I sat in the darkness my body rocking back and forth surely having a break down no more tears to cry yet my body so cold as if I was not in the world of the living. My lower lip trembled the sheets on my bed messy my knees on my chest. Surely I was not meant for this world, surely I was not as strong as I made myself to be in over my head here playing a game that would leave me in a body bag. Running away had never been so tempting a voice in my ear telling me to run as far as I could, to run and leave everything behind but even with this voice it was clear as day that that was never going to happen and that is what I called stupidity. My heart throbbed along with my head having not eaten in such a long time my bladder full yet I could not move even a finger. I was rooted in this spot a word not spoken not even sure how I had got here but here I was just like I had been for the last six hours my body screaming for realise yet nothing.
The moon was gone the night so dark the room even darker to the point where I could barely see my own skin the cold breeze from the window harsh against my skin leaving it with goose bumps the curtains dancing to its tune the calming sound of the ocean not calming enough as I blinked my mouth so dry running my tongue over my lower lip my head bending down and laying on my knees staring at the wall but not seeing trying to figure out what to do next, trying to sort this whole mess out in my head but failing. Just a few hours ago someone had died and I had just watched, how cruel was I to just let him kill him like that. One hit it was all it took, one hit taking a life someone who had been breathing a second ago no longer breathing eyes lifeless staring at me as if it being a promise of to haunt me for the rest of my life.
I shook my head wanting to snap the image of his eyes from my vision and just at the moment the door opened it swinging a man standing there in all his glory wearing dark grey sweat pants hanging from his waist and a white t-shirt feet bare patting the floor as he took a step closer.
I was mad at him or should have been mad at him but as my eyes lingered on his body making his way to me there was definitely no anger or whatsoever making me curse in my head hating how I could never get angry at him. Hating how it was just so easy to let go, the grip he had on me was something that was undeniable watching him as he stood in front of the bed.
"You done with your pity party." The words filled the room slipping from his tongue thick with his Russian accent making me close my eyes letting the emotions to wash over my body deciding not to answer him, deciding to just act as if I had not heard him.
"Come on, lets go."
"Where are we going?" The words slipped out of my mind quicker than I could even think cursing in my head, not talking to him for the rest of the week had been the plan but now it was thrown out of the window looking up at him barely seeing him in the darkest seeing that I was not getting a response I huffed my legs swinging out of bed hitting the carpet slipping them in my house slippers standing up straight coming to his shoulder length watching as he turned to walk out me following him behind.
We walked out of the room closing the door behind him watching, curious as he did not make way to the elevator but deep the passage to the door that could only open to his room. He opened kit walking inside holding the door for me as I entered after him my heart drumming palms sweating my eyes taking the room my body overheating turning around as I heard the click snapping to the key which he had just turned my eyes falling on his him seeming bored walking past me in the dark room.
My eyes went wide my mind overworking perplexed.
Was he going to kill me?
It was the question that had my hands shaking heart as if it would burst my eyes never leaving his retreating figure manoeuvring his way around the room with such ease not sure if I was even breathing scared shitless not knowing what this man was doing and not sure I wanted to find out my feet trailing behind him slowly just walking to my death sending myself to slaughter, how poetic. I watched him the shirt taken off thrown in the closet walking out the breeze sending the curtains dancing sucking a breath because surely I would faint anytime now.
He could kill me every night if it meant me seeing this his upper body as f made of muscles and nothing else that six pack out for my eyes to feast on and those shoulders and the guns he packed just already seeing him pick me up into his arms claiming my lips passionately.
I shook my head surely needing prayer my whole body hot. He slipped on top of the covers his body facing the ceiling his eyes immediately closing laying there like a corpse his chest slightly rising up and down though having a shaky breath escape my lips taking more steps getting closer and closer to the point where I stood next to the bed my eyes unable to tear from his body that had been sculptured by the finest hands the scars just adding fuel to my fire leaving flames roaring so high hungry to consume me wanting so much to talk but how could I? How could my brain even function at this point trying so hard closing my eyes shut yet the image having been burned in my head to forever admire.
"Why am I here, what is happening?" I asked finally, thankful that my voice came out strong my eyes peeling open falling on the man that lay on the bed my face burning red it not getting better but worse actually seeing new things every time my eyes lay on him.
"Jump in little bird and get some sleep. I am the only person I trust in this world to protect you" He said his voice having my knees near buckle perplexed on why I was sleeping here but who was I to complain. Girl if a sexy rich guy who you would die for wants to share a bed with you don't even waste time. I walked around the large bed and when I say large I mean large having to jump onto it laying on my side turning to stare at him not liking the large space between us yet my heart rummaging through my chest like the hulk excitement having me nearly squirm.
Lord I could be a child sometimes. None the less I lay there too looking up at the ceiling staring at the white ceiling with patterns going around with flowers and more there my eyes trailing through each stroke trying to calm my poor heart but to no end it being a losing battle his scent just all I could smell so fresh I knew he had just taken a bath my eyes trailing to the opened French doors staring at the stars that shone bright.
There was suddenly movement to my side turning my face to his side finding it empty his figure retreating to the closet switching the lights on picking something up switching the lights off walking back my head quickly looking away not wanting him to find me ogling at him my heart suddenly seeming so loud as if the sound had been amplified afraid he could hear it, lord I swear even a person on the first floor could hear at as it drummed as if racing horses suddenly in my chest hooves drumming away clenching my fists my eyes to the stars yet not seeing. The bed moved as he slipped in.
"Here," He said his voice snapping me from my fake concentration on the stars turning to him finding him holding out a black t-shirt my hand slowly moving to grab the t-shirt my eyes falling on his eyes they locked a musk pulled on as always my teeth sinking on my lower lip as I took the t-shirt wanting to ask so many questions yet my heart beating too hard for me to even be able to speak his eyes turning away his arms slipping back under his head exposing his cleanly shaved armpits the muscles on his arms flexing now and again deciding to just get out of here before I fainted slipping from the silky sheets walking to the bathroom opening the door closing it after to lean on the door my hand going through my hair heavily breathing not knowing what was happening to me.
I had never had such impure thoughts about a man. Yes I would fantasize of meeting the man that would sweep me off my feet and we would get married then I would give him the gift only meant for him, the jewel that no one else would have except for him yet this right here was something else. This man was going to make me lose my mind wanting nothing more than to just jump on him and let him teach me all the dirty things he would like me to do to him.
A laugh escaped me as I heaved walking to the dual sink leaning on the marble counter eyes staring into brown orbs face flushed and burning nothing but lust in her eyes looking more like a deranged woman biting my lower lip bringing the piece of cloth to my face holding it out with both hands the material falling apart a t-shirt spread out for me so large it would definitely fall just under my butt my chest beating even harder his smell so pronounced it had me groan carefully placing it on the counter my hands falling on my yellow dress that would have been made sleeping so uncomfortable holding the hem pulling it up slowly wiggling my body it moving left and right as the dress slipped upwards until it was pulled over my head my body left bare the bra clipped away it falling apart my large breast falling out my eyes taking my whole body assessing on if it happened how I would look turning all around suddenly so conscious about the way I looked knowing he had dated so many women, how could I even compare quickly taking up the shirt slipping it over my head feeling the fabric kiss my skin my nipples immediately going hard thinking of how his own nipples had brushed through the fabric, thinking of how it had sat on those broad shoulders on his own skin just like it sat on my own skin leaving t tingling his scent so strong leaving goose bumps all over my body biting my lower lip hard a foreign sensation running all over my body leaving me hugging myself my eyes closed feeling the hem of the shirt brushing against my thighs it just barely covering my ass a smile spreading across my face every part of my body tingling my eyes snapping open laying on a reflection of a person I did not recognize filled with want and hunger.
I grabbed my dress walking around and placing it in the washing basket along with my bra turning around my bare feet kissing the cold floor walking out and switching off the lights before closing the door behind me my eyes falling over the bed finding his massive figure still laying there staring at the ceiling eyes closed chest rising up and down making me wonder if he was asleep or not slowly slipping on the cover laying there looking up just like he did feeling that the t-shirt had gone up sure a part of my underwear showing knowing I should pull it down yet I lay there frozen my heart hammering screaming at myself on what I was doing, screaming at myself to pull it down yet my limbs seemed not to work just laying there .
"Even the dead can hear your heart."
My face snapped to the side my eyes meeting his and everything fell apart. I wanted to scream, wanted to jump off the bed and run off through the balcony my folds soaked it just going drip, drip, drip and I swear I was fucked just then.