A/N: I hate to keep opening chapters with "weelllll, this could be better" but this chapter is really a muddle. Oh whale.
Chapter Forty-One: Forever
For the next few days, Ari was the only person who approached me, but I made it pretty clear I didn't want to talk. Everyone else regarded me with looks of confusion and whispered behind my back,
"Who's that?"
It had been decided by the staff that it would be best to obliviate any trace of me from my family's memories. Just another thing I had to add to my list- stopping that from happening. Being erased from my family's memories was literally a nightmare I'd had. Which wasn't really a feat, because whenever I slept I had nightmares.
But the main problem on my mind was the Doctor.
I knew he had burned Gallifrey. Killed everyone. And he had also taken out a fair number of Daleks- but not enough. One ship too few.
All of his crimes were valid. I couldn't really hold the charge of TARDIS theft against him, though, considering I was guilty of the same crime. Treason and mass murder were basically linked.
It was clear to me that he regretted his actions- probably every day afterward. It was also clear to me that he had committed those crimes of his own free will. No matter how much he regretted it, he'd still done it.
Not to mention he was the only other Gallifreyan left. That was a pretty powerful incentive to keep in touch. Basically the only reason I considered it.
@@@
"Hello? Who's calling? You've reached the Doctor at the World's Best Computer Service Hotline. But I'm actually not doing that right now. Try power cycling it."
"That's not what I'm calling for."
"Who is this?"
"Amelia."
"W-what happened to your dramatic vow?" He tried to cover it up, clearly, but his voice had definitely broken.
"Changed my mind."
"Oh."
"I called."
"Yeees, you did! This would be better in person! Let me trace this call! Just on..." his voice faded away as though he had gone running off and dropped the receiver.
Suddenly, a roaring, grinding noise reverberated in my ears, and a TARDIS- more accurately, a 1960s Police Public Call Box, but most definitely a TARDIS- materialized in front of me. Out popped the Doctor, war criminal in a bow tie.
"So, decided to make up with the last of your species? I agree with your decision."
I couldn't help it- I smiled. I stifled it quickly, trying to keep up a serious demeanor.
"If you're going to yell at me, give me at least five seconds' warning so I can tune it out," he said with a wry grin. "I've been yelled at enough in my life already. And I'm sure I'm going to get yelled at again. Sometime."
"Did I invite you in? You can come in." he added with a sweeping gesture.
I bounded into the TARDIS and stared around at the decor, surprised.
"THIS desktop theme? Really? Not at all my taste."
The Doctor actually let out a happy chuckle at that.
"Nobody's insulted my choice of TARDIS desktop theme in about three hundred years," he explained.
"That's your own fault," I said, almost angrily.
I swished my hair precociously and strode up to the console.
"I'd help you fly her, but I never got my Imprim. Only 88." I sighed. "That's one of the many things I'm disappointed about. Also your fault."
"What? Oh- OH! You don't need your Imprimatur to fly a TARDIS! That's all technical. It's not hard. Actually, it is. I've been flying a machine built for six on my own all these years," he said wistfully. "I'll show you!"
He slammed a lever and the machine began to whir.
"Hit that lever to go-" he ran over to the other side of the console- "spin these knobs to adjust the coordinates-" he ran back- "this is a stabilizer- hit that to- actually, I don't know what that does, but hit it anyway-" he swung over- "same with that spinny thing-"
I was totally lost. Why did this TARDIS have so many buttons? Maybe I'd steer the conversation away from flying a TARDIS. I'd prefer an instruction manual and a comfy chair.
"You know," I yelled over the din. "I still don't forgive you!"
"For what?"
"All the horrible things you've done!"
"Wasn't me!"
The TARDIS came to a standstill with a sudden jolt.
"What do you mean, it wasn't you?"
"Old regeneration. You know how it is- totally different personality and everything. I-" he paused and took a deep breath.
"There's not a day that goes by when I don't regret what he did. Me, I mean. I know you've had it hard, thinking everyone was gone, but it's... it's a million times worse knowing you're to blame."
He lapsed into silence. I had nothing to say to that.
"So, I try not to dwell on it! I live in the moment! Let's go save a planet!"
He dashed out the door, imbued with false cheerfulness.
Whether it was to my surprise or not, I never knew. But I followed him.