< Y/n, you leave the house of this fucking pervert, you go back home and you do not ever go back to him. No matter what this guy told you, do not believe him, he's just sick in his damn head ]
I freeze on my spot, scared of this sudden message and not understanding at the same time.
[ what are you talking about? >
< The old guy that you like is sick in his head. He told me everything about what was happening between you two, but any mentally stable man would know that no man of this age can fall in love with a girl of your age, unless he's a hebephile or pervert who wants to take advantage of you. So you leave his house and you go home ]
[ How can you talk about him like that? Jungkook is not a pervert and in no way, that thing you said. I'm nineteen, not a child. He respects me...do not be like that dad...please...he's a good person, he makes me feel good and happy, he takes care of me and knows what is wrong or right, he's there for me and has never done anything inappropriate to me...You know he's not that type of person, he's the one who protected me and comforted me when your employee sexually harassed me...do not do this I'm begging you >
< I'm not telling you again, y/n. You leave this guy ]
[ no. I love him, I won't leave him just because you don't want to understand. >
< No? Are you serious? I swear, y/n. If you decide to choose this guy over your family, I don't ever want you to come home again, I fired him which means he lost his job and the money he earns every month. Do not be naive, a man of his age cannot like a girl like you for the person that she is. ]
[ I don't choose him over you! I just want to stay with him too! But alright. You don't ever want me to come home again? Then I won't ever come back if that's what you want, I'm staying with Jungkook or I'll live in the streets if I have to. I'm not the girl you can control anymore with all your unhealthy possessiveness, if I want to date someone, I do it and you cannot stop me anymore. You think I'm gonna leave him after what you just did?! He lost his job when you know he needs it to pay his bills! You just threw him in the streets when you know damn well he's a good person! He could have kept it to himself! He told me he would'nt be able to hide the relationship to you so he would need to tell you about it! How can you do that?! >
< Fine. Be this type of girl, an easy girl. If you end up being hurt, with no house as a shelter, with no one to help and protect you only because you want to act like a big girl, then stay with this pervert but do not ever come back to me or your mom. ]
I tear up but lock my phone. "Y/n? What is—"
"I'm so sorry, Minjae," I wipe my tears away but step back. "I need to go, this is urgent," I run away, even if I'm leaving him alone with no explanation. I can't believe my own father talked to me like that, used those words to talk to me.
I hate him.
30 minutes later...
I run back inside the house, sobbing unceasingly. As soon as I stumble upon the man sitting on the couch in the silence, my heart breaks into pieces.
His red and teary eyes dart up towards me, a glass of whiskey in his hands as the bottle he took is almost empty and next to a broken phone on the table. I sob even more heavily. I take my shoes off and get my shoulder bag on the floor to rush towards him, but he doesn't move, so I get by his side and put my arms around him.
"Jungkook..." I sob on his shoulder, hearing and feeling him do the same. "Why didn't you call me or text me...?"
"I thought you left without saying anything..." his quivering voice hurts me, deeply, and I look up at him. His puffy eyes staring down at his glass. "And my phone is broken..."
"I won't ever leave you, Jungkook...I'll stay with you no matter what..." I pass the back of my hands over my cheeks, staring at him but suffocating in all the pain and anguish. "You should..." he turns his head in my direction and gets us into eye contact, a heartrending one. "You should go away...leave the disgusting guy I am...I don't deserve your love, y/n...I'm horrible..."
"No, you're not," I contradict his wrong statement. "You're a good person...a good man. I'm maybe immature, but I'm not stupid, I know what is right and what is not. I know you're not a pervert, you're not disgusting, what my dad said is fucking bullshit, he never let me date anyone anyway, so he would find all kinds of reasons to keep me away from you...You're someone good, Jungkook...you never did anything wrong or bad to me. I'm the one who touched you and caused this, I started it because I love you, I don't care about what people say, I know who you are and how you think, so I don't give a fuck about those dumbfucks who might call you a pervert or anything like that...I know you're not."
He gazes into my eyes, his face full of grief paining me. I pass my fingers over his cheeks to get rid of those tears I hate to see on his face, "I'm so sorry...you must be hating me...if I didn't do anything...if I didn't hug you so many times...if I didn't fall in love...you wouldn't have lost your job...you wouldn't feel so bad for liking someone...if you want to stop our relationship, I'll understand...I won't hate you...but I'll be there for you...I'll help you with the money I earn from my block release training..."
I drop my eyes down on his lips but glance at the glass he's still holding, smelling the alcohol whenever he speaks. I grab the glass and put it on the coffee table since I know that the bottle was still full this morning. I put my arms around him and hold him tight.
"I do not hate you, y/n...I'll never do..." he sniffles. "But you should go home..." he says, not aware of the fight I had with my father. "They don't want me anymore..." I stare into space, feeling hurt by my own words and their meaning. "I don't have any house anymore..."
"What...?" his faint voice gets his breathing to blow in my hair, but I tighten my hold around him. "I told my father I would stay with you because I love you...so he said not to go back home anymore...and to never go back to him or my mom..." I choke up on my words, not believing what is happening to me and the things I'm telling him. "I'm sorry...if you don't want me here anymore...I promise I'll find a solution..."
"Do you think I'm going to leave you with no house?" he lets out, but I keep my face on his chest and wipe my tears away. "I'm going to keep you here as much as I can, I'm going to try to find a new job quickly. I put some money aside every month after what happened, this scared me so much that I started to do this so...we can last for some weeks after the end of this month...I don't even care about myself...I'm terrified for you now...what I feared is happening, your future could be ruined because of me, because I let my feelings have the control on me..."
I raise my chin up to look into his eyes. His arm finally moves to get us closer, and he places his hand in the back of my head, tangling his fingers in my hair. "I won't let you down. Okay? Even if I ever lose everything...I'll give you the money I can get by selling my stuff to make sure you can live without any problem."
"I don't want you to do this," I shake my head to show my disapproval. "No matter what you tell me, I'll do it," he faintly smiles, his sadness still not fading away. He brushes his thumb past my cheek and presses a kiss on my forehead. "I called my parents...and I talked with them..." he mentions them for the first time, gazing into my eyes with deepness and fondness. "They both told me they understand and don't think I'm disgusting...they know I'm not a bad person...they know who I am, and they don't care about what people say about me, if I'm in love with you, I'm sincere, that means I'm in love with the person you are. I fell in love with the person you are, your personality, your qualities but also your flaws. We have many things in common no matter our age gap, so I don't want to break that and destroy it. However...if you want to stay with me...you should know that I want to build a family...it's really important to me."
"I want it as well, I'll build it with you if you want me to because I don't care about other people. They judge easily anyway, no matter what you do, you get judged. I know I won't ever regret being with you because I only want someone who loves me, who doesn't cheat on me, who's there for me and understands me...I don't love you just because of the power you have as a man, or the dominant figure you can have, I don't love you for your looks. If I didn't get to know you personally, to know that you are a sweet and caring man who respects everyone, who's faithful and serious in a relationship, I would never have fallen in love with you. Of course, the physical appearance has a little importance, but you could have been like that but have a disgusting personality and mind, in that case, I wouldn't have loved you at all because I also hate attractive men who are bad from the inside. People who will say you only want to take advantage of me are ignorant and judgemental. As long as it's love, then love is love, and my heart doesn't care whether you're nineteen or thirty, it only cares about the way you make it feel and beat..."
"I want to hug you so tight when you talk like that..." he softly gives me his affection with a sweet gaze, but I smile and climb onto his lap to give him a warm embrace. He breathes out heavily but runs his fingers through my hair, doing what I love the most.
We both remain quiet, hugging each other, calming down after such a moment full of anxiety and rush of emotions. I close my eyes, and I stroke the nape of his neck with my thumb, holding one another tightly to never let any doubt about our love for each other appear or try to create itself.
His lips drop a kiss on my shoulder, delicately covering this spot with warmth and softness. "I drank a bit too much...I need to sleep a little..."
"Okay," I move back to give him some space. "I want you to rest," I comb his hair and kiss his forehead, feeling relieved after our talk. He smiles at me, and I move away to let him stand up. He rises from his spot and rubs his eyes while going to the bedroom.
I lie down on my side, crossing my arms on the cushions to rest my head on them. I hope he will find a job quickly and not be worried, even if I give him the seven hundred dollars I earn a month, this won't be enough for him.
I'm dependent on him, and I hate myself for this, he's not supposed to be taking care of a sort of child, but because of me, it seems like it. I could earn a lot of money easily though...but I don't think he would like me to do this, I wouldn't want to disappoint him.
•••
5 pm.
My eyes open, my sleep ending after what feels like a long time. I yawn but cover my mouth with my hand, I peek up on the cushions and check around me. Jungkook hasn't woken up yet. I grab hold of my phone and lie down on my back, put my elbow onto the sofa and rest my head on my hand while slowing regaining consciousness.
I received a message of Minjae some hours ago, I feel bad for dumping him earlier, I was too much in a panic.
< hey...are you okay...? ]
[ Hey, I'm so sorry for what I did earlier. Something happened and I was scared so I had to hurry. I didn't mean to leave you like that😣 >
< oh, it's okay...is everything okay now? ]
[ yes I'm fine >
< I'm relieved to know it, I was actually worried because I saw you crying...I'm glad to know everything is alright now💕 ]
[ I am too💕 >
< what are you doing now? ]
[ I just woke up from a nap, I'm going to cook for dinner. What about you? >
< I'm soon going to eat as well. What are you going to cook? ]
[ I think I'm going to cook a lasagna >
< Can you send it to my house please?😍 I love lasagna sm ]
[ I'll do it😁 >
< 🥰 ]
I smile but put my phone down. This boy is sweet, but that breaks my heart because I know he likes me and I don't feel the same way. He's so cute and kind that I'm pretty sure I would cry if I was seeing him in front of me, asking me out. I've already had to do this, but the guys were not like him, they were fake, immature and stupid, so I never felt guilty or bad. However, I will be hurt with him.
Anyway, we can still be best friends.
I sigh but get on all fours to gradually get up. I leave the sofa and walk up to the bathroom, my period stabbing me in the stomach since this morning. I close the door behind me and do my stuff.
5 minutes later...
I step out of the bathroom, feeling better like this. Seeing my clothes just made me remember that I will have to go back to my house when no one is there, I still have the key, so I will probably have to go there on Monday and take all the stuff I have in that house.
I pull up on my skirt to place the top properly around my waist, and I walk up to Jungkook's bedroom. I would like to make sure he's okay, that he's not crying all alone in his bed.
I open the door discreetly, walking slowly and putting my feet down on the ground with delicacy. Once I'm inside, I push the door back and stroll to the bed on which the tall and muscular man is. I bend over him but place my head close to his, to check if he's breathing, and since the light is still present at this hour of the day, I scrutinize his face to take a closer look at his skin.
No sight of tears, no puffiness. I press a subtle kiss on his cheek and straighten up. A deep inhale surprises me, and I regret touching him when he was peacefully having a nap.