Noah POV
Eliana's eyes pierce into my heart. The tears welling up in them, tearing me up.
"He was saying crazy things about you. I couldn't just sit by and listen." She shakes her head, taking a deep breath. I swallow.
I know she wants to take all the hurt, she probably thinks she deserves this. We haven't even talked about it together.
This brewing storm between us, the past, and pain. 13 years worth of it.
"You can sit by. You should sit by. You're the Alpha of this pack, Noah! You've made a promise to protect them." She lets her hand fall. I grab it before it reaches her side again.
"Let's go." Nosy eyes and ears surround us. Fuck all of them.
I pull Eliana to follow me as she matches my pace.
She's confused about all of this. She just has to hear me out. I don't want to lose her like this.
We hurry through the house, dashing up the stairs, down the hallway and into my room. Eliana slips her hand out of mine as the door slams shut behind her. Her gaze points to the floor as I sigh, frustrated.
"Why are you listening to them Eliana? You're not the one who hurt Samantha. They're the ones in the wrong for pushing all that blame onto you." Eliana meets my eyes, as her chest rises and falls fast.
"What's wrong with that? What's wrong with them blaming me? You should blame me too. You know the connection between members of a pack. They span into blood and actions. You know that." Her brown eyes grow wild as she shouts.
This is better then nothing. It's better than the soulless doll that slept next to me last night.
"You mean more to me than some fucking blood. The Luna of this pack can't be anyone but you. They have to accept that. Can't you fight for yourself?" I take a step closer to her, the edge of her black jeans grazing my knee. She looks away, avoiding my eyes. My fingers wrap around her jaw, bringing her gaze back to my face.
"Where's the spirit I saw bubble up in you? Where's the girl who stood up to Beth? Eliana, you've been bullied all your life and I promise to pluck every strand of fur from your tormentors, but I need you to want that too. I need you to want to fight." I search for any sign of a spark, that something I've said has clicked. She pushes off my grip, walking past me and further into the room.
Nothing.
"I don't know what you're talking about." She mumbles, shaking her head. I turn, following her.
"Yes, you do. You're taking these hits because you feel like you have to and I understand that. That's what my sister's death made me feel, but you taught me to let go. You told me to share me burden, that you would carry half." I breathe out, clenching my fists as the golden beams of sunset filter through the window, bold on Eliana's dark skin.
She's so beautiful, but why does it look like she's dying?
"Noah, I just don't want you going against your pack like this. When we met, you made it clear your pack was, and still is, your life. You told me how hard you've worked for them, how much you're willing to give up for them. Don't throw away their loyalty." She says, glancing up at me for a brief moment.
"I am their leader and this is what I think is right for the pack. I'm trying to lead them out of their delusion, Eliana. I need you to open your eyes too, but for that to happen, I need to hear how you feel. You look... gone and it's scaring me." My feet take me to her, stopping a foot away. Her eyes grow wide as moisture fills them.
"No, no! I don't get to cry. I don't get to fucking cry." She whimpers, turning away from me and furiously shaking her head. I trail after her footsteps.
"Yes, you do! Talk to me, Eliana." Her back faces me as she stands by the window, soft white curtains reflecting the sunlight on to her cheek.
Her back hunches over, trembling as her arms wrap around her body.
She's cold. Weak. She's been bearing this all alone.
Her heartbeat pounds against my chest as I wrap my arms around her shivering figure. Tears tickle my wrists as they fall onto them, gently.
This is the heart I've been waiting to see. To feel.
I've already given mine away.
Eliana POV
Just keep your mouth shut.
I bite my lips, blinking away the tears in my eyes as more pour down my face.
He's too warm, it's melting my walls. He's shattering all I've worked to keep in.
"I tried, Noah. I tried so hard to belong. I wasn't, I really wasn't trying to put any of you in harm, but I thoughtlessly came here. Goddess." My sobs rack through my shoulders as Noah holds me tight to his chest. The only thing keeping me standing.
Just shut up. Don't make him feel bad for you. Stop.
"I never thought I would come to miss our loud dinners, Beth's annoying comments, even that weird training thing you guys do after breakfast. Noah, it all disappeared when I opened my eyes that day." My tears continue to flood as Noah runs his cheek against my head.
Stop relying on him.
"We can get that all back. We just have to make them realize that-" I push him away, shaking my head again as I turn to face him. His hands fall by his side as fists.
"There's no realizing anything. The truth is what we're dealing with, Noah! There's no damage control for this. I don't know what to do because there's nothing to do. I can only accept this. I was never meant to belong." A heavy sob leaves me, my knees bruising as I collapse on to them. Noah kneels beside me.
"You belong with me. Fuck everyone. Forget Moonstribe, forget my pack, forget all of that. For my sake, be here with me." He holds my face, tingles shooting through my cheeks into the core of my being.
There's no point to arguing anymore.
I nod, letting my head fall into the crook of his neck as I cry.
Noah will always be my home.
He pulls me in, stroking my hair while whispering words I don't catch over the roaring of my thoughts.
But I can't let him do something he'll regret.
"I'll always be on your side." His breath brushes my ear.
I have to go before he really does lose his pack. What's a Luna-what's an Alpha without his pack?
"Forever."
I'll disappear out of his life.
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55.6k ~ 8/4/20
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