Wishing you godspeed, glory
There will be mountains you won't move
Still I'll always be there for you
✂︎------------------------
1 DAY, 1 day left until I never step foot in Redwood Academy, prestigious high school ever again. 0 Days if you count today, Friday. More specifically, 1 hour. Today was a half-day, as it was also the last day before Redwood students got winter break.
And as I stood in the hallway, shoving the random shit that sat in my near-empty locker into my backpack, I had a few minutes to myself to think about some things.
Those things being what the fuck comes next? Sure I go to the new boarding school, but then what? Do I have to forget about everyone I met here? Forget about my old life completely and press the restart button, again. Is this really the end? I walk to lunch, spend 30 minutes at a table with people I'd have to leave behind, and then walk to the library where I'd spend the 30 minutes of free period trying to stop Savien from crying.
A common occurance that's been happening almost every time she's seen me the past week.
I never ended up going to Sonny's party. Even after telling my parents it was a friends piano recidal and I promised I'd show up, they still wouldn't even let me leave my room. Seriously. They locked my door and turned on the alarm so there was no hope of sneaking out though the window. I felt like fucking repunzal. Swiping through Snapchat stories of videos of the party before letting my phone die and laying tiredlessly in bed until I fell asleep.
During school, I've been trying to distance myself from everyone without walking away completely. It's been hard enough doing that, and even harder when half of them are in my classes. But today is the last day, so it doesn't exactly matter if I distance myself or not, I wouldn't be seeing them again. In person, at least.
I felt guilty. Because I wish I cared more. I think I'd been so used to forgetting people and leaving people behind, that relocating once again wasn't affecting me as much. Also because I've been doing nothing but preparing for this feeling and the moment I'd have to walk away.
Shoving the last item in my locker, which was a half empty pack of gum, I started the walk down the empty hallway to lunch. Or, near empty. Out of basically no where, the person I've been avoiding the most stumbled out of a classroom door.
Reece. I didn't say hi, or say anything. I just stuttered in my step, pausing for a second and looking at him before continuing down the hallway. He didn't say anything too, but walked along side me.
"You're moving," He said, as we neared the doors to the cafeteria.
"I am."
"Good luck in the next life."
"I'm not dying, Reece."
"But you're not staying either."
"True. Thank you."
"This time, I promise I won't follow you there."
"Much appreciated."
Reece looked at me, an expression on his face I couldn't comprehend. Maybe contentment, or maybe peace. With how things between us ended. Nodding, he turned and began opening the door to the cafeteria. Just before walking away, he glanced back.
"Oh, and Laura?"
"Yes?"
"Blonde hair looks good on you."
Then he turned back around again, going his seperate way to join the friends he sat with before moving to my table. I don't know why, but after everything that had happen, that simple compliment filled me with ease. I wanted to say thank you. But it felt better ending things on that note. Even if it wasn't a proper goodbye, and probably never will be one. It was enough.
"Hey, Laura, can we talk?" Throughout my entire time in Redwood Academy, I can't recall a single time I had a conversation with Ace and Cajes, without any of the others nearby. So it was strange seeing them ask to talk. Especially as we stood in the lunch line while I was about to order.
Grabbing a tray, and looking at the options for today, I shrugged. "Sure."
"So," Cajes began, glancing at the food, scowling and looking away. He sure doesn't like the cafeteria food. "Isaia told us that you and him kissed."
"Oh-."
"And he also told us not to mention that we know to anyone," Ace added on, also ignore the lunch ladies and the food. "But clearly we don't care."
"Well... yeah. What about it?" I questioned, picking up a fruit cup.
"I feel as with my position as Isaia's brother who would definitely tap his Mother," Sorry what? "I should tell you a few things."
"Go ahead," They were beginning to drag this on too much.
"If you really are moving, and you really are planning on cutting ties with everyone once you're gone. That should include Isaia. He's a pretty shit person, I mean, we all are. But don't lead him on or give false hope if you aren't positive you wanna purse some fancy relationship with him," Ace requested, pretty boldly, may I add.
"I hope this doesn't come off as rude. We just care about him. And even if he doesn't show it, if you were to lead him on, give him hope of a long distance relationship or whatever the fuck, and then randomly drop his ass he'd be pretty heartbroken," Cajes added on, gently.
I nodded my head, placing the rest of my food on the tray. "I can guarantee, I will wrap up any loose ends before leaving this school," I promised. Whatever that means.
"Thanks, really," Ace said, smiling a little before stuffing his hands back in his pockets. "Well besides that, I wanted to say thanks. If it wasn't for you Tao would probably still be running this school like we are her Barbie dolls."
"I barely did anything."
"Maybe not. But you got replaced a problematic bitch and that's enough for me."
"Well in that case, you're welcome," I shrugged. It wasn't just me though. It was Rachel, and Savien, and even Isaia a bit for helping me out occasionally. But even if I did replace a 'problematic bitch', I kinda took her place and filled in the exact same roll.
"Maybe see you later," Cajes said, softly patting my shoulder before walking off with Ace.
I think that was their form of a goodbye. And even though I never knew them well and never will, it was sort of nice hearing from them.
"What's up," Someone said, popping the p and sitting down in the empty chair next to me.
It was free period, and as usual I was in the library basically just scrolling through my phone at one of the tables. Glancing up, my eyes landed on a tired looking Sonny. "Oh, hey."
"I guess I'll get straight to the point," He sighed, rolling his eyes and leaning back, stretching out his legs underneath the table.
"I kind of hated you in the beginning. We all pretty much did. I thought you were just trying to take down Tao so you could take her place as another bitch, but even if that was you're goal I don't hate you anymore."
Gee thanks.
"You're a pretty decent person, Laura. And a pretty decent friend when you aren't plotting everyones downfall," Accurate. "I can't say I'll be depressed if you left. I guess I never knew you that well or made an attempt to form any kind of deep bond or relationship or whatever. But I wanted to say thank you in private, I guess. I think killing off Tao helped a lot of us realize how shit of a person she is and we are too. Kind of made me realize how shit I am in general and still am, you know?"
"Yeah," I nodded. "Made me realize more too."
"So in your honor, I'll try my very best to be a decent person. And to make sure the 3 musketeers don't try anything once you're gone."
"Okay, sure," I shrugged. I didn't really care what happens next. As long as Tao never get's a chance in the spotlight again I was happy. "But... but promise me one thing, okay?"
"Sure, whatever you want."
"Promise you won't break Savien's heart? Take good care of her, okay? Since you're her certified simp now-."
"Simp is a strong word-."
"Just promise, okay?"
"I promise."
"I can't believe you're leaving, shit, I'm already crying again! Fuck!" Savien cursed, wiping her eyes as we stood a few feet apart.
She said she had somewhere to be after school ended and needed to leave as soon as the bell rang, but instead was standing here in front of me, stalling. Which I don't mind at all. "We barely even got that much time together and now you're leaving? You were supposed to be my sidekick. My main bitch. My lover. My homiesexual!" She sputtered, breaking out into tears again and launching herself into my arms for another hug.
I wasn't crying, but it sure felt like I was going to. Savien was my friend, I'd come to realize far too late. Not just a regular friend. In the short months we knew each other, she felt closer and more understanding of me than any of my long term friends I've had. She really did feel like my sidekick. The person I wanted to move to New York with and live in a shitty apartment with and go through hangovers and getting fired and doing stupid shit that new young adults do.
She was the person I thought would be with me through everything because it already felt like we've been through the most.
It was one of the hardest goodbyes ever because I really saw all the potential in the relationship. But I saw it far too late. I wish I made more of an effort. To facetime her late at night. Spend every afternoon together, whether it was shopping for no reason or studying while complaing about the mean teachers and obsessing over the kind of hot history teacher that teaches Seniors.
"I really wish I could stay," I replied, but it came out as a soft whisper.
A single tear dripped down my cheek, landing on the shoulder of Savien's shirt. "I'm still going to call you. Even if you're boarding school is in Scottland or 6 hours away and your parents don't let you hang out with anyone. I'm going to facetime you every single fucking night and cry about your absence and you better pick up!"
"I will," I laughed, but it sounded like a pained laugh. Probably because it was. "I promise I will."
"God, you're parents are fucking assholes, even at the dinner they were assholes! No offense but I wish I could adopt you," She complained, still embraced in the hug.
"Me too. Me too."
Her phone started ringing, and she pulled away from the hug only to glance at the screen. "Fuck, my Mom's calling. I have to go."
Ignoring the call anyway, she tucked her phone back in her pocket, just looking at me. And this time I was the first to move. Rushing forward to hug her one last time. A really tight hug, I was probably suffocating her.
"I love you, Savien. And I say that with all the homo in the world," I mutter, letting another tear drip down my cheek.
"I love you too, Laura. And if you don't answer your phone tonight I'm going to seriously torch your house and blame it on your Mom."
"Please do," I replied, wiping my own eyes now. Pulling away once more, she gave me a simple smile, before turning and rushing over to her car and climbing in. "And take care of Luca!"
I wasn't crying a bunch, but my heart felt like it had just been squeezed and then thrown against a wall. Because it physically hurt, watching her drive away.
"You already know we hate you, Laura Strathen. And I know you hate us too. But despite all of that, I think I look up to you," I never thought I'd be recieving a final goodbye from Brandy and Zia as Tao stood staring angrily at them in the background.
"Oh."
"You're strong, and you don't take shit from anyone, and you sure as hell don't let people walk all over you. I wish I was the same way," Zia confessed, nodding her head towards me.
"Good luck in your new school. You really did it, huh. Who would've thought it'd be the new girl with no name that took our crown," Brandy said, a gentle smile and bitter laugh behind it.
"Thanks, I guess."
"Tao won't say it herself. But she wants to let you know that you won. And also to burn in hell."
"Tell her I said thanks."
"Will do, your majesty," Brandy replied, sparing me a final glance before turning and walking away with Zia.
I think those two deserved better. I think everyone deserves better. If only we weren't so fucked up.
The parking lot was practically empty. But I had been waiting till most people left because I wanted to say goodbye to Redwood alone. My driver himself was on his way, I told him to come 30 minutes late. And now it was just me, a few cars backing out of their parking spots and beginning to drive away, and one other person.
Isaia Woods.
"How are you feeling?" He asked lightly, sitting down on the bench next to me and watching the last few cars besides his leave the schools parking lot.
"I don't think I'm ready to go. Didn't realize I'd have such attatchment to this shithole until I was actually leaving," I answered honestly, sighing.
More silence. "So what happens now?"
"Now we get into our cars and drive away," that's all that can happen, right? What else could we do? Do we even have other options?
"I wish we had more time together."
"I'm not dying, maybe in the future we still will."
"You say that now, but we both know we won't."
"How do you know?"
"Because I know you, Laura. And I know myself. And I think if we both believed this wasn't the end we wouldn't be here saying goodbye."
A single black Mercedes pulled into the parking lot, and I recgonized the license plate and familiar person seated in the front seat. It was my driver. It was time to go.
"That's your ride?" Isaia asked, nodding towards the car.
"Yeah," I acknowledged, not moving anyway, just looking at it.
"I guess we should be leaving now," He said softly. But neither of us made any move to get up until about 2 minutes later, when he stood, stretching his hand out towards me.
Grabbing it, I stood up as well, dusting off my coat. "Well then."
"So this is goodbye?"
"Don't make it sound so certain."
"But it is."
"Then don't make it sound so sad."
"Just being realistic."
More silence.
"Never thought I'd be saying goodbye, honestly. I didn't think this far ahead when moving here. I thought I'd move back to America eventually. I don't have anything here for me anyway."
"You had us."
Had.
"It was fun while it lasted."
"Not really, it was kind of shit."
"You're so pessimistic, Isaia," I rolled my eyes, still looking at the car that waited for me to climb inside of.
"We all are."
"You're just making this harder."
"Then what do you want me to say?"
"See you later alligator."
"Never say that again, I'm serious," Isaia wrinkled his nose.
"Okay then. Goodbye, Isaia. It was nice meeting you."
"It was nice meeting you too, Laura Strathen."
"Maybe we'll meet again someday. Or I'll see your name on a billboard or stupid magazine."
"Maybe."
It was a stupid goodbye. And it wasn't the one I wanted, but it was probably the one I needed.
In a while crocodile.
Song Of The Chapter: godspeed - frank ocean
Are you guys crying? I think I'm crying. I'm most certainly crying at a story I wrote myself holy shit i'm such a baby LMAO.
ANYWAY I WAS LOOKING THRU BOOKS AND I SAW THIS ONE BOOK BUT I WONT MENTION THE NAME OR ANYTHING. bAsicaLLy the highschool was named the same thing (redwood) and it was a similar concept with the whole rich people shit and the main male character/love interested WAS THE SAME PERSON AS MY BOOK AND MY PETTINESS INSTINCTS KICKED IN AND I WAS LIKE... . . . am i being copied????
and then i remembered my book is like 909009000 others out there and the main male character is a model and popular on pintrest lMFAO i had to have reality slapped back into me for a second
but ya,
i wanted to make one chapter with all the goodbyes, so everyone has their moment with laura :')
and hey, 1 more chapter and an epliogue to go :')
just becauses its a goodbye doesn't mean its over.
Hope you guys enjoyed, much love - kujiis