Tine was not really into dudes, he was however one hundred percent into Sarawat and maybe even more than that, especially now with how handsome and bashful he looked on that glitzy stage. Tine's heart raced faster inside the tight enclosure of his ribcage at the sight of Sarawat's haughty, tux clad frame in front of the tall tripod microphone, getting ready to speak as his sultry lips parted a little crookedly on one side. The black tuxedo accentuated Sarawat's wide shoulders but also highlighted his narrow waist, with the white shirt snuggly tucked in at the high waistband of his sleek dress pants. Tine tugged at the bowtie around his own long neck. He was for sure getting a little woozy from the high of these sticky feelings that were swelling within his heart.
The fancy, red fabric of the grand theater seats was soft under him as Tine fidgeted in his spot in one of the front rows. He was getting somewhat impatient, this type of big scale event was for sure truly amazing but he wanted his pale hands all over that hot piece of man as soon as possible, or preferably right this instant. It was always so rewarding to feel Sarawat writhe all hot and alive under him, like he was never meant for anything else beside falling apart under Tine's touch. By now he sure knew all about Sarawat's sweet spots.
Tine's fingers curled into his palms as he was trying to subdue his racy excitement, trying to stow it away and save it for later.
The young female celebrity to the left of Tine side eyed him a little suspiciously but also quite curiously since this man had been holding hands with Sarawat's just before the winner for the award of Best Album with Social Message was announced, bringing Sarawat up on stage with a thunderous cheer from the crowd.
Noticing her gaze, Tine quickly inclined his head her way, one hand raised halfway to his chin in greeting, slightly apologetic for his ambiguous restlessness as a rectangular, self conscious smile was plastered on his flushed face. The woman smiled back thinly and turned back around to face the stage, her eyes double their size with amazement.
Oh my god! Was that Sarawat's non-celebrity boyfriend? What the heck, she had thought that he was a model or something before she noticed them share a quick peck while watching one of the flashy performances on stage, its luxurious laser illumination bathing both men in a dreamy cascade of glowing light. It felt almost incriminating that she had accidentally thieved a glimpse of the sweet moment that solely belonged to the two of them. She sneaked another look at the fair skinned man who gawked ahead with a star struck look on his face, completely mesmerized by his lover on the big stage.
Sarawat's long fingers were carefully holding the heavy, golden award that he had received from the beautiful show hostess just mere seconds ago. He changed his footing, shifting closer to the microphone and blinked owlishly out over the sea of people under the bleary lights. The musician felt slightly overwhelmed and tried to find the silly face of his boyfriend amongst the crowd to have something safe and stable to focus on. Tine was his anchor. And there he was, leaning forward in his seat with big, shiny eyes boring straight into Sarawat's soul and then Tine lowkey raised his hands, brandishing two thumbs up in the musician's direction with a cheesy smile on his face. Sarawat stifled a chuckle. What the hell, Tine looked ridiculous. But fuck, he just loved this man so much.
Tine's breath hitched when their gazes locked over the space and light spanning the distance between them. His fingers twitched at the unanticipated jolt of electricity running through his body, short circuiting his brain. It suddenly reminded Tine of that first time he went to Sarawat's concert together with Green five years ago, already then subconsciously wishing for the musician to notice him out of all the people there. (Yes, yes. Both Boss and Green were insufferable, gloating at any given chance about how they had so masterfully plotted to get them together again.) And here Tine was now, making eyes at Sarawat unashamedly, proudly. His boyfriend looked like some otherworldly creature with that arrogant tilt to his chin, his tall frame backlit on the stage.
Sarawat's hair was brushed into a side parted comma curl, leaving a soft twirl of fringe to fall just right above his big, soul consuming eyes. He might have reluctantly allowed the nagging stylist to add some type discreet eyeshadow along his eyes, making them seem all the more intense. Like a vortex, Tine had muttered, his own pupils dilating when he had seen Sarawat walk out of make up a couple of hours prior. They had almost failed to walk out of the dressing room with their decency intact, having automatically gravitated towards another, pressing in closely for a deep, messy kiss. It was fair to say that the stylist was not particularly happy having to restyle Sarawat's hair and touch up his slight make up. But frankly, Sarawat could care less about that, he would give anything to Tine, whatever and whenever he wanted it. Tine could oh so easily ruin Sarawat if he ever felt like it.
Sarawat swallowed, unwinding his bow shaped lips and leaning closer to the mike stand.
"What we do for ourselves dies with us but what we do for others and the world remains(*)," he started off his speech. "I would therefore like to reach out my heart to that special someone in my life who makes me constantly strive and grow, motivating me to make something out of nothing. Without him I would not be standing here today. Tine," Sarawat paused, his dark gaze sweeping heavily over the crowd and zeroing in on his stunned boyfriend, whose heart faltered in his chest at being addressed this unexpectedly. "Thank you and I love you." Sarawat leaned away slightly, a coy smirk grazing his lips and eyes sparkling as he mouthed, "Always."
An excited buzz went over the crowd, merging with the pounding of Tine's heart in his ears. Was that the reason why Sarawat had been so secretive when Tine had asked to proof read his speech? The fair skinned man flushed since all eyes were now on him. He ducked his head quickly, trying to flee the scrutiny as his hands clutched at the soft armrests. He was slowly getting used to Sarawat's blatant and unashamed displays of affection but each time was still a shock to his system. It was a strange combination of wonder and trepidation at seeing Sarawat's love being so grand and all just for him. Needless to say, Tine was evidently bad at accepting what someone was trying to give him.
Boss reached over Sarawat's empty seat between them and patted Tine on his upper arm supportively, a wry smile on the manager's lips. These two seriously, how many times were they planning to show off their love in front of everyone? Boss shook his head wryly and turned back to proudly look at his friend on stage.
Sarawat had actually planned to wing the most of his speech since he had not believed that winning the award was actually a possibility. Sure, his songs were amongst the top ones on the billboard charts, he had a crazy, widespread fan base and many companies wanted to collaborate with him now than ever but it was his first time to win an award that actually stood for something more, something that resonated deep within his core, something that was a piece of himself which he braved to share with the world. So Tine had sat his foot down on that one, forcing Sarawat to sit down and put together at least something coherent, just in case. And guess if Sarawat was grateful for listening to him now?
It seemed that as clumsy and dense that Tine sometimes acted in their private space, his analytical, law enforced brain still urged him to make carefully weighted choices and craft strategic plans. It sometimes both confused and enthralled Sarawat how Tine could be all mushy and loose limbered one moment and then calm and collected the next, sharply analyzing a situation when the need arose. Sarawat had just always been his stoic, prickly self, acting however he pleased and it was anyone's choice really, to either take it or leave it. However being together with Tine was slowly but surely taking the edges off of Sarawat's thorns.
"The essence of all art is gratitude(*)," he continued, shifting his grip on the award figurine in his hands. "The support that I have received on this album has sometimes come from the most unexpected of sources. Thank you everyone for allowing me to share this special moment together with you."
Sarawat stepped down the stage to a thunder of applause and blurry lights, missing how Tine surged up to his feet from his seat and pushed through the glitzy row of celebrities in a desperate pursuit of Sarawat. This time none of them would have to leave the concert hall in disappointment without one another.
<<<REWIND
Tine had a bright, even if far too complicated mind and sometimes, after all these years, Sarawat could still not understand the intricate inner workings of it.
As right now for instance, when Tine was currently moping around the apartment. His fine eyebrows were drawn into a cute frown and his round mouth looked even squishier and more delicious in the pout that graced it.
Sarawat's half lidded eyes tracked Tine's robotic movements all the way from the kitchen counter as the fair skinned man was quietly shuffling around the living room under the false pretense of cleaning. In fact, he was just moving stacks of things and random items from one corner of the room to the other. Sarawat exhaled deeply.
Something was obviously bothering Tine and he was trying to hide it by acting suspiciously subdued. Tine was never moderate. Something just had to be wrong if a day passed without him stumbling over the most random of things, yelping loudly or crashing things behind a closed door. And Sarawat was both anxious and lowkey enamored by Tine's sluggishly moping existence. Even like this, he just seemed so huggable. Sarawat was like that poor moth, drawn in by the deceptive glow of the burning flame.
Tine's frown had somehow been stuck on his face since the day prior. He had seemed a little quiet when they went to bed but Sarawat had assumed that come morning everything would be as usual. It happened that Tine sometimes needed to shut off for a little while to reload his energy. And that was fine. No one could constantly keep on rushing heedlessly into things, some down time was good too. So ultimately Sarawat had assumed that Tine would be his usual peppy self once breakfast rolled around but instead Sarawat was met with a dark scowl as soon as he opened his owlish eyes.
Still bleary eyed and loose limbered Sarawat had reached out for Tine's warm waist to draw him in for a morning kiss, and maybe even hoping for something more racy. He was however met with a dry pillow instead, as Tine had quickly stuffed it in his face in place of the kiss. See? Moth. Flame. Following that, Tine then wiggled expertly out of Sarawat's grasp and out of bed, his feet padding resolutely over the hardwood floor until the bedroom door was slammed with certain finality.
Whelp, at least the pillow had a fresh trail of Tine's shampoo lingering on it. Even the little things could make a life worth living. Yeah. Who was he kidding? Sarawat had to come up with something to lure Tine out of his strange sulk unless a life of celibacy was his thing now.
Which brought Sarawat back to the present at hand. He was sitting across from Tine at some fancy restaurant, having brought them out on an unplanned dinner date since all that moping around their apartment had been unbearable to watch. Sensual lights were twinkling around them and some sort of romantic music was playing in the background. This cheesiness was not really Sarawat's thing and apparently not Tine's either, at least not today, but here they were. Tine was usually easily diverted by mention of food so Sarawat hoped to score at least some points but alas.
"Tine, what's wrong?" Sarawat asked for the nth time as his hand sneaked along the white tablecloth, his fingers grazing Tine's hand that was fidgeting with the shiny cutlery. Tine stilled and looked up wide eyed at his boyfriend, his nape flushing suspiciously for being caught out.
"Nothing's wrong," he parroted, trying to seem nonchalant but the fingers on his other hand were thrumming against the tabletop restlessly. The tips of his ears were now getting pink as well.
"Lies," Sarawat simply said and leaned in over the table, elbows perched atop it. A tiny smirk curled on his sinful lips, eyes sparkling. It seemed that he might be close to catching this particular bunny in his trap. "You're acting strange." Sarawat grasped Tine's hand quickly, snagging it in his hold as if he was some type of predator. "Spill, what's bothering you, nuisance."
"Um," Tine cleared his throat, finally cracking under the scrutiny, hair flopping into his eyes a he lowered his head slightly. "Are you going alone to the award show?"
"No," Sarawat simply said and blinked at Tine, trying to understand what was going on inside the other man's head.
"Oh," Tine uttered and looked away, his white teeth grazing shallowly over his bottom lip. "Okay."
Sarawat cocked his head to the side, suddenly realizing something. Was this the thing that kept bothering Tine? What the heck! Tine's overthinking was sometimes insufferable, really.
Except Sarawat might have created this type of situation by his own design, as he had so many times in the past been too vague, shutting Tine down instead of cluing him in on the whole thought process inside Sarawat's own head. But what to do when everything in Sarawat's mind was rather simple? If he loved something then he did it with his whole being, no questions asked. Tine did not even have to doubt, he could just safely assume that whatever he wanted Sarawat was already ready for it.
But just thinking about it and actually saying it were two different things. If Sarawat wanted to give Tine all of his love then Sarawat had to learn how to do it the right way, so that it got through Tine's dense skull.
"I'm going there with you," Sarawat elaborated, trying to disperse the misunderstanding before it had a chance to pester. Which was the right way to go as Tine's taut shoulders instantly sagged with relief. Sarawat patted himself mentally on the back. Good job, crisis averted. Tine turned his hand around, which was still in Sarawat's grasp and interwove their fingers softly. A shy smile was pulling at his pink lips.
"Oh," Tine murmured, a pleased flush grazing his sharp cheeks as his eyes coyly avoided Sarawat's penetrating gaze. "We are?"
"Of course." Sarawat tugged at Tine's hand, trying to make him look up. "Why would you think otherwise?" He inclined his head. "Should I have asked you instead of just assuming things?"
"What? No." Tine looked up hastily and blurted out, "I would never say no! It's just that Boss was waxing poetic about this model, Pam-something, that you're family friends with. He, uh, might've slipped that you guys are going together..." Tine trailed off, rubbing at his nape awkwardly.
Sarawat frowned, his grip tightening on Tine's hand. That idiot manager. Boss was the one interested in Pam from all the way back when she had done a few endorsements with the musician, badgering Sarawat to ask her to come along with their team to win some brownie points with her.
"Boss is the one who wants to go with her to the gala, as in wanting her to be his date," Sarawat explained with a wry look on his face and then rolled his eyes heavenward in exasperation, leaning back in his seat and tugging Tine's hand with him over the table. "Unfortunately I've been chosen as the messenger for their awkward," he paused looking for the right word. "...courting."
Tine grimaced at this and then burst out into a high pitched chuckle, eyes crinkling at the corners. Well, the more you know, right?
"Tine," the musician suddenly said more seriously, now with both of his wiry hands around Tine's pale one. "I know that you can't help overthinking things." At this Tine's shouldered up, a sharp retort already on the tip of his tongue but Sarawat squeezed his hand to let him finish speaking first. "But next time just ask, don't wait for however long."
"Fine" Tine muttered petulantly, feeling chided.
"I was worried," Sarawat wheedled, trying to catch his boyfriend's suddenly elusive gaze, tugging on his hand.
"Okay."
"I thought something serious had happened."
"Okay, I get it!" Tine looked up with fire in his eyes only to get sucked into the vortex of Sarawat's own smoldering gaze. An electric current sizzled suddenly between them, almost making a sparkle crackle in the dry air of the restaurant. The time came seemingly to a halt.
The musician's shapely mouth was slightly ajar and then a pink tongue darted out to swipe at his lower lip. Tine swallowed dryly, his Adam's apple bobbing as he tracked the sensual movement with his doe eyes. Their hands clutched desperately, almost painfully around each other, like a lifeline.
Suddenly Tine's phone buzzed inside his pocket, breaking the spell and with an exasperated sigh he leaned back, unclasping his hand from Sarawat's to shimmy the device out of his slacks, instantly looking at the screen. Tine's expression slowly morphed into a severe frown at what he was seeing on there. Sarawat's own dark brows came down in concern. It was just one thing after another. Where they ever going to be completely out of the woods?
"Fuck," Tine breathed finally and looked up regretfully at Sarawat, eyes clear and phone squished between his connected palms as he brought his hands up in an apologetic gesture. "I'm sorry but can we just, uh, go home and order some take out or something? That idiot Peuk has made a mess of the shareholder report that we need to submit tomorrow."
"Is he coming over again for an all-nighter?" Sarawat asked annoyingly, lips twisted sourly. Tine's friends were even a worse cockblock than Phukong had ever been when he had crashed at Sarawat's place a couple of years ago. They kept constantly coming over to work on projects and whatnot for their tiny but striving startup business.
"Yes, sorry!" Tine darted up to his feet, fluffy hair bouncing around his head. "Remind me to never make any business ventures with friends ever again," he muttered vehemently as he tugged on Sarawat's arm to get him up and going. "Let's go, we still have time for other stuff before he shows up."
That certainly got Sarawat going as he instantly perked up, eyes big and twinkling as he nodded enthusiastically and surged from his seat, proceeding to drag Tine trough the restaurant and then out to their car.
The statement you win some, you lose some had never felt this accurate before.
Note:
Oh boy, this certainly got a little long but whatever, stay tuned for part two really soon :)
And let me know what you guys think!
See below for the outfit inspo at the awards show in the story;
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*Footnote:
Obviously I am no master at writing speeches, so I unashamedly googled some cool quotes about gratefulness etc, see credits and the full quotes woven into this chapter below:
"What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal."
-Albert Pine
"The essence of all beautiful art, all great art, is gratitude."
-Friedrich Nietzsche