I tenderly shift in my seat between a couple hundred of my closest friends in the "S" section. After Christian didn't assault me in an abandoned classroom, I had to rush to find Kate and then to find my spot in the procession, barely sharing a word with her out of nervousness. Rushing and pearl panties do not go well together. At least not when you don't want to come.
Kate's speech is great. She must have been working on it very hard. It was good when she practiced in front of me last week, but it wasn't a showstopper. Towards the end of the speech, her eyes meet mine in the crowd and she smiles. I feel the cream leak out of me onto the pearls, onto my skirt. At least I have the hideous robe to cover up.
She doesn't miss a beat, though, her eyes only resting on mine for a moment before she looks out over the crowd again. My gaze flits over to Christian, who is eyeing me intently. He shakes his head "no" so slightly that it would be imperceptible to an onlooker, but I see it.
Don't come yet, is what he's telling me.
I clap enthusiastically at the end of Kate's speech, watching as she goes to sit down next to Christian on the stage. They exchange an odd look before he stands up, buttoning his jacket.
"Look at him!" I hear a squeaky voice behind me.
I don't take my eyes off Christian as he approaches the lectern, but then I hear another voice say, "He's so hot. I wonder if he's single."
I bristle slightly, but keep my cool. Turning around fully, I have to catch my breath when the pearls slide over me. Christ! I am not going to make it. I lean conspiratorially towards the girls. "I heard somewhere that he might be gay."
"Damn," says one girl.
"All the best ones," says her friend.
I turn around again to face the stage, slower this time, keeping my breath as steady as possible.
I have no idea what his speech was about. His eyes never meet mine the entire time, but a small smile creeping up the sides of his mouth means he knows I'm watching him. I can't pull my eyes away from him to look at Kate, though I'm dying to know what she's thinking. I don't even really know what I'm thinking.
Before long, it's over. Everyone's standing up and clapping. He's gotten a standing ovation. Damn, I really should have listened to the speech.
I join the rest of the crowd, standing, clapping, panting (that part's just me I think) when he looks straight at me and smirks.
Is this the signal? Is it time? Why now? Is it that the noise is meant to cover me? Would he make it that easy?
But before I can think, everyone is sitting down and I am nearly at the edge of a body-wracking orgasm, standing alone in the S's. I blush and sit down, pulling my eyes away from Christian's laughing ones.
When my ass hits the chair this time, I let out an audible gasp. Everyone within a yard of me turns to look, but I fake a coughing fit and they look away.
By the time I compose myself to look up at the stage again, Christian is no longer looking at me. He's back in his chair, next to Kate. Chatting. They're having a freaking conversation.
Oh my god, what are they talking about?
She throws her head back to laugh as the first of the A's climb the stairs to receive their diplomas. Christian pulls himself to stand again, shaking the hands of graduates, offering them congratulations. He's beaming from ear-to-ear and though I don't know why, I'm embarrassed.
Maybe it's the threat of being discovered in my near-orgasmic state.
Maybe it's the possibility that Kate and Christian were talking about me.
Maybe it's that those hands that were on me just twenty minutes ago are now touching those of my entire graduating class.
I pull my eyes away from the blush-inducing Christian Grey to try to steady myself. I know it'll be at least a half-hour before my section is called to stand and I have to keep myself together at least that long. I highly doubt that I'll be getting the signal before I'm up on stage.
I look around for Kate but notice she's not to be found on the stage. I search with my eyes, wondering where she could have gone — maybe back to the K section? — when I notice her walking straight towards me. What is she doing?
When she reaches my row, she steps over several people to scooch towards me, then shoves me a little so we share my folding chair, much to the chagrin of those seated next to me.
"What are you doing, Kate? Shouldn't you be with the K's?"
She gives me an incredulous look and points at her tassel.
"Didn't you see me graduate?! I was the first one, Steele!"
I blanch entirely then lean in quickly and give her a giant hug, moving the pearls along the way. "I'm so sorry, Kate. I totally missed it."
I must have been trying to collect myself.
"Well, Chris said you were distracted," she says quietly.
"'Chris'?"
"Yeah, what do you call him? 'Christian'? Too long. He said it was fine."
Oh, so now they're on a nickname basis.
"Whatever, he calls me 'Katie' and I manage to tolerate that."
Ah, and there the color comes back to my face.
I feel my wetness spreading again, bringing me close to my panting state from earlier. Christian's voice from earlier echoes in my head, And don't let anyone else know you're coming. I want all your pleasure to be mine. It's proving to be harder than anticipated. Especially with Kate practically sitting on my lap.
As nonchalantly as possible, I ask, "So, uh, what were you two chatting about?"
Kate gives me an evil smirk and a wink. That's enough to make me come right here. "Chris told me not to tell."
She leans in even closer to whisper, placing a hand on my thigh in the process. I look up at the stage to see Christian looking right back at me. At us, I guess.
"He said I should come say hi to you because you were all worked up about something." She gives my thigh a little squeeze and leans even closer, her lips just brushing my ear. "I have a guess as to what that could be, Steele."
Christian nearly snarls in my direction but returns to his task of shaking hands and congratulating graduates.
She gives me a tiny little peck just behind my ear then jumps up, excusing herself over several, very annoyed pairs of legs.
"See you after you're done!" she calls back, then disappears into the crowd again.
I close my eyes and try to slow my racing heartbeat. I think of puppies and swimming pools, Jane Austen and microeconomics — all the things that calm me.
In what feels like just an instant, everyone in my row stands and the guy sitting to my right taps me on the shoulder.
"Come on, get up already," he says.
I leap to my feet, which undoes all of my good work of lowering my heartrate, since it cases the pearls to completely shift, bringing a new wave of wetness practically dripping down my thigh under my robe.
I have to shuffle my feet to escape my row, which is even more excruciatingly wonderful than the standing was. By the time I reach the aisle, I'm out of breath once more. The guy behind me offers me his inhaler, but I wave him away.
"I'm just excited... about finally graduating," I say.
We make our wait to the stage as slowly as humanly possible. It's driving me crazy, this shuffle-stop-shuffle-stop-shuffle-stop rhythm we've established.
Once I reach the foot of the stairs to the stage, I hesitate. I have managed to hold myself together this far, but between the prospect of lifting my legs to climb the four steps and of seeing Christian Grey, of touching Christian Grey... and in front of all these people. I don't know that I'd survive it if I came loudly in front of everyone I know. I'd die of shame right there on the spot.
Well, at least I would die happy.
I wait until the girl in front of me clears the top landing then rush up the stairs as quickly as possible. When I reach the top, I can't help rubbing my thighs together to keep up the sweet, evil friction.
"Anastasia Steele," the provost declares to what feel like raucous applause. I scurry over to the president, shaking his hand and taking my diploma. I smile for the photographer, but can barely focus my eyes at this point. I'm going to come. It's going to be big. It's probably going to be loud. It's going to be the end of me.
I wobble slightly on the high heels when I see Christian waiting for me at the other end of the stage.
He smiles warmly at me. For the lay observer, nothing inappropriate is happening here. I stagger over to him and he all but catches me in his arms.
"I'm so very proud of you, Miss Steele," he says, shaking my hand. He reaches up, I think to touch my face — in front of everyone — but reaches instead for my tassel, moving it to the other side of my cap. "You seem distracted, Miss Steele," he says and smiles again. My knees buckle.
Still holding my hand, he leans in slightly, touching my shoulder. "You may come now, Miss Steele."
All I can do is shake my head. I can't do that in front of all these people. No way.
"Hm, I see," he says, standing up straight again and giving my hand one last good shake. "How about when you sit back down, then, hm?" There's no smile this time.
"Yes, sir."
I hurry down the stairs and basically power walk back to my seat. The whole row waits standing, me pacing in place, until the last person gets back. When the usher gives us the signal, we all sit as one.
I look up at Christian as I lean back and come. The last graduate gets his degree to thunderous applause before I'm finished.