Jungkook was fuming, his feet thumped against the floor with each step he took. His hands were balled into fists and his knuckles were turning white. He was confused at his own emotions, at his own thoughts. Torn between what he wanted to do and what was the right thing to do.
His feet entered the cabin that was silent. The Alpha stopped, finally disconnecting from his rage, and noticing how awfully quiet the house had become while he was absent. He took a deep breath, at last stretching his hands and calming himself down. Warily, he walked up the stairs, not wanting to startle Hani. Upon reaching the door of their shared room, he peeked his head inside. All the anger he had felt moments before vanished into thin air as his eyes laid themselves gently on her sleeping figure. His heart eased in his chest, noticing the sleeping girl on the bed
Jungkook turned around; his feet led him to one of the other bathrooms. He needed some space to think, by himself. Closing the door behind him, the image of his mate was immediately replaced by the gruesome scenario Taehyung had described to him. Jungkook's hands held onto the sink and his head was bent – defeated. With shaky hands he opened the faucet and splashed some water on his face, the image was still too vivid in his head. That disgusting ritual of theirs had haunted him since he was a little kid. Sometimes, if he paid close attention, if he really pried into the memories, he had tricked himself into believing were gone, he could still hear the sound of the axe falling against the wood, the lewd sound of the head slipping, falling and tumbling on the floor, the laughter of those who did it...
The Alpha's head raised; his eyes met the reflection in the mirror. He leaned his head slightly sideways, thoroughly he analyzed the scar on his cheek. The gift they had given him. Jungkook's slim fingers traced along the scar, his throat dried as the hurtful memories filled his brain. He hated looking at it, seeing it plastered on his face for the whole world to see. A reminder that he was a monster like them – although he wished he wasn't. Even if he didn't have the scar, Jungkook's actions would prove it. He didn't know how it happened; how he became like them despite not being taught, despite angrily and constantly revolting against them. Perhaps, it was a natural instinct that lived inside of him that only was awakened due to the loss of his parents.
At this particular reminder, Jungkook's hands immediately tugged at his shirt. His hand softly touched the place that shielded his heart. It was a bitter thing to think about, an even bitter event when he realized he couldn't stop it or hide it. No matter as much as he tried, that monster would come out and kill everything that stood in his way. Jungkook felt powerless. Without thinking, without ever warning the Alpha of the spark, his body burst into flames, his heartbeat accelerated and his eyes swiftly changed to the color. He tugged his hair harshly, his body convulsing into his own self, desperately on the verge of breaking and destruction, for huge was the desire for wrath.
A loud smash echoed on the walls of the previous quiet cabin. Jungkook breathed heavily, his eyes focused on the spots of blood in his hand. Glass was spread across the bathroom floor, glistening and glimmering. Slowly, Jungkook raised his head to look at the crumbled mirror in front of him. It was broken in half; and the cut divided Jungkook's reflection in two. Tears were threatening to spill from the Alpha's eyes, once more reminding himself how gruesome he was and the things he did.
Jungkook took one last glance at his distorted reflection before he started picking up the shards carefully. His hand was healing rapidly, erasing just as fast the blood that was his and the blood that, although not belonged to him, he was the one who had spilled it. Once he had gotten rid of the shards, he washed all those memories and thoughts away. His cuts were stinging from the water, even if, they were healing; even faster, the Alpha scrubbed his hands. Sighing, he walked away. Hazy, cloudy, his head hammered, trembled and thundered. The Alpha had to practically drag himself back to the bedroom.
Hani was still sleeping peacefully, unaware of the shattered mirror and of the Alpha's outburst. Her pink lips were slightly pursued together, in a pout, and her cheek was squished against the pillow. Softly, hesitantly, he traced her features with his bruised hands. His fingers – no matter how much they did it – always felt shy against her skin. Intimidated by the gentleness of her features, the softness of her skin, the warmth of her body. As if they were afraid of making a wrong move and scare her away – or even worse break her. At that moment, his heart ached feverishly in his chest, chocking itself with his bare hands, stealing all the air from his lungs; for he noticed the trail that had been left by the tears on her – a scar that the girl carried too.
The Alpha tried to swallow his guilt. Even if he wasn't sure he knew what was upsetting his mate, he felt bad about it. Jungkook felt bad for leaving her alone, just when she needed him the most. Guilt crawled upwards, clogging his chest, for he was lying and keeping important things from her. A bitter taste coated his tongue for he knew something was upsetting her and he did nothing to ease her discomfort. Jungkook was trying to protect her, that was the right thing to do, right? So, why was he feeling so bitter? So, angry and unsure of the decision he had made?
Jungkook's body and mind were tired from the day, utterly drained. Gently, he laid down on the bed next to her. Tenderly, he wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her closer to his chest, needing to feel her warmth in presence, mingling with his. The way she fit so perfectly in his arms, the way she nuzzled herself instinctively against him – like being in each other's arms was something natural to them – it all enticed him, mesmerized him into falling deeper in love with her. Drunk on her image, the Alpha gazed at her mark, at the starry skies and the moon that adorned it. The mark had regained back its color and the missing stars had come back home. It reminded him of his second chance, of the promise he had made to himself. The way he had smiled when he saw the mark and rejoiced knowing he was finally moving forward from his dark past. It was, to him, a glimmering hope. Another path waiting for him to take, that was neither mean or vile, or eventful and cruel; just mild and loving.
As he took a deep breath, Jungkook appeared determinate. The Alpha had to do what needed to be done, in order to keep his mate and his pack safe, it was simple. If that meant that he needed to lose control and let that beast take over, then he'd do it. Matter of fact, he'd do anything to have Hani always like this... in his arms, safe, protected, cared for. Nothing was going to stop him until he made sure everyone was safe. Foolishly, he tried to reassure his own self by tricking his mind into believing that his second chance would come, eventually. After the war was over, after everyone was safe; Jungkook would give himself a second chance. He would trust the moon goddess, Hani, Namjoon, Jin, Hoseok, Yoongi, Jimin and Taehyung.
With an assertive and resolved mind, Jungkook closed his eyes and waited for sleep to take over his limbs. During those few minutes that lingered, he pondered about the gruesome nightmares he used to have. The ones that reminded him of what he had done, how many he had killed. He thought about how he stopped having them, once Hani came into his life.
For some reason, she acted like an eraser of all his bad deeds. As if she had come into his life to purify him. To remind him, there's a lot more than what meets the eye. To let him know, he needed to forgive himself and move on. To let him know, his heart was good.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
The pack house, on that early morning, buzzed with sound and activity.
The 7 men passionately discussed amongst themselves, throwing ideas and pointing out details the others had missed out on. Maps were sprawled across the big dark wood table. In them small wooden pawns were layered down in different positions and the men continuously kept on changing them from spot to spot. The cause for all this commotion was simple. Jungkook had given orders, strict orders.
That morning, the Alpha had woken up early and marched towards his beta's cabins. Strongly, he summoned them with an aggressive and persistent knocking, demanding they all met him at the pack house. By coincidence, the 6 betas ended up arriving at the same time. When they entered, they saw their Alpha sitting on the big chair that stood out from the rest, his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes scanning the already carefully drawn maps. As soon as they saw him like that, they knew what was about to begin. Jungkook looked at them sharply, a determined gaze and a burning flame hiding behind his dark eyes. And so, immediately, the men approached him with chest full of readiness.
"We can use the mountains to the west to our advantage, Jungkook" Namjoon added by pointing his finger to a specific place in the map." With them not knowing out territory and the landscape, we can tire them out on the climb or prepare a surprise attack at the top"
"That might be a good idea Namjoon hyung... Still, the place is too exposed." Taehyung jumped into the conversation, remarking the different risks and condition such plan would be affected by. The Alpha remained quiet through it all, silently listening and debating on the beta's suggestions. "It doesn't have enough vegetation to actually prepare a surprise attack. Also, it's too far from the pack. It's a risk"
"Do we have to strike first?"
Jimin's question made everyone grow mute around the table. From the moment they walked in, all of them had been planning how to attack. They had been structuring the best revenge possible after what happened to their patrol group, an effective payback. Jimin's eyes shakily looked around the room before they finally stopped on Jungkook. The Alpha slightly nodded his head at Jimin, telling him to continue.
"If we do strike back, we might be jumping into a war we are not ready for. If we wait cautiously that will give us time to get more allies and thoroughly plan our next move. We are not fighting a small or weak pack. They are more than us. If we want to win, we have to be smart. So, my idea would be just to wait."
"We can't just wait Jimin! What if something happens?"
Abruptly, Yoongi got up from his chair, his hands slammed the table enraged at Jimin's suggestion. Waiting would be giving their pack a death sentence, Yoongi thought. From his place, leaned against the wall Taehyung snickered at Yoongi not enjoying the tone in which he spoke.
"That might work"
The 6 boys heads snapped towards the head of the table. Their Alpha had finally spoken.
"We know they are impulsive; we saw that from how they attacked us out of the blue." Jungkook got up from his seat, his betas' eyes trailed behind him, curious of his words. "If we attack now, they will attack ten times harder and at this moment, we are not ready for something of that magnitude. They are far more than us, they show no mercy. We need to wait and prepare first. We need to get more alliances, get to know more about our territory and our advantages, come up with a safe place to move all those who cannot fight."
"So what? We are just supposed to sit here and wait while they make us look like clowns out there?"
Jungkook smirked at Yoongi's little comment, amused at the beta's naivety. Everyone's eyes widened in curiosity at their Alpha, seeing how he had opened one of the drawers to remove a small black pawn. Jungkook moved swiftly back to his place in the table and he placed the black pawn in the middle of the rest.
"I will not be fooled, Yoongi." Jungkook's voice carried a smug tone, his eyes shone with a glow that brought chills down Yoongi's spine. "They are impulsive and we will take advantage of that. We will prickle them, tease them, play with them, until they come running towards our pack enraged. By that time, we will have a well-constructed strategy and it will be rather easy to win. No wolf fights well when he's a hothead"
"How we are going to do that?"
Hoseok asked, his eyes glued to the black pawn that stood out from the rest, contaminated them. As if it was a plague, an outsider.
"A spy. We will infiltrate one of ours in their pack. That way we can get reports of their plans, daily. We will try to cause as much damage possible without actually engaging in a fight. Ruin their patrols, mess up their deals, steal their allies. Anything that will piss them off."
"Who is going to be the spy and how will we get them inside the pack?"
"I can ask my recruits if they would be interested and then we can decide collectively who will it be"
All the boys nodded their heads at Hoseok's request, slowly becoming confident in the sneaky strategy that they were coming up with.
"I still have contact with that one rogue that used to be from their pack, I can reach out"
Jin added and Jungkook told him to follow through with it. After a few hours, it seemed like finally the 7 men had reached a decision. Noticing that the issue was over, they all raised from their seats, ready to leave and proceed with their daily responsibilities.
"Before you go, just one thing" Nervously, he pushed his hair back as he grabbed the pawns from the map. They were clutched in his hands aggressively while he spoke, threatening to shatter at any given second. "I don't want mistakes. I don't want to lose lives. So, this stays between us 7 got it? Don't tell anyone, I mean it. I don't want people getting worried and doing stupid things. Just inform the recruit you find the most capable, Hoseok hyung"
Before either of the boys could say something to each other, the door opened abruptly causing it to hit the wall; the sound echoed around the room, shaking each of the boys' heartbeat. They all widened their eyes in shock, especially Jungkook, noticing his worried mate standing at the door.
"Bab-"
"What happened? Is everything okay?"
Jungkook interrupted her with his shaky words and marched towards her, hurriedly. The Alpha attempted to conceal the vibrant fear that was imbued in every single one of his movements. Yet, it was all in vain. The way his hands quivered against her cheeks, gave it all away.
"It's j-" Hani was confused, perhaps even frightened, upon seeing the Alpha acting so worried and scared. She fumbled with her words, trying to catch her train of thoughts again. "It's Lina. We think her waters broke"
Hurriedly, Jin and Hoseok left the cabin, both running madly and franticly. The Alpha's body relaxed, his hands fell from his face, once he realized his mate wasn't in any sort of danger. Sighing, he shared a look with the rest of the boys and one by one, they all left, leaving Hani and Jungkook alone.
"Is everything okay? You look worried..."
Jungkook had walked back towards the big meeting table, he was rolling the maps and putting everything pack into their places. His back faced her, which worried her even more, for she could not read him, neither decipher whichever glow painted his eyes. A long silence dragged itself out between them, arising a new found insecurity in both.
"Yeah, I'm fine"
His answer was short, too short. Short enough to make Hani's little overthinking mind go into a spiral. Something had been bothering him; she had been quick to catch that. But what if that something was actually her? Had he found out about the fact she was keeping things from him?
"You guys seemed busy and agitated, is everything okay? What were you talking about?"
"Just the usual discussion, nothing special"
Hani noticed the little black pawn in his hand when he turned around to face her. For some reason, that single, little, useless black pawn had prickled her mind. It was almost like it was telling her Jungkook wasn't sharing everything. That, in fact, he was actually hiding something from her and that, somehow, it was connected to that pawn. Still, she decided to not press it further. Hani trusted that with time, the Alpha would open up to her.
Hani's head was bent down, her eyes focused on her white sneakers, yet her mind was still deep in her overthinking process. Lately, or so it seemed, her brain had been full with questions, doubts, insecurities and fears. Maybe all of this new information had changed them both. Definitely something had changed the moment Jungkook found out about True Alphas and their past. Perhaps he... didn't want Hani anymore. He didn't want the past to happen again, he didn't want her to be put at risk or to lose his powers when he had sacrificed so much in his life already. That had to be the cause behind his distancing from her. It made perfect sense in her mind.
"Hey, what's in your mind baby?"
The touch of his hand on her face, his sweet gentle voice had pulled Hani from her whirlwind of thoughts. It was also then, that she noticed a wetness laying under the warmth of Jungkook's touch. Had she been crying? Lovingly, he caressed her cheeks with his thumb, his eyes never once leaving hers that avoided to look at his.
"I miss my family, that's all"
Another lie. The third lie the pair had said to each other.
Jungkook just nodded his head and wrapped his arms around her; he too deciding to give the girl space. Hani snuggled her head against his shoulder, breathing in her mate's scent. As she did it, the Alpha told her not to be sad, that they could visit them soon, that she just needed to clutch onto the hope and wait for the next day. The girl pretended that it worked – his words – by smiling softly at him. Lies after lies; that seemed to be their small little ritual now. Neither of them liked it but they believed it was for the best. They didn't want to be selfish and worry the other, have them trapped in their problems and becoming a target. They protected each other by lying, believing that's how they kept each other safe. When in reality, they were stuffing the other in a cage.
Instinctively, almost magically, their lips were drawn towards each other as if an invisible thread was intertwining them, leading them always to one another. Their lips were shaky, scared, insecure like them. Not like one would get during their first kiss. They acted as a mirror, a reflection of the emotions that swirled inside their chest. Their hearts rested on their lips. It was their way of communicating when words seemed to fail them or, in this case, when their words weren't true. As if realizing the negative emotions that poisoned them, both Hani and Jungkook pressed their lips harder against each other. The kiss grew strong and assertive, their lips moved rapidly, frightened to miss out on a touch, a feeling. Jungkook guided their bodies towards the wooden table at the center of the cabin. His hands rapidly went for her thighs, raising Hani and sitting her on the table. The mark was tingling, she felt hot and her whole body seemed to suddenly be awakened from a deep slumber by Jungkook's lips. The Alpha's mouth moved to her neck, stopping at her mark where he softly colored it with kisses and bites, heightening the electricity that ran down her veins. Her small hands tugged at his dark green sweatshirt – she wanted it out – and Jungkook immediately removed it. They kept on diving deeper into each other, as time went on. Jungkook had pressed his body against hers, forcing Hani to lie down on the cold table. He had taken her shirt off, only to softly kiss her from her neck to her exposed cleavage slowly. The girl's hands had never been bolder, as she softly trailed every single one of his muscles with her fingers to the point that she could memorize them – draw them into the thin air.
"Hey! The baby is o- WOAH"
Jungkook's head snapped towards the new voice, absolutely annoyed and irritated with their timing. Namjoon was frozen at the door, his eyes daring to come off their sockets with how much he was widening them. Realizing the tension in the room, Hani carefully raised her body from the table, making sure Jungkook's broad torso was covering her enough, so that she could put her shirt back on. She wrapped her arms around the Alpha and he immediately relaxed against her touch, for seconds even forgetting Namjoon was still there.
"We'll be there in a second Joon"
Namjoon silently thanked Hani for saving him from Jungkook's wrath and quickly, he walked out of the door. Jungkook turned around to face his mate, a mischievous smirk on his face. Her hair was slightly messy and little red spots surrounded the mark and down her chest they went.
"C'mon we have to go"
Giggling slightly, Hani told Jungkook as she threw his sweatshirt at him. After making themselves look as presentable as possible, Jungkook held Hani's hands and made his way to the door. However, as his foot stepped outside, Jungkook stopped. He closed the door again, he faced her and passionately, certain of the things he felt, he said to her.
"You know I'm always here for you right? For better or for worse"
"You know I'm always here for you too, right?"
They smiled at each other, a full blossomed bright smile – the first one since they had arrived at the pack. Hani got on her tiptoes and pressed a small quick kiss on his lips, creating a smile on her mate's lips. With their hands holding safely each other, they walked out of the pack house into the foggy morning.
All it took was one kiss for the couple to understand the other's emotions, despite not knowing the cause of them. It had been enough for them to say what the other needed to hear. They would be there for each other, no matter what secret each kept. No matter how big it was, how scary, they would be there for each other. Simple as that. Lies die and are forgotten with time, kisses like that don't. They clung onto the back of your mind, come to haunt you during a sleepless night to have you smiling from ear to ear. Lies would be lies, kisses would be kisses, and Hani and Jungkook would always be there for the other to lean on.
Still, none of them was prepared to hear the lie the other kept. A lie so big, so important, their love would be put at test.