The first thing I registered was the weird feeling of someone’s gaze burning into the side of my face. I squinted my eyes to peek through the light shining directly into my orbs, my pupils probably the size of a pencil dot on paper.
I groaned and tugged the blanket higher over my body, covering my face and sighing in relief. Sadly, it only lasted for a couple of seconds, as it was suddenly ripped clean off of me.
“What the-”
“You don’t get to go back to sleep.”
I blinked blearily to clear out the blurry view and came face to face with Leah lying propped up on her side with a flat look on her face.
“I’m hungover, babe. I can’t deal with this headache right now,” I whined as I rested an arm over my eyes, blocking as much of that dreaded light out. It honestly didn’t help that much.
“Aly, I got you water and painkillers.”
Peeking to see if that was true, I let out a huge sigh and hefted myself upright to take the pills and glass she got from the bedside table. Her hazels watched me intently as I gulped it down and only spoke when I finished my water.
“What do you – how are you feeling?” she cut herself off.
It was then I registered the sensation in my lower abdomen. “Like I drank two damn litres of something, and my bladder is about to burst.” Looking around, I realised I recognised the room. “Are we at Gia’s place?”
“Yeah, she let Zach and us spend the night.”
“Okay. I’m going to the bathroom real quick.”
With that, I got out of bed without looking back, dashing to the connected bathroom, and relieving myself. When I was done with my business, I came out of the room to see Leah sat up against the headboard as she waited for my return.
“Wait, did her parents see me like this? Her mom would kill me…”
“No, we’re clear for now.”
“Alright.” I sighed in relief and joined her back in bed, settling on the blankets. However, I noticed she was looking at me with this crease between her brows, and so I decided to ask. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
My girlfriend didn’t reply right away. Her tense jaw clenched even tighter before she gathered her words. “Do you… do you remember what happened last night?”
I tilted my head as my mind automatically went to work to recall the most recent memory from yesterday. Leah’s narrowed eyes watched me carefully.
Pushing through the fogginess of waking up and the throbbing headache that was slowly subsiding, one specific memory from last night came to mind and I couldn’t help my eyes from widening as I cupped my hands over my forehead.
“Oh my god. Holy fuck. I can’t believe I actually did it…”
“Yeah, I guess you did…”
Before she could continue talking, the door opened to reveal my red-headed best friend on the other side.
“She up yet?”
“Yup,” I heard my girlfriend reply, popping the ‘p’.
“And does she remember…?”
I chose to groan out a reply myself. “Yes, I do.”
“Oof.”
Nodding in agreement to her sentiment, I looked up and gripped the sheets for some stability, hoping I’d be able to grasp my reality soon. Just the mere thought of what I did kept dunking me back into a state of disbelief.
“Can we talk about this later? I just need some time to think,” I said with heaviness, knowing that the two of them were readying themselves to barrage me with questions.
There was a pause before Gia spoke up. “Alright, Al.” I sent her a grateful smile and she returned it with a crooked one. “Oh, and my mom’s made breakfast. Well, it’s ten, so brunch, actually. But yeah, come down whenever.” And with that, she shut the door on her way out, leaving me here with my girlfriend in silence.
After a minute passed, I turned to Leah with hesitance. “Are… are you mad that I did that?”
The dirty blonde pursed her lips and ran a hand through her silky hair, but otherwise, her expression gave nothing away.
“As you said, we’ll talk about this later.”
I nodded slowly, unsure of whether I should be looking forward to that or not. Getting up from the bed, I took my girlfriend’s hand in mine and gently tugged her up to follow me. She did so without words and we both made our way down the carpeted stairs and into the kitchen where I could smell the delicious scent of hash browns and pancakes wafting about.
As we entered the room, I spotted a red-headed lady by the stove, with crazy curly hair tied back by a flowery bandana as she swayed from side to side to the jazz music playing from the speakers. I released Leah’s hand and approached the woman from behind.
“Aunt Susan, hey!” I announced my presence as I gave her a tight hug.
“Oh my gosh! Aly! A warning next time!” the woman yelled, but I could tell she was delighted to see me as she turned around to return my embrace. “I haven’t seen you here in too long. Gia knows to bring you around more often than this!”
“I guess I’ve been busy lately. You know how it is, with school and soccer.”
“And dating,” Aunt Susan added, giving me a sly look. I rolled my eyes at her.
“Yeah, yeah,” I said sarcastically, but I couldn’t stop my eyes from subconsciously shifting to meet Leah’s as a smirk stretching across her lips.
“Oh, come on dear. You won’t be this busy unless there’s someone else occupying your attention so much to the point you forget to visit even me, your favourite person in the world!”
Gia sputtered from her seat by the kitchen island, mid-bite into her hash brown. “Mom, if anyone in this room is gonna be her favourite person, it’s me.”
“Debatable,” Leah muttered quietly as she took a seat beside my best friend. The other girl raised a brow and whispered something to the blonde, too low for me to hear. Leah pulled away, wide-eyed. “Gia!” she exclaimed as she slapped Gia’s arm, my friend laughing maniacally at her reaction.
I could see Gia’s mom shaking her head from the corner of my eye, too used to her daughter’s antics. “Alright, food is on the table. You help yourself, dear.”
I took a seat beside my girlfriend and grabbed a few hash browns and pancakes for myself. A moan escaped my mouth as soon as the heavenly taste of the pancake met my taste buds. “How is this so good?”
Leah cleared her throat beside me, shifting in her seat as she reached out to grab a toast for herself.
“Now, what is your name? I don’t think I should keep calling you Wendy Darling in my head,” Aunt Susan chuckled as she addressed my girlfriend.
“Leah Bennett,” she said with a charming smile, “Nice to meet you, Mrs Finnegan.”
“Aunt Susan is just fine for you. And I just want to say, what an amazing performance last night! I’m proud of you girls, really. But I’m glad it’s over. Gia was always yammering and yammering her lines and using rehearsals as an excuse to get out of chores. And-”
“Mom! They didn’t have to know!”
“Know what?” Zach said as he entered the room then, rubbing his eyes sleepily.
“Nothing!” Gia shouted. The sandy-haired boy looked confused but let it go as he dove for the hash browns. Momma Finnegan made a tsk sound and gave Leah and I a look as if to say, look at the child I have to deal with.
The rest of brunch went by quickly and soon, Zach, Leah and I were getting ready to head out the door. The two of them headed out first, but before I could cross the threshold, Gia pulled me back. “I’ll talk to Charles, okay? I know you don’t want that going out, so I’ll talk to him for you. You don’t need to worry, alright?”
I smiled at the genuine concern my best friend showed and pulled her to me for a hug as thanks.
After that, I said my goodbyes to the Finnegan’s and exited the house. Zach waved his farewell as he parted from us to walk home, while my girlfriend and I headed in the direction of Dean’s house a short distance away to retrieve my car.
We walked in silence, our hands brushing each other’s from time to time as we observed the quiet beauty of the neighbourhood around us. I liked the small, barely-there touches. The subtle teasing always made me giddy inside.
The sun was high in the sky, but it was accompanied by a soft breeze that gave off the illusion of a not-so-hot day. We got to the car soon enough, but as I was about to get into the driver’s seat, Leah stopped me.
“Give me your keys.”
“What?” I asked, frowning in confusion.
“Come on, give them to me.”
“I’m not drunk, I can drive, Leah-”
“It’s not that. Just- trust me, okay?”
Her hazels gazed at me with earnest sincerity and I just couldn’t say no to her. I trusted her.
Handing over my keys, I rounded the car to get in on the passenger side and plopped down with a huff. Leah got in too and started up Logan, glancing at me briefly before setting off.
Instead of going in the direction of either of our homes, she drove us to the outskirts of town to a place I wasn’t expecting her to bring us to.
“The pier?” Looking around us, I spotted a couple of cars parked about. My gaze drifted to Leah and she met mines with a determination lying underneath like she was on a mission to get something and nothing could stop her.
“Come on,” she quipped and got out of the car. I followed her lead, feeling the stronger breeze on my bare skin, its wind brought in from the sea.
I didn’t come here often during the day, preferring the view of the setting sun and the cooler temperatures as fewer people lingered about.
Leah took my hand and made her way to the pier. I had a faint idea of what this was all about, and just thinking about what the next few minutes would entail had me growing nervous.
Birds flew about and rested on railings and benches, pecking at god-knows-what on the ground. There were people milling about – couples, children, elderly and the odd fisherman here and there, but we were all spread out so overhearing each other’s conversations was unlikely.
Leah led me to a bench near the end of the pier, getting us a perfect view that faced the endless, azure sea. We sat down, still holding hands and just relaxed for a bit. I didn’t know why, but for some reason, I didn’t feel the usual fear of holding her hand in public here. This place was my safe haven, and it felt wrong to deny myself this pleasure in my space. My haven.
The wind in my face felt nice and I closed my eyes to take in the comfort of the breeze, its gentle caress a sensation I cherished.
I was broken out of my floating trance when Leah took her hand out of mine, causing me to open my eyes and see her shifting her body to face me as she bit her lip. I waited for her to say something with bated breath, and with a small sigh, she spoke up.
“I want to know what you were thinking when you chose to do that in front of Charles yesterday.”
My first instinct was to shrug, but I thought better of it. That wouldn’t do me any good.
Instead, I pondered on her words and tried to recall the exact moment I decided to think fuck it and act brashly.
A heavy breath escaped me as I shook my head at myself, remembering the exact moment.
“I wanted to be brave, and the alcohol definitely helped with that.”
Leah’s eyebrows furrowed. “Brave?”
“You remember what we talked about in the car last night, after the show? I said I wanted to care less about what other people thought. All this time, I’ve been caring too much about that, and so for once, I wanted to see how it would be like not having to hide us or care what they think. Be brave. And you know what, kissing you like that has got to be the best feeling ever.” A smile tugged at the corner of my lips as I met her gaze with certainty.
Leah didn’t say anything - just stared back with those calculating eyes. I decided to continue and fill the silence. “Like I said, you deserve more than the sneaking around. And as cheesy as this sounds, you are worth risking rejection for. Although, I’ll admit, choosing to make out in front of Charles like that might’ve not been the best way to go,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck sheepishly.
I waited for Leah to say something – anything, but all she did was run a hand through her soft blonde locks, then got up from the bench to approach the railing. Despite the sinking feeling invading my chest, I got up and followed her, standing by her side as she rested her arms on the wooden railing. Her distant eyes looked out into the sea, and if not for the fast thumping of my heart pounding in my chest, I would’ve appreciated the picture of serenity she so easily displayed.
After a minute of silence passed, I couldn’t hold in my anxiety anymore and blurted out the one question I was scared to know the answer to. “Are you mad?”
Her head jerked to face me in surprise. “What? Why would I be?”
“Well, because I kissed you in front of Charles without asking you. I mean, he was your ex and I basically outed you. I never asked if you were okay with that…” I trailed off; my eyes trained on my fidgeting fingers.
I felt her fingers gently tilt my chin upwards to meet her gaze as a soft, reassuring smile stretched her lips. “No, I’m not mad. I was very surprised at the time - but no, not mad. I’ve never minded coming out. To me, if they didn’t have to know, I didn’t need to say it. But if they did find out, I wouldn’t really mind either. Charles knowing about this wasn’t in my plans. I just wish you warned me beforehand before you sprung that on me.” She brushed a thumb across my cheek before letting her hand fall.
“I’m sorry I didn’t. The intoxicated me doesn’t really think,” I joked. Her plump lips tugged upward.
“Yeah, I can agree with that.”
I turned around and leisurely leaned my back against the railing, watching the milling people walk about instead. “You know, before we left, Gia said she’d talk to Charles for me – tell him not to say anything and all. But the thing is – I don’t know if I want him to keep quiet.”
Leah quirked a brow, intrigued. “That’s a first.”
“I know, right? It would’ve been crazy to me a few weeks ago, but now… I just want to not care about any of this shit,” I groaned as I let my head fall back to gaze up at the bright, cloudless sky. “But I do care. I care about what my parents think, and my teammates. Those people - I want to tell, myself. The rest – fuck ‘em.”
Leah giggled at the sudden crassness to my behaviour. I myself was surprised by how carefree I was about all this, despite the fear that cropped up every time I thought about telling the people I cared about. I kinda liked that this was how I was going about it.
As my girlfriend’s laughter died down, a sombre expression took over as it turned thoughtful. “There will be people like Sara who will not like it. Be prepared for that.”
At the mention of her ex-best friend, I sighed at the reminder of my own bad experience with Isabelle and her former friends. It wasn’t ever pleasant to think about them.
“Hey,” she said, taking my hand and stopping its fiddling with my shirt’s hem, “you’re not doing this alone. You have me there with you, and the others’ got your back, okay?”
The way she gently stroked my palm somehow eased my nerves. I smiled faintly and brought our intertwined hands up to my lips, placing a chaste kiss on the back of hers. “Okay.”
And with that, we fell into a comfortable silence, the only sounds coming from the laps of the waves below and the faint chatter of the other humans here. I turned back around and faced the ocean with Leah, our shoulders often brushing together as we stood close.
The gap in my memory from last night suddenly came to the forefront of my attention and I couldn’t stop myself from asking. “What did happen with Charles after I kissed you? That part is kind of fuzzy to me…”
The blonde beside me suddenly started sputtering out in laughter. “Oh my gosh, if I wasn’t so shocked at the time, I would’ve died laughing! His face was so damn priceless! He couldn’t say anything for like two minutes, and when he did, all he kept saying was ‘what?’, again and again. Gia dragged him away before he could say more, then she came back later to take us to her place. Your best friend couldn’t stop cursing you out the whole way back.”
I groaned jokingly. “That girl will be calling me soon to curse me out some more, I know it. She would’ve done it earlier if her mom hadn’t been there.”
“Speaking of Gia’s mom - when she said she was your favourite, she was wrong, right? It’s someone else, isn’t it,” my girlfriend hinted slyly. I gave her a flat look and she returned it with a casual shrug. “Okay, fine. If you don’t know, I’ll just go then.” With that, she started to leave my side, breaking skin contact and walking away teasingly.
Quickly, I grabbed her hand and pulled her right to me. She laughed cheekily. “Alright, you know you’re my favourite,” I conceded.
The blonde grinned victoriously, her bright hazel eyes shining with amusement as she planted a kiss on my cheek.
“Good girl.”
___________________
After leaving the pier, I dropped Leah off at her house and returned back to mine, sighing in relief as I dropped onto my soft-as-a-cloud mattress.
I fell into a nap and woke up around four in the afternoon. With a grunt, I got up and went about doing my chemistry homework, then history essay. As expected, Gia called when I started my paper, going on and on about last night and saying how much of a ‘dumbo’ I was. And she wasn’t talking about the elephant.
The fiery redhead let me go when my mom called us for dinner. I raced downstairs after I recognised the smell of lasagne floating in the air, comically licking my lips as I sat down at the table.
We started eating after everyone got here, Dad starting up a conversation about how his day went. Addison excitedly brought up the play we watched yesterday, and Mom and I chipped in to mention some of the more notable parts.
Through the whole of dinner, I couldn’t stop my mind from drifting to the conversation I had with Leah.
I said I wanted to tell my parents myself, but at this very moment, I couldn’t get my mouth to say the words. It was easy enough to do yesterday at the party - but now, as expected, I was clamming up.
Every time I opened my mouth to say the three little words, a ball would suddenly appear to clog up my throat. An airy breath leaves my mouth in its place instead.
Dinner passes with no confessions given. I resorted to telling myself that tomorrow would be different.
Right after this run, I’ll go and tell them, I thought, trying to convince myself to do it. I had this urge that pushed me into wanting to tell them soon, but this fear I’ve had for years was giving me a hard time doing just that.
I slowed to a walk when I arrived in front of my house and made my way inside. After recalling the fact that Addy and my dad left to go practise soccer on the nearby field, I set out to find my mom. A quick scan around revealed that the living room and kitchen were empty. I doubled back and turned a corner at the stairs, going down the hallway and coming up to a room I knew my mom would be in.
Softly knocking on the mahogany door, I twisted the knob and opened it to reveal the woman sitting behind a large desk, typing away on her laptop. I cleared my throat loudly and it did the job in capturing her attention.
“Alyssa, hi. How was your run?” Mom asked as she took off the glasses resting low on her nose.
“Good. My ankle doesn’t hurt at all anymore, so no need to worry about that.”
“That’s great! Just in time for the finals next week, huh? You excited or nervous?
“Mostly excited,” I answered weakly as I played with my fingers. Gulping heavily, I gathered myself to say it. “Mom, I-”
“Yes?” she prompted when I stopped mid-sentence. “What is it, hon?”
Suddenly, my throat constricted the tightest I’d ever felt. My heart raced so fast and hard in my chest that I could hear it in my ears. I looked at the woman in front of me - someone I looked so similar to. Her azure blues looked deeply into mine with curiosity, analysing my form and expression to navigate the problem with her motherly instincts.
I held her gaze for a few more seconds before shaking my head. “Nothing, mom. Just- um, are you going to be there on Friday?”
“Of course! I can’t miss seeing my daughter win as captain in her last year here.”
I nodded and put on a strained smile before leaving the room.
Turns out I was lying to myself. Today was no different.
A/N
Hey y'all! Hope you liked it! Not much happened in this one but it gives us a look into where Aly's head is at in all this and her struggle with that fear.
We're closing into the end soon, and damn I'm excited!
Till next time