AN:
Description: A rewritten version of the first oneshot in this book!
TW: Mentions of self harm (I don't actually self harm (my demons lie elsewhere) so please let me know if this is wrong at any point)
. . . .
On a stormy night in the middle of winter, Em sat in her living room drawing. It was getting late and Em was getting sleepy. Her mother had already retreated to her room so she was left alone.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang and Em jumped at the sudden noise.
She stumbled to her feet and made her way to the door. She could see two dark figures on the other side of the glass. Terrified, she grabbed one of the umbrellas just in case.
"It's almost 11 at night, there's no way they're going to answer," Em heard a male voice say on the other side of the door.
"Well, what do you suggest we do?" Another voice responded. The voices sounded so familiar but she was too freaked out to place them.
Em pulled the door open, clutching the umbrella with her other hand. She gasped and dropped the umbrella, noticing it was Dan and Phil. Her mind blanked and she suddenly forgot English. "You- you're- ah- um-" she muttered.
"Hi, I'm-"
"Dan and Phil!" she squeaked.
"Yeah. Hi. Do you know us?" Dan asked.
"I'm a big fan," Em muttered with a blush. "I'm Em. What are you doing here? I mean, um, not New York because that kind of makes sense but, like, my house." Em ran a hand through her hair nervously.
"Our rental car broke down and our phones are dead. Could we use your phone to call a tow truck or a cab or something?" Phil asked.
Em's eyes widened, "Oh, yeah! Where are my manners? I'm so sorry, you two must be cold. Come in." Em closed the door behind them and ushered them into the living room with a nervous smile. "I'll get you some towels and figure out where I left my phone. Just one second."
Em dashed down the hall and pushed open the door to her mother's room. "Hey, Mom. Dan and Phil from Youtube are here and they're borrowing my phone. Can they hang out for a while? Kthxbye!" Em said quickly. She moved to shut the door again before her mom could process what she'd said.
"Emily Kate! Don't you shut that door. What did you just say?" Her mother asked.
. . . .
Dan and Phil awkwardly stood in the cozy living room. They were both shivering slightly as they observed the room.
A laptop sat on the armrest of the couch with earbuds plugged into it. On the screen was a picture of their old logo from their shop. On one of the cushions, a sketch book was laying with several colored pencils scattered around it. Dan and Phil were drawn on the page of the sketchbook with what looked like an updated version of their logo drawn with them. While the picture was lined, the sketch lines hadn't been erased.
"Okay, I'm back. My mom had some questions," Em said as she entered the room. She gave them both a towel. "Oh! Here's my phone."
"Thank you," Phil said, nodding slightly as he grabbed the unlocked phone. He quickly looked up the number to the nearest mechanic and called the number.
"Oh! Have you eaten dinner? Maybe I can get you something while the mechanic is on the way?" Em suggested to Dan, definitely hiding her nervousness with mothering.
"Oh, we wouldn't want to intrude. We'll just eat something later," Dan said.
"No! I insist! It's the least I can do. Also we just had dinner and I haven't put up the food yet," Em said.
"Well, I suppose, in that case," Dan said. "Thank you."
"Okay sounds great. See you then," Phil said tiredly into the phone before hanging up and handing it back to Em. "The mechanic can't be here until morning."
"Well, you can always stay the night. We have a guest room," Em offered.
"Thank you, Em that would be wonderful," Dan said.
"What about dinner?" Phil said to Dan worriedly.
"We already spoke about you eating dinner here anyway," Em stated, guiding the two into the kitchen.
"Thank you, Em," Phil said. They sat down at the table as Em warmed the food back up. "It's no Delia Smith," Em joked as she passed them the food.
"You're surprisingly calm, Em. Well despite the stuttering at first," Dan commented.
"Well, I guess, I just don't want to freak you guys out. Its basic decency to treat you like you're human," Em said with a smile.
"Truth!" Phil responded, shoveling pancake into his mouth.
"Oh, by the way, I liked your drawing," Dan said pleasantly.
Em blushed fervently. "Thanks."
"What drawing?" Phil said.
"I'll go get it," Em suggested. She turned to walk away but soon regretted it. As soon as they were out of earshot and eyesight, she began shaking violently. "Calm down," she muttered to herself. "Don't act so weird. They're just humans like you."
Not true, said the little voice in the back of her head. You're nothing like them. You're worthless.
Tears welled in her eyes.
They're going to hate you when they find out just how worthless and stupid you are, the voice continued.
"No, no," She muttered, squeezing her eyes shut. Subconsciously her feet began to move in a different direction, not to the living room but to the bathroom. The voice continued as she suddenly found herself in front of the bathroom sink.
"No!" She yelled, slamming her hands onto the counter. "I won't! I'm clean!"
. . . .
When Dan and Phil heard Em yell, they jumped to their feet and immediately ran to the bathroom where they found Em digging around under the sink.
"No! No! Where is it?!" Em said, sounding crazed.
"Em?" Dan asked, kneeling next to the girl. "What are you looking for?"
Em sat back on her feet, fully crying now. "Where is it?! It was right here!"
Em's mother (Dan and Phil assumed) suddenly appeared behind Dan and Phil with a soft look on her face, "I threw it out, Em."
Em cried even harder at this news. "Why?!"
"Because you don't need it. You lasted two weeks and this one set back is not going to ruin this for you," Em's mother responded.
Em cried even harder, hugging herself tightly.
"What are you talking about?" Phil asked.
Em's mother shook her head and pushed between the men to put one hand on Em's shoulder. "You can do this."
"I'm sorry," Em blubbered. "I'm so sorry."
"There's nothing to be sorry about," Em's mother said softly. "Why don't you two go into the other room while Em calms down?"
Dan nodded and the two returned to the kitchen to finish their dinner. The room's atmosphere was much sadder this time, though.
It was only about ten minutes before Em returned, her face much redder than before. "Sorry about that," she muttered sadly.
"That's okay," Dan said. "You don't have to explain anything to us."
"No, you both deserve an explanation." Em sighed a little before starting to explain. "I was, um, looking for my razor," Em began slowly. "I'm two weeks clean and I almost- I almost threw it all away." Her eyes began to water again. "Anyway, I just wanted to thank you two. For your concern and... and for saving me."
Dan and Phil both tilted their heads to the side a little out of confusion.
"I was thinking of, um, leaving a while back and you two had so many quotes and happy videos that reminded me of the great friendships that I already had. It encouraged me to stay. You two made me smile when no one else could. Your community has so many wonderful people in it and I've made so many wonderful friends through it who I can relate to as well and they're the ones who actually encouraged me to quit. So, thank you. I guess being a fangirl isn't so awful. It did save my life," Em said, with a small smile.
Dan smiled and wrapped an arm around Em's shoulders and Phil grabbed her hand. "Show you're fangirl, Emmy. It could save others lives too."
. . . .
AN:
Woah! Finally, am I right?! I finally wrote this version of Hide Your Fangirl, Emmy.
Some updates, I guess:
I'm 19 now! (Can't remember if I've updated since my birthday whoops)
My hair is completely blue now! I dyed it just last night!
Um... I guess that's it. My life hasn't changed too much due because I was already taking my college classes online.
Now! Serious time...
I'm considering ending this book here... Unless of course you would all like a little bonus chapter about Em, Alice, Dan, and Phil just relaxing at a coffee shop or something. Comment your opinion, I guess. If we decide to do a final chapter, it might be a little bit but, if not, I'll just mark the story as completed and do a little update on this chapter. (I won't be offended if you want this to just end here!)
"We are all lovely in our own ways!" ~Jessie Paege
I love you all so much! Even if I'm not continuing this book! You can always come to me to talk! I'm basically an open book at this point! I definitely still love all of you and all of your comments and stuff!
~Nerdie