Korea.
"I like this Lil boy look you got going today, Ma." Julio swallowed the food in his mouth, complimenting me. "Sexy as fuck." He winked at me.
"You do look extra cute Mommy." Cali backed him up giving me her approval as well.
"Thank you." She licked syrup from around her mouth, holding her butter knife and fork in her hands.
We were out for Breakfast at IHOP, but I wasn't feeling too hungry. Instead I was feeling nauseous and achy.
Julio and Cali's forks clacked against their plates as I helped Cari with her mini pancakes and sausage. "There you go, Baby." I cut up the last of her sausage so she could chew it better. "Eat your fruit as well." I pushed the small dish closer to her.
"Daddy can you take me to get my nails done later?" Cali hugged her Daddy's arm, looking in his face with hopeful eyes. "Pleaseeee?" She still was only getting her nails painted but I promised her for her tenth birthday I would allow her to get her first set of acrylics. My baby would be turning ten in a few short months and we were beginning to plan her party. She wanted a trampoline party and of course her Mommy was going to deliver; and it was a pretty simple theme.
"Why you can't ask your Mama?" Julio stuffed his mouth. He had Blueberry Pancakes, French Toast, a Cheeseburger and Fries, and a plate of Bacon.
"Mommy hasn't been feeling good and she's not eating so that means she's not feeling good today either." Cali told him. "Remember you said we don't need to bother her?"
"She ain't been feeling good a lot lately." Julio looked at me intently. "Been drinking like a Fish though— bet not be drinking with my baby in you."
"Mommy you're having a baby?" Cali gasped, clapping her hands excitedly before I could tell her no. "I'm so excited! Am I gonna have another little sister or a baby brother? I hope a boy because I already have Cari."
"Julio" I could've cursed him out. "Why would you say that?"
"Because you are." He was so sure. "As soon as we get home I'm hiding all those Wine bottles." I had been drinking a lot lately. There wasn't much else for me to do. I was taking some time off from photo shoots due to feeling burnt out, so I had been a stay at home mom for a little over a month now. It all worked out since Cali just started Summer break and I let Cari stay at home with us majority of the weekdays instead of going to the Church Daycare.
Julio was loving every minute of it and although I knew I would eventually miss my financial independence, it felt good to know he had me covered with no complaints.
"It's no way you not pregnant by now, Korea." We had been having so much sex— every day at least once in the mornings, throughout the day, and we really got it in when the girls went to bed at night.
Of course since I was home that meant Julio was home a lot more too. He managed his schedule well and we spent a lot of family time together.
"I'm sure it's just stress, Julio." I took a bite of my hash browns against my body's will.
He sighed, mixing his food around on his plate. "I been told you to stop worrying about that shit, Ma. Cali, put your headphones in."
She covered her mouth as she chewed. "Yes sir" He waited until she had her pink headphones in her ears to start back up our conversation.
"I know you looking for your thing, something that you'll make money from that you'll enjoy doing forever. I know Ma and that's the cause of your drinking, but you can't stress about it."
"It's hard not to." I graduated college and had my degree in Biology, but I realized I didn't want to do anything pertaining to what I had went to school for four years for. Then I started modeling and I loved it for a couple years, but now I didn't even wanna stand in front of anybody's camera.
Montana and I still had a work relationship so of course I had to fill him in on where I was in my life. He understood and wished me the best, but he still had to make his money and if I wasn't in the mood to model then I couldn't be his Muse anymore; which also added emotion to my plate. He told me my position would be available when I was ready to get back to work, but I honestly didn't think that time would ever come around again for modeling.
"Whatever you wanna do, I'm gonna support you." He reminded me he was in my corner all the time.
"I'm gonna go to the bathroom." I was feeling super emotional and I didn't want him or my daughters worried more than they already were.
I preferred to deal with my emotions in private, on my own without anybody holding my hand. I never wanted to bring the next person down and I actually felt weaker when I couldn't handle my problems myself.
I had a quick breakdown in the restroom stall before I washed my hands and returned back to the table. Our Waiter had cleared all of our plates. Julio had already packed my To-Go box and him, Cali, and I had To-Go drinks as well.
"You straight?" He stood from the table so Cali could get out of the Booth. He placed his hand on the small of my back. "What can I do?"
"You're doing enough already." I kissed the corner of his lips, assuring him I was fine and that we could leave.
"You sure?"
"Yes, you put down his tip already?" I looked over the table seeing nothing but the receipt.
"Nah but I'm bout to after I grab Cari."
"I got it." I started digging through my purse for my wallet.
"I'm bout to handle it, put your shit back in your purse." He mugged me. Julio never ever let me pay for anything even if I wanted to buy something for him. "You not working and tryna pay for something. What's wrong with you?"
I laughed a little "Ok ok, I'm sorry." I took Cari from him as she reached for me.
We dropped Cali off with Nicole at her Spa so she could get her nails done before we headed to my Apartment. Julio put Cari down for a nap while I laid down and went to sleep myself.
"You feeling any better?" I woke up to Julio rubbing on me. "Hungry yet?"
I stretched, rubbing the last of my sleep out of my eyes. "A little bit, what time is it?" I accepted his loving, allowing his hands to wonder wherever he wanted them to.
"Four o'clock on the dot."
"Cali still gone?" She would spend her nights at the Spa if Nicole let her.
"Hell yeah she still gone. I bet she gone be calling asking if she can spend the night with Nicole when six rolls around." He lightly smacked my butt a few times, wiggling my cheeks in his hand. "Baby girl gone too."
"Who came and took my baby?"
"Nobody. I dropped her bad ass off with her Nanny and that skunk she got for a Husband." I laughed covering my mouth with my free hand as I used the other to caress his ear. "I can't wait until it's the right time to kill that old man."
"When will you get enough of messing with my friend?" I loved Mr. Lenard, he was the sweet PaPa that everybody needed. He was the best cook, he always made sure we all felt his love and positive energy, and he was quite the character once he got comfortable with you.
Julio was just stubborn and hated the fact that his Mom was married to a man he had done a job for in the past.
"That's not your fucking friend." He got serious so fast. "That nigga ain't a friend to nobody." He mumbled as I got up to go relieve my blatter. "You said you are hungry?" He asked again.
"What do you want me to cook for you?" I knew the only reason he was asking me was because he was the one hungry and wanted me to make him something. "I'll just eat my leftovers."
"See the thing about that, I ate your shit like an hour after you went to sleep. I'm sorry, Ma." He apologized while I rolled my eyes at him. "That shit was good too."
I went into the kitchen with him following behind. "Can you make some Spaghetti?"
"Sure" I opened the refrigerator door, getting out the ground beef. "Corn and garlic bread?"
"You know those the staple sides." He was right about that. "I went to Target and got you these." I heard him shuffling a plastic bag around.
I faced him seeing several pregnancy test lined up on the Island. I giggled to myself "Julio, I'm not taking those."
"Korea-"
"Not yet at least." I shrugged my shoulders looking around. We made eye contact causing me to turn back around to the stove. I bent over, getting two pots out the cabinet. "You're automaticity jumping to conclusions when my cycle hasn't come yet. It doesn't come for another week or so, so please just relax and stop thinking I'm pregnant."
He wanted a Son more than he wanted anything and I knew that and we were trying for a baby, but I wasn't in a rush for it to happen. A few more months to a year down the line would be perfectly fine with me.
"Maybe we should-"
"I know damn well you ain't bout to stay we should start back using condoms." He was so attentive he could read my mind sometimes. I was completely off my birth control at this point so condoms were our only protection. "Korea we just started trying and now you backing out already? For what?" He raised his voice. "You scared?"
"We're not ready and I didn't know you wanted it to happen as fast as you do." I filled my tall pot with water and got my spaghetti noodles out the pantry.
"The fuck you mean you didn't know?" I dropped my head, sighing. "I been talking bout having a Son with you since before we found out you were pregnant with Cari! We had this talk multiple times just to makes sure you were ready and now you tryna back out!"
"I'm not gonna keep talking to you if you keep yelling."
He took a few seconds to collect himself. "Alright, I'm sorry for raising my voice I'm just really passionate about this shit."
"I know"
"I want my Boy and I think every man deserves to have a Son— I'm a Gangsta, who I'm suppose to pass all this shit down to? Cali too girly and Cari a lil thug but I don't want my daughter in the streets."
"I know all of that as well, Julio."
"I'm not trying to pressure you."
"You're not, I simply just don't feel like right now is the best time." I got a onion, bell-pepper, and my jar of minced garlic out the fridge.
"Why not?" He sounded so cut down and disappointed. "What changed?"
"For one we haven't even found a House-"
"We did find a House that we both fucked with."
"It's not ours."
"Because you haven't completely made your mind up yet. It's perfect for us, you said so yourself so at this point you just wasting time. What else?"
"I want Cari to be a little bit older."
He scoffed "We waited until she got older to start trying. Now we trying and you still wanna wait? How old you want her to be? Fifteen?"
"I really don't appreciate your attitude." I chopped vegetables with my back to him. "We differ on a lot of things, but I never try to belittle your opinions and views even when I think it's stupid."
"Well you pissing me off with these bullshit ass excuses." Obviously he was beginning to get in his feelings because I didn't wanna do what he wanted. "First it's your place too small and my house got too many bad memories and you want baby girl to be older— ok, so we handle all of that and now we right back where we started! If you don't wanna have another one of my kids then speak up and say that shit!"
"I'm done talking to you until you can stop yelling." I didn't feel like arguing. I never felt like arguing and he knew that.
"Man" He smacked his lips, standing up from his stool. He stomped back into the kitchen with his keys making me turn my head to him. "I'll be back, I need some air." He slammed the door behind him, leaving me there wondering how that just happened.
He was only gone long enough for me to finish making my sauce and boiling the noodles. He reeked of weed, letting me now he just went to smoke in his car.
"I'm sorry, ok?" He said from behind me.
"It's nothing for you to apologize for, really." I wasn't mad nor upset with him. "And you didn't let me finish before you stormed out the way you did." I finally gave him my attention. "I also am not in the best personal space right now. I'm trying to figure some things out about myself and adding a baby to the picture right now will only cause me more stress than anything."
"But whyyy?" He whined. "You love staying at home with the girls."
"I do-"
"So why not make that a permanent thing? Just focus on being a Mother, that's all you gotta do and I got the rest. Why we can't do that?"
"Because that's not me, Julio." I took pride in being an Independent Woman. I got my first job at fourteen working at the Hotdog stand in the Mall. I stayed there until I turned eighteen then I started working at Lush. My Mom was an addict and my Dad was never around due to his drinking problems so I always had to take care of myself.
"I love that about you, but as my Woman and the Mother of my soon to be three children-"
"I'm not pregnant."
"You are, Ma."
"You're delusional." I started seasoning the ground beef. "You're really trying to convince yourself."
"That's you because I already know." He wasn't playing around. "You can look at me like that all you want to, but you pregnant."
"Whatever Julio"
"Why you think you been feeling so bad?"
"Ummm stress and borderline depression about what I want to do with my life."
Duh....
"Nah that's not it and you even got that pregnant face going on." He touched the bottom of his face as I laughed. "I'm foreal! You look exactly how you looked when we first found out we were having Cari. Your cheeks get fatter and so does around your jawline and around your chin; and your hips have spread too."
"You heard me?" He asked when I didn't say anything.
"Well why have you been sitting back, letting me drink then?"
"Not like you would listen and believe me."
"Yeah, but I don't want to talk about it until my cycle week comes and goes. If I don't get my period then we can talk about it." He made me nervous and now had me thinking he was right.
"Well I'll be ready next week to talk about it then."
***********
*Week Later*
Julio 🥰👨👩👧👧- 🤰🏾🤰🏾🤰🏾🤰🏾🤰🏾 11:03 a.m.
I sighed, avoiding rolling my eyes as I tucked my phone back into my purse. I could see Julio looking back at me from the pew he was sitting on. He was seated beside his Mom, Mr. Lenard, Mama Karen, and all the kids while the rest of us sat a row behind them.
"Pssss" I heard Julio trying to get my attention once the Pastor started Alter Prayer. We were suppose to be listening with our eyes closed and heads bowed, but of course he was doing the complete opposite.
"Psss!" He got louder.
"He better stop before Mama Yo put them hands on him." I heard Tae whisper causing Mila and Nicole to start giggling.
Nicole immediately covered her mouth beside me. "Lord forgive me please." She smacked her lips quietly. "See Tae, you got me laughing during Church."
"You know he gone pray until he can't no more, better do something."
"What's on the menu for Sunday Dinner?" Mila cupped her mouth as she leaned forward, whispering down at us.
"I don't know but they need to come on so I can leave." Tae restlessly moved around from side to side. "I'm bout to starve."
"You're hungry baby?" Nicole asked him. "I don't know why you didn't eat while I was getting the kids ready."
"You know exactly why I didn't eat that shit." He cursed but didn't notice and she didn't either. "We would've been late if I stopped somewhere."
"Nic is a really good cook and that Breakfast Casserole was too good. You should've tried at least one piece."
We all knew Tae would rather die of starvation than eat anything Nicholas Parker cooked for him. Nic didn't come to Church this Sunday and I was sure it was because Tae decided to come.
"I know all of y'all better be quiet before I get my belt." Mama Karen faced us with a sleeping Sunny on her shoulder. She pat her back, slightly bouncing her up and down. "Y'all know better."
"That's them Mama, I didn't even do nothing." Mila spoke up for herself. "Julio started it anyway."
He heard her and turned around. "Nigga-" Mama Yolanda pinched him before he could even get it out. We laughed while he viciously rubbed up and down his arm, trying to get the sting to stop.
"You can ride with one of them since you wanna gang up on me." Julio made me laugh as we walked side by side out the church. He held his hand out in front of me, stopping me from walking so close to him.
"Stop being such a baby." My laughing died down.
"Why you didn't text me back? I was blowing your shit up."
"Don't be texting me during Church."
"Aw whatever, Sermon wasn't bout shit today anyway." I gasped while he busted out laughing like he was just so funny. "Mannn, we all were thinking it! Decon Larry was up there sleep!"
"Yeah, I seen him dosing off." We laughed together as we walked towards the parking lot with everybody else.
"Mama what's on the Menu?" I heard Mila's loud mouth. Her, Tae, and Nicole stood behind Mama Yolanda's Mercedes-Benz GLC while she stood at her trunk, changing out of her Church heels into her black flats that she brought with her every Sunday.
"Well, Lenard just got his new Grill installed out on the Patio so I marinated some meat last night." She explained before she started telling us the Menu. "Barbecue Chicken, Ribs, and I got a little bit of Boudin left. Mac and Cheese, Potato Salad, Pasta Salad, Red Beans and Rice, Dressing, and Ima make a Homemade Double Chocolate Chip Cake."
"Did you say Dressing?" Tae's eyes almost popped out his head. "Aw hell yeah" He furrowed his brows with a happy expression on his face, rubbing his hands together.
"I made you your own personal pan too, Baby." She smiled at him, amused at his excitement over food.
"You always looking out for me, Mama."
"Wait wait wait" Julio shook his head dramatically. "You do always look out for him but what about me?" He asked her like we were all her children. "I'm your Son— your only Son."
"Oh hush up, Boy." I chuckled. "You know I made you your own too. I know both of y'all love my Dressing."
"What you contributing?" Tae turned to his Mom, putting all the attention onto her.
"More than you." She shot back at him causing us all to share a laugh. "All you bringing us is an empty stomach."
"Mama, what you cooking foreal?" He whined.
"I'm brining over some Salmon for Lenard to put on the grill."
"Come on, Nicole." Tae picked up both Taejin and Troi. "We gotta drive way to Arizona to go change clothes." He started for his Wraith that was parked a few spot over.
"I'm tired of you talking about how far out I live." She started walking behind him, carrying their Kids IPads, sippy-cups, and bags. "You should be used to the drive by now."
"Mommy can I go with Auntie and Uncle Tae?" Cali asked me quickly, not wanting them to leave before she had her answer. "Please please pleaseeee?"
"Did you ask you-"
"Daddy said he doesn't care and to ask you." She cut me off knowing what I was going to ask her.
"They're just going to her house to change then we're all meeting up at Nanny's House like we always do." I was trying to get her to understand there was no point in going with them if we all were going to end up at the same destination.
"I know but please Mommy?" She asked me again. "I only seen Auntie house a couple times and I wanna go with her." She whined, hugging me as she stared up at me with her lip poked out. "Can I? Please Mommy?"
"If she says it's ok." I noticed Tae about to pull off. "You better hurry up and go see." I nodded my head towards his car, showing her they were about to leave.
She took off running towards Tae's driver side. I watched him let down the window and them talk briefly before she opened the backseat door. She waved her hand above her head at me. "Bye Mommy, Bye Daddy! Love you!" She yelled with a smile on her face before she disappeared into the car, closing the door behind her while Tae sped off.
We went straight home to change as well. My girls were dressed pretty casual, but I had to change out of my dress and heels.
I hummed to myself as I switched my purses out, putting all of my necessities into my gray Gucci bag. "You ready pregnant lady?" Julio came into my bedroom with some hot chips in his hand. He smacked, tossing more into his mouth. "You looking good per usual."
"Thank you and stop calling me pregnant." I went into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.
"What's the matter? You gotta shit?"
"No Julio"
"Then what you shutting doors for?" He asked from the other side. "I didn't mean to make you mad if I did. It was just a joke."
"Is your Daughter ready? Did you change her sandals like I asked?" I changed the subject as I knelt down, looking in the cabinets underneath the sink.
"Oh shit, I forgot." He chuckled a little bit. "I'm bout to go do that now. Which ones you want her to wear again?"
"The rose gold ones." I answered him as I stared down at the pregnancy test in my hands. Another week had passed yet my cycle still hadn't come. Although I was dreading taking a test, I needed to know whether I was pregnant or not and I wanted Julio to stop worrying me about it already.
I pushed my negative thoughts to the back of my brain, stuffing the bulky box in my bag before leaving the bathroom. I turned off the lights and made my way into the living room where Julio and Cari were waiting for me.
She was sitting on his lap with her eyes glued to the tv holding a half eaten piece of half of a Banana in her hand. She rested against his chest while he rubbed her stomach in a soothing manner.
"You look so pretty, Mommy." I picked her up from his lap, kissing her cheek being careful not to get my lipstick on her. "Kiss?"
She lightly kissed my lips, looking at the tv behind me. She had on the exact same romper as Cali, but I put a denim vest over hers. I had her hair styled in plats with different shades of pink bows and barrettes all over. She had on her little gold bracelets with the matching earrings that Mama Karen had gifted all of the girls.
"Nana, Daddy?" She stuffed the last of Banana in her mouth, looking for Julio to have her other half ready and waiting for her.
"Don't stuff your mouth Pootie." I wiped Banana from the side of her mouth with my thumb.
"You want the other half? Here." He pealed it for her before letting her take it from his hand.
"Tank you Daddy." I smiled at her cuteness.
"You ready to go see Troi Troi?" She nodded her head quickly.
"Play, play, play " She kept repeating as we left out of my Apartment. I handed her over to Julio so I could lock my front door. "Mhm, y'all get to play on the Playground at Nanny and PaPa's House."
Mama Yolanda called us on our way and asked us to get some drinks, we stopped by Walmart before heading over. Since Mr. Lenard was grilling and the kids would be outside anyway, she decided to have the entire Sunday Dinner out on her patio deck.
It was hot out, but the wind was blowing and they had the fans going so it wasn't too bad. "What did I say Troi?" Nicole stood from her seat with her hands on her hips. "Do not climb up that slide!"
I looked over my shoulder seeing her doing exactly what her Mama had just said not to do. "Ouu this little girl loves to test me." Nicole walked through the small space between the couches, making her way towards the slide where Troi was.
Troi seen her coming and tried to back away but Nicole popped her before she could take off. She dramatically laid down in the grass like Nicole had assaulted her, kicking her legs at her Mama.
What would've been just a pop on the thigh turned into a full blown whooping and I didn't blame Nicole. Troi was a fire cracker and Tae made it worse with the way he babied her. "Stand up!" Nicole jerked her up, holding her by her arm as Troi cried, throwing a fit. She kept trying to jerk away from Nicole causing her to pop her legs again. "You want another one?" She held her face in her hand, looking her directly in the eye.
"No, Mommy." Troi cried putting her hand in her mouth. "Wanna play" She held a pout on her face as she messed with her hair, pointing to where Cari and her brother were playing.
"No" She began crying harder and louder. "All you had to do was listen to Mommy and not climb the slide, but you didn't and because of that you got a whooping and you not playing until I say so." She explained to her. "Go sit" She snapped her fingers, pointing to where I was. "Go sit by your KoKo."
Troi cried loudly all the way to me, holding her arms out for me to pick her up. "You gotta listen to your Mama, Big Girl." I rubbed my fingers through her curls while she straddled me, holding me behind my arms with her head resting on my chest.
The girls were turning two soon and we definitely were able to tell. Terrible Two's were already in effect for both of them. Besides marking up my walls, ruining toilet paper, and destroying her sister's things— Cari was a princess.
Just Nicole and I were sitting outside with Mr. Lenard while he grilled and the kids played. Mila was in the garage smoking with the guys and Mama Karen was in the kitchen helping out with the sides.
"You ever miss any of our old friends?" Nicole asked out of the blue. "I mean like, from high school?"
"No" I laughed it off. I honestly didn't and I always knew it would be just Nicole and I once we graduated anyway. There were originally five of us, but I was only close to Nicole since I met the other three through her. I didn't come from money— the few family members that I knew as a child didn't either so I had it bad in middle school and high school. Kids bullied me and I never found the strength to stand up for myself.
Nicole and I were both born and raised in Chicago and we went to school together all of our lives. I was one of those quiet kids that kept my head in the books and went straight home after school so we never ran in the same circles; but I would always see her in the halls and in 7th grade we had English class together. I wouldn't say I envied her when we were younger, but I definitely wanted what she had. I remember her coming to school always looking her best. She had all the designer clothes and shoes, kept her hair done, and she even wore a different designer backpack to school every single day. She treated her backpacks like she did her Chanel bags now. Every girl wanted to be her friend and every guy wanted a chance with her. She had it all and on top of that she was top ten in our class.
I, on the other hand, had to pray my bus would make it to school on time in the mornings just so I could eat Breakfast. There was no such thing as designer anything in my House. I'd be lucky if my Dad cared enough to take me thrifting the Sunday night before Summer vacation ended; otherwise, I'd wear the same clothes I'd worn the school year before and the one before that. Thankfully I always had long pretty hair so I use to only wear it in ponytails and high buns. I used the same old backpack until I started working to buy myself another one, and majority of the time I wore flip-flops to school since they were the only shoes that didn't create holes.
I didn't have anything in a school that had everybody with everything so I stuck out like a sore thumb. I simply tried my best to just float through the system but I caught hell every year.
One day during our Sophomore year of high school some stupid guy knocked me and my bag down in the hallway, showing out in front of his friends. Nicole came to my defense and humiliated him in front of everybody. He challenged her, and at the time Nicholas and Taelor were reigning with power— just her mentioning their names had him apologizing to both of us and offering to buy me lunch to make up for knocking me to the ground.
I ate my free lunch with her that day and she introduced me to her friends who soon became my friends as well. Ciara was one of them but she moved when we were Juniors. Then there was Klaire, whom still lived in Chicago but we simply grew apart once we graduated. Lastly, Naomi— the perfect girl who thought she was better than all of us. She went to a Private College somewhere in Illinois the weekend after graduation and we hadn't heard from her since.
Nicole and I instantly were stuck to one another like glue. She took me under her wing and by the next week, I wasn't being bullied anymore. I wasn't worried about my appearance anymore, and I no longer had to worry about getting to school early enough to eat Breakfast in the mornings. Eventually, I told her about my situation with alcoholic Father and she begged Nic to let me move in with them. We were fifteen at the time so I had my job and made my own money but Nicole helped me out a lot. She was in driving school so Nic taught us both to drive at the house and we stayed in the streets when he bought her first car.
"Somebody must've reached out to you." I was sure that was the only reason she asked. "Which one?" It couldn't have been Ciara. The last time we seen her, she was throwing sweet tea in Nicole's face at Cheddars.
"Klaire" I had a feeling it was her. "She dm'd me on Instagram, told me she read about my Spa in a magazine."
"And what about it?" I wanted to make sure she didn't have any tricks up her sleeve. Klaire was always so sneaky in school.
"Nothing, she just said congratulations and that she would love to see us soon." She looked over at me. "I'm not against it. What do you think?"
"I guess it would be ok to catch up." I thought about it. We didn't fall off on bad terms so there was no reason for me not to go. "Out for Dinner or Drinks?"
"Well since we were talking about my Spa, why not just have a girls days? You know I'm closed on every third Thursday out the month, so we could do it then. She can meet Mila too."
"Oh Lord"
"Don't do my friend like that." She laughed. "Mila will tell her like it is and you know she gone let us know if the bitch still fake like she was in school or not."
"Yeah you're right." I agreed with her. "What else she say?"
"That's it but I got her number and I told her I would start a group chat between us if you were up for it."
"Ok, it wouldn't hurt to talk to Klaire." All our of high school memories came rushing to me. "Remember when we went to Fort High's basketball game all dressed alike?" I laughed covering my mouth.
Nicole laughed, tilting her head back against the couch. "A mess! Girl, we were so lame!" She laughed, tucking her feet up under her. "I wish I still had the pictures."
"You couldn't tell us nothing."
"Not a thing!" She backed me up.
"Is the food done yet?" We turned around, hearing somebody slide the patio door open. Tae came outside going over to Mr. Lenard. "What's taking you so long old man?"
Nicole smacked lips, shaking her head with a smirk on her face. "Hungry ass"
"You losing your touch?" We heard him ask making us laugh. Mr. Lenard wasn't paying him any mind. He had his old school music playing, not worried about nobody. "I smoked and everything and you still out here with this meat. You need my assistance?" Nicole and I listened in on their conversation as they played around with one another.
"Tae, leave him alone!" Nicole fussed, wanting him to mess with her instead. She thought she was slick. She couldn't stand being in the same space as him without his attention.
"I'm hungry, Bae." He knocked on the Grill countertop playing out whatever beat had come to his mind.
"That's nobody's fault but yours."
"Where is Nic at anyway?" I didn't see his Tesla outside and I hadn't seen him inside when I walked through the house.
"Up Lexi's ass" Her response told me to leave it alone unless she said something else about it.
Tae came and sat beside us, looking at Troi as she slept on me. She had cried and whined herself to sleep. "Why she not playing?"
"Because she got in trouble." Nicole wiped the side of his face. "She got a whooping too."
"You whooped her?" He sounded like his feelings were hurt. "What the fuck you whoop her for Bae?" He scoffed.
"I told her multiple times not to climb the slide and she did it anyway, because that what Troi does and you got her that way. She think she can do whatever she wants and don't gotta listen to nobody."
"She listens to me."
"I'd listen to the fun parent too, especially if I know ima get my way regardless."
"There you go with that fun parent, boring parent bullshit." I laughed, pressing my nails against my forehead. "You whooped her for climbing up the slide? That's what kids do, Nicole."
"And there you go always wanting me to explain what I do with our daughter. I told her not to climb the slide, she did so I whooped her. Get over it."
"When she wake up she probably won't even want to play because you traumatized her." We couldn't help but to laugh at him and his facial expressions.
I loved the love he had for Troi, but she literally could get away with anything and he thought it was fine because she was his baby girl.
"She won't be playing anyway."
"Why not?"
"Not until I say so."
"You think that's fair?" He bucked his eyes at her. "She already cried herself to sleep, Nicole."
"Good" She gave him a closed mouth smile. "She'll know better next time."
"You get on my nerves man." He stood to his feet. "Bring her to me when she wake up, Korea."
I giggled "Ok"
Once the meat was done, Mama Yolanda and Mama Karen brought all the sides and the cake outside. Julio and Marcus set out the table for the kids while the rest of us got in line to make our plates.
"Look at him tryna help build the table like he a real man." Mila spoke with disgust in her voice. "Ole weak ass makes me sick." Whenever Marcus was around he was all she talked about. "Why he think he can come on the regular now anyway? Tae, your Mama told him he can come every Sunday?" She asked from behind me in line.
"Nigga I don't know and why does it matter? That man can come get him a plate."
"Fuck that." She spat. "You rather be friends with him than me anyway huh?"
"No, I just want you both to shut the hell up." He piled meat onto his plate, laying out two more for Taejin and Troi. "Y'all blew my high already and we smoking later on so don't come in the garage with that arguing and shit."
"I wouldn't have anything to say if he didn't come around. You can come eat Sunday Dinner but where are you all the other days out the week when your daughter needs you?"
I felt the hurt from her question in my soul. I helped her out with Sunny as much as possible, but my own kids pulled me in so many different directions that I didn't have much time for anybody else's.
"Put that ass on Child Support and be done with it." Nicole angrily made her plate. "I been told you that but do you listen to anybody? No! Yet all we hear is you complaining."
Tae quickly finished making him and the kids plates and walked off, not caring to hear where the conversation was headed.
"How much Rayvon make? Maybe him and that Blue-haired Bottom can compensate me."
"See that's what I'm not about to let happen. I will not let you drag Ray into the situation like he knows Byron is sleeping with Marcus behind his back. Ray is a sweetheart, he's too sweet for you to do him like that." Nicole scooped Red Beans onto her plate. "Hell no, Mila."
"When do you plan on telling him then?" Mila asked over me while I made my plate in between them. "Since he's so sweet— you've known for a while now and still haven't said anything."
"It's YOUR life, YOU fill him in where he's left out." Nicole said. "I can't bring myself to break his heart like that and it's not my story to tell. I shouldn't have to anyway being that you're always at my Spa."
"Whatever Nicole"
"You can't get mad at me."
"I'm not"
"Yeah ok"
While everybody was eating, I snuck into the House and went upstairs to the bathroom. I knew I had only a few minutes before Julio or Cali came looking for me, so I wasted no time ripping the box open.
I looked in the mirror at myself as I washed my hands, trying to ease my nerves. Not that it happened often, but I got so nervous whenever I took a pregnancy test or even suspected I could be pregnant. My mind went back to my miscarriage and I just never wanted that to happen to me again.
I took a deep breath before flipping the test over, revealing the results.
Not pregnant... read across the screen in bold black letter. Instant relief came over me but sorrow followed since I knew Julio would be extremely disappointed.
This was what I wanted but for him it would be taking a loss.
"I was looking for you. Where you ran off to?" He was standing by the patio door, waiting for me with a chunk of cake on his plate. He licked chocolate sauce from his lips, staring into my face while he scooped more cake into his mouth.
"Bathroom. I need to talk to you." A smile broke out on his face causing my heart to break a little for him. I took his hand and led him into the House. "I'm not pregnant." I wanted to go ahead and get it out the way.
"What?" His face fell. "Ho-"
"That's where I disappeared to. I went upstairs to take a test." He looked so confused. "I brought one from Home."
"Why you didn't say nothing, Ma? You know I wanted to be apart of the whole process."
"Because of the look that's on your face right now. I didn't want you to be in the Bathroom with me all excited and stuff just to be let down."
He sat his cake down on the coffee table, pulling up his shorts. He sighed "So you're not pregnant?" He asked for clarification. "You're not pregnant?"
"No, I'm not Julio." His face fell even more. "I'm sorry." I told him as he walked over to the couch with his head hung. He sat down and threw his arm over his face, covering his eyes.
"Fuck" He let out a deep sigh. "Don't be sorry, Ma." He said. "It's not your fault and Ima be fine. I'm just a little sad, that's all."
"God's timing and now that we know I'm not, I can really start figuring out what I want to do with my life." I sat down on his leg, taking his arm off his face and putting it around me instead. "I know you're upset and I'm upset for you, but it will happen."
"You not upset for yourself?" He looked at me funny.
"Not really" I told him the truth. "I already said I wanted to wait a little longer." He tapped my leg for me to get up. "Ju-"
"Tell Tae to meet me in the garage when he finished eating." He left the living room without another word.
I knew it was because I spoke my truth, but I didn't care. I wasn't gonna lie to keep him happy— not now and not ever.
As the night went on, Nic and Lexi came. Everybody was as welcoming as we could be besides Nicole. She mugged the girl the entire time. She made both Lexi and Nic so uncomfortable that they didn't even stick around an hour before Nic was making plates for them to take with them.
He upset Nicole by telling her he wasn't coming home for the next few days so she ended up going home early to sulk in her sadness by herself. Tae of course got mad and left right behind her to make sure she would be alright. Once Tae left, Julio was ready to leave so we left right after he did.
"Are you gonna hold a grudge the entire drive?" I glanced over at Julio. He gripped the wheel with one hand and kept raking through his beard with the other one.
"I'm just thinking, Korea."
"My truth is my truth." I reminded him of something I had to remind him of more than I liked to. "Did you want me to lie? I won't."
"I want you to drop it because we obviously not where I thought we were in this relationship." He turned into a gas station I had never been to. "Can you just go pay for the gas?" He handed me a fifty.
We held eye contact as I slowly took off my seatbelt. "Mommy can you get me some sour straws?" Cali asked, ending the awkwardness. "Blue kind"
"No, Cali." We had just come from eating. "You had three pieces of cake already."
She folded her arms across her chest with a pout on her face but I didn't care. I climbed out the passenger seat, taking my time walking across the street since no cars were coming.
"Nope Fiona, you always come in here with no money." I heard the cashier tell a lady as I walked into the store. The bell went off causing them both to look my way.
"Hi, fifty on pump eight." I smiled, sliding the money underneath the glass window.
"Ms. Lady can you buy me a cigarette please? I just want one." I heard the woman, whom I assumed name was Fiona ask me.
"Fiona, don't be in here harassing my customers."
"I'm not Stell, I'm not! I know her." I turned to face her immediately seeing our resemblance. "You know me too, don't you?" She tried her best to smooth her hair down and fix her clothes as she became emotional.
I turned around, quickly hightailing it out of the store and back into Julio's Porsche. I began hyperventilating as tears ran down my face— I couldn't control myself. "Korea!" Julio shook me while Cali began to cry with me she was so worked up and worried.
"Mommy what's the matter?" She held onto my shoulder.
I cried into my hands, shaking my head. "I think I just seen my Mom."
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Hey! Hey! 🧡🧡🧡 I looovveeee Korea and I know a lot of y'all do too; so I want to start doing a lot more chapters from her perspective. What do y'all think? 👀 Also, I may start a book based on Korea and Julio. It's on my mind heavy for some reason 😫😩 but I'm not sure just yet.
Love you guys and thanks for reading! 🧡🥰😘😘😘😘