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LOCATION: CITADEL, GOLDEN CITY - WAKANDA
9: 50 PM - UNDERGROUND GYM
Despite feeling quite sore, Magna was excited about that night. So excited she'd arrived to the private training centre thirty minutes earlier. Getting there before her workout partner, she decided to properly stretch as she waited. The brunette was bent over, touching her toes when she heard thethe gym door open behind her. Not wanting her butt to greet whoever was walking in, she stood and faced the entrance.
Bucky stood by the doorway with a backpack hanging loosely on his right shoulder. He was wearing black sweatpants and a form fitting white t-shirt that was partially covered by an unzipped hooded sweatshirt. She waved, and he simply closed the door behind him and headed downstairs to meet her.
— Thank you for doing this.- she told him, honestly. Magna glanced over her shoulder at him just in time to see him swallow and she was suddenly struck with the fact that he was nervous, that perhaps he was having second thoughts.
She turned away from him, taking a few steps toward the padded floor. A moment passed.
— Yeah, well, I didn't have much going on.- if his words had been sincere she would have been drawn to his presence. But the sarcasm in his voice told her that he apparently wasn't keen on revealing the reason behind his change of heart just yet.
— Shall we?- she said, turning again to Bucky with sudden gaiety, a tiny smirk playing with the corners of her mouth. He looked across the room and managed to nod once.
The man took her by surprise and coolly breezed past her, taking the lead and walking ahead as if he were heading into a serious corporate business meeting, not into a gym. Magna followed, leaving the former soldier to focus on his thoughts.
Lost in her own mind as well, she was startled when Bucky stopped, so suddenly she plowed into him. Looking up, Magna realized they'd reached the wrestling mats. She walked up to the bench where she'd left her pack and searched for her bottle of water. When she had it in hand, the brunette turned to Bucky with a hopeful smile that died in her throat. The color was gone from his face and his entire body radiated tension.
— James?- she asked, heart dropping. Was he about to lose consciousness again? Fear seized her. — ... Oh, shit.
Shuri's gonna kill me.
—No.- he said, looking vacant. — It's not that.
She stared at him, unsettled by his distant tone. Bucky was completely blank-faced, and as mentally withdrawn from her as was possible.
— What is it?- she whispered. He shook his head as if tossing off a bad memory.
— Let's get his over with.- said Bucky, and pulled out a bottle of water from his own backpack as well, opening it before stepping onto the closest wrestling mat.
Fucking training, Bucky thought. Of course it had come down to training again. His gut clenched tight, and with wooden feet he kept moving. The former soldier nearly suffocated --not from lack of air, there was plenty of it--, but from the memories. Memories of another training session, another continent, another time.
Dark.
Cold.
Screams.
Blood.
Bucky took a deep breath and forced his feet to take another step. Jesus, he groaned mentally.
— James..?- ignoring the concern in Magna's voice, as well as the hand she set on his arm, he moved forward. Because that's what he'd learned to do.
Move forward.
Except sometimes it felt like all he was really doing was spinning his wheels. No matter how much he tried.
And then it happened. Three extra steps into the training mat, his feet refused to go another step. Just flat-out refused. The urge to turn and run away from there nearly overpowered him, and that pissed him off. It was just an hour of boring body on body combat. Hell, he'd spent decades doing far worse. He knew those fights as well has he knew the back of his own hand, so he refused to acknowledge the bells clinging in his head and the way his vision was flashing like IEDs going off around him. But he was sweating now, and yep, right on cue, a stabbing pain arrowed into his brain.
And then another.
He pressed two fingers to his temple, hard, but it didn't help. It wasn't the distress that came before losing consciousness, Bucky knew this. But the pain still sucked the breath from his lungs and replaced it with a ball of bitter panic. Utterly out of control, he dropped to his knees rather than pass out.
— Shit.- he whispered, because here it came. He set his hand onto the floor and let his head hang, eyes closed, as he tried to ride it out while his brain screwed with him.
— ... James.- he squeezed his eyes tighter but the images slapped at him, replacing his vision completely.
Choking dust. Burning lungs. The stench of blood and fear. And death. Always, death.
— Hey. Come on.- her soft words entered his ear. Pulling hands. — That's it. I've got you.- he opened his eyes, realizing that Magna had gotten him to his feet and on one of the benches by sheer force. Pretty impressive given that he outweighed her. — Breathe, James.- she crouched in front of him and tugged off his backpack, putting her cool hand to the back of his sweaty neck. — Bigger breaths.- she said matter-of-factly. — Deeper.
Jesus. She was using his own techniques on him. Closing his eyes again, he dropped his head to his knees and concentrated on imitating Magna's breathing. It was all he could do.
— Here.- she brought the water bottle closer to him. — Slow sips.- he slid her a look as he drank, then moved to get up. The brunette didn't attempt to try to keep him down but merely got up with him and slipped her hand in his. — We're doing this, then?- she asked.
That royal we, a month earlier, would have irritated the hell out of him, but he had other problems. There was the horror he felt that he'd let her see him like this. Shame that he wasn't in control. And then there was the fire still in his head, and his heart was palpitating against his ribs so hard Bucky was surprised they didn't shatter. He couldn't catch a damn breath, and while a moment ago he'd been flashing hot and sweating like a pig, he was now freezing-ass cold and shaking with it. And having trouble remembering a single damn thing he'd been taught to stop this nightmare.
Walk, he thought. Breathe. So he did a few laps around the boxing ring, he and his company. Magna. He could still feel her calm, quiet presence at his side. She was still holding his hand, hers warm and steady in his icy one.
When he'd ran away from HYDRA, Bucky had walled himself off from the world. His past made that easy. He'd slipped into a routine. He'd closed off his mind to new feelings and emotions, because if he didn't allow himself to feel, then he wouldn't be vulnerable to loss.
Then there was Steve. He'd helped him feel more comfortable, and if he treated him with a certain care, Bucky pretended not to notice. Eventually, he'd made his way back to the living, thanks to Wakanda, T'Challa and Shuri, or so he'd thought, at least. He'd been there for a while now and had believed those incidents were behind him.
Liar. If that had really been true, he'd have long ago put himself on active duty instead of living in a farm, as far away as possible from the Citadel. The road to recovery was a long one, and he needed to understand that. Still, for the most part he'd managed to function at nearly one hundred percent, though Shuri had warned him that there'd be occasional setbacks.
And there had been. It was a stark reminder of why he wasn't in a place to let anyone into his life. Why he wasn't ready to welcome new relationships. He couldn't do it to someone he cared about. Especially, someone like Magna. His blue eyes fixed on her troubled profile.
— I'm not losing it.- he muttered. — At least not completely. You don't have to walk with me, Magna.
— I know.- she said. But she kept walking with him, Miss Total Control all of a sudden. She was shockingly calm and efficient, if not more than a little grim-faced, no doubt from having to get him to the bench since he hadn't been able to to manage it on his own.
Yeah, he really hated that.
Finally, he let out a long, shuddery breath and stopped, plopping down again on one of the benches, eyes shut. When Magna didn't speak, Bucky opened his eyes and looked at her. The brunette gave him a small smile, but didn't offer any empty platitudes like "It's going to be okay" or "You're looking better now", for which he was eternally grateful. He was also grateful that she didn't try to get him to talk about it. Thanks to Shuri he knew he could, -the Princess had introduced him to several therapists the past month-, but the man didn't like to talk, and he sure as hell didn't want to do it now, when every time he closed his eyes he was still flashing back.
— I fucking hate this.- he muttered under his breath. Magna nodded and spoke again.
— I'm getting that loud and clear.- Bucky gave her an unamused look. Then, she heard him sigh. — I'm okay now.- she slid the guy a sideways look. Her lips pursed for a minute as she studied him.
— Really?- she questioned, not entire sure she bought it. Bucky blinked an affirmation.
— Yeah.-he managed to add, blinking once more.
— Really, really?- she regarded him with softness. He could feel his brows pinching together as he thought.
— No.- he admitted and blew out a breath. — But I'm getting there.
— Why don't you stay here a few minutes? We can leave it for another time and...- his voice cut her off.
— No. I'll train with you.- he told her, shaking his head firmly. — I'm keeping my word.- Magna gave Bucky a long look, but she didn't argue, once again earning his undying gratitude.
— Okay.- she cautiously said. — But let's give it a minute first.- that said, she sat down next to him. They were silent for a little while. Perfectly fine with him.
— ... I didn't expect that to happen.- he murmured eventually. Turning his head, the former soldier met her mischievous gaze and watched her mouth twist sardonically.
— I'm dying to joke about this.- she whispered and Bucky huffed.
— Aren't you supposed to be kind to the mentally ill person?- he deadpanned, tucking his hand in his pocket. Magna held his gaze, all kidding aside.
— You're not mentally ill, James.-the way she spoke the words, with such firmness, almost made him forget how to breathe. — You're just human. - she added, after searching her mind for an appropriate conclusion. As he absorbed the comment, his brow contracted and his eyes seemed to focus on something invisible a few feet ahead of him.
Though the latter was anxious to train, she was more anxious about Bucky at the moment. If she hadn't seen his panic attack up close and personal, she'd never have believed it possible for him to lose control so completely.
But he'd gotten it together pretty fast, much faster than she could have accomplished. It was amazing, and awe-inspiring. She felt other things, too. Far more complicated things. Affection, for one. It was hard to watch a big, bad, tough man like Bucky Barnes fall apart and pull himself back together again without wanting to hug him. And yeah, she really wanted to hug him --which would be essentially the same things as hugging a lit fuse.
Go figure. Apparently he wasn't the only one of the two of them with a crazy streak. As she watched, he settled himself back to normal. Normal being a cool, calm exterior that revealed nothing of the inner man. He lifted the backpack, setting it on the bench. Then, he moved away from the seat. And stopped, suddenly aware of what he was about to do.
Magna came up beside him.
— You don't have to do this today, you know.- she said, putting her hands on her hips. The words came slow and quiet. Bucky paused again, and he seemed to grow a little taller as he squared his shoulders, almost as if he were about to face an enemy.
— Yeah, I do.- she stared up into his face and looked deep into those ocean eyes.
— What about that PTSD reaction you just experienced?- she insisted, frowning. — How do you manage it in this context?- Bucky grimaced, and Magna wasn't sure he was going to answer. However, he stood his ground, then shrugged.
— I don't.- he finally said.
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— Heard you got a pretty mean swing.- he quipped, after a few minutes of silence, as he pulled his hooded sweatshirt off.
When he shrugged it off, she could see the huge squares of his pectoral muscles outlined against his white cotton tee, which seemed to be a size too small. His broad shouldered body narrowed in that perfect manly vee to hips, and Shuri's vibranium shoulder cap shimmered, peeking out of his left sleeve.
— So mean it could, apparently...- trailing off, his focus shot back to her and Bucky tilted his head, eyes narrowed, looking at her kind of funny. — ..."Knock a man into the middle of next week"...?
— I can hold my own.- she replied and pursed her lips, her gaze still steady and unwavering as she considered his words. Then, realization came to her. Magna rolled her eyes heavenward. — ... Has Zura mentioned anything else?
Then he turned his face away from her, but not soon enough to hide his smirk.
— Maybe. Not sure I believe it, though.- he replied rather cryptically. She raised an inquisitive eyebrow, watching him walk. — Not after what I say today, at least.
Ouch.
— Hm, okay... whatever.- she said, and ever‐so‐slightly shook her head, pointing somewhere behind her. — Let me go change.- when Magna headed toward the dressing room, he waited outside, leaning on the wall while she changed clothes.
Leaving the upper part of her body the same, the brunette quickly slipped into pale lilac running shorts and then tied her sneakers.
— Alright. Let's do this.- she announced, pulling her hair up into a high ponytail. The energy in her body fought for release.
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THIRTY MINUTES LATER
She tried to surprise by swinging towards his ribs. He caught her hand easily, spinning her so that her back was against his chest and his arm around her neck. Bucky rolled his eyes.
— You're distracted.- he told her, utterly aware he could feel the beat of her heart, feel her chest as it rose and fell with her breath.
After fanning her face with her hand, the young woman swiftly eased her yellow T-shirt over her head and stayed only in the pale lilac shorts and black sports bra.
— Woah.- Bucky rapidly half turned --she could have sworn bashfully. Her lips twitched at his singular word. Woah. Woah, what? Frowning slightly, she peered down at her attire. Her body was all sleak with sweat already.
— Something wrong?- she asked, flinching a teasing eyebrow at him. He averted his gaze and licked his lips before smiling.
— I'm impressed.- he conceded. Was there a tone to that? she could never tell. Rolling her eyes, Magna walked past him.
— Even after today?- she countered, and threw the yellow shirt on the bench, feeling his blue eyes watching her every move.
That's when he noticed the brunette's body also showed a variety of bruises similar to the one that marked her face. Reflexively, she smoothed out the back of her shorts. When she joined him again, Bucky cleared his throat and gestured at her gloves. Bucky's expression now was hard, uncompromising.
— You need to stop your wrists from jarring.- he caught her hands, and tugged the gloves from them. Magna's jaw clenched immediately; she had trained with boxing moves well enough during years to know he was right. She was distracted. But why?
He tossed her gloves onto the gym bench, picked up one roll of cotton hand-wrapping tape, and looped the end around her thumb. Dumbly fascinated, Magna bit her lip as she watched. Bucky wrapped the tape around her wrist, her palm, between two fingers, back around the palm with the utmost care.
She stole glances at his face and downcast blue eyes as he worked, feeling both tense and awed, as if she were in the presence of a different species. Maybe a jaguar, all sleek and dangerous and beautiful. Her gaze trailed up his muscular forearm, past his bicep, and to his chest. Broad, tall, the brunette knew that if she took half a step forward, she could close her eyes and lean against his warmth and strength. But Magna would learn tap dance before that would happen again, so she redirected her attention to his lips. They curved in a little knowing smile as he secured the Velcro on the first wrap and reached for her other hand.
He reached the end of the wrap and secured one Velcro end at her wrist.
— That's it.- he tapped down the second strip and secured the gloves onto her hands. — These will help strengthen your wrists.- he murmured, and stepped back, raising his gloveless fist in a fighting stance and nodding for her to do the same. — Keep your legs bent, left fist protecting your ear, right fist near your chin. Extend your left arm.- she did, and Bucky urged her closer. — Okay, guard back up. Lemme see what you've got.
His analytical gaze swept from her face to her feet and back again. Purely professional, of course, but Magna squirmed just the same.
The young woman brought her fists to her face, trying to look menacing. It was absurd how nervous she felt. The latter was already very good at combat, but something about his presence made her feel like an amateur. Suddenly, a sharp twinge of impostor syndrome sliced through her and the brunette considered what a fraud she probably looked like, standing in front of someone as strong as him.
However, she soon realized that might actually be the case there. Magna could never really be a true match for his decades of experience. Plus, there was the whole enhancement thing to consider as well. Thinking back to Ayo, she wondered how much he would hold back. Granted, with her skills, if she were to take on a regular, non-enhanced man of his height and build, she knew she could definitely take him down. She'd done it before after all, plenty of times, in fact.
But Bucky Barnes was not regular, he was not ordinary. The man could never be simplified by being defined as something as awful as... normal. Even when that was something he, deep down, fantasized about.
— You're overthinking it.- he purred near her ear, pulling her back to reality. — Shift your right leg back and stand more side-on.
Nudging her foot with his, Bucky grasped her shoulder, rotating Magna until her left shoulder faced him.
— It makes you less of a target to your opponent.- his warm breath brushed her neck, and she shivered. — ... Which is me, by the way.
Was he lingering, or had her brain function just slowed? Magna licked her lips and followed his instructions perfectly.
Bucky took a step back and assessed her. His expression yielded no clues. Then, he nodded once, mouth twisting in what could have been a proud smile, but probably wasn't.
— Good.- he said, and held up his palm. — Now, punch.- she hesitated, brain crunching back into gear.
— You mean punch you?- she questioned slowly, and kicked the leather bag. — ... That's you, right?- he shook his hand. — So, we don't punch the bag?
— I'm more fun.- he replied matter-of-factly, with the ghost of a smile. — Take a swing, Mags.- she swiftly jabbed at his palm with her left hand. — Now the other.
Bucky's palm slapped against her boxing glove with almost equal force to her punch. Except Magna was giving it all she had, while he looked like he was shooing flies.
— When you throw a cross, swivel your hips to get more force into it. Use your whole body. That's where the power comes from, not your hand.- he explained calmly. — Your fist is the grille of the truck, but your hip is the engine, giving you all the momentum. Grille won't do any damage if the truck's not moving.
The instruction was followed by Bucky demonstrating as best as he could. Despite his body missing an arm, his punch met the bag hard enough to rattle the chains suspending it from the ceiling.
— See that?- he expertly threw a couple more, then to Magna's mingled worry and delight, Bucky stripped his white t-shirt right over his back. — Watch my hip.
Oh, how she watched. His hand, and arm, and waist, and legs all worked as one, twisting so the impact uncoiled like a whip.
She cleared her throat.
— Okay, I think I see.- Magna saw more than just the technique -- saw every intricate shape twitching along Bucky's side and down his arm, plus that evil, evil muscle that crested from above his hip and dove down the front of his track pants. — I need to twist into it more.- he nodded.
— Exactly.- then Bucky moved to the side and for a fleeting instant placed his hand on her right hip, twisting her as Magna brought her arm forward. — That's right. Feel where the power comes from?
With his hand on her? Yeah, she felt the power. Magna threw her next punch in slow-mo, but the difference was obvious. Bucky's feedback came in no time.
— Better. Let your heel come up.- she tried a few more, and they began to land nice loud thwacks.
— Okay.- she mumbled. Thwack. Thwack. Bucky poked her ear, an unspoken reminder. — Right.- the brunette kept her fist up between punches.
— Try a jab now. Switch your feet... good. That's called orthodox stance.- Magna already knew that. — Keep going, with your left.- she adjusted her form until she was landing the punches with that delicious thwack once more.
— Good.- he bobbed his head once and watched her intently. Thwack.
— Thanks.- she breathed out. Thwack.
Bucky ran her through the rest of the basic types of punches --movements which the brunette already knew as well, yet she opted for trying them anyway, appreciating the man's own personal input. Then, he stepped back and pulled on his single glove with ease.
— Time to sink or swim. Try to punch me.- he ordered. No palm in the air this time. No bag. Bucky shifted his weight to his toes and bounced on the spot, fist held near his cheekbone. Magna hesitated again and this time he pursed his lips into a small smile. — I'll just tap you. Try to block the shots like I told you and punch me like normal.- his smile turned into a taunting grin. — ... If you can land a shot.
She cut him a short teasing look.
— You sure, James? I don't want to take advantage.- she bit back eagerly, her muscles already tightening with anticipation. — Don't wanna hurt the only hand you got left.- her voice held an attractive rasp.
— I think I'll manage just fine.- his gaze narrowed as he hoarsely murmured the words. She looked more satisfied with his answer, nodding her head and moving her legs to warm up a little.
Magna took a hesitant step forward. Drawing herself up to her full height, she decided it was time to bring that session to the next level. She lunged, in an effort to surprise him. Bucky caught her easily and pulled her closer, repressed laughter reverberating deep in his chest. His fingers tightened slightly about her gloved wrist and his breath brushed her cheek.
— That was actually... not that bad.- he whispered, taunting. The scent of sweat and something else, something wild and male, filled her and awakened a long overlooked primal need within her.
Magna pushed against his chest with her fist, he only held her tighter. She began to feel dizzy from his scent, from the beat of his heart against hers. And just like sudden the pop of balloon, he let go of her and took a step back, his face blank as a canvas.
They circled each other. Magna threw a couple of jabs out, but Bucky slipped his head from side to side, and her gloves met empty air. This went on repeteadly, and soon, she was panting and glaring at him.
— How do you do that?- the brunette muttered under her breath but he heard it. Sure enough, she looked dismayed. Bucky shrugged smugly. Her left hand swung around in a hook, and Bucky ducked underneath it and poked her in the stomach.
— Is that it?- he egged her on with a mischief grin and she scoffed. Okay. This is annoying. Magna had a hard time believing it, but there she was, getting her ass kicked twice in one day.
She shifted her punching level from don't-wanna-hurt-you to a-black-eye-never-killed-anyone. Bucky tossed a soft swing in her direction, basically moving in slow motion. She ducked and landed two punches to his midsection. It felt like hitting a wall, and obviously, there was no grunt of pain, no response whatsoever. The brunette straightened up and looked at him with a frown. He smiled skeptically.
— Oh. I mean... Ouch?- he whispered, watching her with amusement. Magna groaned. Her confidence was at ground zero.
His mind suddenly whirred as he tried to figure out whether to say something or not to make her realize that it wasn't because she was weak, but that he was scientifically enhanced to be that strong. However, deep down he suspected she didn't need any words of reassurance from his him.
— There's an old saying, that the tiger lies low not out of fear, but for better aim.- she stepped up to him, closer than usual.
Closer than ever, except for only a few other occasions, like that party where they'd made amends, and Magna had asked him to dance with her. A dance he'd rejected. A rejection that sometimes kept him up at night.
— It reminds me of you.- Bucky saw something in her eyes that kept rejection from clouding his face.
— It should.- he watched her almost hungrily and scrutinized her face. There was a small bruise already starting on the right side of her face, high up on the cheekbone, a little dried blood from a tiny cut at corner of her mouth. Instictively, she shook her head, as if her appearance was a losing battle. The idea made Bucky want to roll his eyes.
She took in his full lips, the eager expression on the latter's face, his earnest attention, and tried to keep it safe somewhere inside. Then, she spoke again, her face hardening with the most determined of stares.
— Again.- she told him, getting in her ready stance. That was the first time that Bucky had actually looked at her with pride. He lowered his face, beckoning her with his gloved hand and a lazy smile, humor gleaming in his eyes.
Training with Bucky went on considerably longer than both anticipated.
She enjoyed every minute of it.
So did he.
... Not that he would admit it.
𝔸/ℕ: Three words. Get a room.
❁❂❁
♡ 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕜 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘!
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