The feeling of my phone vibrating on my stomach makes me check it, expecting an unimportant notification to be seen on my screen.
< Don't forget to eat ]
My heart skips a beat at the sight of Jungkook's message, my mood now at its highest point of bliss. I smile in front of my screen but answer him.
[ I'm not hungry without you... >
< I'm here with you right now, we're talking, so eat something ]
[ and what are you gonna do if I don't? >
< Tell your father you were rude, and that I don't ever want you in my house again ]
[ you wouldn't dare >
< y/n, eat something. ]
[ alright... >
< Thank you, and do not lie to me ]
[ I know... >
I stand up to leave my bed but walk up to my desk to take the cookies I left there and open the wrapping. I take one of the pink snacks and then close it to eat and check my phone.
[ what have you eaten? >
< I'm cooking right now, guess what it is ]
[ Pasta? >
< Yes, the ones I made you taste for your first dinner here ]
[ can you send them to me please?😁 >
< I can't, sorry😏 ]
< Oops. Wrong emoji. 😄* ]
[ 😂😂 you can't even use your keyboard? >
< Keep quiet. What are you eating right now? You should be cooking ]
[ I'm eating your cookies >
< Well, I know they're delicious, but eat more than those snacks ]
[ they're delicious because I gave you the recipe! >
< The recipe you got from the internet? ]
[ don't be mean🥺 >
< I'm not, I'm joking😘 ]
[ 🥰 >
< What are you going to eat for dinner today? ]
[ Chinese food my parents will order because they're too busy with their work... >
< Then cook for them, like this, you take a break and stop studying ]
[ I don't want to... >
< You were almost begging me to let you cook for me, but you don't want to do it for your parents? ]
[ that's not the same... >
< Y/n, even if you come back to my house and stay with me the way you did it this week, that will be totally different because I won't be here as much as I was ]
[ but I'd rather be in your house than here. My parents are never here anyway, and they're always in a bad mood, so I can't talk to anyone even when I don't feel good >
< You can talk to me, I told you, I'm always here for you even if I'm not in front of you, call or text me, and I'll be here for you ]
I don't answer, not knowing what to say.
I put my phone down to finish my cookie but remember when I ate the same ones at his house. I miss his cute face, his sexy body, and tattoos. I admit that each time I was feeling a bit upset or down, he was there to hug me and talk to me.
At the sound of my phone vibrating loudly on the desk, I check the message, with a smile upon my face.
< All right💕? ]
[ all right❤ >
He doesn't say anything more, so I lock my phone and shove the rest of my snack in my mouth to eat it and stand up from my chair. I grab my precious phone and get out of my room to head downstairs.
I pass by my mother, who's working at the dining table, and I get in the kitchen to grab a bottle of banana milk in the fridge and then make my way back to the living room.
"What are you doing?" my father asks me, lifting his eyes up from his screen with a caring smile. "Nothing...I was just thirsty..." I sip on my drink but remain on my spot, looking at him sitting on the sofa. "Hm, have you talked to Jungkook since we came back?"
"Yeah..." I do not tell a lie but see upon his face that he knows what I feel deep inside. "And what have you talked about?"
"Nothing much...he just told me to eat and all..." I lick my lips that taste like my beverage, but he nods and glances at his screen. "Okay," no other word leaves him, so I go back to my bedroom and close the door behind me.
Why did he ask that though?
•••
10 pm.
"Goodnight, y/n, I'm going to bed," my dad speaks from the other side of the door as I'm reading. "Goodnight," I answer him. Once I hear his footsteps fade away, I remove my glasses and exit my application to get on Snapchat and send a text to Jungkook.
[ I don't know if you're already in bed but goodnight❤ >
< I just got out of my shower one minute ago, are you stalking me?😂 Goodnight to you as well, sweetheart ]
[ I'm not😅 I'm just going to sleep now so I wanted to text you. Thank you >
< 😚 ]
I smile in front of my screen but lock it, loving his little texts that always make me feel better. I put my phone on my nightstand and cover my body with my blanket.
However, I receive another message as soon as I get comfortable. I don't wait before checking it since it's more important.
< Do you need to talk on the phone before sleeping, or you're all right? ]
[ Can we talk? >
At the exact moment that my message is sent, his picture appears on my screen, so I clear my throat and then pick up the call, timidly.
"Good evening," his soft voice already attacks my heart, and I smile. "Good evening..." I nibble on my bottom lip but hear a gentle exhalation full of amusement through the phone. "Your voice sounds even cuter like that."
He's going to make me blush during a simple call, dammit. "Stop it...I just need to talk quietly."
"Hm," the enticing sound coming from him gives me butterflies inside. "Do you need to tell me something in particular, or you just want to talk before sleeping?"
"I want to..." my hesitation cuts me off in the middle of my sentence, thinking about what I should say. "I wanna hear you talk..."
"Ah yeah?" he chuckles but makes his words twice sexier. The way he just pronounced them kind of affected my poor mind. "And what do you want me to tell you?"
"What did you do today?" I ask him, willing to have his voice in my ears until he has nothing more to say. "Well, I cooked for every meal, I worked, took a shower, brushed my teeth, and got into my sweatpants to go to bed. Do you want all the details?" he laughs, but I reply with what he must have expected to get. "Yes, I do..."
"All right then," he doesn't complain or shows some annoyance but talks to me. "Once you left, I went on my sofa and...I just..." he loses his words, acting weird when he seemed pretty confident a minute ago. "I just stayed there...and I lied down and closed my eyes to take a nap..."
"Why?" I interrupt him. "Were you tired?"
"I wasn't," he says. "I slept well with you, but I just wanted to sleep at that moment. Then once I woke up, I went to my kitchen to cook, and I texted you just to make sure you were okay since I knew how you were feeling before leaving. And after that, I ate, I worked till dinner, and then I worked again before taking my shower and...calling you..." a smile exudes through his voice but causes one to me. "Does that do something to you the fact that I left your house...? Or...it's not a big deal...?"
No answer gets given right away, making me believe that he's thinking about the question and what he should say. "Honestly...it kinda broke my heart. You know, just because I'm an adult doesn't mean I'm not affected by little things like this one. I just didn't want to show it when you were with me, like this, I could enjoy my time with the little girl who almost made me cry," he adds some cuteness for us to not be too overwhelmed by the emotions, but I laugh quietly.
"This little girl saved you when you were naked in the ocean, okay?" I remind him, with the thoughts in my head, but he giggles. "Oh, come on! Don't talk about this again. It's so embarrassing that I can feel my body being all shy like it did at that moment."
I laugh at him without wanting to but recall how timid he was when that happened. That was funny, even though he was more scared to death than something else. "Stop laughing. I can hear you, little brat," he does what he tells me not to. "I'm sorry—" someone entering my room cuts me off.
I take a look at the person but see my father standing at the door frame with the light of the hallway radiating behind him, leaving his shadow on the floor of my room. "Y/n?" he says my name, but I bring my phone down. "Oh, you're on the phone? I'm sorry, I just wanted to tell you not to forget that your mother works tomorrow."
"Yeah, all right," I make quick to reply. "She will have to leave early in the morning, so I'll go shopping at the same moment. Would you like anything?"
"No...thanks..." I shake my head but make sure Jungkook is still on the phone. "All right, you don't want me to wake you up to go with me I guess...?"
"I...you can wake me up," I nod and don't refuse. It will be good for me to go out with him and have some time to talk. "All right," he smiles but steps aside with the door he's dragging with him. "Goodnight," he walks out, so I tell him the same words before lying down again and going back to my favorite man. "I'm sorry, my dad was talking to me."
"It's all right," he understands but right after this, some quietness keeps me silent. "What are you going to do tomorrow?" he saves me from this as I was panicking and rummaging through my ideas to know what to say. "I'm going to go shopping at the supermarket with my dad...what about you?"
"Well, I'm going to work and...I don't know," he repeats the same as always, thinking about his work only. "Oh...if I was with you, I would have been there to make sure you take a break," I remark for him to hear me. "And also, I would have cooked the pizza you liked so much the other day."
"Oh god...that pizza was so delicious I can't wait for you to cook it again, seriously," his compliments flutters my heart, and I chuckle like an idiot. "The cheese you put on it with the vegetables that were perfectly cooked, the taste of all the ingredients...oh...you made me hungry right now..."
"I should call it the 'y/n pizza' then, I'll cook it just for you," I grin but roll on my bed to lie down on my back, staring in the darkness while picturing Jungkook in his own bed, with a pair of sweatpants only. "For free? If yes, then I order one for tomorrow please, your special customer wants two 'y/n pizza'," he giggles cutely while playing to this little game, but I do the same, feeling like it's impossible for me to not laugh when I hear his cuteness. "That is free only when I'm with you."
"Ah..." he emits out of disappointment. "Then I'll pick you up at your house for you to come and cook that pizza."
"Oh, so you don't mind having me in your house just to cook?" I pretend to be offended when I know he didn't mean it like that. "You little dummy, of course not," he answers without willing to annoy me but then continues his sentence. "I'll make you clean," his laughter passes through the phone again as he liked the way he snapped back. "You didn't even let me clean the other day! You forced me to stay on the sofa!"
"Because you can't stay still, so I had to," he acts like I am a turbulent kid, but I gasp. "Not even. I was calm, I just wanted to help you but you pushed me away."
"Wow, you're so exaggerating right now. I was all sweet, I carried you, took your banana milk, and brought you to my sofa to leave you there while I was cleaning," he reminds me of this moment but especially the minutes that followed it. When he somewhat spanked me but realized it wasn't something he should do to me. "Hm...yeah...you're right, I admit."
"I know I'm right," his reply runs out of him with confidence, but I titter. He really knows how to make me feel like there is nothing bringing me down.
— Next day —
Sunday, October 20, 2019.
7 am.
[ Hey, I don't know if you're still sleeping, I guess you are but I hope you had a good night even if it was short...🥺 because of me...don't overwork today please❤❤ >
Once this message is sent, I look up in front of me to take a peek at the road, locking my phone but listening to the music in the car. "Dad..." I let out, thinking about what went through my mind these last days. "Yes, sweetie?"
"I...I wanted to ask you..." I hesitate but do not dare to look at him. "Uhm...do you think I could work at your office...you know...just like I did for a few days...? I really liked it..."
"Y/n..." his heavy exhalation gives me his answer right away. "I know why you want to do this, but you haven't even started your block release course, and you're nineteen...I know you're in love with Jungkook, but you shouldn't change your plans because of that. You will regret it later."
"How do you know that I will regret it?" I say with some rudeness I didn't mean to let out. "I don't want to force you to do something, but I know how this thing is going to end, he won't love you back y/n. You know it. You wanted to do this cooperative training, but you suddenly change your decision because of your feelings, so no, I don't agree to it, and I know you'll regret it."
I glance away out of grief, hating the truth he always has to throw at me in order to make sure I'll stop dreaming about something that won't happen. "If you want, you can come with me on Saturdays and Wednesdays, or when you're on holiday."
"Yeah..." I mumble but feel my hands numbing at the vibration of my phone.
< Hey, I just woke up, so thank you for this sweet message. You already made my day, but I had a good, short night😄 I'd rather have a good and short one than a long and annoying one, don't worry. I hope you slept well too ]
This third sentence doesn't sound right to my mind, this sounds so wrong, and I don't even know if he meant to make it look so dirty.
[ I'm glad to hear that, I did sleep well. How are you doing? >
< I'm doing good, what about you? ]
[ fine. Are you still in bed? You said you just woke up so I assume you haven't left it yet >
< Exactly, I'm still in bed. That feels good, and I'm going to stay in it for some more time because that's the last day I have free, so I enjoy it. What about you? What are you doing? ]
[ I'm going to the supermarket with my dad. I don't like to know you'll go back to your hard and intense routine tomorrow...😔 >
< Don't worry😚 I'm strong, and I told you, I'm better at my workplace than at my house ]
[ and if someone was waiting for you at your house? Would you still say the same? >
< No, I wouldn't. I'd rather see the one I love than be at my work, but that's the reason why this is better that way, I don't want to hurt someone because I'm never there for them ]
[ Someone who loves you will never be hurt if you're still there to love them and remind them you're here even with some distance...Love isn't just 'I'm next to you twenty-four hours a day'...as long as you love the person and come back home every day, that's the most important. You can't bring the money, and at the same time, take care of the one you love, unless you're rich and have everything you need, you have to work and that's not something you can change >
[ or maybe that's just the way I see it because I'm young...I don't know >
< I love the way you think, but there are days where you can not just handle it anymore. On a daily basis, that's different for a couple ]
[ but there are couples who cannot last long just because they can't stand to be by each other's side too often. What does this even mean? Is it like 'oh I love you but only when we're away from each other most of the time'? To me, that's not what a couple is, it's like your family, you live with them all the time when you're young but does that mean you stop loving them after some years? No, you like their presence no matter what. But whatever...that's just my opinion >
< I understand you, y/n, don't worry. I know what you mean, and I share your opinion, to be honest with you. I'm the opposite, you know, I need closeness with my partner, but that's what caused a breakup or fight most of the time because I often need that closeness and physical contact for the comfort and happiness that brings to me. So don't worry, I like your opinion ]
[ Good...I'm relieved❤ >
No other message being sent to me, I check the ones I received this morning, but which come from another person. Minjae talked to me yesterday, but I was really focused on Jungkook and could barely text back.
We both have been talking to each other every day, but the reaction my body has whenever he texts me is totally different from when the text comes from Jungkook.