orenda [leo valdez]

By undercoverlovr

314K 11.9K 10.7K

❝if it doesn't burn a little, what is the point of playing with fire?❞ ⤷bridgett devoue orenda (n.) a mysti... More

μηδέν. Prologue
i. Extreme Rock Climbing
ii. Can't We All Just Be Friends?
iii. Daughter of War Hates Wars
iv. Leo Tames a Fire-Breathing Dragon
v. The Frozen Penthouse with Ice Brat
vi. Pathetic Flying Squirrels
vii. The Grass Laughs at Kira
viii. Chef Leo's Taco Garage Makes Tacos
ix. Piper is Abusive but Right
x. No One Ate Leo on Kira's Watch
xi. Crazed Satyrs and Evil Gold Men
xi. Shark Boy and Lava Girl
xiii. Leo Almost Pushes Thaila off a Cliff
xiv. Mellie and Hedge Sittin' in a Tree
xv. Taking a Cab Up Mount Diablo
xvi. Museum of Love
xvii. Ares tells Kira to Shut Up
xviii. No Romance in the Infirmary
xix. Annabeth: the Strict Chaperone
xx. Octavian Burns Teddy Bears
xxi. Jason Gets Hit with a Brick
xxii. The Dead Mom's Club Takes on Nymph Fan Club
xxiii. Coach Almost Takes Kira's Head (twice)
xxiv. Meeting Wine Dude, Jason's Brother
xxv. Matching Hoofprints on Foreheads
xxvii. Frank the Godlfish
xxviii. Getting Chased by Dead Confederates
xxix. Keep it PG-13 on the Washing Machine
xxx. A Dolphin Breaks Kira's Door Down
xxxi. Jason Hates Wonder Bread
xxxii. Otis Doesn't Do His Pirouette
xxxiii. A Small Fall
xxxiv. Warrior with a Golden Heart
xxxv. The Angel Lady Voice in Tartarus
xxxvi. Aphrodite Throws a Shoe at Leo
xxxvii. The Evil Demon Grandmothers
xxxviii. Thank the Gods and Pass the Hot Sauce
xxxix. Percy Becomes an Thesaurus
xl. Bob's Wonderful Return
xli. Calypso is a Major Douche
xlii. Stomping on Tartarus' Heart (literally)
xliii. The Risky Elevator Ride
xliv. The Praetor Doesn't Like Kira's Boyfriend
xlv. Leo Hates Cheerio's
xlvi. Leo's Collection of Grenades
xlvii. Tying the Goddess of Victory Up in a Horse Stall
xlviii. Leo's Head Gets Stuck in a Toilet
xlix. Frank gets an Apple
l. The Snake King Brings Cake
li. The Unpredictable Variable
lii. Kira Defies the King of Gods
liv. Golden Sky
lv. The Aftermath
lvi. Anger
lvii. Percy Learns to Not Bet Against Kira
lviii. Don't Disrespect Leo Valdez
lix. Uprising of Frozen Fruit
lx. The God of the Sun Vomits on Kira
lxi. The Three-Legged Death Race
lxii. Aphrodite and Ares have Salad
lxiii. Apollo Rides Giant Flying Ants
lxiv. Leo's a Jerk and Everyone Hates Him
lxv. Bliss
lxvi. Festus Declares War on Indiana
lxvii. A Magic Trainstation
lxviii. Sup, Cheese
lxix. Apollo is Trapped in a Net
lxx. When in Doubt, Tater Tots
lxxi. Old Enemies
lxxii. The Return of Meg McCaffrey
lxxiii. Imprisioned
lxxiv. The Bright Blue Cast
lxxv. Apollo Has a Problem with Controlling His Mouth
lxxvi. Never Rely on Apollo for a Plan
lxxvii. Hitting People with Dirty Rags
lxxviii. Hush, Woman
lxxix. Pancakes!
lxxx. Leo takes Tristian McLean to Oklahoma
lxxxi. The War of Sunscreen
lxxxii. Sherman Forgets How to Stand
lxxxiii. Flour War and Naked Cupcakes
lxxxiv. Their Happy Ending
lxxxv. Dancing in the Rain
lxxxvi. Don't Trust the Cheerleaders
lxxxvii. Epilogue

xxvi. Percy Leads His Friends into a Known Trap

4.2K 141 167
By undercoverlovr

"Get up!" Piper yelled. "Percy and Annabeth are missing!"

"Get out of my cabin," Kira groaned, but she sat up in her bed.

Her hair was a mess, and she was still in her pajamas, but she helped Piper look for the two. Every demigod was up looking for them.

Her mind was still bliss after last night, but she tried to stay focused for Percy and Annabeth's sake.

"So," Piper said as she opened the closet, as if the two demigods would be hiding in a broom closet. "You and Leo..said it?"

"Yes," Kira said, focusing on finding Annabeth. She would never forgive herself if she couldn't find them. "He said it last night, on the deck."

Piper looked ecstatic. "That's so cute!"

"You sound like your mother," Kira said, laughing as they checked the same bathroom for the third time.

"I found them!" Frank called. Kira breathed in relief when the boy brought an embarrassed Percy and Annabeth in tow.

When everyone finally gathered in the mess hall, Jason, Kira, and Piper were mostly relieved.

Leo couldn't stop grinning and muttering, "Classic. Classic." He received a smack on the arm from Kira.

Only Hazel seemed scandalized, maybe because she was from the 1940s. She kept fanning her face and wouldn't meet Percy's eyes. Kira smiled at the girl, happy with their new-found friendship.

"Never in my life!" Coach bellowed, waving his bat and knocking over a plate of apples. "Against the rules! Irresponsible!"

"Coach," Annabeth said, "it was an accident. We were talking, and we fell asleep."

"Besides," Percy said, "you're starting to sound like Terminus."

Hedge narrowed his eyes. "Is that an insult, Jackson? 'Cause I'll—I'll terminus you, buddy!"

Percy tried not to laugh. "It won't happen again, Coach. I promise. Now, don't we have other things to discuss?"

Hedge fumed. "Fine! But I'm watching you, Jackson. And you, Annabeth Chase, I thought you had more sense—"

Jason cleared his throat. "So grab some food, everybody. Let's get started."

Percy told them about his dream—the twin giants planning a reception for them in an underground parking lot with rocket launchers; Nico di Angelo trapped in a bronze jar, slowly dying from asphyxiation with pomegranate seeds at his feet.

Hazel choked back a sob. "Nico... Oh, gods. The seeds."

"You know what they are?" Annabeth asked.

Hazel nodded. "He showed them to me once. They're from our stepmother's garden."

"Your step... oh," Percy said. "You mean Persephone."

"The seeds are a last-resort food," Hazel said. Kira could tell she was nervous, because all the silverware on the table was starting to move toward her. "Only children of Hades can eat them. Nico always kept some in case he got stuck somewhere. But if he's really imprisoned—"

"The giants are trying to lure us," Annabeth said. "They're assuming we'll try to rescue him."

"Well, they're right!" Hazel looked around the table, her confidence apparently crumbling. "Won't we?"

"Yes, of course, Hazel," Kira reassured her calmly.

"Yes!" Coach Hedge yelled with a mouthful of napkins. "It'll involve fighting, right?"

"Hazel, of course we'll help him," Frank said. "But how long do we have before...uh, I mean, how long can Nico hold out?"

"One seed a day," Hazel said miserably. "That's if he puts himself in a death trance."

"A death trance?" Annabeth scowled. "That doesn't sound fun."

"It keeps him from consuming all his air," Hazel said. "Like hibernation, or a coma. One seed can sustain him one day, barely."

"And he has five seeds left," Percy said. "That's five days, including today. The giants must have planned it that way, so we'd have to arrive by July first. Assuming Nico is hidden somewhere in Rome—"

"That's not much time," Piper summed up. She put her hand on Hazel's shoulder. "We'll find him. At least we know what the lines of the prophecy mean now. 'Twins snuff out the angel's breath, who holds the key to endless death.' Your brother's last name: di Angelo. Angelo is Italian for 'angel.'"

"Oh, gods," Hazel muttered. "Nico..."

"We'll rescue him," Percy promised her. "We have to. The prophecy says he holds the key to endless death,"

"And," Kira spoke up, looking around the table. "Because he's a demigod, and his life is worth saving, even if he didn't have the key,"

"That's right," Piper said encouragingly. "Hazel, your brother went searching for the Doors of Death in the Underworld, right? He must've found them."

"He can tell us where the doors are," Percy said, "and how to close them."

Hazel took a deep breath. "Yes. Good."

"Uh..." Leo shifted in his chair. "One thing. The giants are expecting us to do this, right? So we're walking into a trap?"

Hazel looked at Leo like he'd made a rude gesture. "We have no choice!"

"Don't get me wrong, Hazel. It's just that your brother, Nico... he knew about both camps, ri..?"

Kira glowered at him. Most of the demigods were staring at her, they had never seen her so mad, other then at Medea's golden dragons or the enchiladas giant.

Leo trailed off when he saw her face, his mouth drying.

"Well, yes," Hazel said.

Jason sat forward, his expression grim. "You're wondering if we can trust the guy. So am I."

Hazel shot to her feet. "I don't believe this. He's my brother. He brought me back from the Underworld, and you don't want to help him?"

Frank put his hand on her shoulder. "Nobody's saying that." He glared at Leo. "Nobody had better be saying that."

Leo blinked. "Look, guys. All I mean is—"

Kira and Piper were in a silent conversation, both wondering how their boyfriends were being so insensitive and ignorant.

"Hazel," Jason said. "Leo is raising a fair point. I remember Nico from Camp Jupiter. Now I find out he also visited Camp Half-Blood. That does strike me as... well, a little shady. Do we really know where his loyalties lie? We just have to be careful."

Hazel's arms shook. A silver platter zoomed toward her and hit the wall to her left, splattering scrambled eggs. "You...the great Jason Grace...the praetor I looked up to. You were supposed to be so fair, such a good leader. And now you..." Hazel stomped her foot and stormed out of the mess hall.

"Hazel!" Leo called after her. "Ah, jeez. I should—"

"You've done enough," Frank growled. He got up to follow her, but Piper gestured for him to wait.

"Give her time," Piper advised. Then she frowned at Leo and Jason. "You guys, that was pretty cold."

Jason looked shocked. "Cold? I'm just being cautious!"

"Her brother is dying!" Kira cried, glaring at Leo. He went pale.

"I'll go talk to her," Frank insisted.

"No," Piper said. "Let her cool down first. Trust me on this. I'll go check on her in a few minutes."

"But..." Frank huffed like an irritated bear. "Fine. I'll wait."

From up above came a whirring sound like a large drill.

"That's Festus," Leo said. "I've got him on autopilot, but we must be nearing Atlanta. I'll have to get up there...uh, assuming we know where to land."

Everyone turned to Percy.

Jason raised an eyebrow. "You're Captain Salt Water. Any ideas from the expert?"

"I'm not sure," Percy admitted. "Somewhere central, high up so we can get a good view of the city. Maybe a park with some woods? We don't want to land a warship in the middle of downtown. I doubt even the Mist could cover up something that huge."

Leo looked to Kira, nervous to leave her while she was mad. She was glaring at her eggs and pancakes, as if they had killed her dog. He gulped and nodded. "On it." He raced for the stairs.

"When we land, I'll scout around in Atlanta," Percy said. "Frank, I could use your help."

"You mean turn into a dragon again? Honestly, Percy, I don't want to spend the whole quest being everyone's flying taxi."

Kira felt bad for Frank.

"No," Percy said. "I want you with me because you've got the blood of Poseidon. Maybe you can help me figure out where to find salt water. Besides, you're good in a fight."

That seemed to make Frank feel a little better. "Sure. I guess."

"Great," Percy said. "We should take one more. Annabeth—"

"Oh, no!" Coach Hedge barked. "Young lady, you are grounded."

Annabeth stared at him like he was speaking a foreign language. "Excuse me?"

"You and Jackson are not going anywhere together!" Hedge insisted. He glared at Percy, daring him to mouth off. "I'll go with Frank and Mr. Sneaky Jackson. The rest of you guard the ship and make sure Annabeth doesn't break any more rules!"

Kira pressed her lips together, trying not to laugh.

"This," Percy said, "is going to be so much fun."

"Um," Kira said. "You guys mind if I tag along? I need air."

At first Percy looked like he was going protest, but when he saw how miserable she looked, he nodded. He knew throwing her into some fighting would raise her spirits.

Coach fist pumped the air. "Yeah!" He yelled. "Willows knows how to kick butt!"

Kira managed a smile.

She cleaned up, throwing her camo pants from the Hunters of Artemis on, and plain gray shirt.

She joined Percy and Frank at the deck, which meant she would see Leo. She wasn't planning on holding a grudge, she was a forgive-forget person, but she expected an apology.

They had landed near the summit of a forested hill. A complex of white buildings, like a museum or a university, nestled in a grove of pines to the left. Below them spread the city of Atlanta—a cluster of brown and silver downtown skyscrapers two miles away, rising from what looked like an endless flat sprawl of highways, railroad tracks, houses, and green swathes of forest.

"Ah, lovely spot." Coach Hedge inhaled the morning air. "Good choice, Valdez."

Leo shrugged. "I just picked a tall hill. That's a presidential library or something over there. At least that's what Festus says."

"I don't know about that!" Hedge barked. "But do you realize what happened on this hill? Frank Zhang, you should know!"

Frank flinched. "I should?"

"A son of Ares stood here!" Hedge cried indignantly.

"I'm Roman...so Mars, actually."

"Whatever! Famous spot in the American Civil War!"

"I'm Canadian, actually."

"Uh, coach?" Kira asked, frowning.

"What?" He asked, annoyed that she interrupted their guy talk.

"I'm the child of Ares? And American?"

"Huh?" Coach asked like she spoke another language. "Anyways, General Sherman, Union leader. He stood on this hill watching the city of Atlanta burn. Cut a path of destruction all the way from here to the sea. Burning, looting, pillaging—now there was a demigod!"

Kira rolled her eyes. She felt Leo watching her.

Frank inched away from the satyr. "Uh, okay."

"Anyway," Percy said, "let's try not to burn down the city this time."

The coach looked disappointed. "All right. But where to?"

Percy pointed toward downtown. "When in doubt, start in the middle."

Leo caught Kira's arm as she was about to leave.

"Kira," He said, his chocolate eyes sad. "I'm sorry,"

Seeing how upset Leo was, her anger sizzled out.

"I'm sorry I got angry," She told him, failing to stop a small smile from appearing. "We'll talk when I get back, okay?"

Leo nodded, his spirits lifted now that he knew she wasn't going to dump him.

The three demigods and the satyr made it to Carter Center alive.

One of the librarians, whose name was Esther, insisted on driving them personally. She was so nice about it, Kira thought she must be a monster in disguise; but Hedge pulled Percy aside and assured him that Esther smelled like a normal human.

They piled into Esther's big black Cadillac and drove toward downtown. Esther was so tiny, she could barely see over the steering wheel; but that didn't seem to bother her. She muscled her car through traffic while regaling them with stories about the crazy families of Atlanta—the old plantation owners, the founders of Coca-Cola, the sports stars, and the CNN news people.

"Uh, so, Esther," Percy said, "here's a hard question for you. Salt water in Atlanta. What's the first thing that comes to mind?"

The old lady chuckled. "Oh, sugar. That's easy. Whale sharks!"

The demigods exhanged looks.

"Whale sharks?" Frank asked nervously. "You have those in Atlanta?"

"At the aquarium, sugar," Esther said. "Very famous! Right downtown. Is that where you wanted to go?"

"Yes," Percy said. "That's where we're going."

Esther dropped them at the main entrance, where a line was already forming. She insisted on giving them her cell phone number for emergencies, money for a taxi ride back to the Carter Center, and a jar of homemade peach preserves, which for some reason she kept in a box in her trunk. Kira stuck the jar in her backpack and thanked Esther gratefully.

As she drove away, Frank said, "Are all people in Atlanta that nice?"

"I love her," Kira mused, smiling at the lady as she drove away.

Hedge grunted. "Hope not. I can't fight them if they're nice. Let's go beat up some whale sharks. They sound dangerous!"

Percy sighed. "Well, I guess we wait in line. Anybody have money?"

Frank checked his pockets. "Three denarii from Camp Jupiter. Five dollars Canadian."

Hedge patted his gym shorts and pulled out what he found. "Three quarters, two dimes, a rubber band and—score! A piece of celery."

He started munching on the celery, eyeing the change and the rubber band like they might be next.

Kira dug in her own pocket, producing a silver business card for the Hunters, five dollars, and a safety pin.

Percy looked nostalgically at the business card.

"Great," Percy said. His own pockets were empty except for his pen/sword, Riptide.

A woman in a blue-and-green Georgia Aquarium shirt came up to them, smiling brightly.

"Ah, VIP visitors!" She had perky dimpled cheeks, thick-framed glasses, braces, and frizzy black hair pulled to the sides in pigtails, so that even though she was probably in her late twenties, she looked like a schoolgirl nerd. Along with her Georgia Aquarium polo shirt, she wore dark slacks and black sneakers, and she bounced on the balls of her feet like she simply couldn't contain her energy. Her name tag read KATE.

"You have your payment, I see," she said. "Excellent!"

"What?" Percy asked.

Kate scooped the three denarii out of Frank's hand. "Yes, that's fine. Right this way!"

She spun and trotted off toward the main entrance.

Percy looked to Kira. "A trap?"

"Probably," Frank said.

"Definitely," Kira mused.

"She's not mortal," Hedge said, sniffing the air. "Probably some sort of goat-eating, demigod-destroying fiend from Tartarus."

"No doubt," Percy agreed.

"Awesome." Hedge grinned. "Let's go."

Kate got them past the ticket queue and into the aquarium with no problem.

"Right this way." Kate grinned at Percy. "It's a wonderful exhibit. You won't be disappointed. So rare we get VIPs."

"Uh, you mean demigods?" Frank asked.

Kate winked at him impishly and put a finger to her mouth. "So over here is the cold-water experience, with your penguins and beluga whales and whatnot. And over there...well, those are some fish, obviously."

For an aquarium worker, she didn't seem to know much or care much about the smaller fish. They passed one huge tank full of tropical species, and when Frank pointed to a particular fish and asked what it was, Kate said, "Oh, those are the yellow ones."

They passed the gift shop. Frank slowed down to check out a clearance table with clothes and toys.

"Take what you want," Kate told him.

Frank blinked. "Really?"

"Of course! You're a VIP!"

Frank hesitated. Then he stuffed some T-shirts in his backpack.

"Dude," Percy said, "what are you doing?"

"Shut up, Jackson," Kira said sweetly, grabbing a sweatshirt and a plush bear that said Georgia Aquarium on the chest for Leo.

"She said I could," Frank whispered. "Besides, I need more clothes. I didn't pack for a long trip!"

He added a snow globe to his stash, which didn't seem like clothing to Percy. Then Frank picked up a braided cylinder about the size of a candy bar.

He squinted at it. "What is—?"

"Chinese handcuffs," Percy said.

Frank, who was Chinese Canadian, looked offended. "How is this Chinese?"

"I don't know," Percy said. "That's just what it's called. It's like a gag gift."

"Come along, boys!" Kate called from across the hall.

"I'll show you later," Kira promised.

Frank stuffed the handcuffs in his backpack, and they kept walking.

They passed through an acrylic tunnel. Fish swam over their heads, and Kira looked at them with childish bliss before seeing how uncomfortable Percy was.

She nudged his arm. "Percy, you good?" She whispered so Kate couldn't hear them.

He looked shocked as if he wasn't expecting someone to realize he was uncomfortable. He nodded.

They emerged in a viewing room awash with blue light. On the other side of a glass wall was the biggest aquarium tank Percy had ever seen. Cruising in circles were dozens of huge fish, including two spotted sharks. They were fat and slow, with open mouths and no teeth.

"Whale sharks," Coach Hedge growled. "Now we shall battle to the death!"

Kate giggled. "Silly satyr. Whale sharks are peaceful. They only eat plankton."

Kira saw Percy scowl.

"Why are we leading ourselves into a trap, again?" She whispered to Frank and Percy. All she got were two "Shut up"'s.

"Peaceful sharks?" The coach said with disgust. "What's the point of that?"

Frank read the plaque next to the tank. "The only whale sharks in captivity in the world," he mused. "That's kind of amazing."

"Yes, and these are small," Kate said. "You should see some of my other babies out in the wild."

"Your babies?" Frank asked.

Judging from the wicked glint in Kate's eyes, Percy was pretty sure he didn't want to meet Kate's babies. He decided it was time to get to the point. He didn't want to go any farther into this aquarium than he had to.

"So, Kate," he said, "we're looking for a guy...I mean a god, named Phorcys. Would you happen to know him?"

Kate snorted. "Know him? He's my brother. That's where we're going, sillies. The real exhibits are right through here."

She gestured at the far wall. The solid black surface rippled, and another tunnel appeared, leading through a luminous purple tank.

She strolled along.

Kira looked back at her company nervously.

Nevertheless, they continued deeper into the trap. The known trap, might Kira add.

As soon as they entered, Coach Hedge whistled. "Now that's interesting."

Gliding above them were multicolored jellyfish the size of trash cans, each with hundreds of tentacles that looked like silky barbed wire. One jellyfish had a paralyzed ten-foot-long swordfish tangled in its grasp. The jellyfish slowly wrapped its tendrils tighter and tighter around its prey.

Kate beamed at Coach Hedge. "You see? Forget the whale sharks! And there's much more."

Kate led them into an even larger chamber, lined with more aquariums. On one wall, a glowing red sign proclaimed: DEATH IN THE DEEP SEAS! Sponsored by Monster Donut.

"Monster Donut?" Percy asked, reading the sign for Kira, who didn't bother because of her dyslexia.

"Oh, yes," Kate said. "One of our corporate sponsors."

In one aquarium, a dozen hippocampi—horses with the tails of fish—drifted aimlessly.

"This isn't right," Percy muttered.

Kira turned and saw something even worse. At the bottom of a smaller tank, two Nereids—female sea spirits—sat cross-legged, facing each other, playing a game of Go Fish. They looked incredibly bored. Their long green hair floated listlessly around their faces. Their eyes were half closed.

"How can you keep them here?" Percy glared at Kate.

"I know." Kate sighed. "They aren't very interesting. We tried to teach them some tricks, but with no luck, I'm afraid. I think you'll like this tank over here much better."

Kira looked at them, her eyes becoming sad with the thought of them enclosed forever.

"Holy mother of goats!" cried Coach Hedge. "Look at these beauties!"

He was gawking at two sea serpents—thirty-foot-long monsters with glowing blue scales and jaws that could have bitten a whale shark in half. In another tank, peeking out from its cement cave, was a squid the size of an eighteen-wheeler, with a beak like a giant bolt cutter.

A third tank held a dozen humanoid creatures with sleek seal bodies, doglike faces, and human hands. They sat on the sand at the bottom of the tank, building things out of Legos, though the creatures seemed just as dazed as the Nereids.

"Are those—?" Percy struggled to form the question.

"Telkhines?" Kate said. "Yes! The only ones in captivity."

"But they fought for Kronos in the last war!" Percy said. "They're dangerous!"

Kate rolled her eyes. "Well, we couldn't call it 'Death in the Deep Seas' if these exhibits weren't dangerous. Don't worry. We keep them well sedated."

"Sedated?" Frank asked. "Is that legal?"

Kira's heart skipped a beat, her hand hovering over her necklace.

"And these sea monsters," Kate narrated up ahead, "can grow five hundred feet long in the deep ocean. They have over a thousand teeth. And these? Their favorite food is demigod—"

"Demigod?" Frank yelped.

"But they will eat whales or small boats, too." Kate turned to Percy and blushed. "Sorry...I'm such a monster nerd! I'm sure you know all this, being the son of Poseidon, and all."

"Who are you?" Percy demanded. "Does Kate stand for something?"

"Kate?" She looked momentarily confused. Then she glanced at her name tag. "Oh..." She laughed. "No, it's—"

"Hello!" said a new voice, booming through the aquarium.

A small man scuttled out of the darkness. He walked sideways on bowed legs like a crab, his back hunched, his arms raised on either side like he was holding invisible plates.

He wore a wet suit that was several horrible shades of green. Glittery silver words printed down the side read: PORKY'S FOLLIES. A headset microphone was clamped over his greasy wiry hair. His eyes were milky blue, one higher than the other, and though he smiled, he didn't look friendly—more like his face was being peeled back in a wind tunnel.

"Visitors!" the man said, the word thundering through the microphone. He had a DJ's voice, deep and resonant, which did not at all match his appearance. "Welcome to Phorcys's Follies!"

He swept his arms in one direction, as if directing their attention to an explosion. Nothing happened.

"Curse it," the man grumbled. "Telkhines, that's your cue! I wave my hands, and you leap energetically in your tank, do a synchronized double spin, and land in pyramid formation. We practiced this!"

The sea demons paid him no attention.

Coach Hedge leaned toward the crab man and sniffed his glittery wet suit. "Nice outfit."

He didn't sound like he was kidding. Of course, the satyr wore gym uniforms for fun.

"Thank you!" The man beamed. "I am Phorcys."

Frank shifted his weight from foot to foot. "Why does your suit say Porky?"

Phorcys snarled. "Stupid uniform company! They can't get anything right."

Kate tapped her name tag. "I told them my name was Keto. They misspelled it as Kate. My brother...well, now he's Porky."

"I am not!" the man snapped. "I'm not even a little porky. The name doesn't work with Follies, either. What kind of show is called Porky's Follies? But you folks don't want to hear us complain. Behold, the wondrous majesty of the giant killer squid!"

He gestured dramatically toward the squid tank. This time, fireworks shot off in front of the glass right on cue, sending up geysers of golden sparkles. Music swelled from the loudspeakers. The lights brightened and revealed the wondrous majesty of an empty tank.

The squid had apparently skulked back into its cave.

"Curse it!" Phorcys yelled again. He wheeled on his sister. "Keto, training the squid was your job. Juggling, I said. Maybe a bit of flesh-rending for the finale. Is that too much to ask?"

"He's shy," Keto said defensively. "Besides, each of his tentacles has sixty-two razorlike barbs that have to be sharpened daily." She turned toward Frank. "Did you know the monstrous squid is the only beast known to eat demigods whole, armor and all, without getting indigestion? It's true!"

Frank stumbled away from her, hugging his gut as if making sure he was still in one piece.

"Keto!" Porky snapped—literally, since he clicked his fingers to his thumbs like crab claws. "You'll bore our guests with so much information. Less education, more entertainment! We've discussed this."

"But—"

"No buts! We're here to present 'Death in the Deep Seas!' Sponsored by Monster Donut!"

The last words reverberated through the room with extra echo. Lights flashed. Smoke clouds billowed from the floor, making donut-shaped rings that smelled like real donuts.

"Available at the concession stand," Phorcys advised. "But you've spent your hard-earned denarii to get the VIP tour, and so you shall! Come with me!"

"Um, hold it," Percy said.

Phorcys's smile melted in an ugly way. "Yes?"

"You're a sea god, aren't you?" Percy asked. "Son of Gaea?"

The crab man sighed. "Five thousand years, and I'm still known as Gaea's little boy. Never mind that I'm one of the oldest sea gods in existence. Older than your upstart father, by the way. I'm god of the hidden depths! Lord of watery terrors! Father of a thousand monsters! But, no...nobody even knows me. I make one little mistake, supporting the Titans in their war, and I'm exiled from the ocean—to Atlanta, of all places."

"We thought the Olympians said Atlantis," Keto explained. "Their idea of a joke, I guess, sending us here instead."

Percy narrowed his eyes. "And you're a goddess?"

"Keto, yes!" She smiled happily. "Goddess of sea monsters, naturally! Whales, sharks, squids, and other giant sea life, but my heart always belonged to the monsters. Did you know that young sea serpents can regurgitate the flesh of their victims and keep themselves fed for up to six years on the same meal? It's true!"

Frank was still clutching his stomach like he was going to be sick.

Coach Hedge whistled. "Six years? That's fascinating."

"I know!" Keto beamed.

"And how exactly does a killer squid rend the flesh from its victims?" Hedge asked. "I love nature."

"Oh, well—"

"Stop!" Phorcys demanded. "You're ruining the show! Now, witness our Nereid gladiators fight to the death!"

A mirrored disco ball descended into the Nereid exhibit, making the water dance with multicolored light. Two swords fell to the bottom and plunked in the sand. The Nereids ignored them and kept playing Go Fish.

"Curse it!" Phorcys stomped his legs sideways.

Keto grimaced at Coach Hedge. "Don't mind Porky. He's such a windbag. Come with me, my fine satyr. I'll show you full-color diagrams of the monsters' hunting habits."

"Excellent!"

Before Percy could object, Keto led Coach Hedge away through a maze of aquarium glass, leaving Kira, Percy, and Frank alone with the crabby sea god.

Kira smiled warily.

Oh my gods! Thank you guys so much for one hundred votes :))

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