***Favvv person in the whole wide world up there playing Ella ♥***
Chapter Fourteen –
“I’m not repeating myself.” Caleb snarled, glaring back at my snickering face.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to regain a serious demeanour. It lasted for a few seconds before I burst out laughing again. “Snuffles?” I managed to choke out.
Caleb scowled. “I knew I shouldn’t have said that one.”
“No! No, I’m sorry.” I tried to be serious again, breathing in really heavily to get rid of the laugh that was threatening to escape again.
“My sister made me keep her.” Caleb justified in a firm tone.
My grin widened. “Made you keep… a toy unicorn that you named snuffles and… sleep with it every night…”
“I was nine years old and she made a convincing argument. Stop giving me shit, it’s your turn.” Caleb snapped, glaring.
“Do you still have it?” I asked curiously.
“Your turn.” He repeated, avoiding the question.
“Fine.” I pouted. “Okay… um, when I was about 11, my neighbours bought a kitten and I stole it a few hours later and made a secret house in my room because I thought they weren’t taking care of him properly. My parents found out that night and took him back. I cried for a week.”
Caleb stared at me for a moment, before a felt a pillow bounce off my face. I frowned and threw it back at him. “What the hell was that for?!”
“That’s nowhere near as embarrassing as my story! Say another one. That one doesn’t count.”
“What- It’s not my fault! I didn’t have any siblings to trick me into stuff like that.” I argued. “Plus, it’s unfair if I take two turns in a row. Hey, you’ve never mentioned that you’ve had a sister before.” I frowned, relaying his defensive argument in my head.
“That’s because I’ve never wanted to.”
“Come on,” I groaned, wiggling closer towards him while still managing to keep my legs crossed. “We’ve been at this for two hours now! I practically know the layout of your entire childhood bedroom and your kindergarten’s teacher’s name! It’s time to get into the big stuff.” I insisted.
“Coincidentally, the ‘big stuff’ just so happens to fall on my turn then?”
I nodded innocently, studying his facial expression with a hopeful look of my own.
His eyes narrowed towards me for a few moments before he sighed, scratching the back of his neck. “I don’t know how.”
I blinked back at him, waiting for him to continue his sentence. “How to what?”
“How to… talk about it…” He trailed off, muttering something under his breath.
“Just, uh… relay the memory in your mind and tell me what you remember.” I tried.
“Okay. My sister killed herself.”
I choked on my own saliva as my eyes widened. “O- Oh.” I cleared my throat, still trying to recover from the initial shock. “I’m so sorry…” I whispered in remorse.
“Your turn.” Caleb muttered.
“What? No, Caleb. You need to tell me what happened.”
“Why?” He snapped. “It was a long time ago, and it’s not going to change anything if I tell you.”
“You’re right, it won’t. But it’ll help me be here for you instead of keeping everything bottled up inside you.” I murmured sympathetically.
“Don’t start using that tone with me. And stop looking at me like that as well. I don’t need your empathy.” He scowled.
I frowned, growing angry with his sudden approach. “You were fine five minutes ago! Go back to being your civil self that doesn’t have anger issues and tell me what happened. If you don’t, I don’t tell you my story.”
“Fine.” He growled, before shoving a bunch of potato chips into his mouth. I waited as he chewed them loudly, then swallowed in the same manner.
“Are you done?” I asked sardonically.
He nodded with a sarcastic smile before looking down at the bag of chips in front of him. “When we were younger, my mother started drinking real bad. She was always drunk or severely hung over. Ness – My sister, Vanessa, always tried to shield me away from seeing my mother at her worst. Most of the time her attempts failed. My mum would always come into our room before we slept and gave us each a kiss goodnight and told us she loved us. I didn’t notice it then… but it used to affect Nessa a lot.”
Caleb frowned at the memory before his jaw clenched. “My dad was always working. We barely saw him; I think that’s what made my mother start drinking. When he did make an appearance, they’d start fighting and he’d storm out of the house while she’d start crying. Vanessa was always there for me when it happened. She’d take me to our room and she’d hug me while making up a weird story that would always make me laugh.” He smiled to himself, like he was reliving a past memory with his sister.
“My mum died when I was 8 years old. Apparently some fucking dick spiked her drink at the bar. The drug, on top of her excessive amount of alcohol she consumed that night took its toll on her really bad. She died before they could even get her to the hospital.”
“Caleb I’m so sorry.” I whispered, reaching out to put a comforting hand on top of his own.
He shook his head repeatedly, disregarding the gesture. “We should have seen it coming. It was expected.” A bitter tone rang out.
“She was still your mom at the end of the day. She loved you, and you loved her. You can never get over that; no matter how much you try to cover it up with anger.” I stated, giving him a knowing look. He didn’t answer, and we sat in silence for a few minutes while the story sunk in. “I’m here for you, you know. If you want to talk about her to me; I’m here.”
“I don’t want to talk about her.” Caleb muttered, avoiding eye contact.
“Okay. I was just letting you know.” I sighed. “Wait, I thought you said your sister killed… oh my god.” I whispered, looking back at him with wide eyes.
Caleb met my eyes then, knowing that I had come to the realisation I had come to. “After that, we had to move in with our grandmother because my dad still didn’t think taking care of his own children was more important than work. Vanessa wasn’t adjusting well to the change – or to my mother’s death. She started hanging out with the wrong people. She came home really early morning or sometimes didn’t come back for a few days at all. It made my grandmother worried sick.”
“What about your dad?” I asked hesitantly.
A harsh laugh escaped Caleb’s lips. “My ‘dad’ never even visited us after we moved. The only sign of him still existing was the money he sent my grandmother every week to feed and clothe us. I think that was another reason Vanessa did… what she did. I… I still remember the day I accidentally walked into the bathroom and caught her cutting herself. Her wrists… they were-” he cleared his throat, “you couldn’t see the skin anymore. The blood covered her arms and it was dripping… onto the floor, in the sink, sinking into her clothes. She was wearing light blue jeans. The blood turned brown on them. It looked so out of place.”
“You can’t imagine. I was 8 years old. Watching my sister hurt herself. It didn’t fit in my mind. She was Nessa. Funny story-telling, comforting, cheerful Nessa who would make me my favourite mustard and beef sandwich whenever I got hungry or was feeling down. I still remember the look on her face when she turned around and saw me standing at the door. Her eyeliner and mascara had run down her face from her tears and she had blood smeared on her face. But her eyes. They were wide with shock – like she didn’t know what to do then.”
“I remember whispering her name and I started to cry. I thought someone had hurt her. I didn’t know anyone could do that to themselves at the time. I remember her apologising repeatedly and telling me how much she loved me. I took that as a sign that she was okay. She was good. Because despite hating her new life; Vanessa would always smile and act like everything was okay around me. Just so I could be happy. She passed out after telling me she loved me for the last time. Later on, the paramedics had told us that she had lost too much blood from previous cuts and was suffering from severe depression. It’s what killed her, you know. Not talking to anyone about it. Thinking she was all alone.”
My throat felt thick from the tears that were threatening to spill. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” I repeated, swallowing the heavy feeling. “No child should ever see that, and no one should go through something so tragic. I’m so sorry.”
“I should have done something. Something to save her. I should have noticed she was in trouble.”
“Do not blame it on yourself, Caleb. You were eight years old. You could not have possibly seen beyond what she was projecting to you. You couldn’t have done anything. I think the fact that you loved and depended on her so much is what kept her alive for longer…”
He shook his head. “If I had spoken up, or – or stopped my mother from leaving the night she died; Nessa would still be here. With me. I wouldn’t be in this stupid college with the worst man on this fucking Earth and we’d be as close as we were before she left me.” I opened my mouth to attempt to comfort him, but he continued talking. “Do you want to know what my father did when he found out Vanessa died? Hm? Do you want to know how he reacted to the news of his own flesh and blood dying?”
Caleb’s pupils had dilated from fury, and his jaw was clenched again when he looked up at me for an answer. Too afraid to do anything else, I nodded once shortly for him to continue. “My grandmother called and told him Vanessa had died from too much blood loss and explained that his daughter was going through depression. He swore over the phone and started complaining that he’s lost too much money on funerals this year. His wife and eldest daughter had died and the only thing that crossed his fucking mind was his money.”
My shock at Caleb’s anger was now replaced with my own rage. “You’re fucking kidding me.” I muttered to myself, grinding my teeth together in anger.
“Do you see why I hate the man now?” The sarcastic, angry smile returned to his face for a fraction of a second, before he clenched his fists. “My grandmother was just as angry at him. She told him not to worry about paying for anything and that she would take care of it all herself. She then told him he wasn’t invited and shut the phone in his face. It’s not like he was going to attend anyway; he didn’t even go to my mother’s one when she had passed. My grandmother used almost all her savings on Nessa’s funeral. She said she only deserved the best; I wasn’t arguing with that.”
“She sounds like she deserved the best.” I murmured.
“She would have loved you if you two ever met. You’re both cynical in your own little ways and both eat what I think is equivalent to a blue whale.” The small smile that appeared on Caleb’s lips was now a genuine one, filled with sadness and grief.
I returned the smile and hit his arm lightly. “Don’t be a butt head.”
“Butt head? Are you re-living legally blonde?”
“See, the fact that you can distinguish that the insult is from that movie so quickly is worrying.” I raised my eyebrows at him.
“Everyone can quote that movie.” Caleb pointed out.
“That’s true.” I laughed softly, before tracing an invisible pattern on the pillow in my lap. “How old… How old was Vanessa when she passed?” I asked quietly.
“She had just turned 14. Not an age someone should be going through what she did.”
I nodded in agreement and swallowed back the thick feeling in my throat again. “I’m so sorry.”
“Thank you. It means a lot to me that you stayed and listened.” Caleb nodded. “If you tell anyone else though, I’ll kick you out of my dorm room.” He threatened, frowning slightly.
A flat look fell over my features. “Why do you even think I’m going to tell anyone?!”
“You’ve been awfully close with Nora lately.” He pointed out as his argument.
“So?! I barely tell her anything. She’s nice to be around, that’s all. You should be happy that we have such an amazing friend. I thought she would’ve known though… about everything…” I trailed off.
“There are limits you aren’t supposed to cross with some people.” He ended the conversation there. “I just poured out my entire soul to you. It’s your turn now.” He glared.
I blinked at his facial expression for a moment before looking back down at the pillow in my lap. “Mine isn’t as bad as yours.” I murmured.
“I still want to know what it is. You’ve been sitting on this secret for six months now! I can usually figure out what people are hiding in the blink of an eye. I wasn’t able to do that with you; so start talking.” He insisted in a firm tone.
“Okay, okay. Geez. So eager.” I mumbled in annoyance. “Okay, what do you know already so I know not to waste my time repeating anything?” I asked.
Caleb bit his bottom lip in thought, and I felt my eyes focus on the movement in an instant. Caleb noticed the little gesture as well, and smirked in response. I looked back up at him with wide eyes, blushing slightly at the fact that I was caught admiring his lips.
Caleb continued smirking as he licked his teeth while still thinking and I groaned. “I can physically feel the air decreasing in the room as your head grows bigger.”
“Would you like me to give you mouth to mouth? Maybe that’ll help.” He smiled slyly.
“Shut up.” I mumbled, blushing again.
Caleb gave me one last teasing look before speaking up. “I know your parents were murdered in your house by a group of men. I know one of them is in prison and you help put him there because you found relevant evidence to the case. I know you were 17 at the time and stayed with a foster family for a few months until you turned 18 and graduated high school.”
“Okay. So basically what everyone else knows.” I spoke.
He nodded in confirmation. “What are you hiding?”
“I’m not hiding anything.” I grumbled, rubbing the side of my arm. “I’m just… withholding information that will put me into a protection program.” I muttered sarcastically under my breath.
“What the hell happened to you…” Caleb spoke slowly, his eyes narrowing at my words.
“Okay, um – well, I don’t know how to start.” I let out a frustrated sigh and blew my hair out of my face with my bottom lip.
Caleb looked at me in amusement. “What was that old saying again? Oh that’s right, ‘just, uh… relay the memory in your mind and tell me what you remember’.”
“Ha-Ha.” I glared, before a more heavier sigh heaved its way out of my system. “No one knows that I was actually there the night my parents were murdered. I watched them die through the thinnest gap in between the two doors of the cupboard I hid in in the kitchen. My parents were always paranoid that something was going to happen to us. We had super strong locks on every door and window of the house because my dad was beyond paranoid. Looking back at it now, even that wasn’t enough.”
“Why were they paranoid?” Caleb asked.
“Right, sorry. I should have mentioned that first. My uncle Richard got into some trouble with some ‘powerful’ men, apparently. My dad had cut all communications with him once Richard told him that he was in trouble. It was a money thing. My dad didn’t want to be involved. He had my mom and me to consider; unlike my uncle, who would sleep with random women all the time. We found out a few months prior to my parents’ death that Richard had been killed because he wasn’t able to comply with the requests of whoever was after him. We had received a letter in the mail. It… uh… it had a finger inside it with my dad’s family ring.” I cringed at the mental image that appeared in my mind as I relayed the event out loud.
“That’s sick.” Caleb looked as disgusted as I had felt at the time.
I nodded, agreeing with him. “With the finger was a threatening note telling my dad he was coming after us next. I mean, I don’t see how it’s fair – how someone could be that sinister and cruel. He wanted to kill everything that was associated with my uncle just to prove a point. Except, my uncle was dead; he wasn’t going to be affected by the losses. I was. My mom and dad were so brave that night. As soon as they heard something fall at the back of the house, they told me to hide in the cupboard. It had just been emptied because my mom had an OCD about scrubbing the shelves every two days.”
I could feel the tears begin to blur my vision and I looked up at Caleb while trying to steady my heavy breathing. “Do I… Do I have to get into that night?” I asked with a weak voice.
Caleb’s eyes were filled with sympathy as he studied me closely. I think it must have come to a shock to him that I was able to cry. “No, no you don’t need to get into that night. I understand.” This time, it was his turn to put a comforting hand over my own.
“Thank you.” I murmured, my voice barely coming out. I cleared my throat, attempting to remove the thick feeling that settled around my voice box. “I witnessed my parents being murdered. Saw the faces of the men who killed them. They had sent three men in total. I guess one for each family member. The third guy searched the entire house for me and wasn’t able to find me. They thought I had ran away considering I had left half an eaten piece of chicken on my plate. When they left, I just sat – frozen – in the cramp little space I was hiding in until it registered in my mind what had happened. Because of that night – because I stayed inside that little cupboard while my parents’ throats were being slit open instead of doing something – I’m still being hunted by whoever those men are.”
I shook my head, trying to regain my normal composure in front of Caleb. “I should have died. I should have stayed and defended my parents as much as I could. I shouldn’t have listened to my dad.”
“Ella. Don’t be stupid. You would’ve killed your father if you had stayed and let those men murder you in front of him. I don’t know the man, but I’m sure he would not want you to blame his death – or your mothers’ – on yourself.” Caleb stated fiercely, frowning in anger at my viewpoint of the situation.
“I still should have helped.” I whispered, looking down at the plain pillow.
“You did what you were supposed to do. Your father and mother would have wanted you to stay hidden and safe.” Caleb stated firmly.
I looked up and met his eyes, only then realising how much he meant the words coming out of his mouth. “Thank you, Caleb.” I gave him a small smile, hoping it showed my appreciation.
He nodded back in response before a look of realisation settled onto his face. “Is that why you moved here?”
I nodded meekly; he was starting to figure me out all on his own now.
“So they had found you back in Michigan… Who were you staying with?” He asked curiously.
“I was with Dylan most of the time. I stayed at my friend Sasha’s place as well and had a dorm room at college for a while. Once they found out I was still alive and in Michigan though, it wasn’t hard for them to keep finding me – no matter where I went. I had to move so they wouldn’t come after anyone else I cared about.” I explained as an aching feeling rose to my chest. I missed my home.
“And Dylan thinks they’ll find you here…” Caleb trailed off, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.
I frowned. “What’s that look for?”
“I don’t know… it just seems odd that they were able to find you while you were close with Dylan, and now he thinks they’re going to find you here.” He muttered, more to himself than me.
I gave him a flat look. “Dylan is not associated with them in any way. Don’t accuse him of that again. He’s the one who helped me get through this more than anyone I’ve come across so far.”
He ignored my warning. “They’re not going to find you this time.”
“You sound sure of yourself.” I raised my eyebrows.
“I am. Because I’m not going to let them. But, you should tell the police Ella.”
“No.” I snapped, glaring at him.
“Why the fuck not?! They’ll help you!” He scowled back.
I shook my head. “They’ll isolate me until they believe the immediate threat is gone. They did that while I was in foster care; it’s not happening again. I want to finish my degree, get a job and figure out who the men are and what they’re associated with on my own.”
“You’re being unreasonable.” Caleb tried.
“I know I am. I’m also being stubborn. They’re not going to stop me from doing everything myself. It’s why I told you I can’t be with you. If I get too attached to you and they find me… I won’t want to leave.”
Caleb scowled. “That’s the stupidest excuse I’ve ever heard.”
“What? How is that stupid? I’m keeping you – and everyone else here – safe!” I exclaimed.
“The only reason I agreed to this cheesy story telling session is so that I could help get a better understanding of you and become your boyfriend. Do you think I wanted to re-live my life in England?! Don’t tell me we just spent five hours talking about our feelings and you’re still deciding to reject me.” He growled in a low voice with a clenched jaw.
I sighed, trying to keep my own anger down. “I don’t recall promising a ‘kiss and get together’ session after we talked.”
“I told you I liked you. That confession alone should have made you mentally make that promise!”
“Caleb-”
“You… you haven’t been lying this entire time about liking me back have you? Because I swear to God Ella if you’ve been stringing me along-”
“Will you be quiet for a minute!” I snapped, letting my anger get the better of me. He fell silent, but still looked at me with a clenched jaw and narrowed eyes. It was at that precise moment that Caleb’s physical appearance had really settled into the visual part of my brain. Why are you rejecting a guy that’s hot and has the hots for you? a small voice inside me spoke.
“I guess… okay, yeah. I guess we could give this dating thing a g-” Caleb cut me off by pulling me into his lap and pressing his lips against mine and wrapping his arms around my waist.
I pulled away with wide eyes and felt a smile tug at the edges of my lips as I looked down at his pleased expression. “You can sleep in my bed if you want. Yours is dreadfully far.”
“You don’t seem eager or anything.” I smirked and placed a quick kiss on his forehead before climbing off of him. “Not tonight buddy.”
Caleb cursed under his breath as I made my way to my bed before a soft object hit my back. I turned around with an exasperated look and threw the pillow back at his face. He caught it effortlessly before giving me a satisfied smirk.
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Another chapter that has been a loyal subject to my writer’s block >.<
How are you guys?!
Sorry I didn’t update sooner. Busy, busy :P haha! Hope you all had a lovely Christmas! And because I won’t update until like another week after the New Year because I’ll be on the beach and with family all week, HAPPY NEW YEAR! Oh my god this year went by so quick damn! I hope 2015 is a good year for all of us! What’s your new year’s resolution? :)
Also btw, I GOT INTO UNIVERSITY! Yay me! Haha woohoo! :D Just thought those who were interested may have wanted to know :P
How’d you like this chapter? Bit of a weird one to me.
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