CHAPTER NINETEEN
Hello?
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone at home?
Come on, now,
I hear you're feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain
And get you on your feet again- Comfortably Numb, Pink Floyd
THREE DAYS WENT BY WITH Chelsea just lying in the hospital bed, with her only getting up to go to the toilet. She still couldn’t get the emptiness in her heart to leave. Just the thought of the accident and what it had taken away from her made her burst into tears that could flow on for hours. And though she hated being weak, she couldn’t stop herself from blaming others. She blamed the truck driver who was now lying dead in the ground; she blamed the person who made the truck in the first place. And she blamed herself.
Most of all, she blamed Jay. Sometimes she blamed him so much that she wished he were dead. Maybe if he hadn’t made her emotional she would have noticed the truck had run a red light instead of worrying about him. She would still have her future set.
God, she almost hated him.
In around thirty minutes she had her first meeting with her psychologist, since Doctor Wayland was impressed with her progress. She didn’t feel impressed with it. In fact, it seemed like the world grew greyer as days went by.
“Hello, Chelsea. My name is Emma,” the psychologist introduced herself softly. She held out her hand but Chelsea didn’t bother taking it. “Okay. Well, I’ve been told of your accident-”
“Who told you?” she interrupted. “I didn’t give anyone permission to tell you anything.”
Emma frowned at her. “As your psychologist, I have the automatic right to-”
“No you don’t.”
“Stop cutting me off, Chelsea, and let me speak,” the shrink said, her voice going gentle again. “We don’t have to talk about what happened today. Tell me about your life before the accident.”
Chelsea sent her a skeptical look. “I was in love with my boyfriend who turned out to be a bastard, I was a straight A+ student and I was going to skip a grade. My brother had just knocked up his sort-of girlfriend too, so I was, and still am, expecting to be an aunty soon. Which kind of sucks now since I’m never going to have a baby of my own.”
Pity crossed the psychologist’s face and she instantly tensed. She’d come to hate that emotion ever since she woke up. It was on everyone’s face when they looked at her, like she was a puppy that had been left by its mother. Chelsea hated anything or anyone that reminded her of the accident, and that pity was like a constant slap to the face.
“It sounds like you had a nice life,” Emma whispered.
“I had a normal life.” No tears came, like they usually did when she thought about before the accident. She just felt hard and cold, like she was watching the scene instead of participating in it.
“We all think that we had a normal life after something shakes it,” was the shrink’s reply. Rolling her eyes, she turned away from the girl. She couldn’t look at her anymore.
Emma was young and beautiful and completely 100% fertile. She had her whole life ahead of her- a husband/partner, a nice house, a good job that helped people and… kids. Chelsea knew that she would never be able to open up to someone that had everything she wanted, especially when they didn’t even appreciate it.
“Have your family come to visit you?” Emma asked.
“Yes.”
“Are you happy about that?”
“Yes. I love them more than anything and it’s nice to know that they care enough to come visit me.”
“You sound angry, Chelsea.” The psychologist smiled knowingly. “Is there someone you want to visit you that hasn’t yet?”
Chelsea glared at her. “That’s none of your business.”
“Ah, so you are mad at someone?”
I’m mad at the world, you stupid woman. Look at what it’s done to me! Of course, you wouldn’t understand because you live in freaking Pleasantville!
“That’s none of your business.” She resorted back to cold, unresponsive answers. Emma was beginning to irritate her with her constant poking around. Even though it was her job.
“Come on, Chelsea, you call tell me anything.”
Chelsea sent her a ‘you’re crazy’ look. “I don’t even know you.”
“But you could know me. I’m going to visit you every day for an hour to talk about your feelings. Soon enough you’ll-”
“Please go now,” she interrupted. “I don’t give a crap what your job is, if you stay any longer I’m going to strangle you so please leave.”
“Our session isn’t over yet,” Emma protested.
“JUST LEAVE!”
After the psychologist left, her head down and her shoulders drooped, Chelsea settled back against her pillow with a relieved sigh. It was nice to be alone and in the quiet.
That didn’t last long, of course.
“CHELSEA! OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY I HAVEN’T VISITED I’VE BEEN LOOKING AFTER THE GIRLS AND MY MOM KICKED MY DAD OUT AND OH MY GOD YOU LOST YOUR-”
“Andy,” she sighed, “shut up.”
His face fell. “Sorry. How… How are you?”
Fucking fantastic. “I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Did you just come here to try to get me to talk to you? Cause I just kicked out my shrink and she was a professional. You’ve got no chance.” Chelsea sent him a skeptical look when his smile widened.
“Nice to know that you still act the exact same way as before,” he teased. “I’m not here to get you to pour out your heart to me. I’m here to make you happy again!”
She frowned. “How the hell can I be happy? You know what’s happened to me, you shouldn’t waste your breath.”
“Nothing is a waste when it comes to you, Chelsea. Now let’s get a smile on that face!” Andy clapped his hands together and she somehow got the mental picture of him in a deranged clown costume.
Jay was scared of clowns.
No, she scolded herself, don’t think of him. This is his entire fault.
“It’s not going to happen,” Chelsea warned when he strutted over to her bedside. He just grinned happily and pulled a funny face at her. It made him look like a Chihuahua that had just been squirted with water. His nose was all scrunched up and his eyes were as wide as saucers. She almost laughed.
Almost.
“YES! YOU SMILED! I SAW YOU SMILE! DON’T LIE!” Andy cried and her hands went to her lips. To her horror, they were turned up.
She’d smiled. For the first time in over a week, one of her friend’s being an idiot had made her smile.
“Shut up,” she mumbled, though she couldn’t wipe the smile off of her face. “You’re such a dumbass.”
He faked a wounded look. “I’ll let you know that I’m the smartest in my year!”
“It’s not hard to be the smartest in the year where you go,” Chelsea teased. What was happening to her? Why didn’t she feel empty? Did they drug her?
“Hey! It’s not that bad! You’re just a snobby little private school chick!”
“Am not! I was top of two grades above me when I went to your school! I am not that smart!”
Andy smiled proudly at her and pulled something out of his pocket. “Well, I’m not going to that crappy school anymore. Your school has given me a scholarship for senior year. I can be with you!”
“That’s great! We might even be in the same classes!” she cried in reply, the prospect of being with at least one of her friends that wasn’t avoiding her brightening up her day. Suddenly, not everything was grey.
“Why?” He looked confused. “You’re a year younger than me.”
“I’m skipping a year.” Chelsea’s smile widened. “I’m not sure if I should be offended by your shocked expression.”
“You so are freakishly smart! Why must you be so smart? Why-” he continued to wail for the next ten minutes. She couldn’t help but laugh when he started blaming ice cream for making him procrastinate too much. “I could be as smart as you! I could! I could!”
“Suuure,” she continued to laugh. A satisfied smile crossed Andy’s face.
“I did it!” he sang. “I made you laugh!”
And for the rest of that day, him and his stupid antics made sure that she never stopped.
Chelsea left the hospital after two more observation weeks. She missed her monthly menstrual cycle, like Doctor Wayland predicted, but still got freakishly horrible cramps. They gave her a ton of medication to take for when it came again, but it was so much that she’d probably be sleepy all day.
“Are you sure that you’re okay to come home now?” her dad asked for the tenth time. She wasn’t surprised that when he called her mom about the accident the woman didn’t even bother coming over from London.
“There’s no point,” she had said. “She’s probably already healed.”
Chelsea didn’t really expect her to come and check on her, anyway. Her mom was always too busy to do anything but work.
“I’m fine, Dad. I couldn’t stand being in that hospital any longer.”
“If you’re sure…”
Rolling her eyes, she went over to her familiar bedroom and sighed happily when the glow-in-the-dark stars greeted her. They were comforting and reminded her of better times. The whole room reminded her of when she was an almost-normal teen with no medical problems or a broken heart.
But nothing stayed normal forever. She shouldn’t have been so naive.
Chelsea decided not to go out for dinner and Allison joined her afterwards. They talked until the early hours of the morning before they passed out together on her bed.
*****
I'm sorry that it's so short :(