(y/n pov)
It really wasn't hours later that you were spoken to again. "Y/N?" You turned from the wall you were facing, eyes red and puffy.
"Hey, Lisa," you whispered, voice hoarse. She smiled, closing the door behind you. "Sorry I didn't come down for din--"
"No no," she whispered. She sat down on the bed next to you and handed you a bowl of stir fry. You opened your mouth to deny it. "I don't care if you're not hungry," she said. You gave her a thankful smile and took the bowl.
"Thank you." She shook her head and you began to eat. "Thank you," you mumbled again, between bites.
"Don't worry about it," she whispered. You gave her a smile, a tear rolling down your cheek. She wiped it away. "Would you like to talk about it?" she asked. You looked up at her. You didn't say anything.
"This is really good," you whispered, referring to the food. She smiled, sitting back.
"When you three were little- even then, you were inseparable," she whispered. You looked up. "I remember, the first time your parents had to go out for a business trip and had you sleepover here-- back when you were, like, 6-- the three of you were so excited.
"The twins had the guest room back at the house they grew up at, all set up and ready for you-- the whole day before you came over, it was all they could talk about, like, 'Mom, y/n's coming! y/n's coming!'" You smiled.
"I remember that weekend," you whispered. She smiled. "That was the first time I'd ever slept over anywhere." She nodded.
"Mhm, you were so scared that by the time it got dark, you were crying, and the boys spent forever trying to reassure you that it was fine." You smiled, remembering this. "Do you remember what happened later that night?" You tried to remember. She continued.
"You woke up, I believe, crying," You nodded. "And Gray heard you and came into my room to tell me." Your heart broke at the rest of the memory.
"You didn't come though," you whispered.
"I did, I came by the door, but E was already with you." You looked down. "He was hugging you and pretending to look for monsters around the room because that's what you were afraid of." You wiped at your eyes.
"Yeah, I remember that." She smiled, rubbing your back.
"Did you like him then?" You shook your head. "Later?" You nodded.
"A year later or so," you mumbled. You were both quiet for a moment.
"He never knew," she whispered. "He really, honestly, never knew-- and if he did?" You looked up. "If he did, I know he would've done something."
"Like what?" you asked. "He knows now; what's he gonna do now?"
"He's in love with someone else now, y/n, he's getting married to someone else." You began to cry all over again. "There's nothing he can do-- he doesn't see you like that."
"I should've said something before," you cried. "I'm too late." She pulled you in by the shoulder and rubbed your arm.
"There's nothing to be done now," she whispered. You wiped your eyes. "But move on."
"Move on from eighteen years of-"
"You're going to have to, aren't you?" You looked up. "It's not like he's just going to call off the wedding, tell her that he doesn't want the baby and fall to you, is it? You don't want that." You wiped at your eyes. You didn't.
"Lisa-- everything's so late, now, why didn't I ju-just say something?" She sighed.
"It's hard, to do something like that," she whispered. You cried even harder. "It's okay."
"But it's not okay-- I'm twent-twenty three, and I'm not--" You stopped as you paused to breathe. "I'm twenty-three, where-where am I supposed to find someone else now?" you asked.
"What do you mean?" You looked up at her.
"By-- by the time I find someone else to like, to fall in love with, marry-- it'll, all be too late," You whispered. She sighed. "I'll be like-- thirty," You said. She smiled.
"That's not too late at all." You shook your head.
"You don't- you don't understand, I wanted to be settled before-fore I turned thirty." She pushed some of your hair away from your face. "And now, I'm never gon-gonna find anyone that-"
"Don't say that," she whispered. "You have time, y/n, so much time, don't rush it."
"Ethan's known me since forever-- kno-knows me better than anyone," you whispered. "And even he doesn't love me-- who else will?" She looked at you for a moment. "I'm-- I'm tired of, all of this bullshit, Lisa, I just wanted to tell him, and I ho-hoped he'd feel the same way and I could start-- I don't fucking know what I thought," you cried. She held you close.
"It's okay."
"It's not, it's not okay," you whispered. "Don't say it's okay." You sat in silence, taking deep breaths to calm your breathing.
"Someone's gonna come and love you, just as you love them, okay?" she whispered. "Even if it isn't okay now, it will be." You shook your head.
"I don't-- I made up my mind," you whispered. She met your eye. "I don't want to-- do that whole thing; find someone, fall in love with them, that whole thing."
Her eyebrows furrowed up. "So what do you want to do- I know how bad you want a family y/n."
"Arranged marriage is a thing, isn't it?" She stared at you. "Loads of people do that, and live happily ever afters and fall in love after and shit-"
"But you wanted love so bad, y/n, don't you reme-"
"Not anymore, I don't." She closed her eyes. "I'll talk with my parents about it." Lisa sighed.
"I don't want you to-- to make decisions when you're upset; that never goes well by anyone," she whispered. You let out a long breath.
"Yeah," you whispered. You closed your eyes and wiped your face. "It'll be okay, right?" She smiled, giving you a squeeze.
"Yes, yes it will."
---
The next morning wasn't any easier. Your eyes were even puffier, it'd been so obvious that you'd spent the night crying.
You knew Lisa had come back in at some point. You didnt acknowledge her, nor did she say anything. You'd kept your back to her, facing the wall, hoping she wouldn't ask you anything again. And thankfully, she'd just laid next to you, letting you know she was there if you needed her. And by morning, she wasn't in bed with you.
You'd headed downstairs eventually, and there they were E and his fiancee. You smiled at her. "Hey," you said. She smiled brightly. She had no idea, it seemed. E looked away.
"Hey!" She walked over to you, getting up from the table. "I've heard so much about you!" You smiled at her.
"It's nice to meet you." She tried to hug you, and then it was awkward because you'd stuck out your hand. She shook it and went back to her seat. "Uh, Ethan?" He looked up from whatever he was looking at.
"Yeah?" You looked away as you headed to the fridge.
"Uh-- I've decided that I'm gonna head back to work at that old coffee shop down the street?" He nodded. "So I don't know if I'll have time to, you know--"
"Oh yeah, don't worry about it," he said. You nodded. "We'll hire someone-- thank you though." You nodded.
"Oh, the wedding?" E/F asked. You nodded. "Awh, he was so excited for you to plan it!" You smiled.
"Sorry."
"Hey-" She was just so genuine and lovely. So perfect for E. "Maybe you can plan the baby shower!" You gave her a little smile as you stirred your coffee.
"Maybe," you said with a smile. "Congrats, by the way." She put a hand on her stomach and thanked you.
You passed by Gray on the way back up to your room. "Did Lisa go to work?" you asked. He nodded.
"She said you could go visit her if you wanted- I'm making lunch later though," He said with a smile. You smiled back.
"Thanks, Gray." He shook his head and ruffled your hair as you headed back up. You turned back down. "Oh!" He looked up at you.
"Yeah?"
"Can you drive me later?" He raised an eyebrow. "To Lisa's?" He smiled.
"Yeah, sure; home all day so let me know when." You nodded. "Hey-- you wanna return the favour in advance?" You rolled your eyes.
"By?"
"Helping me build a new pull-up bar?" You smiled. You could use a distraction.
"Didn't you literally have one?"
"I broke it an hour ago." You let out a little laugh. "C'mon, please?"
"Yeah, okay, let me get changed."
---
After you'd visited Lisa, and gone by to that coffee shop you used to work at to confirm the job, Gray drove you right back home for the evening. He'd let you paint the bar-- stain it with wood, really; a little something to help you take your mind off of Ethan.
After you'd come by to let Lisa know you were doing better, and thanking her for the evening prior, she'd come up with a decision herself. You were so set on not trying to date again. And she believed you. It would be way too hard for you to forget E, and date someone new, try to pour all that love into someone else.
Maybe an arranged marriage was for you. And Lisa had the perfect person for you.
"Gray?" She'd caught him while he was in the middle of cooking dinner. Ethan and his fiancee had gone out to eat and so it was just you three.
"Hey, mom," he said with a smile as she set her purse on the counter. "How do I fix this-- I added too much salt," he mumbled, stirring the-- whatever he was making.
"Add some potato, the starch'll soak some of it up, I hope," she said, after tasting it. He nodded, bending down to grab some potatoes. "Gray?"
"Hm?"
"How's y/n doing?" He looked over at her. He sighed.
"Better than yesterday, I hope," He whispered. "She helped me build a new bar, I made her laugh," He said with a hopeful tone. She smiled.
"That's good," Lisa said as she pulled out a few plates. "We talked today." He nodded.
"Yeah." She nodded again.
"She wants to get married." Gray turned.
"Married?"
"Like-- an arranged marriage; she thinks it's better for her to start the relationship and fall in love later." He frowned.
"But I didn't think she was into--" He winced at the taste of his food. "This is, like, really bad, mom." Lisa smiled.
"Oh, you tried." She took over.
"Y/N's the most hopelessly romantic person I know-- she can't possibly want an arranged marriage." Lisa shrugged. "But she won't even know the guy."
"She'll get to know him." Grayson frowned. "Gray- when do you ever plan on settling down?" Grayson's eyebrows bunched up.
"What?"
"E's got his life going, honey, we all thought if anyone were to start a family first-- it'd be you." Grayson looked down.
"I don't know." She looked up at him.
"Hey, Gray?" He looked back at her. "Y/N deserves someone who loves her very much, Gray."
"Of course she does, why wou--" He paused when he realized what his mother was getting at. "You want me to--"
"It was just an idea, Grayson." He blinked. "I'm just worried for her, that's all." He blinked some more.
"Me and y/n-- mom, that's-"
"I don't know, and you don't either until you really think about it." He began to think about it. "I just don't want her to be alone, ever. Even last night, after I'd left, I wanted to go back later in the night, I was scared her emotions would get the best of her." He nodded.
"I kn-"
"And then I fell asleep. I checked on her before I left this morning, and she seemed okay in her room-- I was just scared she might- I don't know, being alone, you don't know what might go through her head." Gray nodded.
"I know, mom." He looked back down at his feet as Lisa turned the stove off. "I was with her."