OKAY, IT IS TIME FOR THE 50k (on wattpad, or 20k on fanfiction) READS CELEBRATION, GUYS! (And I also recently hit 200 Rulers on Wattpad! WOOHOO!) PLEASE ACCEPT THESE THREE RATHER FEELSY ONESHOTS IN RETURN FOR YOUR BRILLIANCE AS READERS/RULERS! I LOVE YOU ALL!
Title: Okay
Pairing: SkyTato [Sky (skydoesminecraft) and Tyler (munchinguniverse)]
Suggested By: Ticci_Toby_forever on Wattpad
Original Prompt: "make a skytato! my life would be completed"
Song: I listened to "Not About Angels" and "Skinny Love" by Birdy.
Genre: Angst, oops
Warnings: None
Word Count: 1,096
Tyler's POV
"It isn't fair!" I cry into my already tear-soaked pillow. And, yeah, maybe I should be over it by now, but how can I be? I don't honestly think I'm capable of getting past this - this may be the one obstacle that actually stops me instead of just slowing me down.
I used to worry about how much of my life revolved around Adam and his general happiness. In fact, I even told him that once, and he just laughed and told me that that just meant I was really, truly in love. At the time, my mind hadn't registered the fact that he'd never said he felt the same. I had just assumed the "really, truly in love" thing was mutual.
But, hey. Sometimes people think wrong.
We're only human, I suppose.
I'm a rather crappy human. Or at least, I certainly feel like I am.
I was fine on that night not long ago. Adam had taken me out to this fancy restaurant, and you know what? I was better than fine, I was so much better. I had been laughing like a crazy person and giggling like a middle school girl (basically the same thing) and staring at Adam like a love-sick puppy. And guess what he was doing? He was laughing along with me! He was telling the jokes that made me giggle, and he was staring right back at me with that entranced look that I always had around him. And we were in love, there is no other word for it. We were in love, deep in love.
But I guess Adam is a better swimmer than me, because he swam out of the pool of our love just like that, and he managed to hop completely around the puddle of depression that I now find myself in. Adam had smiled throughout that entire date night, but at the very end, and I mean the very end, when we were back at my house and he was saying goodnight, he had looked me right in the eye and said, "I had fun tonight, Tyler, and I hope you did, too, but I don't really think we should do this again."
At first I thought he meant he didn't like that restaurant.
Then I realized what he was really trying to say.
And what did I do? I stood there like a frozen idiot because how the heck is one supposed to react when their boyfriend breaks up with them after a beautiful night of innocent perfection? And when I finally snapped out of my trance, Adam was making his way to his car like nothing had happened, like he and I had never cuddled together on a couch while it was raining or kissed in the back of the theater or said too many "I love you"s to even attempt to count. And I called out, "Wait!" And he'd turned with this expression that so clearly said, "I don't give a crap about what you're gonna say, but for the sake of being polite, I'll listen." And he did listen, he listened for about twenty seconds as I asked him why he wanted to leave and then practically begged him to stay because why, why would he want to leave me? Why would he want to leave me when just days ago he had wanted to spend all of forever together?
And, yeah, maybe I cried a little when he shrugged, told me we had lost the 'spark' we had when we first met, and, yeah, maybe I was rubbing my eyes fiercely as he started up his car and started to drive away, and, yeah, maybe I shouted after him with a clearly heartbroken tone as he disappeared around the street corner, but how could I have hidden it? I was too confused, too conflicted with emotions to do anything but let my feelings show.
After that I had opened the door, fumbling with the keys a bit because my hands were starting to go numb, whether it be from the cold outside or the cold inside. I had walked into my house that used to be home and wondered what felt so different, wondered why it didn't bring me instant comfort like it usually did, and then I remembered: "Oh, yeah. Adam isn't here."
So I'd walked upstairs with robot-like motions and then sat down on my bed stiffly and I'd tried to think of any reason Adam could possibly have not to love me. I wondered if maybe I needed to be thinner, kinder, smarter, maybe even more sexual? I didn't think someone like me could even be more sexual without being a downright- Uh, PG.
I didn't do much in those few days after the break-up. I thought. I cried. And I hugged my pillow, and, okay, yeah, maybe I talked to my pillow just a bit, too. Or maybe just a lot. I asked that inanimate object of mine why I wasn't good enough, why I couldn't keep Adam entertained with all that I was, all that I am.
As you probably could have guessed, the pillow didn't answer.
It's okay, though. I'm okay with sitting here and hugging the silent pillow and crying to myself and thinking about things I don't want to be thinking about. It's okay. I don't mind it.
Maybe I mind it a little.
But I'm okay.
I sigh into the pillow and then push it away, glancing at the clock, which reads "11:27." It's night time. Usually, at this time, I'd be recording with friends or spending time with Adam, but I haven't done either of those things since the break-up. I haven't even talked to anyone since the break-up, and I don't exactly want to. The others must be worried about me- or, who knows, maybe they're not. After all, Adam and I used to go 'missing' all the time when we were still together. We'd go off the radar for a couple of days just so we could hold each other and relish in the warmth and love we gave off without interruptions.
Maybe now he's doing that with someone else. Maybe he's shut down his laptop and his phone and he's holding someone else in his arms just like he used to hold me. Maybe he loves them. Maybe he worries that too much of his life revolves around them. Maybe he really, truly loves them just like I really, truly love him.
And I guess that's okay.