Beacuse you know I can't leave you hanging ❤️
Happy Sunday!
Thank you for the votes ❤️
"What?" I asked stunned as Jared looked at me just as confused.
"I... I'd like you to move in with me. Here."
I gulped turning to look out of the window once again as he continued.
"Look, I know you probably didn't imagine the start of the summer like this but... the opportunity rose so quickly and I have been thinking to move for a while now..."
"What's wrong with the other house?" I snapped which made him even more confused.
"Well... just that, too many people know. Too many memories, I wanted to start fresh, with you. Besides, I grew out that one long time ago... and now I have time to relocate."
I sighed shaking my head.
"Jared, I don't have a job! I don't have a career, I don't have the kind of money to live here!" I cried out frustrated.
"What are you talking about?" he frowned. "I bought it, there's no rent, no..."
"But there's electricity, there's heating, there's water and I don't even want to know how much they all cost!"
"You don't have to care about that!" he stated frustrated. "I bought the house, I'll handle that; it is not a problem for me, gosh, why all of a sudden money is a problem for you?!
"Because I don't have it!" I shouted back, snapping my head towards him. "Yes you can buy a mansion, you can pay all the bills, you can have all the cars, but that's not moving in together! That's moving into YOUR house! Together means sharing and I can't fucking share the cost of this house! I'm an unemployed refugee!" My lips trembled as I turned back away. "I don't want to be dependent on you! I don't want to be the trophy girlfriend, I don't want to just... BE!"
Long silence followed and I turned back to look at Jared who was looking at me desperately.
"Av... please I never meant to... make you feel like this. I just... I love you, I wanna be with you. I have been with you for years and have been long enough without you in the last months to know that I want you by my side all day everyday. And I don't care if you can't share now. Hell, you can buy the groceries and cook... I thought of having a maid but if that makes you feel better you can clean! But you don't have to!"
"Jared..." I sighed, but he interrupted.
"I'm sorry I'm not your normal gal, but you chose to be with me. I'm not going to apologize for the money I make or for the life I can give you. If you don't want to move in together then forget it!" he stated hurt as he walked out the door, his footsteps echoing in the huge space.
I looked after him totally understanding his point of view, but that didn't mean I felt any better about this situation.
"Jared!" I called out for him when I stepped out of the room, walking towards the stairs.
"Come back down! Let's leave!" he shouted back.
I sighed hurrying down the stairs catching up to him at the end, on the ground floor.
"Jay... I..."
"Don't. I know, we should have talked about this... I should have asked you first. I'm sorry I'm gonna spend the first weeks moving, I... in my head it was supposed to be our little project but..." he opened the door to the parking lot, not looking at me. "Go ahead I... I have to use the bathroom."
He hurried away and I looked after him sadly, walking outside.
Standing there I looked up to the building torn.
He just asked me to move in with him and I ruined it... I ruined everything. He was so happy, so excited and my overthinking self just crashed it. I wanted to live with him, damn, I did!
But looking around this "house", I just didn't feel it... I could try to furnish it, make it homey... but it was so intimidatingly big that I couldn't help but see myself here all alone all those times when Jared will be away, and it was unflattering.
This lifestyle is so not me nor my wallet.
Felt like Jared was in the bathroom awfully long, but then again, who knows how far the bathroom is.
I slowly walked back out to the car to sit in and after like fifteen minutes he finally walked back out, sunglasses on he slid into the driver's seat.
Looking at him I saw his flushed cheek and the redness of the tip of his nose and my heart flinched seeing these so obvious signs of him crying. He always rubs his nose when he cries, almost as a reflex so later if caught he can blame it on allergies or whatever. It was one of his weird things he did ever since I knew him and been close enough to reckon he was crying.
I felt a knot in my stomach as I put on my seat belt, Jared doing the same, seeing as he shook his hair more into his face in the process what hid him so well from me.
"So... want me to drop you at yours or wanna come back to mines?" he asked, sounding surprisingly neutral.
"I uh..." I peeked to him uncertain. "I go to yours if..." I saw him grabbing the stirring wheel stronger, clenching into it finger by finger; he was holding in the anger. "Just to grab my stuffs, I have to go... do some laundry, grab some things..." I muttered.
"Alright," he nodded. "You might wanna stay at yours for the week. I wanna get to moving. Get settled before we..." he stopped, peering at me before he sighed. "Just... open the glove box," he instructed and I swallowed hard, doing as told. "There... the envelope."
I reached for the white envelope with a ribbon attached to it and Jared's handwriting which read: Welcome home, Av.
"Don't..." he sighed. "Just forget the writing and open it!" he growled.
I looked at him then back down to the envelope, trying to hold back the burning tears as I gently ripped it open.
Inside were two papers which I pulled out, revealing two tickets with our names on them. First class to Edinburgh, Scotland. Right after the tickets two door keys fell out into my palms.
"The flight is in three weeks. Was planning to go see Lynn; she knows about it... then surprise your Mom by spending your birthday there," he explained. "The keys... well... just keep them anyway."
I nodded, gulping as tears quickly escaped my eyes. I was never angrier at myself.
"It's... amazing plan..." I whispered, wiping my tears as I looked up to Jared who just kept looking at the road with a straight face.
"Is it? Because, you know... I bought both tickets..." he muttered mockingly.
"Jared I..." I looked to him with falling tears. "I'm so sorry..." I chocked.
"Stop it! I told you, forget it! I'm not gonna force you to move in with me."
I took a deep breath trying to talk my mind, but he was so cold; whatever I would say now, I know he would only react negatively. Even if I told him how much this all means to me... How I am so stupid, how I would go to the end of the world with him, how I really really would like to live with him.
The next ten minutes ride back to his place was quiet. Painfully quiet.
Getting out of the car, he quickly disappeared into the office with an excuse to make a call, while I went upstairs to gather my stuffs into a tote bag before I walked back downstairs.
Jared was already standing in the living room reaching down for the remote control to turn on the TV when he looked at me.
"You know how many women out there would say yes to live with me in a heartbeat?" he spat hurt.
I knew he was hurt and I knew he just wants to hurt me, but this does not justify his comment.
"Then why don't you go find them?" I hissed back grabbing my bag more as I made my way to the front door.
"Maybe I will!" he shouted after me. "I didn't buy that fucking compound to walk around in it like a ghost all by myself!" he burst.
"I thought you bought it to have all your work buddies there," I snapped back.
"I bought it to start our life together where I can come back to you between sessions. Where you can come see me any time when I'm working," he stated firm walking after me.
"And what about all those times you will be gone for months? That doesn't matter how I will feel in that big ass museum?" I turned back.
"You should be used to being alone; you never had friends," he mumbled.
"Huh! Yeah, and whose fault is that? You were the one I was babysitting twenty four seven!" I cried out.
"No one asked you to!"
"Sure! Sorry, that I cared too much!" I sighed giving up, before I turned to leave.
"Yeah well..." he started harsh but then his voice lowered. "Avery, what the hell are we fighting about?"
I shook my head.
"That the contrast between our lives is...."
Before I could finish, Jared grabbed my arm, turning me back to face him.
"Do you love me?" he whispered, stroking the hair away from my neck.
"Of course, I do," I answered, looking up to him, watching his gaze following his fingers running thought my neck.
"Then... why are we fighting?" he asked looking back into my eyes, his bright ones boring into mines. "Most importantly why do YOU fight against your own heart?
I looked down in tears as he continued.
"Go home, Av. Sleep on it. Think about it. You know, I just needed a bigger space and I knew I want to spend as much time with you as possible. I wanna share my mornings and my nights with you. That's why I wanted to move in with you. And then you started talking about bills and money... The only reason I asked you to live with me is because I want to live with you. Nothing more. I just need you to let yourself be cared for from time to time. Think about what you want really and not what you think would be the idyllic life."
"Jared it wasn't about that I..."
"Look, I deal with enough business shit in my work life, I don't want to do the same in my personal life. I asked a simple question. Do you want to live with me? And I am looking for a simple answer," he said as he opened the door for me. "I will love you the same whatever your answer is," he smiled gently.
Damn, seems like dramatic scenes are just his default nature by now.
I opened my mouth to speak, although I was swept away by his words, but he kissed me instead.
"I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"But... I'd like to come back..." I whispered confused.
"Tomorrow," he nodded, gently guiding me outside the door before closing it.
Starring at the door my heart ached as I let my tears fall.
He maybe is right. I need to gather my thoughts, my own self.
At home I immediately went for the fridge to have a glass of wine. It was only eleven, but I couldn't care less.
Sighing I sat onto to the couch going through my social media when my eyes stuck on a photo of me and Jared arriving to the gallery opening in London. We were holding hands, he was waving to the camera proudly while I smiled to another one; the wind picking up the ends of my hair, making it look like it was floating behind me. I love that picture.
I quickly saved it to have it as my lock screen before reading the caption:
"What a beautiful couple, it's almost unreal! This picture is two months old, right after that Jared shared one more on his account then silence. What do you think, are they still together? Jared wasn't seen with her ever since."
I sighed, smiling sadly as I scrolled through the comments:
"Jared's a private man and as we know Avery even more. I believe they are still together."
"I hope so! Jared now has this new assistant who looks so young! Avery is beautiful and I think is the lowest age where Jared should go and still have his 17 years younger chick. Would be a fool to throw her away for a twinkie."
I chuckled reading some more.
"I bet they are! Yes, he has the new assistant but he has been so silent on social media, I bet it's because they are doing their own thing. Haven't you all realized every time Jared is rumored to be in a relationship he ghosts us? He never posted any girl who he is involved with so showing off Avery shows how serious they are."
Taking a sip of my wine, I put my phone down, putting my legs up onto the coffee table.
I was sitting there silently, just thinking about my life in general. looking around my apartment. The cozy little apartment.
Later that day, I walked into my bedroom in my pajamas, sitting onto the bed with a sigh, looking at my grey blackout curtain with white flowers on it, remembering how I bought the torn material on sale and patched it up, looking just like new. Then my eyes wandered to the matching pillow case and bedding I sewed together as well back when I was experimenting with my talents and had no money to buy new ones. Back when Jared was just a distant client of mine, who I didn't even dare to look at when talking to, being way too intimidated, way too insecure to hold his gaze.
I was thinking to write him a goodnight message. I was missing him already. I wanted to lay beside him.
I wondered what he was doing at the moment. If he hates the thought of us being in the same city yet not together as much as I did.
In the morning I woke up with a smile missing from my face and that's when I knew that Jared is the most important thing in my life. That he is more than just a boyfriend. He is my best friend, my soulmate, my rock and when I feel truly happy is by his side. I always wanted to prove the bullies wrong by aiming for the life and career they could only dream of. Now it's time that I start doing things for myself without any shame. Go after my heart and my heart only.
Arriving to Jared's new home, I saw a man on a ladder putting up a camera, while another installed a new doorbell, Sky standing in the gate, with her phone in hand.
"Avery! What you doing here?" she asked with a grin as I waved, then grabbing the gray blackout curtains from the trunk of the taxi, I walked to her.
"Hey! Just... brought some things... What is happening?" I asked peeking at the guys.
"They are here to install the security system. Jared asked me to be around. What you up to?" she asked giving me a hug.
"I just... brought some things... Is he around?"
"He went to help moving the instruments from the studio first thing. He doesn't let no one else touch his treasures," she smiled.
"Could you let him know to come find me when he arrives?" I asked excited.
"Sure. Wait," she asked before I disappeared into the endless house. "Is it one of those surprise things, should I say anything?" she grinned.
I chuckled shaking my head.
"Nah, it's fine."
Standing in the window, balancing myself I was halfway done putting up the curtain when a soft knock on the door made me turn my head.
"Hey... what are you doing?" asked Jared looking up to me uncertain.
"I..." I turned carefully, holding onto the curtain. "I brought the curtain. If your offer still stands, I would like to move in with you," I smiled shyly as Jared walked to me stunned. "I spent too many years next to you, yet feeling so far away. And I thought about what you have said to me. I just want to live with you. I do, simply," I smiled as his smile grew even wider.
Grabbing my waist he grabbed me off the window seal as I screamed surprised, hugging his neck around.
"I knew! I knew Av, and I promise I will never surprise you with big life decisions any more because I swear you just automatically say no giving me an unnecessary headache," he laughed spinning around with me in his arms.
"I'm sorry," I chuckled, pushing my face into his neck. "But I want to decorate the living room and the kitchen!" I stated firm.
"You got it," he smiled, swinging me left to right.
"And Jared..." I whispered, cupping his face waiting for him to look back at me. "I wanna work with you. Anything."
He looked taken aback, he even put me down.
"Really?"
I nodded, pressing my lips.
"Yes," I smiled. "If... you can find any..."
"Consider it found! You're hired. For anything. I fire Shannon if you wanna play the drums, I don't even care!" he laughed.
Laughing with him I kissed him gently.
"So... this week we're moving," I smiled.
"We are," he nodded, caressing my face. "We are."