🎵 Sunset - Davichi ✨
= You don't want to show me your tired look, but I can tell from your forced smile. I will always be here, I will always come for you like the purple sunset. =
A/N: I'm so in LOVE with this song. The lyrics, melody and their voices are perfect for sad scenes... 🥺
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"Can you walk?" Jongdae asked gently. He could sense how terrified I was so he was extra careful and patient with me.
I made a slow nod even though I wasn't sure myself, and let him help me up on my feet. It took everything in me to stand on my feet again, and that's where I saw broken glasses beneath my shoes.
And my dripped bloodstains.
"Let's go," he supported me at my elbow and waited for me to make my first step. I really appreciated his consideration of letting me do the first of everything. When I took my first step though, I ended up crumbling to the floor because my legs had no strength. Thankfully, Jongdae was there holding my arms to prevent my fall.
"Okay, you obviously can't walk." He commented as if he expected it, and went to my front in crouch position. "Get on, and don't tell me otherwise. Unless you want me to stay in this position forever."
It was half a threaten in case I would refuse him, but I was in no condition to argue so I hopped on. He picked me up as if I weighed a feather and carried me out in a piggyback, no other words said as we abandoned the window-shattered room.
...
I was back at the place where I told myself I should never return - Jongdae's room. He piggybacked me here through a different and longer route to avoid being seen by anyone.
The trainee rooms were strictly on the 2nd and 3rd floor while his room was on the top floor, 5th level of the dormitory. Surely, that level was reserved for VIPs like Jongdae since he was a guest of the program. Even Sohee and the crew were arranged to live on the 4th floor, so it was safe to say that I wouldn't come across anyone here.
I sat solemnly on his bed and waited for Jongdae. He soon returned from the outside with a first aid kit in his hand. Honestly, I wasn't ready to face him after he's seen this monstrous side of me, but at the same time, I was grateful that he was the one who came to my rescue.
"Why aren't you asking me?" I asked softly.
Fifteen minutes had passed in silence so I decided to break the bubble for him knowing that he was curious about it.
Jongdae looked at me and put up a soft smile. "Not now," he said, to my surprise. "I don't want you to think about it. Whatever it is, you can tell me next time when you're ready."
I felt my eyes go warm again because of that. His answer, gentle tone, tender smile, and soft-serving gaze... all of it comforted me.
"Just answer me one thing for now," he added. "Are you feeling okay?"
Sweet gentleman he is. How to not feel okay when he's protective like that?
After so long, I managed a smile at him and nodded.
"Good, let's get this cleaned up first then." He took in my hand and I flinched at the sudden consciousness of my injury, causing him to let go.
Now... the pain was coming to me.
Black bruises already formed at my knuckles by the time I realised, along with several tiny glass shards sunk in my skin.
For a second I wondered if I had broke my knuckles. Blood that dripped from the cuts to my fingertips were now dried and stained red. It looked so bloody that I almost couldn't believe it was my own hand. I analysed it at different angles thinking about how gross it was, but there was no time to regret what was already done.
"Bear with me," he said gently, fixing his eyes on my injury. I shut my eyes and willingly gave him my hand, ready to deal with the pain while he cleanse it.
But no action was taken for a while.
I peeled my eyes open again to see Jongdae hesitant to touch my bleeding hand, and chuckled.
"You know how to clean a wound, right?" I asked, forming an actual smile at his goofiness.
He tried to look serious. "Of course I do, of course."
"Okay, do it then. I can handle the pain," I shifted my hand closer to him, but he moved back as I did to avoid touching the wound carelessly.
"Yeah, mm. Okay," he cleared his throat, his hands still hovering over my wound, making me more certain that he was new to this.
Still, I waited.
Some deafening seconds later, he let out a big breath. "Shall we take a minute? I'll get you some water to calm down first," he eventually decided.
My smile went bigger upon hearing his draggy excuses. I mean, if I wanted water, why would I wait till now right?
Still, I played along with his suggestion.
"Wait here," he walked out to the counter to pour me a cup from a water jug with one hand, and the other hand used to scroll through his phone. His eyes were glued to his phone, caring about it way more than my cup of water. I quietly got up from the bed and sneaked up behind him to see what he was really up to.
And I was trying so hard to hold back my giggle.
The search engine on his phone showed 'how to clean a wound' and he was reading them so intently that he didn't notice me there. I stood behind him the entire time and watched him play a first-aid tutorial for 3 minutes long. By the time the video ended, I was grinning from ear to ear.
When Jongdae turned to find me at the bed again, he found me missing. "Jisoo?" I heard anxiety in his voice. One word and he already seemed worried about my disappearance.
"Do you know how to clean a wound now?" I giggled from where I stood, and he goofily turned a 180 degrees to find me there.
"Ya!" He let out a big breath and placed his hand on my shoulder near my neck, lightly caressing my collarbone with his thumb. He was being unusually gentle with me.
It felt as if he wanted to pull me in for a hug but resisted because he feared he might accidentally hurt me by my injury.
I don't know, that was just a guess.
"You!" He exclaimed, wearing an expression mixed with surprise, concern, and a little embarrassment. "Since when were you standing there?" He asked softly while the embarrassment grew and slid his phone back into his pocket.
"Since I wanted to learn how to clean a wound," I chirped, and his cheeks flushed redder at that.
...
"If the wound is bleeding, press sterile gauze or a clean cloth firmly on it until the bleeding stops," said the first aid tutorial video.
Jongdae fetched the gauze from the first aid kit following as the video played from his phone in front of us. I became a willing patient when Jongdae insisted on treating me, even though it was his first time.
"I think we can skip that step, I'm not bleeding anymore," I quickly voiced out when he was about to press some gauze on my wound.
"Oh," he agreed stiffly after realising that. So innocent and pure as he put the gauze away and proceeded to step two.
"Remove any debris by rubbing gently with a clean cloth or use clean tweezers," the video continued, and I fetched him the tweezers from the first aid kit faster than he could find it.
"Okay, I think, this might hurt a bit," he shifted in his seat and brought his face down to my hand.
He was about to remove the glass splinters for me, but I stopped him right before the tweezers came in contact with my wound. "Jongdae ya!" I exhaled skeptically, causing him to look at me.
Should I tell him to pass?
I can live with splinters for a little more and head to the hospital to get it treated cleanly. "Nothing," I said in the end, somehow foolishly deciding to trust him on this one.
He seemed to know why I called him for and smiled assuringly back at me.
But I swear, that assurance lasted only the first second.
"Do you secretly hate me or something?" I wiped my tears as they spilled by itself. The pain inflicted by Jongdae digging out my splinters was the cause of it. "A-Are we done yet?" I asked for the twentieth time to no reply as he stayed silently focused on my wound.
This man can never be a surgeon, just saying, for he has no delicate hands.
He had been picking out the splinters the way he'd pluck flowers from the ground, with completely no concern over his strength every time he pulled, and I was wheezing so hard in the inside at his every attempt.
As much as I could tolerate pain without anaesthesia, there was a limit to this before I would faint. I'm not kidding, splinters are hella painful, and Jongdae was aggravating it.
"Okay, I think we're done," he said in a proud accomplished voice, and I let out the breath I had been holding. "Wash it off with tap water and it should be good," he added, finally sounding sensible again.
Despite the pain, I got to enjoy the goofy side of Jongdae for a while. It just reminded me how imperfect and human he was out of his celebrity shell.
"Don't apply any disinfecting solutions to the wound." We played the last part of the video, and that's where I caught Jongdae putting back a disinfectant bottle into the first aid box.
Ahhh, adorable kitty.
A random new thought crossed my mind then: that I wanted to know about the things he couldn't do, the things he's bad at, and the things he hates to do... everything. More than the motivation I had for myself, I was so much more determined to do it all for him.
...
There I was again, trapped in the same dark container with my hands and legs tied up in ropes. The whole kidnapping incident was about to replay but there was nothing I could do. My eyes stung with tears as I prepared for worse to come. I forced every muscle in me to no avail as my body stayed paralysed to the ground. I could only lay there, weeping helplessly as the fear consumed me once again.
That was when I felt a pair of hands raise me up to sit and wrapping me into a hug. For a while, I cried my heart out in the blackness. I couldn't see what was going on but I could feel that something was different this time. There was a familiar warmth of someone embracing me tightly and patting my back to soothe my terrified soul, which slowly put me to ease.
My loud wails gradually turned soft, and I blinked open my eyes becoming fully aware that I had yet again experienced a nightmare.
But I was awake now and in Jongdae's arms.
"It's okay, you're okay, you're okay, Jisoo." His words was sweet to my ears to calm my trembling.
Jongdae pulled away from the hug to take a good look at me, brushing his thumb over my wet cheeks and fixing my hair for me. "It's okay, don't be afraid. I'm here now," he said tenderly and I nodded back with a forced smile.
It has only been minutes since I fell asleep on Jongdae's bed and it was probably because I exhausted myself from the scare earlier. Little did I expect a short nap to turn to a nightmare.
I hugged him back again, resting my face against his chest in which he readily embraced me once more. The nightmares always frightened me but here in his arms I found peace, comfort and a whole lot of security.
For a long time, I held him tight and didn't want to let go.
...
"Seulgi unnie is here too?!" I choked out, completely forgetting that she was here as a guest too. Jongdae had just told me that her guest room was on the same floor, next door.
After the nightmare happened, Jongdae started cracking up random conversations to keep my mind off it. I was enjoying the talks until he decided to drop a bomb on me, saying that Seulgi was living next door.
"Hold on, are the walls sound proof?!" I freaked out, going to a wall and sticking my ear to it.
"Her room is not on that side," he said, and I immediately switched over to check the wall on the other side. From what I remember, I could hear my next-door trainees laughing out loud all the time.
"What if she can hear us? Oh god, I should stop talking." I sealed my lips in and watched Jongdae throw his head back to laugh. "This isn't funny! We're about to get caught being the same room!" I whispered harshly at him.
"She already knows," he said calmly, while I felt struck in the chest and was barely able to form a response. "Wha-?" My spirit had just left my body.
"Just kidding, she doesn't." He tattled, and I clenched my jaw frowning at his mischief.
I sent a punch to his arm with my free hand and he winced at the blow. "Ah! Be gentle! Your punches are really hard," he whined, rubbing his arm.
"It's not a punch if it isn't hard," I scowled back.
"And that's how you broke the window? With that tiny little fist of yours?" He pointed to my other hand that was now bandaged, and kudos to him for wrapping it nicely.
I dropped my frown as the conversation took a serious turn. It was a cue to finally talk about my fist that went through a window.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up." He started apologising. "If you don't wanna talk about it it's fine-"
"No, lets talk about it. I wanna talk about it." I answered and helped myself sit on his bed to talk a little more. "Wait so, are the walls soundproof or not? And tell me honestly, does she know about us?"
"Nobody can hear us, I promise. And no, she doesn't know about us yet. Silly girl."
I slouched in relief at that and let him ruffle my hair.
Jongdae moved beside me and faced me in seriousness. "Listen, there may be times in the future where you'll be confused, or need answers that I might not be able to give, so just remember one thing." He gently stroked my hair next. "I think a lot for you, and I would never put you in a disadvantage no matter where, no matter what."
I briefly combed his hair in return too. "What did I do for you to be so nice to me? I really don't get it."
"You finally realize that you should treat me better?" He chuckled back in a brighter smile.
"After what happened tonight, I realized a lot of things, and you're one of it," I smiled down to myself.
"Realize what?"
The answers were all in my head. As I looked at him, I could see so clearly that there was someone in my life who cares so much about me, that it was possible to see him look so worried over me, that my well-being was his number one priority in the situation and not my story.
That he was someone I wouldn't be able to let go of so easily.
In just one night, I'm not sure anymore - if my idol dream was still my number one priority or him. I pondered those thoughts to myself and let his curious eyes search me for a while.
In the end, I decided not to answer him. "It's no fun if I tell you now," I teased back instead.
Jongdae rolled his eyes at me and snorted out loud. "You petty little thing."
"But I'll tell you everything else you want to know," I breathed in with determination. "About my life that changed about... 4 years back?"
Jongdae was all ears waiting for me to continue, so here was me mustering the courage to unfold the hell episodes of my life to Jongdae. From the point of time I knew a girl called Moon Ga In, my family and wealth, the kidnap case and how I landed up with this dream... everything.
That night, Jongdae took a huge step closer towards me, and I let him into my life much more than anyone ever did.
...
"Are you still not going to tell me?" Hera asked again and again but I lazily shrugged her off. It was our dinner time so we were seated in the canteen and eating.
"What? There's nothing to say."
"Nothing? You disappeared that night and snuck back to our dorm after our curfew! Where can you possibly go? It's not like you can leave the training camp. And on top of that, you came back with this." Hera pointed at my bandaged hand and I shamefully hid it behind my back.
A day has passed since the pizza party, and three things have changed - our new dormitory arrangement, a new project to work on, and my perfectly fine hand that turned into a bandage.
None of the girls knew what happened to me last night because I never spoke about it. Not even Yuri had mentioned it so far, even though I've been waiting for a chance to come by.
To wait for a time she'd piss me off again and I would grab her by the hair and judo-flip her over.
"Remember when Yuri asked if you'd choose dating a guy or debut? What's your answer?" She probed, refusing to leave me alone. I really wanted to eat in peace and not talk about that bitch.
"You seriously asking me that now?" I walked away from the dining area to get a refill from the rice pot behind us. Today's training had ended and we were left on our own for the night. We could only relax tonight because we were receiving our new grades tomorrow and that would either make us stay or send us home.
As much as I didn't want to talk about Yuri, Hera stubbornly tagged along. "Yes, and I think I've waited long enough for you to tell me. If not now, you'll always get away and avoid my question."
"Then isn't it obvious?" I pitched my shoulders. "I'm avoiding because it's not something I'm comfortable talking about." With the bowl in my hand, I took big scoops of rice in.
"It's not something you have to hide from us either."
"Aren't you just being nosy? You're not my mum or my best friend," I joked, shaking my head.
Hera paused for a bit. "What am I to you? A friend for display?" Her tone went darker than before, making me look up.
"Why would you say that? Of course not. You know how much you and Lia mean to me." I replied, but Hera seemed unusually upset. "You're a precious friend," I smiled to salvage the tension.
"But you don't treat us like one," she muttered back. "No, you don't even trust us to keep your little secret."
I shifted from one feet to another as the uneasiness took over. "What do you mean?"
"Until when do you think you can hide? The fact that you have something on with our coach?"
I went white. "W-what?"
"Must I spell it out?" Hera scowled. "You and Jong-dae-sun-bae?"
My hands loosened as I took a shock step back, letting the bowl of rice I just refilled crash on the floor.
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A/N: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Oh I love you guys. Those who comment always made my day! You know who you are~ so thank you!! 😊
EXO WE ARE ONE 👍🏻💕
-A