Chapter 22
Even though he was holding tightly onto her hand as they walked, Jai still hadn't said a word to Lyv. He'd even closed off some of his thoughts, so she couldn't even peek inside that mind of his to know. Of course, she could use her dark magic...but that wouldn't have been a very good idea all things considered.
Elys bounded ahead of them all, looking around at every towering tree they passed and blooming flowers so different from the ones in their world. But when he let out a surprised and eager shout, Lyv tensed, fearing the worst. She didn't have to, though.
It was the sight of a small pool of water being fed by smaller streams that had the boy excited, especially when he saw that one of those streams created a waterfall that flowed over several large boulders. The other side of it, where they stopped, was outlined in a sandy bank, large enough for them to put up the tent and still have plenty of room between them and the water. The last of the sunlight glittered across the surface, quickly being replaced by the light of the night sky, as it lapped softly against the shore.
"Oh, wow," Allel breathed as she slowly spun around, taking it all in. "This is breathtaking."
Kalla smiled and nodded, her eyes growing distant. Like she was thinking back to another time, long ago. "It is. Gods, to think how much time we've spent here..."
"We can see why."
While Kalla continued on with stories of her time there before, Lyv blocked everything out, focusing on grabbing the folded-up fabric of the tent within the depths of her bag. Usually, she would let someone help her, but she did it herself almost subconsciously, waving one hand and tossing it up into the air with the other. In a flash, her magic had it all set up and even added an additional section for the dragons to sleep since they obviously didn't want to be out in the open. The two of them disappeared inside as soon as it was complete.
While she'd set up the tent, Jai put up a protective ward around them, which also managed to block them from view and would keep anything from hearing, too. Just to be on the safe side, Lyv put up her own against his, their magic automatically intertwining, making it stronger. As soon as she did, their eyes met but no words were said aloud or in silence down their bond.
"Not that I'm not upset with you, but I do believe he's even more so," Gideon told her as he stepped up to her side.
Lyv heaved a sigh. "I don't want to hear it, Gideon."
"But you need to. What happened back there..."
"I had it under control."
"And I know you did. But there will come a time when you think you do and yet lose it all together. I don't want to see that happen, so you need to be mindful of when you do use your dark magic. We'll get it out of you, though. Don't know how just yet, but we will. And don't even think of sharing it between you and Jai like Corliss and Meron did. I will not lose my two best friends."
Eyes stinging, Lyv had to blink several times before looking up at him. "You won't. I promise."
Gideon's usual smile lit up his face before he leaned forward to kiss her forehead. "Love you, Lyv."
"I love you, too," she told him.
He strode off toward the opening of the tent where Thia waited for him. He swooped in for kiss, which made her laugh against his mouth, as he walked her backward inside. Kalla followed, grinning suggestively, and telling them how she would gladly join them for some fun time if they were willing. Allel told her to be careful with what she said around Elys, who had ran up beside the shapeshifter to take her hand.
Mik, though...he took a moment to meet her gaze, silently asking if she really was all right. Her answer wasn't going to change from everyone else asking the same question. Taking that, he nodded. His eyes then went to Jai, who stood in silence behind her. Another silent conversation happened between the two males, one even Lyv couldn't decipher, before Mik finally followed the others inside.
The tension between her and Jai could have been cut with her dagger. She couldn't even meet his eyes, turning her back to him. His gaze bored into her. Wanting to put however much distance she could between them and the others, Lyv walked to the edge of the pool. She knelt down to unlace her boots before stepping out of them and threw down her bag. Taking a seat in the sand, she stretched out her legs, her feet touching the cool water.
Jai came up beside her and did the same, though the tension still hung in the air. He didn't say a word, just sat down and wouldn't even look her way. She peeked over at him out of the corner of her eye, see his jaw clenched so tight she could almost hear his teeth grinding together. The thoughts she managed to see were all a jumbled mess, but one was clear, one she needed him to say aloud.
"Just say it, Jai," she told him in a whisper.
"Say what?" he asked, his voice cutting into her like an iron blade. "Say how incredibly disappointed I am in you for using your dark magic when you promised not to? How I thought I was going to lose you as I watched those shadows surround you and your eyes turn onyx?"
Lyv stayed silent, but Jai did not. His voice rose.
"Mother above, Lyv. You promised. You promised not to use it. Because you and I both know every time you do it only brings you that much closer to falling into it completely. You put yourself in danger and for what?"
"For what?" she repeated, finally turning to him. "I put myself in danger to save all of you. What would have happened if I hadn't, huh? Roshan and Erly were already overcome. Everyone else was covered, too. But seeing those things, those pixies going for you and Elys...I couldn't just stand there and do nothing, Jai."
"I know you couldn't, but you didn't have to turn to the shadows. The embers..."
"Sometimes I can't help it," she said, voice rising. "I can't help that the dark magic comes so easily to me, especially now that I can control it better than I ever have before."
"Just because you can doesn't mean you should."
Lyv threw her hands up before jumping up to stand. "Then what will you have me do, huh? Just wait as it builds up inside me until I can't hold it back anymore? What would happen then, huh?"
But he was quick to follow, wrapping a hand tight around her wrist as he spun her back around to face him. "Oh, no, you don't. You're not running away from this, Lyv. From me. You need to hear this. Because we know what happens if you fall into that darkness. That cautionary tale from Corliss and Meron you've put in the back of your mind...she did the same as what you're doing, Lyv. Refusing to let anyone help her control it."
Lyv yanked her wrist from his grasp, narrowing her eyes and baring her teeth. "Don't you dare manhandle me like that again, Jai Ayveri. And if you do, you know exactly what I'm capable of, married mates or not."
"Don't walk away from me then since you're the one who wanted to get all of this out in the open," he retorted. "I'm more than willing to help you with this, Lyv. You know that."
"And I'm not risking it."
"You need to listen to me..."
"No, I don't!" she screamed at him, pushing against his chest. "You want to talk about me not listening to the precautionary tale of Corliss and Meron? You want to talk about me being the stupid one who put her life at risk to save her family? I'm not going to listen to you, because I know exactly what your solution would be to the problem."
Jai's jaw clenched tight as his eyes narrowed and threw up another ward of silence around them.
"Oh, you don't want the others to hear this fight?" she mocked. "Because I know they would agree with me in not allowing you to take on half of the dark magic you're so willing to take on."
"And they would agree with me also on the fact that every time you use it, you're that much closer to losing yourself completely."
Lyv opened her mouth, trying to come up with a reply...but words completely failed her.
Because he was right. They both were. Every time Lyv used her dark magic, she could feel a small piece of herself slipping away into the abyss. Her nightmares were another warning to her, ones she tried to pass off and push away.
All it took was that completely look of terror on the face of the one she loved most to push her over the edge.
Jai knew she was about to break a moment before she did and surged forward to pull her against him. Pressing his face into her hair, his arms secured around her, unwilling to let her go. Silent tears rolled down her face because she refused to scream and cry out like she wanted. Ward of silence be damned.
"I need you to talk to me, Alyvia," Jai whispered to her, using her full name. "What are you thinking that you're not telling me about?"
Breathing him in and then holding it for a moment, she held him tighter in her arms before shifting to look up at him.
"I'm thinking you may be right, even though I really don't want you to be."
Jai reached up, brushing his fingers along her cheek before pushing her hair back behind her ear. "About what this time?"
That made her let out a harsh laugh, rolling her eyes. "Of course, you'd say that."
"And how does the words 'you may be right' taste coming out of your mouth?"
"Definitely bitter, considering the situation."
Jai waited, giving her the time she needed to sort out her thoughts.
Pausing, Lyv closed her eyes, leaning her forehead against his chest. "You're right about how I'm not going to be able to handle this on my own for much longer. It was hard enough keeping the shadows from taking everyone's magic when all I could feel from it was bloodlust. If it happens again...gods, I don't even want to think about it. And you're right about there only being one sure way we can get a handle on it, though we also know the consequences should something go wrong. We will always be in this together for however long we walk these lands and I would never want that to change."
Jai didn't say anything, though the spark in his eyes told her he knew exactly what she was implying.
So, she stepped away from him and walked over to where her bag lay in the sand. Kneeling down to dig through its contents, Lyv pulled out the grimoire and held it tight as she cracked open the pages to the one spell she had marked, though she'd hoped at the time she would never have to use it.
They needed to, though.
Lyv held it out to Jai for him to see. It didn't take him long to recognize it, to know exactly what it was even though he couldn't read it himself.
"The transfer spell," he said in a whisper.
Swallowing down the lump that formed in her throat, Lyv nodded. "If I do this correctly, we'll share the dark magic between us through the mating bond, just like Corliss and Meron did. It'll make it easier for me to control it, though it puts you at risk, too. I don't want to do that to you, though, Jai. I don't."
"But you know you can't handle it on your own anymore."
It wasn't a question.
Lyv nodded. "I can't."
"And you know you don't even ask this of me because I've already said I would."
"And I hate you for it."
"I love you, too."
Heaving a sigh, Lyv traced over the spell's wording with a fingertip. "Then let's do it."
***So much is going to happen in Laria...and here's the first of it all! Dark Jai, here we come!
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Happy reading!
- Ansley***