Grow Up and Be Kids by The Cab
Back then I'd live forever and grow old
I'd keep my friends warm when times got cold
I'd live forever and grow old
I'd keep my friends close
We couldn't be sold
Go on, go on, go on
And forget all this even exists
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
Nina marched over to the Santos trap house and immediately pushed passed some of the cholos and cholas who were on the front lawn. Each one of them greeted her happy birthday. She said her short thanks before walking further into the house. Commotion was beginning to build when she entered the backyard as more and more people started greeting her but Nina only marched towards the grill where Oscar was.
"Is it true?" Nina called to him making him stop what he was doing. What was she doing here? Oscar thought. "Did you plan for them to come here and pay for their flights?" Nina pressed. Her voice was loud enough for him to hear amidst the music of the party.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Oscar answered her in a low tone barely even turning to look at her.
"Cut the bullshit, Oscar. V and Tony told me everything," Nina replied making Oscar roll his eyes. The two of them literally had one job and that was to keep their mouths shut about his involvement for Nina's party.
Oscar sighed taking out the towel from his side. He turned to his friend to tell him to watch the grill as he took Nina inside the house and into his room for them to talk. It took awhile for Nina to realize that it had been awhile since she was last in Oscar's room. Oscar shut the door behind her but he couldn't seem to look at her in the eye just yet.
"So did you? Did you plan for all of this?" Her voice was calm and gentle. He'd expect her to be a bit more harsh meddling in with her birthday plans when she specifically told him to give themselves some space.
"It's a simple yes or no question, Oscar," she pressed once more. Her voice sounded like as if she was pleading for him to answer.
Oscar turned around to face her but he didn't look at her just yet. "Yes," he mumbled with his eyes fixated on the ground.
"Why?"
Oscar sighed as he took a step closer. "I thought of it for a long time and with everything that's happened between us I figured you could use something that'll make you happy."
Nina stayed silent as he explained his side. Oscar had avoided her the entire day and all he heard since Sad Eyes and his crew came back was that they had never seen Nina this happy in awhile. He was proud knowing this went smoothly and he had yearned to see her smile on her birthday up close and personal. Instead of that, he stayed away from her for both their sakes.
"Nina, I know you said that you wanted space and I'm sorry for messing with your birthday plans its just-"
Oscar was cut off by Nina wrapping her arms around him in an embrace. He was taken off guard by her sudden touch and warmth. The last time he held her like this was when they cried out to each other on the beach when he reeked of smoke and alcohol. Now that he was sober, he was beginning to get that same feeling of how much he had missed her and her touch.
"Do you have any idea of how happy you made me today?" Nina whispered. Her statement was followed by a sniff and Oscar knew her all too well to know that she was crying.
"You didn't have to, you know? You didn't have to do all of this," she added hugging him a little tighter. "You've made me the happiest person alive for doing this. Thank you, Oscar," she sniffed as Oscar pulls away a little cupping her face with one hand.
"Hey, don't go soft on me," Oscar said softly as he wiped away her tears with the pad of his thumb. "It's no big deal, Nina," he smiled a little as he looked into her big brown eyes.
Their closeness made his heart race as they looked at each other a certain way. It only made things a little harder for Oscar because he knew he had to stay away.
His hand falls to his side as he steps away from her and makes his way to his closet. "I know the homies got you a shit ton of gifts and I hope I'm not too late to give mine," he said reaching in for a small box from the upper shelf of his closet.
Nina watched as he walked back to her and handed her a small black box that was the size of her hand. Oscar nodded as a gesture to make her open the box. Her hands traced over the velvet lining of the box and her mouth falls open the moment she opens it.
He knew how much she loved necklaces. With that, he got her a necklace with a small cross pendant that complimented the one he wore everyday. But something else was hanging next to the cross. It was a ring. A promise ring that had a gold and white lining and little make shift diamonds surrounding the band. It's interior read: mi vida, mi amor going around the band. Nina's heart had melted once more.
"Oscar its beautiful," she said breathlessly as her fingers traced it's intricate design.
"I got it the same day I had the locket made," he explained. "We joked about getting married so much I figured I'd get you a promise ring that day," he added as Nina looked up to him in shock and amazement.
"But then you know what happened next," he laughed a little at his own mistake but Nina kept looking at him and it was as if that mistake never existed. It was as if they had been together up until now and everything was okay between them.
"I'm a little tipsy and I'm a little emotional and I so badly want to kiss you right now," Nina admits causing Oscar to look back into her eyes.
"I'll probably get even more drunk later and I would forget all of this. But is it a weird time to say that I missed you? Not even one greeting from you and then all of a sudden you gift me with a promise ring? And turns out you've been plotting against me for my birthday-"
"Nina," Oscar cut Nina off from her ramble. He knew she was going to say something that would instantly change things between the two of them. He couldn't let that happen. It was for her own good.
"When you asked for space, for both of us, it got me thinking," Oscar began. "Sad Eyes told me that maybe when we're both okay we would get back together. And then we would live the life we always dreamed of."
"W-what are you trying to say?" Nina shook her head a little but Oscar suddenly tore his eyes away from her.
He closed his eyes for a second as he took a deep breath. "Nina, I don't think we should get back together."
Nina furrowed her eyebrows at him. "Oh, I wasn't insinuating that we get back together now-"
"No I mean I don't think we should get back together, ever," he clarified as Nina took a step back from him.
"W-where is this coming from?" Nina stammered. "If this is because of Tony? What happened awhile ago on the road was nothing-"
"I know he's in love with you and I know that kiss you guys had wasn't like anything else," Oscar's voice was dark but it wasn't because he was angry.
Nina opened her mouth to say something but Oscar had beat her to it again. "I see the way he looks at you. I know this because its the same way you look at me and you shouldn't be looking at me like that. You shouldn't be with someone like me."
She felt her heartbreaking again as Oscar could barely find the strength to look at her once more.
"Nina don't get me wrong. I love you and I never expected that you would love someone like me, let alone love me back the way that you did. But I think it would be better to just stay friends," he continued. The more he spoked the more Nina kept crying. Yet again.
"Is this because of me possibly sticking my nose into some business? O-or just me staying out of whatever that is you do as a Santo?" Nina's voice trembled with hurt and anger.
She was willing to wait for him and he knew that. She just wanted to be emotionally and mentally ready for them to get back together. The last thing she wanted was to let go entirely.
"Friend or boyfriend. What difference does it make, Oscar?" She cried.
"No one will be holding you back to fulfil your dreams and make it out of here," Oscar had finally looked at her dead in the eye. "Lets face it, Nina. I'm not gonna be getting out of this life anytime soon. You shouldn't be with someone like me."
"And since when did you start calling the shots on who I date?" Nina cried out to him in anger. Oscar kissed his teeth and ran his hand over his mouth. "I'm sorry if I haven't been clear with all this space thing but Oscar I want you. I love you."
"Nina," his voice had suddenly become menacing as he took a step forward to her. "I work as a dealer for a living. I kill people. I beat people up. I've done a lot more things that you wouldn't be able to bear to hear or understand."
When he was a mere foot away from her, he had softened yet again. "You don't belong with someone like me," he repeated as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He watched as another tear rolled down her cheek.
"You should be with someone who can take you places where you can be the person you wanna be. An engineer or some mad scientist for all I care," he said softly as he placed his hand on her cheek to wipe away another tear. "You should be with someone who gets to hold you every night when you sleep, someone who keeps you safe, and someone who comes home everyday without the worrying of getting got on his job."
Nina cried harder as she leaned into his touch, taking hold of the hand on her cheek. Her touch was warm and gentle. Oscar hadn't realized how much he actually missed her touch and warmth.
"Do you really have to let me go like this?" She sobbed while Oscar's eyes became watery themselves.
"It's for the best, Nina," he said to her softly as she continued to sob. He closed the space between them as he held her in her arms while she sobbed. She gripped onto the box as she didn't even bother hugging him back.
"Why like this? Why go all this way and give me this promise ring?" she croaked out as another tear rolled down her cheek. She could barely keep herself together now.
Oscar was struggling so much as well. He wanted to cry and seeing Nina sobbing wasn't helping. The look in her eyes, all watery and wet with tears. One look from her and Oscar knew he couldn't bear the pain any longer. But he had to push her away for her own good.
Nina had to let go and move on. From him. From this place soon.
"It's of no use to me now," he forced himself to say. "There's nothing left to promise."
Nina's body stiffened. Her body had lost that warmth as the words left Oscar's lips. She felt her chest tighten even more as Oscar kept a low and monotonous tone. The only thing that kept her steady was that Oscar was still holding her.
"Y-you d-don't mean that," she choked feeling it harder for her to breath. "Oscar, please say you don't mean that," she found herself begging as she did her best to control her sobs.
Oscar found himself hugging her tighter as Nina could only feel so limp with the conversation they were having. The weight on his chest was unbearable but he had to do this. He never wanted to let her go but he knew he had to.
"I'm sorry, Nina," was all he could say as she cried even harder. Her body was slowly starting to shake with all her cries.
"You made me so happy today, you give me a promise ring, and then you tell me that you've given up on us?" She cried as Oscar closed his eyes savoring her in his arms even for just this moment.
"How many times do we gotta keep hurting each other, Oscar Diaz?"
That felt like a knife to his heart. In that moment, his tears had finally betrayed him. From the very beginning he didn't want to lose her so he promised to protect her. Now the only way he could guarantee her safety was to let go of her completely.
He placed one last kiss on her forehead as a tear rolled down his cheek. This was him saying goodbye to her. "Happy Birthday, Nina," he mumbles before letting her go.
Nina doesn't even look at him as he wipes his tears and walks out the door without ever having to look back. She had suddenly began to miss her parents. She wished they were with her to comfort and coax her pain saying that this was all a part of growing up. As she turned a year older today, the more she uncovered how growing up was just another fucking scam. Because all good things were fun while they lasted.
-
"Remind me who's idea was it for us to go paintballing after we partied really hard last night?" Leah groaned as she unstrapped her vest. For the record, she was the only one who really went all out last night. Joel and Johann had a few drinks and flirted around with some of the girls and cholas. Victoria and Tony made their way over for a drink. But after Nina's talk with Oscar she didn't even bother staying another minute.
As some of her friends tried to get wasted, she went home and cried herself to sleep. Nina was passed out before her friends could return and she woke up early to make it seem like she hasn't spent the entire night crying.
She hated how Oscar made her so emotional and so vulnerable. This entire week she felt so weak because even though she was beginning to slowly recover, she would find herself crying over him again. To add, she felt pretty messed up with how she felt about Tony as well. All in all she was in a bad need of a break from everything.
"Mine. But you guys could've said no," Nina brushed off with a laugh. She tried to act normal for today but she also had to admit she'd have these moments where she would randomly be stuck in a daze.
"Bitch, I can't believe I got paint in my hair!" Victoria whined as she removed her head gear and let her hair down to see that she had streaks off red and yellow. "I can't believe I actually agreed to this."
"Again, y'all could've said no," Nina scoffed. "But you gotta admit that was fun right?" she added lightly. Her parents used to take them to watch these exercises the precinct held. Her and Victoria would watch the entire thing along side their captain.
"I mean we did win so," Victoria shrugged as they all got dressed back into their outfits where they originally came in.
They had a game of capture the flag with boys against girls. With what happened yesterday, Nina wanted to do something that involved all of them. Apparently, Tony had to appeal to Berto for him to give Nina another day off. And since last night, Nina figured she could release some pent up aggression.
After cleaning themselves up, they drove to a near by mall to hang out a little and go shopping. They had even met up with Tony's parents who were staying in a hotel somewhere in downtown. The squad would be staying with them after tomorrow night so they simply wanted to make up for lost time.
Now they were all chilling and playing board games in Nina's room. A Paramore playlist was on shuffle as Victoria and Leah were helping Nina open some of her gifts. Nina swore it as was if she was 15 all over again.
"Damn, my back hurts," Johann stretched a little as Tony tossed the dice on the monopoly board.
"Ain't that sad viejito," Joel said watching Tony move his piece. "Aha! Pay up bitch!" he added grinning in exchange for Tony's scowl. He bitterly hands him the play money for rent before Johann spoke.
"I ain't old! It's because these girls decided to make me a target at paintball awhile ago!" Johann complained gesturing to the girl sitting on the bed and throwing wrapping paper into the trash bag on the floor.
"Not my fault your team leader didn't make you look out. You're height makes you a walking target," Victoria said as she leaned down to grab another of Nina's gifts from the floor. She wasn't exactly looking as she kept talking. "The point of playing capture the flag is to stay hidden."
"Sorry, dude. I had to shield myself somehow right?" Tony teased before handing Johann the dice.
"Shield this, puto!" Johann scowled before smacking the back of his head and grabbing the dice from his head. The impact made Tony flinch and wail a little in pain, as a result everyone laughed at him. Sometimes old quarrels never really get old.
As Nina was in the middle of stuffing the wrapping paper into the trash bag until she hears Victoria gasp. In her sister's hands she held the gift that Oscar had given her as she read the inscriptions aloud. "¿Mi vida, mi amor?" Victoria said lowly as Leah leaned over to check out the necklace. Hearing those words Nina snapped back to look at them.
"Did Oscar give this to you?" Victoria asked as Leah gasped looking at the necklace. The girls reactions made the guys pause from their game and look over at them as well. It was until they had all caught sight of the necklace and Nina's reaction.
"Cos I got you a jacket and some bracelets, Leah got you more clothes, Johann got you one of his old polaroid cameras, Joel got you Star Wars Lego, and I'm pretty sure Tony made you some sort of playlist," Victoria said slowly as Leah read the inscriptions herself.
"Does this mean you're back together?" Nina turned over to Tony who had an unreadable expression to mask his melancholy feeling.
"Yo, I saw that dude, Spooky last night at the party and he looked really really hot. Did you guys bang last night? I saw you come over but you disappeared with him," Leah looked at her as well and Nina began to feel a lump growing in her throat.
"I heard from some of the cholas a little about you two. He seems pretty cool," Johann said smiling knowing all he heard was good things. It was different hearing that Nina had dated a gangster.
All of a sudden Nina had started crying in front of them catching everybody off guard. Their heart softened as Nina placed her hands on her face to muffle her cries. For a moment she looked like that kid who cried about some dead fictional character. Nina hated the fact that it had only been a day and yet here she was breaking down in front of her friends. They were all supposed to be happy not pitying her over some stupid break up.
"Would it be a bad time to mention that we're all gonna see Paramore tomorrow at the Forum?" Joel brought up in a small voice causing Tony to hit his shoulder. The poor boy flinched upon the impact.
"Aw, baby, what happened?" Victoria cooed as she scoots over to Nina to pull her in an embrace. "I assume that this is about Oscar, no?" she asked which prompted Nina to nod.
"Do you feel comfortable of telling us what happened?" she asked once more. It took awhile for Nina to calm down and after taking a deep breath she started from the very beginning of the story. In truth, they all had a lot to catch up on anyway.
-
"Damn," Leah muttered once Nina was finished. She had told them everything up until what happened last night. Tony couldn't look at her since he was still trying to get over the fact that Nina was in love with someone else. Hurt by that someone but still so in love with him despite the distance she had asked for.
She had managed to stop crying as her friends showed her empathy for what she had been feeling. They said their comments and advice. At one point they were all angry with Oscar then had slowly began to understand both sides of the story. Now they just felt sorry for Nina. But she didn't need their pity.
"I say we walk over there and beat his ass," Johann said standing up more than ready to give him a piece of his mind for hurting Nina like that.
"Finally!" Tony cheered standing up as well.
"No!" the remainder of them called them out. "You really think beating up a gang leader who's surrounded by his own gang and could pull a gun on you anytime is a wise decision?" Joel added as the two boys sat back down on the floor.
"Nina, you do understand that he did what he had to do to protect you and the rest of us right?" Victoria reminded her softly as Nina sniffed once more.
"V has a point," Joel said. "Honestly, we all know you could defend yourself and you've been here longer than us but no matter how long you stay here you gotta understand that the hood life... it ain't a joke, Nina."
"You can't really say that he doesn't love you anymore. Letting you go just shows how much he does love you," Leah added sadly. "But face it sis, maybe you do have to move on."
Nina closed her eyes and sighed, leaning into her sister's embrace. "I know but everything just sucks right now," she replied softly.
"On the bright side, our Nene grew up a lot," Johann said lightly.
"Don't make me hit you cabrón," Nina muttered under her breath.
"I mean that as a compliment woman! Jeez!" Johann raised his hands in defense. "I mean, you're putting yourself out there more! Standing up for yourself and for once not afraid of hitting people back when they deserve it. By the way I say we just attack this Crystal bitch instead."
"Yes, please!" Victoria added making Nina stifle a laugh.
"Johann's right you know? About the growing up thing," Tony finally spoke after awhile. It hurt him as Nina talked about someone else like that but as a good friend, he only knew how to back her up. "You're different, the good different. And dare I say that it suits you a lot, suenito."
Nina felt a little lighter than she was a few hours ago. She really was grateful for all her friends and she had missed them all too much. With them being with her in her room like this, everything felt a little bit safer and a little bit sweeter. And once again, Nina felt better all thanks to them.
"Can I be honest though?" Leah raised her hand suddenly prompting Nina to open her eyes and look at her. "It's still sort of sinking in that you dated a cholo. Like damn bitch I didn't know you had a thing for gang bangers," she added as Nina chuckled at what she said.
"Like that dude looked hella fine. No doubt y'all were getting it good," Leah attempted to lighten the mood a little. And to her luck it was working.
"Oh, the sex was great," Nina replied with a laugh. The sudden talk about Nina's sex life made the other boys cringed. Their reaction made Nina laugh a little more. She really did love them.
"Thank you guys. For all of this," Nina smiled softly at them before remembering what Joel said before she had told them the story of her messed up love life. "What's this about Paramore?"
Tony smiled a little before reaching over to his bag and pulling out an envelope. "Ethan knew a guy and I know how much you loved them. We're all seeing them tomorrow," he said handing Nina the envelope that held their tickets. "Well, all of us except V cos she has mama duties."
"I've been neglecting my babies for two days now," Victoria said. "But you guys should go have fun tomorrow night," she encouraged as Nina was slowly beginning to smile.
"I love you guys so much," Nina's heart melted once more as she gestured for everyone to give her a group hug. Nina wanted to hug all of them and never let go, she had gained her happy pills yet again and everything felt a hundred times better.
"Dj! Turn that shit up!" Nina yelled in the middle of their sweet moment.
Joel who was closest to the speaker turned up the volume until Hayley's voice was booming in the room. They all started to dance and sing a long to the song, dancing around the room like the teenager they used to be.
With the twins in the Martinez house, the house was full of their loud voices that they could be could be heard across the street. Some of the Santos were starting to stare and even laugh and the chaos happening in Nina's room. But for once Nina decided to actually care less about it.
Even Oscar caught them dancing and singing around without a care. He knew how much he hurt her last night but seeing her with her family acting all happy, he knew deep down he was making the right choice. No matter how much it hurt him too.
---
I decided to post this already because I know next week is just gonna fucking ruin me. I'll try posting by next weekend as well but expect a delay of some sorts. And trust me when I say this... get ready for what's about to come.
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