There was she by herself, in the distance, looking at the person her heart chose to love so dearly with someone else.
There she was, with salty tears falling down her cheeks, all alone.
The person he had chosen was perfect. She was one of those people that even if you stared at them for days, or even years, you wouldn't find any flaws on them. The girl he chose had a perfect body, a perfect face, perfect hair. And let's not forget about her personality. Apart from being very smart, she was also such a nice and sweet person.
So, but so much better than her.
Briar still hadn't processed what happened.
One night ruined everything. That one night broke her heart irreversibly.. the million pieces it shattered into weren't able to be held together again, to be fixed anymore.
She had lost him, she had lost herself, she had lost her whole world. The eyes that were once filled with happiness and love, were now full of tears.
Salty tears, salty cheeks.
One night, he walked up to her and ended everything. Everything. Their moments together, their laughs, the love they shared, the smiles that formed on their faces when they were just the two of them... Nothing else mattered. Just him and her.
Eventually, Briar realised how the way she cared about him wasn't equal to his. She would text him good morning and good night everyday, she would do anything for him. However, on the other side, Myles would barely ever text back. He would leave her on seen, and when he replied, his answers were dry. He didn't give her the attention she needed and wanted, and she slowly stopped being his number one priority.
Anytime she said the words "I love you", he would never say it back.
And considering that, she started trying to get his attention. By being dramatic. She would try and make him realise how much he was hurting her. She would cry and start up fights, show him the pain he was causing her. Why couldn't he love her back? Wasn't she good enough for him?
She was always trying to prove something to him. Prove that she was better than what he thought she was, prove that she was worth it.
It wasn't enough. It never was.
He didn't love her enough to care minimally.
And one day, he left. Left, so coldly:
"Happy Valentine's Day M!!!" Briar exclaimed excitedly, giving him a hug. She was wearing a tight red dress, and her hair was perfectly curled. If she looked perfect, he would love her a bit more and maybe be less cold.
She noticed how Myles didn't hug her back, and pulled away. She already knew what was about to come.
She noticed how he wasn't holding anything. No gift - no bouquet of beautiful flowers, no chocolate, no jewellery. Nothing.
Briar looked up at Myles' eyes, and the smile that was previously on her face vanished, just like dust.
His eyes looked sad and uncomfortable. She just remained silent, waiting for his reaction.
Myles sighed before finally speaking up, after a few seconds.
"Briar, we need to talk"
She felt the tears coming. No. He couldn't. Her breath increased more and more each second. The pain her heart was feeling was indescribable. Until then, she didn't know what she would do without him in her life.. she just couldn't imagine it.
"What.." Briar mumbled, her voice cracking up due to her effort to keep the tears in.
Myles took a step forwards. The tension in the air was intense.
"I... Our relationship isn't.. working anymore..The spark just.. isn't there anymore.."
It felt like someone had stabbed on her back.
"Why? Was it something I did? Am I not good enough for you?"
"No. I just... met someone else"
"Oh" She mumbled out. It was so painful. So god damn painful. Knowing he was leaving her, so carelessly. Knowing he was actually walking out of her life. Knowing he had found someone better.
After a few seconds of awkward silence, Briar decided to ask, out of curiosity. Who is that someone else? Are they better than her?
"Who?"
Myles, taken by surprise, looked up at his now ex-girlfriend. Should he tell her? He didn't want to bring up any drama, specially considering they were about to face a week full of tests and assignments.
Regardless, he decided he didn't want to hide anything from her anymore, it wouldn't be fair.
"Cassidy."
Cassidy. The one boys bow down for. The one that has the whole world at her feet, begging for her attention.
The one that was so much better than her, in every aspect.
The tears threatened to leave her eyes more and more by the second, and the more she held them in, the more she felt like she was about to explode.
She nodded at him, before looking down, as he tried defending himself "I am so sorry"
"You should be."
"Bri.."
"No. Don't Bri me."
He sighed, before trying again "I am sorry for how things ended, if I could choose I would choose you, because you're an amazing girlfriend and you are a good person, it's nothing personal-"
"But it wasn't enough for you to stay" She concluded.
"Briar.."
All of a sudden, both of them started to feel rain drops on their skin.
Briar felt relieved. Even if she cried, Myles wouldn't notice.
So she let the tears flow. She let everything she had stuck inside of her out. Silently yet loudly.
"It's raining I need to go... I really am sorry.. See you tomorrow at school... Hope we can still be friends"
Briar didn't say anything else anymore, scared he'd notice her crying.
She just stood there, in the middle of the rain, watching him leave. Leave to go to the one he chose, to the one that was way better than her.
Briar's hair was ruined, and so was her dress and makeup. Everything she had prepared for that night, was now ruined.
But nothing was compared to the pain she was feeling that moment. She had given her whole heart to Myles, and he let it fall, breaking it into a million pieces.
She started crying louder and louder, knowing no one was around to hear it or see her in that state.
After a few seconds, she started running towards her car. She knew she wasn't in conditions of driving back home, however she didn't have any other option.
Her blurry vision, plus the amount of rain drops that fell on the glass, adding to the fact that it was night time didn't help to the situation.
Her crying was still uncontrollable. Her mind couldn't stop thinking. It felt like she was drowning into an ocean. Deeper and deeper into an ocean of endless thoughts and pain.
Somehow, she managed to make it home.
As soon as she opened the door and entered the house, her family, namely her father, mother and younger sister, noticed something was wrong. Very wrong.
"Briar sweetie what happened to you??" Tamara asked protectively.
Her first reaction was to hug her mother. Hug her, and cry hysterically into her shoulder.
"Oh sweetie what happened??" Her mum asked, confused.
"Briar baby, are you okay?" Her dad asked.
"Kill me. Please kill me I can't take this pain anymore." She spoke out, sobbing and crying uncontrollably "Take me somewhere far away"
Her family was extremely worried. Briar begging to be killed? That was unlike her. She had always been a high energised person, always with a huge amount of life inside of her.
They took her to the couch, and covered her shoulders and back with a blanket. It was cold, and she was wet.
Eventually, she explained everything to them.
And from that day on, she was never the same.
She was broken.
Lifeless.
A couple weeks later, she still felt the same. She cried herself to sleep every single night, and every single night she would dream about him. Every single night she would wake up and realise he wasn't there, and that her dream had been nothing more than a sweet lie. And every single night pain would take all over her.
By the lockers, Briar kept staring at both Myles and Cassidy, who were happily enjoying each other's company. Myles was embracing her while playing with her hair, from time to time kissing her, as they chatted with their friends. Their friend group had became one of the popular squads, everyone looked up to them.
It hurt so much.
Her hair was a mess. A cute mess, but still a mess. Her hair was wavy, but frizzy. Her beautiful green eyes had bags under it, and her soul was exhausted.
"Bri" Her friend Leah called, snapping her out of her deep thoughts.
The blonde looked at her friend, waiting for her to speak again.
"We have to go, my mum's waiting for me." They started walking "We're going shopping.. wanna come?"
Briar shook her head.
Leah felt a bit sad, yet not surprised. She tried her best everyday to make her friend feel better, which was worthless. Always.
"It's okay then, maybe some other time"
Briar mumbled a "mhm", as they kept walking out of their school.
"Briar..." Leah sighed "you have to get over him. It's been two weeks, he's totally moved on. He's an asshole, he never cared about you. Let him be with Cassidy Roberts."
"It's not that easy. I miss him. Without him, my life feels empty. Nothing makes sense anymore. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't focus on anything else. I'm already dead inside. He killed me"
"Bri..." Leah sighed hopelessly. Nothing she said could make her feel better. Ever.
"Let's go, I want to get home as fast as possible." Briar changed the subject.
Everyone at school commented about how Myles broke up with Briar on the Valentine's Day, and how he seems so much happier with Cassidy - which made things even worse.
Half an hour later, she finally got home, and avoided her family. She wanted to be alone.
The broken hearted girl walked to her bedroom only to throw her bag onto the messy bed, and her shoes onto the floor before looking out to the window.
Nothing made sense for her anymore. The sun was too bright, and happiness looked like an unreachable reality.
She checked her phone. Everytime she did so, she had a desperate hope that his name would be on her iMessage or on her dm's. She hoped everyday that he would text her, wanting her back, and apologising for what he did. She waited for his call ever since he left.
But it never came.
It felt like all Briar could do was love him. Nothing else. She couldn't focus on anything else, she didn't know how to do anything else other than loving him. She had given him her all, yet he always took it without giving anything back. He never cared for her as much as she cared for him, and he surely never loved her as much as she loved him.
He had moved on so quick, quicker than she ever could have. He was so cold hearted.
She was a whole ocean of emotions, he was nothing. He has never been an emotional person. She was intense, he was superficial. Whenever he felt something, he didn't actually feel it in his heart. He dodged emotions.
She was love. He was nothing.
Nothing, yet everything. Everything because that's what he was to her. Her everything. His nothing was what ruined them. His nothing ruined her.
Briar was still having a hard time processing the fact that he was never coming back. She still dreamt that one day, he would come back and everything would be back to normal.
But a dream is just a dream.
Never meant to be reality.
And that destroyed her a bit more each time.
Briar walked to the toilet, opening its door before turning the light on. As the light hit her, she immediately saw her reflection in the mirror.
A broken woman. A woman that just wanted to love and to be loved. A woman that felt lost. A woman with low self-esteem. With no confidence. A woman with no dignity left. A woman with no purposes or hope.
But aside those, she saw a woman.
Briar looked into the woman's eyes. Yes, they held sadness inside them. But as she looked deeper, she saw power and strentgh. She saw everything she had never seen in herself before.
She saw self-love.
Deep down, she saw her ability to love herself. The independence she owned, because as long as she loved herself, she didn't need anything or anyone else in this world.
She realised how as long as she didn't lose herself, she was still alive.
There, in the mirror, she found herself.
———∗♡∗———
2169 words
Thursday, 5th of November of 2020
{ Author's Note :: as you might've noticed, this one shot is about the song 'you broke me first' by tatemcrae, howeverrrr second part is not exactly sad. anyways you'll see it soon. hope you've been staying safe, and taking care of yourselves <33; btww follow my lame twitter account @/didisstweets (kidding dont, i embarass myself there everyday); hope you guys enjoyed this one shot and stay tuned for part two!}