These are really fun to make and jully likes them so-
here u go LAURENS207 uwu 🥺
***
Alex: Gotta love knitting needles. I can make a scarf, I can make a hat, I can stab your eyes out, I can make mittens-
John: What was that middle part-
Alex: I can make mittens-
***
John: Leave me to do my dark bidding on the internet-
Alex: What are you bidding on-
John: I'm bidding on a table
***
John: You can't spell cat without a-
Alex: Without a what-
John: Without a-
Alex: Without a w H a T-
***
John: Just tried to make a reservation at the library-
Alex: You dont need to make a rese-
John: But I couldn't get one-
Alex: Babe please stop-
John: It was fully booked-
Alex:
***
Alex, looking at John: Wow, he is so beautiful-
John: *trips over the lamp cord and breaks the lamp*
Alex, in awe: Gorgeous-
***
Alex: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more hours just in case-
John: Lex that's a coma-
Alex: Sounds festive-
***
Alec: Do I look straight-
John: Not in the slightest-
Alex:
Alex: I meant my parking job-
John: oH-
John: In that case, yes, it's fine-
***
John: *pulls shower curtain back while Alex is in the shower*
John: Are we — stop screaming, it's just me — are we out of milk-
***
Philip: Is there a word that's a mix between mad and sad-
Alex: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-
John: Smad-
***
John at 3am: Did you know bananas are a berry and strawberries aren't-
Alex: Peaches I love you but please stop ruining foods for me-
***
John: And here's your stabby grabby-
Alex: It's a fork babe-
Alex: Please hand me the spoon-
John:
Alex: *sighs*
Alex: The soupy scoopy
John, immediately handing him the spoon: Well why didnt you just say so-
***
[At a restaurant]
John: You uh...shouldn't be using a straw-
Alex: I know, I know. It's bad for the environment-
John: No it's just a weird way of eating spaghetti-
***
John, waking up in the middle of the night to whisper in Alex's ear: 'Tis I, the frenchiest fry-
***
John: You know, technically, ketchup is a smoothie-
Alex: John, baby, I love you but please don't whisper these things into my ear at 2am-
***
John: *Stares out the window*
Alex: So beautiful, so thoughtful, my love-
John, to himself: Is cereal a soup-
***
[Giving advice to Philip]
Alex: Don't break anyone's heart. They only have one-
John: Yeah, break their bones. They have 206-
Alex: Please don't listen to him-
***
Alex: John don't say a word-
John:
John: Yeet-
Alex: I said no words-
John: Oh so last week when we were playing scrabble it wasn't a word but now it suddenly IS because it's convenient for you-
***
John: Never microwave a capri sun-
Alex: What did you do-
John: Microwaved a capri sun-
***
Alex, drunk: I like John... he has such beautiful eyes-
Alex: I love him-
John:
Alex: don't tell him okay-
John: okay Lex I won't-
***
Alex: Are you okay-
John: Yeah. I mark my territory by crying on things-
***
John: Being gay isn't all fun and games, sometimes you get really used to stealing your boyfriend's clothes and then he goes on a stupid trip and you have no pants to wear-
Alex: I literally packed two pairs of pants-
John: YOU TOOK THE GOOD PANTS-
***
Alex, reading the news on his phone: A man was paralyzed after eating 43 Happy Meals-
John, cracking his knuckles: so the limit is 42-
***
Alex: I asked John to share his king sized blanket last night and he told me that he was a king and the blanket was already at max capacity so-
***
John: Do you think animals try to fit in and be relatable with their friends-
John: Like, do you think a cow is like, "Haha! Yeah, grass is rad!" but then cries at night-
Alex: John, from the bottom of my heart, what in the world goes on in your head-
***
John: I'M TOO HOT- *points at Alex* :D
Alex:
John: :D
Alex:
John: :D
Alex: *sighs*
Alex: *monotone with deadpan expression* Hot d*mn-
John: CALL THE POLICE AND THE FIREMAN-
***
John: Hey Alex, what are you doing-
Alex: Eating a family size bag of chips-
John: That's a small bag, it's not family size-
Alex, with his mouth full: Any size bag of chips is family size when you're an orphan
John:
John: Alex-
***
John: Sure, having kids sounds wonderful but I once put my hands in boiling water without hesitation so-
Alex: Maybe we should just let natural selection run its course-
***
John: Just admit you made a mistake-
Alex, stirring his coffee: I actually prefer it with salt-
***