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Incorrect Lams Quotes 9

t h e s e  a r e  s O  f u n-  LAURENS207
have fun jully! 🥺🥺

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John: Are lobsters like mermaids to scorpions-
Alex: John it's four in the morning-

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Alex: *bumps into a pole*
John: *laughs so hard that he bumps into the same pole*

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John: You're so sweet and cute and precious-
Alex: I AM NOT SWEET. I AM DARK AND MYSTERIOUS AND DANGEROUS AND VERY PISSED OFF-
John: :3 How cute-

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John: Why do you stare at me when I'm half asleep?
Alex: 'Cause you're pretty-
John: It's too early in the morning for you to be this gay-

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John, drunk: One day I'll be strong and punch the sun-
Alex: Uh yea, pretty sure that's not possible so-
John: I will punch it-
Alex: Look babe if you try and punch the sun you're just gonna burn your hand. Not really sure what you're expecting here-
John: I'm gonna punch it real hard-

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Alex: Where are you-
John: I told you I'm at work-
Alex: Swear you're not at Chuck E. Cheese's again-
John:
*skee ball machine alarm goes off in the background*

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John: You will not step one foot in this room Frances-
Frances: Okay-
[later]
Frances: *walks in on her hands with a smile on her face*

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[airhorn noise]
[airhorn noise again]
Alex: What the heck John-
John: This isn't deodorant-

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Alex: John, why is there a big carrot in the bag of baby carrots-
John, shrugging guiltily: ...they needed adult supervision-

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Alex: One day I'm gonna get a dog that's a cross between a bulldog and a shitzu and I'm gonna call it a-
John: NO-

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John, trying to tell a joke: Knock knock-
Alex: Come in-
John:
John: You know what-

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[Going somewhere nice]

John: Put your tie back on-
Philip: But it hurts my Philip's Apple-
John: For the last timE it's not named after each individual man-

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[When Timmy was born]

Alex: Philip do you wanna hold the baby-
Philip: Okay-
Alex: *hands Timmy to him*
Philip: *holding him like a football* YEET-
John: pHILIP NO-

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[At the petting zoo]

Angie: *sitting around with a bunch of baby chicks*
Alex: Aww they think you're the mommy!
Angie:
Angie: *picks one up and tries putting it in her mouth*
Alex: aNGIE S T O P-

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John: YOU'RE SO ANNOYING I CAN'T BELIEVE I MARRIED YOU-
Alex: /I'M/ ANNOYING?? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO CHEATED-
John: WELL YEAH BUT YOU CHEATED FIRST-
Philip: I think we're done playing Monopoly for tonight-

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Alex, about to sit down with John for dinner: I'm just gonna grab a napkin-
John: *looks at Alex's fries*
Alex: /Don't/ even think about it-
John:
John:
John: *takes a fry*
Alex: *lunges at John* I SAID DON'T-