confident
I took a deep breath and put a smile on my face. I waded through the crowd lining up to get out of the classroom as I made my way to a desk in the middle of the room. There were three girls chatting as they took their time putting their things away.
I stepped closer and when the girl in the middle, Kenna, noticed me, she grinned easily.
"Hi," I said, nodding to all three of them. "Kenna, can I talk to you for a second?"
She nodded, raising a brow at her friends, who smirked and walked away. I felt my palms sweat and wondered when that became a thing. Before my last relationship, I'd never had a problem asking a girl out. The only time I'd been nervous was when I'd first kissed Jason, telling him my feelings for him before that went south, then north, and then way down into the underworld where it burned to ashes.
"What's up. Nate, right?" she asked, her pretty blue eyes shining as she tucked her short hair behind her ear.
I'd only met her once before. She was late to class a few days ago and ended up in a seat next to me in the back. We'd joked about the professor's obvious toupee and I borrowed her a pen that she forgot to give back.
"Do you wanna hang out sometime?" I asked, biting the bullet.
Kenna grinned. "For sure. Want my number?"
Surprised it was that easy, I nodded and she giggled at my expression, holding her hand out for my phone.
She put her number in and called herself, her phone lighting up in her left hand. She handed mine back after sending the call to voicemail and grabbed her things. "I'm going to a party tomorrow night with my friends. I'll text you the address if you wanna come?"
I nodded, smiling as she walked away, slipping out of the less-crammed doorway.
I let out a deep breath in relief. That wasn't so hard at all. Kenna was extremely pretty and probably out of my league, but even she accepted my request for a date.
Walking out of the empty room, I grinned to myself, feeling pleased. Not everyone was as shitty of a person as Jason was, and that's what I needed to remember. I deserved better.
**
"You coming to the party?" I asked Noel over my shoulder as the guy behind the counter in the library checked out the book I needed for my Literature class. He had sharp, deep green eyes and I swore I knew them.
Noel shrugged, gaining my attention again. His brown eyes looked bored. I wondered how his presentation was coming along that he'd been working on for the last few days.
It had been a couple weeks since he'd first gone with Harley and me to the library and this was the first he'd tagged along again since. He wasn't as into going as we were and he once said he didn't understand how I could study so much. I'd only shrugged and said I was used to it, which was true.
I'd had a lot of free time growing up, bored alone at my house when my friends were busy having dinner with their parents. It could have been sad, but I ended up secretly sliding to the top of my graduating class so I guess that made up for it.
It was also easier to put my energy into learning rather than facing my issues, whatever they might be at the time. It probably wasn't healthy, but it was habit.
Noel hummed in response to me. "I s'pose. Harley in?"
I nodded, absentmindedly thanking the library attendant and walking away with Noel and my book. "Yeah, we're gonna meet downstairs at ten."
"Whose party is this again?" Noel asked, hands yet again coolly tucked in his pockets.
I had always associated the stance with insecurity, but that word was so far out of Noel's vocabulary it was laughable. Noel exuded extreme composure and self-assurance at all times without even trying. One look at him and you knew it was natural, not forced in the slightest. I admired him for it.
I shook my head. "No idea. Kenna told me about it."
"Kenna?"
"Yeah a girl from one of my classes. I asked her out."
Noel looked amused, a small grin slipping onto his lips. "Wow, no longer allowing yourself to be cockblocked I see."
I elbowed him lightly as we walked outside. "Shut up. I've been bored."
Noel hummed as if what I said stirred something in his memory. I was momentarily confused until he spoke. "Harley told me about your ex. It's good you're getting back out there."
My blood went cold at his words. They were flippant, casual. But they meant so much more to me. "Harley what?"
Noel looked confused now. "It was Jason, right?"
"When did he tell you that?" I hated the way my tone grew serious.
"I don't know. Week or two ago. Why?"
I plastered a forced smile on. "No reason. Hey, I'll see you later."
Noel's expression was still perplexed. "Uh, okay. See ya, Nat."
I strolled away from him, a newfound purpose guiding every step as I headed back to the dorm. Harley had left the library early, Dante having accidentally locked himself out of the room. There was something about the DA on staff telling him to just wait for his roommate so he didn't have to fill out paperwork if he unlocked it himself.
I pulled my phone out and sent Harley a text.
Sinclair
Dude WTF
Wtf "WTF" ?
You told Noel about Jason???
Oh that
Yeah why
Why tf would you tell him!
He asked
Just as perplexed as Noel had looked five minutes ago, I pressed the call button next to Harley's contact.
He answered after two rings. "I don't wanna hear you bitch at me."
"Well you're gonna." My eyes were glaring at nothing in the air ahead of me as I walked down the sidewalk. The sky was greying and I had a feeling it might start raining soon. "What the fuck?"
"I said he asked!"
I rolled my eyes, hand clenching tighter around my phone. "People don't just ask, 'hey what's my roommates relationship history?'."
"Well it didn't happen like that, doofus."
"Enlighten me."
"Why do you care?"
"Because if you're talking to Noel about my private business I should at least know why and what it is, moron," I hissed, not feeling bad about my rough tone.
"Whatever. We were talking while you were in the bathroom."
"Go on," I snapped.
I heard Harley huff, clearly annoyed. "When you walked away he asked if you were okay because apparently you've been moping around your room. He was curious about the phone thing when Jason messaged you."
"Then what?"
"I just told him it was your ex who cheated on you."
I smacked my lips, face contorting into something closely resembling petulance. "Wow thanks. Make me sound more pathetic, Harley."
"Shut--Dante! Jesus, do you mind?"
I scowled. "Harley!"
"What?" he snarled. "It's not that big of a deal, Nate. I thought you were friends with him."
"I am, but he doesn't need to know shit like that." Out of discomfort, I shifted the weight of my bag around on my shoulders. "It's weird."
"No, it's not." There was a thump on the other side of the line and I heard Dante yell out in protest. Harley sounded muffled and pissed off when he spoke again. "Put some fucking clothes on. The goddamn level of disrespect, I swear to god."
"You know what, I'll talk to you later," I said. Irritated, I ended the call.
***
My palms began to sweat once again as I followed Noel and Rex up the porch stairs of an old house. We were several blocks from campus in a clearly college student only neighborhood.
Music from inside the house drifted out of the open windows. It was dark, save from the numerous blacklights littered around. The party wasn't like what you see in movies. It was loud from chatter and music, but there was nothing crazy happening. Everyone looked normal, only drunk, and a little more handsy and a little more talkative.
Harley was talking to Dylan about Clone Wars behind me and I suddenly felt very alone in the crowded room as Noel and Rex slipped away to do who knew what without a word.
I rubbed at my elbow, glancing around me. A moment later, I saw Kenna's familiar soft face right before she sidled up next to me. She was in tight black shorts and had a navy, silky tank top on. She looked gorgeous.
"Hey, Nate," she called cheerily over the music. She leaned up and kissed me on my cheek, surprising me a hundred times over with how confident she was.
I grinned down at her and took the sealed bottle of beer she offered me. "Thanks. How are you?"
She giggled and I knew she'd already been drinking a bit judging by her own nearly empty beer. "I'm great! Glad you came. Wanna go dance with me and my friends?"
I looked around but didn't see anyone in the room dancing to the music. "Uh--"
"Out back," she said, reading my expression. She grabbed my hand and pulled me along after her through the house. We passed Noel on the way and he gave me a nod, eyes dropping to Kenna and our hands. He smirked, approval in his gaze. He nudged Rex at his side, who followed his nod and wiggled his eyebrows at me suggestively when he caught sight of Kenna.
I looked away, focusing on where she was taking me. She was right. While no one inside the house was dancing at all, the small backyard was filled with people who were--all of them clearly quite drunk but having a blast as if they were in some club.
I took a large swig of my beer that I popped open and began dancing with Kenna next to her two friends from class. I held her hand above her and spun her around as she shook her hips.
Her laughter was bright, filling me with happiness. I let all other thoughts drift away and focused on having a carefree night with an enigmatic, beautiful girl.