Micah Bell X Female Reader
Summary: "who they are jealous of" but in a oneshot.
Word Count: 2300
Being involved with Micah Bell was unlike any relationship you have been in before. The emotional unavailability should have been enough to drive you away but it didn't, because when you least expected it he would do something so unlike himself, reminding you why you were with him in the first place.
It was difficult to get through to him at all at the beginning of your relationship, almost impossible to get some softer moments with him. But you slowly started to earn more of his trust and he started to feel more comfortable with you, resulting in more genuine soft moments and shared innocent affection.
Still, receiving that affection in public was rare even now. Of course, he just couldn't afford to look weak in front of the other members of the gang.
If anyone were to ask you about Micah's behaviour you would probably just tell them that he didn't care all that much. That he didn't like public displays of affection and he didn't feel the need to do so. Though, that wasn't exactly the truth.
Not that Micah would ever admit it out loud, but he knew that he wasn't very emotionally available. Physically, he would be there whenever you wanted him to be. Emotionally, well, he struggled with that more. It wasn't that he didn't want to have you close, to show you affection, to be more open with you, it was more that he...couldn't. Even if something within him wanted too. Again, he wouldn't admit that.
Of course, this knowledge caused Micah's mind to wander to a place he wasn't familiar with. Relationships had never really been his thing and therefore insecurities about his relationship had never been a thing, until now.
Sometimes he would just look up at you across the camp, and find himself worrying about things he had never worried about before. He finds himself wondering is you would rather be with somebody more emotionally available, somebody a little softer, a little less rough around the edges.
Despite Micah always seeming to think that he is better than everyone else, he gets more insecure and jealous than you might expect.
Now, Micah doesn't just get jealous of anyone. He doesn't get jealous of the random men who hit on you in the saloon, he just laughs at them as he pulls you into his side, he knows that you would never be interested in them. He doesn't get jealous of most of the gang either, since he still does consider himself to be better than them...with the exception of two men that just seemed to get under his skin.
-----
Most of the gang was aware that Dutch had a weakness for women. Despite being with Miss O'Shea, everyone had caught him flirting with Mary-Beth at least once. Micah didn't think that their leader was opposed to turning on the charm around women who were already spoken for, considering he was already spoken for, maybe that was why he was so tense as he watched the man talking to you.
Sure, Micah didn't think of Dutch as the mighty leader that he claimed to, that he told Dutch he was, but Dutch was still your leader.
He supposed that there was a small worry at the back of his mind that if Dutch decided to properly pursue you, you would leave him. In his mind it made sense that if you were to leave him it would be for Dutch, a man of a 'higher rank', your leader, his leader. You wouldn't have to work, surely Dutch would pamper you (at least for the beginning of your relationship), and you would have a newfound power in the camp. Maybe Micah just had to remind himself that that isn't what you wanted anyway.
It was a possibility that Dutch's authority and power in the camp only fed into his jealously. Either way, he didn't like the way that Dutch smiled at you or shifted his weight to lean towards you slightly. You seemed pretty oblivious to it, nodding along with whatever he was saying.
Thankfully, as soon as you were finished talking to Dutch, you walked straight over to Micah and sat down beside him. This made him relax. Without any explanation, Micah wrapped an arm around you protectively, smirking to himself when you lent into his side.
"Dutch have anything interesting to say?" Micah asked, feigning disinterest.
"Nah, just talking about that Evelyn Miller feller" you shook your head.
"Hmm...that interest you?" Micah glanced down at you curiously.
"Not really, kinda boring actually" you confessed with a small chuckle.
"Hmm" he just hummed.
"You alright?" you asked, looking up at him, a little concerned by his reaction. Was something wrong?
"Sure" Micah nodded but he wasn't very convincing. You frowned slightly before just nodding and leaning into his side again, he was probably just in a weird mood and would be fine again tomorrow.
-----
You walked over to Arthur as he was getting his horse ready to ride out somewhere, so you assumed this was the perfect time to make your request.
"Hey, Arthur" you greeted him with a smile.
"Hey, Y/n. You alright?" Arthur pulled away from his horse and turned back to you.
"Yeah, I was just wondering if you could do me a favour?" you confessed.
"Depends, what it is?" Arthur asked.
"No rush or anything, could you just pick some things up for me when you next pass through town? Like I said, no rush. Just whenever you can and I'll give you the cash for it, of course" you assured him, not wanting to bother him too much.
"Sure, not a problem" Arthur chuckled. "You got a list or something?" he asked.
"Yeah, it's nothing much. Some of it is some stuff that Dutch needs as well" you told him as you took the list out of your pocket and held it out to him.
"What's this?" Micah's question got both of your attention, watching him as he snatched the list from your hand. You just raised an eyebrow at him as he read over the small slip of paper. "I got it, fuck off Morgan" he waved his hand dismissively at the other man.
"Micah?" you frowned at his strange behaviour.
"I'll see ya later. If you still need anything later, you know where to find me" Arthur told you.
"Thank you" you nodded politely at him as he mounted his horse and rode away. "Is there a problem?" you asked Micah, turning back to him once Arthur was out of sight.
"Do you think I can't do that for ya?" Micah asked, waving the list at you.
"What?" you frowned, even more confused now.
"If you need something doing, you come to me. Not Arthur" Micah told you sternly, still leaving you confused.
"...alright. I just didn't want to bother you and Arthur was already leaving the camp. I assumed he'd get the stuff on the way back" you explained with a small shrug, not seeing what the problem was.
"In the future you come to me first" Micah asserted as he pocketed the list and walked over to Baylock.
You just frowned as you followed him, trying to understand what was bothering him. And then, just like that, you realised what was going on. "Wait...are you jealous because I asked Arthur to run an errand for me?" you asked.
"I ain't fucking jealous" Micah scoffed but you weren't stupid, you knew when he was lying.
"Good, 'cause you have no reason to be" you placed your hand on his arm, stopping him from mounting Baylock and making him to turn to face you before leaning up and pressing a quick kiss to his lips. "Maybe I was sending Arthur because I didn't want you to leave the gang" you teased as you wrapped your arms around his neck.
"That so?" Micah smirked as he slipped an arm around your waist to hold you closer to him.
"Yeah but you've insisted that you have to take care of it, so I guess I'll see you later" you pouted playfully before pulling away from him completely, making him huff in frustration. "Oh stop frowning. Later" you promised, leaning up to give him another quick kiss before walking away.
Micah just muttered to himself as he mounted his horse. Great, now he had to go into town to run some errands.
He would never admit it to anybody, barely even to himself but sometimes he got a little concerned when he saw that you were getting close to Arthur. Sometimes his mind just wandered and he realised that everyone else seemed to love Arthur (and prefer him to Micah by an infinite amount) so it made him wonder: why wouldn't you?
This was a perfect example, you had needed something done and you went to Arthur without even mentioning it to him first. It just made Micah wonder. Did you admire Arthur as much the rest of the gang seem too? Did you think Arthur was more capable, more likely to do a favour for you...did you prefer Arthur to him?
-----
Not being as dense as your significant other, you knew that something wasn't right with Micah. He had been acting strange, at least strange for him. You knew what it was, you weren't stupid, it started when he had seen you talking to Dutch and you could see how much it bothered him when you were asking Arthur to run an errand for you.
Micah was jealous, though you couldn't really understand why. Everyone knew that you were with him and you never expressed interest in anyone else, you were often with him in the camp and even out of it. Still, you could see how it was bothering him and that he would never talk to you about it, so you decided to take the initiative.
It was late in the evening and you were in your tent, knowing that Micah would be in soon and you would be able to talk to him. It wasn't long before Micah stepped into the tent and closed the canvas behind him.
"You alright?" you asked casually as you stood from the cot and walked up to him.
"Yeah" Micah nodded, looking down at you curious. He hadn't been expecting the question.
"Are you sure there isn't anything you want to talk about?" you prompted, giving him the chance to just be honest and vulnerable with you for a moment.
"No...should there be?" Micah's brow furrowed in confusion.
"I dunno...I think there is" you shrugged.
"Alright then, smartass" you could hear the fondness in his voice as he placed his hands on your hips. "What would that be?" he asked.
"...how come you've been acting so strange...about Dutch and Arthur recently" you looked up at him seriously.
"Dunno what you're talking about" Micah mumbled, his grip on your hips instantly loosening.
"Micah...please talk to me" you whispered as you placed your hands on his chest, not wanting him to pull away from you now.
"You were jealous, right?" you asked softly, not even a hint of teasing in your tone.
"I wasn't jealous. I don't get jealous" Micah assured you firmly.
"You don't have to give me all the details but I know you were, I'm not stupid. I saw how bothered you were when I asked Arthur to run a simple errand for me" you told him, noticing how his jaw clenched and he looked off to the side. "See, I know you better that you think I do" you smiled slightly, bringing your hand up to push his hair out of his face.
"Why would I be jealous of Morgan?" Micah asked gruffly.
"I don't know. You shouldn't be. Y'know why?" you asked as you slipped your arms around his neck.
"Why?" he squinted at you.
"Because I love you and I'm only interested in you. Arthur is always running around for something, so I asked him to pick up that shit when he was out. If I needed somebody to do something important for me, the first person I would go to is you" you reminded him. "You still don't have to say anything but I promise you that you don't have to worry about anything or be jealous about anyone. You have me, I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere" you promised him, leaning up to kiss his cheek.
When he didn't say anything, you moved to plant a kiss on his other cheek. Still receiving no response, you started to scatter kisses over his cheeks and along both sides of his jaw.
"Alright, cut that shit out" Micah grunted but made no effort to push you away.
"I think you like it" you teased as you continued to kiss over his face and neck.
"I'm sure you do" Micah mused as his grip on your hips tightened again, pulling you closer to him and making you smile.
"You do" you insisted as you kissed his cheek again, then the corner of his mouth, and finally his lips. Micah instantly kissed you back, wrapping an arm around your waist and pressing a hand to the small of your back.
You knew that comforting Micah involved a lot of talking at him, since he was very unlikely to respond with anything too vulnerable or sincere. You didn't mind all that much though, as long as he was feeling more secure about your feelings for him, it had been a success. Maybe he would be a little more open about his jealously in the future. For now, as long as it didn't effect your relationship, you could handle it.
"I love you, Micah" you whispered against his lips as you pulled away from the kiss slightly, running your fingers through his hair.
"I love ya too, darlin'" Micah ran his hand up your back.
"I know" you smiled as you secured your arms around his neck some more, holding yourself closer to him. Micah rolled his eyes fondly before wiping away your smile by kissing you again.
You were right, you were here with him, not Dutch or Arthur. You had been bored by Dutch's literature lecture, only gone to Arthur to ask him to run your chores. But when you wanted company of any kind, you came to him. You were right, Micah could see that.
Requests are Closed!