ok so it's technically midnight in the UK which means it's monday & i can post this.
no one will comment so idk why i'm writing this BUT....should i release the first chapter of my next book today? it's a simon & talia one & the next one in this series! i'm excited to release it & had the urge to do it today....please please PLEASE tell me if you want it now or if you want to wait for this one to finish. love u!
I've linked the song! So once again I'll give you a little warning when to listen to it!
Surprisingly enough, the first alarm I had set woke me up. usually me and alarms didn't get along - I had a tendency to sleep right through them, but this one had done the trick. Or maybe, it was the nerves that had woken me up, but all the same I was grateful.
Today was the big day. Or, well, the first of many big days. The first studio recording session. I was nervous, nervous that i wouldn't be good enough, worried that Joe wouldn't be able to work with my ideas. I had a few, but even then I was unsure if they were worthy enough.
Pushing these thoughts to the back of my head, I got out of bed and headed straight to the bathroom. I was in great need of a shower. Or, I was before my phone flashed up and started making a noise. Harry was trying to call me.
I paused, before quickly accepting the call. I really didn't have time for this, it was already eight am, I only had just under an hour to get ready.
"Hey!" I greeted, brushing my hair quickly. "I don't really have much time to talk, I was just about to have a shower." I apologised, flashing him a small grin.
"Right - yeah, sorry. Just wanted to wish you good luck, and tell you not to overthink it because I know exactly what's going through your head right now!"
To be fair to him, he had guessed it spot on.
"I'll try not to overthink too much! And thank you, I'll call you back later and tell you all about it," I promised, blowing him a kiss before hanging up. I felt a bit mean that I had hung up so quickly, but I could not be late on the first day, it would create a bad first impression.
My shower had been short but sweet, and now I was applying final touches of makeup. I had gone for a casual jumper and jeans look, and had tied my hair up in a ponytail. My phone was fully charged, and I had packed some snacks and water, along with my journal, where I wrote down all my ideas.
I checked the time - it was just coming up to ten to nine, meaning that Fred was probably parked outside. I grabbed my key-card and locked my door, pressing the ground floor button in the lift. I was alone in the lift, so I whipped out my phone, taking a couple of pictures in the mirror. I had to admit, I did look good today.
It arrived on ground floor, and a male was at the desk. That must've been Liam, as Andrea had told me.
I noticed the same car parked out front, and I opened the door, mumbling a quick hello to Fred.
"Miss Minter! How are you feeling for your first day?" He asked politely, pulling out of the car park.
"Fred, call me Sophie! But yes, I'm excited. very nervous though," I said truthfully, buckling myself in.
Whilst it was still chilly, the sun was out today, and I appreciated this beautiful city a lot more than I did when I arrived on Friday.
"You'll be fine. They'll love you in there," he assured me, and I smiled gratefully in return.
We pulled up at the studio again, and I saw a waving Andrea waiting for me. I thanked Fred and walked into the building, greeting Andrea.
"You feeling ready for today?" She asked, leading the way once more. I nodded, quietly responding that yes, I was feeling ready for today.
As we came across the familiar door labelled Studio B, I saw a couple of friendly faces; Joe and Kyle. They smiled when they saw me, motioning for me to come on in.
"Hey Sophie! How have you been settling in?" Kyle asked, bringing me in for a quick hug.
"Pretty good, the apartment is absolutely amazing," I spoke truthfully, setting my bag down and taking a seat.
"So, Joe is going to explain how this all works, and myself and Andrea will be around if you need us, but apart from that I'll come back in a couple of hours and see how you've gotten on, sound alright?" Kyle explained, muttering a quick goodbye to Joe as the two of us were left in the studio together.
He was around my age, if not a little older and he seemed nice enough. He must be very talented if he was a music producer for RecordX.
"So, Sophie. Have you got any ideas with you today? Or are we starting from scratch?" He asked, leaning back in his chair.
I reached into my bag, and pulled out my journal. "I have something, it's like the one I sent to you guys..a little personal, but then again I write from experience," I explained.
"Alright. You wanna sing it or explain the lyrics?"
"I'll sing it first and then explain the lyrics? I've sort of got the tune, and some of the lyrics I put there just to rhyme but.." I trailed off as I noticed he was nodding his head.
"Start whenever you're ready, we won't record just yet, lets hear what you've got."
My mind flashed back a couple of weeks, where I had first got the inspiration for the song. I shook back any last minute nerves, and opened the page of my journal, reading my scrawny handwriting.
Play song now
"Hope I never see you in the right light,
Hope I always catch you at the wrong time,
If you let me take a picture of your bad side,
And you like it, well, that's a good sign,
I know you're not a fan of double texting,
But you don't always gotta leave me guessing,
I know you wanna leave a good impression,
But you did it, you did without tryin."
I finished singing the first verse, looking over at Joe to see if I should keep on singing, and he gave me a thumbs up.
"I like your soul when it's shirtless
Cuz it's just like mine
I like your hands when they're nervous
And they're all over mine, like yeah
Show me under the surface
And we can cross that line
When you stop acting perfect"
"Baby take off all your cool
Cool, cool
I'll take off mine too
When you take off all your cool
Cool, cool
I'll take off mine too
When you take it all off"
"We could even kick it in the driveway
Cuz you know I'm not tryna over complicate
If showin' all your colours led to heartbreak
Then let it break on me"
"Don't play hard to get
Be hard to forget
Don't play hard to get
Don't play hard to get
Be hard to forget
Don't play hard to get"
I finished singing all the lyrics I had written and looked over at Joe who looked deep in thought. He slowly looked up at me, and he looked as if he had just stumbled across a chest of gold. He looked dumbfounded.
"Firstly, that was incredible. We can definitely work with that. Secondly, who is the person you're singing about in the songs? Tell me why you wrote this song, it'll help with the dynamics and to determine the rhythm we will go with."
I took a deep breath, sitting down on a chair next to him. "It's mostly about my boyfriend, Harry. There was an incident with one of his friends about a month ago - looking back on it, it seems so silly now, but one of his best friends had been eyeing me up for a while, and when Harry found out he just felt betrayed, and scared and vulnerable. And he kept apologising for letting his walls down completely so I wrote about it. I wanted to catch him at a point where he wasn't expecting it - his most vulnerable. I wanted to say how he doesn't have to be in a certain light to be flattering -"
"Because every light you see him in is flattering!" Joe finished my sentence, catching on.
"Yeah, exactly! And so the wrong time is when he's not feeling the best, when he is feeling vulnerable, because we love each other and it's okay to be weak in each other's company. I want to tell him that he has no bad side, it's all perfect to me, he's perfect and I want him to understand that, and hopefully see himself the same. For him to understand that it's okay to be vulnerable in front of me. I like it when he's open to me, you know? It makes me feel like he completely trusts me, like I trust him."
"What about the double texting part?" He asked, scratching his chin.
"Oh! That bit is about me, when I always double text him because I'm clingy and assume the worst," I joke, recalling the first time I had double texted him and he had left me on delivered for three hours. I had been so convinced he had gotten bored of me!
"And then the chorus is just kind of like, let's be vulnerable together, you get it? We can both be open to each other." I finished, taking a deep breath once more. It felt like I had just spilled my darkest secret to a complete stranger.
"Well, we can definitely work on that. I think your verses are incredible, the lyrics of the chorus is good, we just need to arrange the rhythm. I'm thinking we repeat the prechorus and chorus two more times? And then put the 'Don't play hard to get, be hard to forget,' part near the end. You wanna record that, same melody again? I'll work outside, adding some stuff in." He told me and I complied, walking into the booth. For the first day, things were going very well.
-
Myself and Joe had been working on harmonies all day, and by four in the evening we had nearly pulled off an entire song.
A takeout box lay empty on the table as we both shared funny stories about our careers over the booth.
"You know, you're really talented. I think you're really gonna make it," he said seriously, causing my expression to change.
"Thanks, Joe. I really appreciate it. I was really shook when I received the email, like, RecordX are the big deal!"
As we were talking, the door opened and Kyle and Andrea walked through.
"Hey guys! I hope it's been a productive day, show me what you got," He spoke, coming over to sit on the couch in the corner of the room.
"It's not quite finished, there's some work to do on my end but here's what we have so far," Joe explained, pressing a couple of buttons on the computer screen. Before I knew it, my voice was blasting through the studio, the harmonies sounding particularly blissful.
Whilst the lyrics were of a more serious and emotional nature, we had turned it into an upbeat song, the bass sounding particularly powerful. I noticed Kyle bopping his head and me and Joe shared a subtle smile, as if to say, 'we did good'.
The song came to an end, and we sat in silence before Kyle started clapping his hands. "Great work today, guys. Sophie, I'll email your studio timetable later tonight, and even though it wont be a lot, please keep working your marvellous little brain at your apartment. I'll you later!" He spoke, beckoning Andrea to follow him out of the room.
"He doesn't wait around, huh?" I joked to Joe, who returned the smile.
"He's a very busy man," He defended him, but I saw him laugh.
Before I had a chance to pack up, Andy came into the room. I waved to him, and he motioned for me to have a private chat with him.
"Hey, Andy. What's up?"
"Just here to remind you that you can't tell anyone about the songs you're writing until they've been released by RecordX, part of the contract, kiddo." He explained, and I could've sworn I saw him looking a little bit pitiful.
"So I can't even tell Harry, I'm guessing," I spoke sadly.
"I'm afraid not," He apologised, to which I replied with a sigh. I didn't want Harry to think I wasn't telling him because I didn't want him to know, because I did. I would just have to hope he wouldn't take it too personally.
"Alright, thanks for reminding me," I said kindly, before uttering a goodbye and see-you-later to Joe.
As expected, Fred was outside in the car park once again waiting for me. Climbing into the back of the car, I told him about my day, and in return he told me about his.
Before I knew it I was back at my apartment, ready to collapse on my bed.
No.
I promised Harry I would call him, so I would call him.
Clicking onto his contact I pressed the face time option and waited for him to pick up. It was as if he was practically waiting for me to phone as he picked up immediately.
"Hey bub!" He said excitedly, and my heart practically melted.
"Hey you," I replied, my smile growing by the second.
"How was studio day, anything good come out of it?"
Well, this was the question I hadn't wanted to come up.
"Yeah, the studio day went good, we got some stuff out of it," I replied, trying to stay as vague as I could without directly mentioning the contract.
"Do I get to hear the sneak peak orrr?" He asked.
"I - I want to.." I started, already feeling guilty as I saw the look on his face. "I really really want to but part of my contract says I can't tell anyone about the songs until RecordX release them..I'm sorry," I apologised.
"No, no. Don't apologise, I understand," He spoke quietly, and I could tell by the tone in his voice that this had not been what he was expecting.
"I miss you.." I said in a hopeful tone, desperately trying to lighten the situation. It seemed to work, or temporarily at least, as he smiled and told me he missed me too. I knew he was still upset, but what good was I, six hours away?
"I lo-"
"I need -"
"You go first," I said awkwardly.
"I was just saying that I needed to go..I promised a stream at half four."
Oh.
"Oh, alright. I'll come join the stream for a while," I smiled halfheartedly, and he murmured a response before we said our goodbyes.
As we ended the call, an unsettling feeling lingered in my chest. Not even a week in and I could feel an unwelcome drift coming between me and him, I didn't like the feel of it.
I also worried about Harry, not knowing how he was coping back down in London. I was faring alright by myself In Manchester, but it seemed like Harry was the opposite.
I opened my text messages, and clicked on Simon.
Can you do me a favour?
Hi to you too But sure what's up?
Can you check on Harry for me?
Like make sure he's ok?
I can do yeah
Is everything ok with him?
Think so, he just felt a little bit down on our call
Yeah sure, I'll check in on him
Thank you! Also don't think I haven't been informed that Talia stayed round with you. When we face time I'll be grilling you allllll about it
....
Speak to you soon x
Can't wait x
I grinned at my phone before heading over to twitch, where Harry had just started streaming another random game. I linked it to the TV in my bedroom and just lay in bed, watching him freak out over results in games, each time he shrieked a smile forming on my face. I couldn't wait for the moment I would get to see him again, but for the time being, I started writing more notes down in my journal.
An hour passed and I was still watching Harry's stream. As promised, Kyle had emailed me the dates I would be in studio, and he hadn't been lying when he said there wouldn't be many.
Over the course of the four months I would be in the studio seven more times, and it hardly felt like any time. Of course, I asked Andrea about this, and she told me it was RecordX's way of giving up and coming artists a feel of what it was like to record, and hopefully bring them back for a proper, and longer contract.
It made sense, it was clever. But it made me want to work that much harder when I was in the studio.
Apart from that, it meant that I now had much more time in Manchester, and maybe I could invite Harry up here for a while, or maybe venture back down to him.
The thought of seeing him made me instantly happy, but it was bittersweet because it made me miss him a whole lot more.
Soon, I kept telling myself. Soon.