Hayley is played by Phoebe Tonkin ^.^
Song ATM Don't Speak by No Doubt
*****
As I sat down getting comfy after a long day, I looked up to see Hayley smirking. "What?" I asked smiling. "How's Cameron?" "Good" I quickly answer making sure my mind didn't fully go on earlier activities. Her eyes narrowed still watching me "Soo... are you two back together?"
I shook my head not looking down knowing how this convo was gonna go. "When the hell is that gonna happen?" she demanded and I shrugged "When everything... gets better. We're friends though" I reassured and she nodded not responding making me nervous.
"I just want to make sure he means what he says..." I whispered looking away. He seems to be better though. He doesn't seem to drink much- not including that one night... but, he's calm now. Everything that has happen in New York seems to be behind him.
Is it bad that I just wanted to sit back and see that everything was good before jumping in?
"And you agreed to be his personal assistant huh?" she asked. I nodded and she busted out laughing. "Oh yeah, he has you right in arms reach. You might as well give in now" she joked and I laughed shaking my head. "What makes you so sure?" "You love him" she stated and I nodded.
"Of course I do. Always will..." I stated looking down at my fingers. I would always love this guy, not matter what happens between us but, I needed to come first.
"I just don't want to... feel how I did again" I said looking up to see her nodding. "That's understandable" "I don't want him to think i'm messing with his feeling but, I don't want to feel that... hurt again. I know at the time it was hard for him and he's recovering now so i'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. I just don't want him to feel like i'm waiting for him to mess up eith-"
"You don't have to explain it to me, I understand but, does he?" she asked and I shook my head. "We haven't talked about the relationship really, not much since the day he came to my house" She froze looking at me confused. "What day?" she asked.
Shit. Never told her.
"Umm.. he came over and we talk- more like argued that morning. It was bad, thought everything would crumble once again. We yelled and screamed but, then he just said his real feelings and ... it just made sense kind of"
"That you are meant to be together..." she stated smiling and I shrugged trying to hide my smile. She sighed shaking her head "Can't believe you two have to go through all this to state the fucking obvious"
****
Saturday Night
****
I laughed leaning on Cam as Hayley and Josh argued on who would pay for their part of dinner. Once Josh said it was the mans duty to pay Hayley argued back saying a women should be able to treat her man out too. Cameron already warned me not to start the argument tonight so I just left it alone... this time. It was too entertaining watching them go at it.
I looked over to Cam as he grabbed my hand squeezing it "Seem to be feeling better" he whispered and I smiled nodding. Since the convo with Hayley, I have been a bit guilty about the way i've been with Cam. Did he understand that I wanted this to work just as much as him? Did he understand that all I need is some more time and reassurance before I fully jump back in?
That's all I needed and we could continue what we wanted to start here.
"Yeah" I whispered smiling and he nodded "Good... You know that you can always talk to me, about anything right?" he whispered and I bit my lip looking down. "I know... thank you" I whispered hoping he would leave the subject till I was ready to talk about it.
"No problem... so how long do you think this will go on for?" he asked and I looked up and looked at Hayley and Josh still going at it. I laughed shaking my head "Till Hayley gives in. Josh isn't going to give up, he never does but. I think their relationship is so cute" "And what do you think about us?" he asked leaning over. I chuckled thinking of a word to describe us.
"We are Crazybeautiful" I couldn't put it in one category, It was beautiful just as it was crazy.
He looked at me then busted out laughing "Couldnt agree with you more" I laughed looking away as he pulled me closer and I didn't do anything to stop him as he leaned in to kiss me even if I should.
This was the wrong message. It sent him the message that everything was fine between us. But-
My body went to flames instantly making me forget everything and focus on his lips. By the time he pulled away, we were out of breath but, I was craving him more.
"I'll stop myself before I get carried away" he whispered as I sat there wishing he would but, I sighed nodding looking around not wanting to look into those green eyes.
I continued looking around trying to calm myself down but failed once I met blue eyes.
Nick.
What the actual fuck was he doing here? He lived like three hours from here. Please just ignore us and stay with your friends.
Nope.
I looked up to see his eyes still on me and now he was whispering to his friends.
I wasn't sure how Cameron and Nick would be seeing each other. They knew each other somehow and Cam knew Nick was an asshole before I did and warned me. Even dragged me out of the house he had the party in when I was ready to burn it down. It would probably be awkward, we at least for me. I didn't want to have to deal with this. I was ready to go.
I looked at Cam with a small smile "You want to get out of here?" I asked and he looked at me suspiciously. He turned around freezing as they made contact then looked back at me. His grip on me tighten but he didn't move. "Don't worry about him" I whispered touching his hand gently.
I smiled and thankfully he returned it nodding "I'm not. I'm fine as long as he stays away from you" he stated in a serious tone and I nodded turning back to my food hoping this was go by smoothly but of course, it didn't.
"Come on let's go" he stated getting up after a few minutes of silence. "Why?" I asked following getting up as he walked over to me. "He's staring at you and I'm ready to fucking break his neck" he spat pulling his wallet out and putting money on the table as Hayley and Josh looked up confused.
I grabbed my bag without another word and he held his hand out for me. I took it and his grip tightened a bit as we passed him. "Already leaving?" a voice said behind me but we continued walking. I smiled happily that he continued walking.
"Come on the night just started. Stay or are you scared that she might run into my arms once you fuck up again?" Nick taunted. I rolled my eyes, nothing would ever make me run into his arms again. NOTHING.
I started walking ahead of Cam and reached out for the door "Ignore him he just being immature, don't know why though" I said rolling my eyes "Yeah listen to your prude bitch" I was instantly pulled back when Cam came to a hault. I turned seeing him breathing hard. He was close to losing it. "Cam please" I whispered pulling him but he wouldn't budge. Hayley and Josh walked behind him shaking their head.
"Why is that asshole here?" "I don't know, I don't care. Let's just get out of here" I said quickly pulling him out of the restaurant with Hayley being dragged my Josh right behind us still cursing. I sighed as Cam turned when Nick called my name.
"What Nick?" I spat getting pissed and wanting to slap the smirk off his face. "So after all the crying and bullshit about moving on, you still end up back with him. You're really that pathetic?" he laughed and Hayley was the first to react.
"Listen you fucking prick, back the fuck off before I punch your fucking teeth out-" "Hayley let's just go-" "Last thing I remember you didn't get anything out of that bet" Hayley snapped and Josh pulled her. "He's not worth it let's just go" I pleaded and Cam looked at me taking a deep breath.
"Still as stupid and desperate as I thought. Should have let me fuc-"
Before I could even react, Cameron was out of my grasp, he was running towards Nick and his friend. Before I could even make a step, his fist connected with Nicks face. Hard. Nick's body hit the floor and Cameron was on him hitting him again.
Before I could even realized it my feet were moving, my hands were shaking and I was pulling his jacket roughly to get him off a bloody Nick.
"Cam!"
****
Silence.
That's all there was since I walked in this morning. He disappeared after laying Nick out cold and Hayley and Josh had to drop me home. I don't know what he was thinking but I was sure that I wasn't mad at him for what happen. Nick pushed him and kept pushing till Cam snapped.
Of course violence is never the answer but hell, I was ready to kick Nick's ass and so what Hayley and Josh.
I didn't bother asking him if he wanted to go out for lunch and he didn't either. With every minute getting closer to lunch my heart hurt more.
He really wasn't going to speak to me today...
"John wants to reschedule the meeting at three for next week due to a family emergency" I said finally looking over to him as his eyes stayed on the paperwork he was going through. I bit my lip waiting for any acknowledgement.
After several seconds he sighed nodding "Send my best regards to him and his family. Tell him to let me know when's a good time" he stated not even looking up. I swallowed hard looking back to the computer to respond to the email.
Why couldn't this just be talked out?
Why was he pulling away from me again?
I hated this part of me. The part that knew this is what I meant about us not being able to work out. He was pulling away and I promised myself I wouldn't do this again. Yet I wanted to try to work it out, make him understand that it's still okay to mess up. All that mattered was him recovering from it correctly.
Not this.
I sighed getting up nervously walking over to him. He stayed focus on the papers as I leaned my bottom on the desk facing him. He was concentrating hard.
"Why are we going through this again?" I whispered looking down "Going through what?" "You're pulling away from me again" I answered hoping he would see what he was doing and... I don't know somehow stop it but, I was let down and hurt by his next words.
"It's not pulling away if you didn't have me in the first place" I froze and my head snapped up to him. What. Was he serious?
"W-what does that mean" I snapped back and he turned to me finally "Why does it matter Leah? We aren't together and you're making sure of that. No matter what I do, it's not enough anymore" he spat then looked back down as I bit my lip instantly feeling guilty. Thought he said he would take what I could give him but, Hayley warned me about this and I thought in time I would be able to explain it but, it was too late. I should have spoke to him about it.
"Right..." I whispered getting off the desk feeling my heart hurt with every beat. Tears already started to form as I walked to my desk quietly trying to calm myself. I didn't want to argue with him but, I don't want him to think I didn't want this to work, I did.
"I want this to wor-" "No you don't, you were waiting for me to fuck up... and I did" he said simply and I looked back at him shaking my head "I do Cam, I do want this to work but, I was trying to prevent the same cycle from happening. I don't want anything like how it was that summer..." "Like what?" he snapped and I throw my hand up in his direction.
"That... Snapping at me. The first time you think you mess up you push me away. As far as you possibly could and... I'm trying to hold on because I want yo-" "You let go though" "Because you left me no choice" I screamed feeling anger overwhelm me. I did feel guilty for letting him think that way but, I wasn't the only one at fault here.
I was willing to forgive and forget but he still kept beating himself up over mistakes. He pulled away and lashed out in anger over it. Even after the incident with Nick, I would have still went back to his house with no problem. Nick was saying disgusting things that did hurt and he stepped in to protect me.
Once again, violence wasn't the answer but, I would have let it slide.
But, he didn't want to...
I don't understand it though, if I was okay with it, why was he acting like this? I fucking wanted us again.
"If I didn't want this to work, I wouldn't be here. If I didn't want this to work, I wouldn't be arguing with you..." He didn't look back up and I felt like he didn't care about anything I was saying. He didn't care that I was trying to explain it to him.
Realization hit seeing how this was going to go between us.
I got up not saying another word as I started grabbing my things. "I'm tired of this" "Of what? he asked finally speaking up but I didn't care now.
This is how it will always be if you keep doing this....
I know...
"The back and forth with you Cameron. You say you want this then go back to your old ways, I'm tired of trying to keep reassuring you that I want this. You should know that yet you act like you don't..."
I looked up to him taking a deep breath and trying to swallow the lump in my throat "...Maybe we were only mean to have a high school love and move on after that" I said then turned throwing my stuff in my bag quickly. "Leah-"
"No" I said shaking my head "I'm not doing this again. I'm not doing this over and over again! I'm not going to be you punching bag every time you mess up, I'm not going to sit here and be seen as the bad guy either. I keep trying to make this work Cameron. I want you and I love you. I know I don't always say the right things but you can never say I don't try to help" I said glaring at him as he watched me unsure of what to do or say.
"You say I don't want this to work when you don't want this to work Cameron-" "I do-" "You don't. If you did you wouldn't act the way you do. You wouldn't push me away when you know that's the thing that could break this and ....me "
He stood up quickly "I'm not trying to hurt yo-" "It hurt me before, what makes you think it won't now?" He looked away silent and I sighed wiping the tears grabbing the rest of my stuff.
"Don't worry about it anymore... Only thing you hold on to now that... is this is it. No calls, text, stopping by, nothing" I stated as my phone started vibrating in my hand. "Leah..." I ignored him storming out ignoring the stares from people.
This was it, I wouldn't do this again, I have to come first. This will get better once I move on I reassured myself over and over feeling my phone vibrate again.
I sighed looking down to my phone seeing dad and I quickly picked it up continuing to walk "Hey dad whats up?" I asked trying to sound like my regular self. Last thing I need is my parent in my business and complaining that I should have stayed closer.
"... Leah..umm... I need you to... get home as soon as you can..."
I know it's late but....
HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GREAT CHRISTMAS. LOVE YOU GUYS!!!! <3