Stay With Me

Chapter 48

Songs ATM:
On the way down by Ryan Cabrera
For you I will by Teddy Geiger
Crawl by Chris Brown

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Fuck my heart was pounding with my hands were shaking as I sat here. I was happy to see her again, just to see that face again and hopefully her smile.

This was the first time we actually talked since everything.

Last time didn't count due to her being intoxicated.

This was it...

I sat in chipotle with a chicken burrito for me and a bowl for her. I didn't even eat it, I couldn't. My stomach was in knots and she wasn't even here yet. I checked my phone sighing 5:01 pm. She'll be here I thought putting it down, looking around then taking a sip of my coke.

By 5:05pm, I was panicking. She wasn't coming... she changed her mind. There's no chance of us working again. I won't marry her, she won't have my children. I was going to die of misery and loneliness.

"Hey" I jumped looking up hearing that beautiful voice in front of me. It hit me like a trunk. She gave me a small smile and I quickly returned it unable to say anything but watch her. She had two goddess braids pulling her brown hair away to show all of her face and flawless, smooth, soft brown skin. She looked better... she looked like she was finally sleeping, eating, moving on. As she should.

I hope.

I just sat there for a few seconds watching her scoot into the booth. Jesus...Just a tee and jeans was all she needed to look beautiful. Natural beauty is what she had and what I loved about her....

"Sorry i'm a little late, seems like everyone forgot how to drive today. Idiots" she muttered rolling her eyes and making me laugh nodding. Still has that sass I love... I shook my head giving her a reassuring smile. She could do no wrong in my eyes...

"No it's fine. Things happen, it's fine.... Just kind of thought you... changed your mind or something" I whispered chuckling trying to hide my embarrassment but it was no use. She knew "I wouldn't do that. And if I couldn't make it, I wouldn't leave you sitting here. I'll call or text you" she explains and I smiled looking away. Okay that was a good sign, meant she didn't hated me. Or as much as she did.

Now what?

A few minutes went by, she dug into her food and I took a few bites of mine trying to stall to think of something. Fuck I didn't think this through... I should've thought about what to say... I had a full day to think of this and now I was here looking fucking stupid. I know what I want to say... just don't know how to say it.

I can't just blurt out I want her again, I have to warm her up or try.

"So how are you doing?" she spoke up pulling me out of my thoughts. I looked up to see her watching me still smiling. I nodded smiling back "Good... You?" I asked trying to calm myself down.

"Same..." she whispered lowly and uncertain. I watched her closely... Maybe she wasn't doing as good as I thought. Looks could be deceiving.

I looked down and put my hands in my lap breathing hard. I couldn't explain how strong this fucking urge was to hold her in my arms right now. I knew if I looked back up to her I would get out of this booth and pull her to me. Feel her body against mine, kiss her reassuring her everything would be fine and I won't leave her side.

I want to fucking scream it out to her right now!

The more the warm caring feelings with her pushed in, the more the anger at what we were right now rose. I couldn't do this. All I could remember was our time together... High school. Nothing but happiness, smiles, just love but, that wasn't the case now...