changkyuns pov
Day — Monday
I feel so stupid, I feel so dumb, I feel idiotic.
I just wanna explode, erupt.
It doesn't take long to fall in love, so why is it a bitch to say Goodbye?
I may be selfish for wanting him to like me back, but isn't that for everyone?
He's just a crush, but it's more than that.
He thought just wants me for pleasure, for sex..
And I now realize that after days, and it feels like shit.
And then the thing with Wonho and Seulgi-
School-
I just wanna forget everything, and disappear.
I'm tired.
I'm so fucking tired..
Of everything.
I wanna go away forever.
My parents don't understand me, and no matter how much love they give it can't fix what I feel inside. No matter how many close friends I have, it won't make me feel better.
And it makes me angry.
Can't someone understand?
I feel so alone.
I'm in a black box, cramped, and slowly suffocating.
I don't want to feel like this, feel so tired, feel so hated, feel so sad, feel so hurt, feel so-
Bad.
I wanna feel good.
Why can't I?
On the bright side tomorrow's New Years, and my one wish..
Is for my life to be better.
For me to be better.
"Kyun, you've been in bed for the past few days honey..Come on and eat with us" My mom comes up from the stairs, looking at me with a frown. I don't want to get out..
"Also Kyun, the guest bedroom was a little messy..Did someone sleep over?" Oh...
"No, no one did"
"Okay..Honey, you hungry? You barely have eaten these past 2 days.." I nod in disagreement, I'm not hungry..Not really.
"Ok, call me if you are then.." She smiles, and goes back down the dark stairs. I roll on my back, and stare into the shadows with a wisp of tears.
He hasn't texted me since I left, and I thought maybe he would-
Or what if he was just busy..
But no.
I hate him, I hate him, I hate him.
I fucking hate him.
I want to forget him.
For everything he did to me.
But I just can't..I can't.
Because he really accepts me, for me.
He really does.
And I love that..
Because no one really has, except for a Wonho.
Day — Tuesday
"Changkyun! Hurry down here it's almost 12!" I hear my mom yell for me, New Years. Sighing, I slowly crawl from deep beneath my covers, and walk through my dark room to the stairs.
"Coming" Groaning, I hear the tv blasting with the infamous words of the Times Square count down. Rushing to the living room, I see my mom and dad staring intently at the screen, and smile brightly as I walk in.
"1..2..3! Happy New Year!" The tv whoops, and everyone cheers in joy. My parents clap, and both embrace each other tightly, and end it with a kiss.
"Happy New Years honey!"
Happy New Years.
"You okay honey?"
"I'm tired.." They look at each other in worry, and sadly smile together.
"Go rest okay, it's late" My dad says, and ruffles my hair. Can they tell I'm off?
Like I used to be?
"Okay"
I'm tired.
This chapter really Implies the book name, Jooheon is a bad guy :((