70k! you guys are amazing i love u ALL enjoy this chapter <3
I need to fix my sleeping schedule ASAP ohmygod - anyway enjoy! (what time are you reading this? I'm writing it at 3:43am oops)
"What was it you wanted to speak to me about?" Harry asked as he plopped onto my bed. We had just arrived back from our weekend - well, extended weekend, getaway.
Our bags still remained unpacked by the door of my room, our coats and shoes flung to the side.
I was nervously stood at the foot of my bed, my phone gripped tightly in my hand. I had no idea how I was going to tell Harry about the news. I also had no idea how he was going to react. His stare lingered, and his eyebrows furrowed as I continued to fidget around, my nerves getting the best of me.
"RecordX loved the song," I said quietly, so quietly he had to ask me to speak up.
"They did? That's amazing! I told you they'd love it!" He spoke, clapping his hands together in delight. However, once he caught sight of my face, his excitement ceased. "Why aren't you celebrating? This is great, right?"
"They offered me an initial four month contract...in Manchester." I said eventually, trying my hardest to not look at him now, because if I did, I was unsure of how I would react.
Silence. Radio silence. My gaze lingered on the floor, trying to distract myself from the unfolding situation. I couldn't put it off any longer, so I looked up.
Harry was absentmindedly looking straight past me, at the door behind me. He looked shut off, deep in thought.
"Harry, I-"
"Did you accept it? The deal? Have you accepted it?" He asked, still not meeting my eyes.
"Not yet."
"So you're going to?" He mumbled, finally looking at me. I nodded meekly. I felt miserable. Like I was directly causing him pain. Was I?
He looked at me expectantly. What was I even supposed to say? What did he want me to say?
"I leave next week," I spoke softly, coming over to perch on my side of the bed. He looked at me, thinking.
"Ask me."
"What? What are you on about?" I asked in exasperation, not having a clue what he was going on about.
"Ask me," he repeated, staring me down.
"Ask you what?"
"To go with you." He spoke, as if it was the easiest thing ever. I stared at him incredulously.
"Harry - I'm not going to ask you to come with me. You can't come with me!"
His face fell. "I can't or you don't want me there?"
I silently criticised my choice of words, kicking myself. "No! I mean - you've just bought yourself a new place, your life is in London, and this is only four months - admittedly it's kind of a long time but I'll be back and - I'm rambling, sorry," I corrected myself, guilty looking across at Harry, who looked borderline heartbroken. "Hey - if it's too hard I can just turn them down," I said quietly, regretting the words as soon as I had said them. I loved him, of course I loved him but this was my career we were talking about. Singing was my passion, it was what I wanted to do.
"No." He said pointedly, reaching out. for my hand.
Relief swept through me, and I tried to let out a subtle breath.
"I'm being selfish, and I'm sorry. You should go, and you're right, it's only temporary and it'll be fine. Everything will be fine."
"Are you sure?" I asked, squeezing his hand.
"Of course. We've been through worse, we can get through this, right? And we have FaceTime, and phone calls, and I can always come up and visit and everything," he said, although I had a sneaking suspicion he was fighting off tears.
"Come here," I whispered, pulling him into my chest, resting my chin on his hair. "We will be okay, alright? I love you."
And so I held him. Whispering comforting things in his ear, and before I knew it, he was fast asleep on my lap. I pulled one arm away from him and grabbed my phone. I quickly typed out an email, replying to RecordX and accepting the deal.
The door to my room opened slightly, and Eloise poked her head in. She took a quick look at the position me and Harry were in, and mouthed a quick sorry.
"El!" I whispered, and beckoned her to come in. "It's alright, he's asleep!" I continued, shifting ever so slightly to relieve the back ache that was slowly forming. "What's up?"
"Oh, nothing in particular. Freya and Josh are out today, Vik did an all night stream so he's fast asleep, and JJ and Simon are filming so it's very lonely in the house," she laughed, sitting on my chair just across from my bed. "What's up with you guys? How was the little getaway?"
"Really relaxing thank you! I'm just letting him sleep his stress off, I think it's been building up recently. RecordX offered me an actual deal a couple of days ago.." I spoke, deciding that I would tell my friends about it.
I could tell that she had to downplay her excitement to stop herself from waking Harry up. Although the was the Sidemen's manager, she was one of my closest friends and helped me with the admin side of things too.
"Sophie that's incredible! Where do you have to go for it?" She enquired, leaning forward and high fiving me gently.
My smile faltered - just a little bit, as I spoke. "Manchester. Four months." I said, my heart a little heavy as I looked down at Harry who was still fast asleep.
"Is Harry going with you or -"
"No, no. He wanted me to ask him, but I couldn't. I mean, I can't ask him to come with me, his whole life is here. Plus, this will give me the chance to focus on my career with no distractions. Is that bad of me to say? Am I being selfish?" I pondered, momentarily forgetting I was speaking out loud.
We stayed in a comfortable silence for a few seconds before Eloise spoke. "You're not being selfish. Your own career is important, all of us understand that. If any of us were given a chance to do what you're doing, we would take it. You and Harry are a very strong couple, you will both get through this. You're going to absolutely smash it in Manchester."
I gave her a genuine smile as I took in her words. They made sense, and also made me feel a lot better. "Thank you! Anyway, how are you and Vik doing? I feel like I haven't asked that since New Years Eve!"
"We're doing alright. At the moment we've been kind of distant - he's always streaming until five in the morning, so he sleeps all day. I get it, of course I get it, I do the same thing sometimes, I don't know sometimes I just feel lonely." She admitted, and I could tell that this was working her up.
"My advice would be to talk to him. Vik is an understanding guy, and you guys are amazing together. But if you ever need to feel less lonely, I'm always here, and even when I'm in Manchester, give me a quick facetime, I'll make time for you, El," I smiled, waving a quick goodbye as she left the room happier than when she had entered.
Perfect timing really, because Harry was stirring, and opened his eyes. I was now able to move my leg, before realising I had pins and needles.
"Hey, you," I whispered, kissing his forehead gently.
"Did I fall asleep on you again?" He mumbled into my chest. I nodded, smiling against his skin as he propped himself up.
"You know - you're a very comfortable pillow," He concluded.
"I'll take it," I spoke, grinning. "I love you, Harry Lewis. With every single bone in my body."
I could see his cheeks pink up from where I was, he looked adorable.
"I love you too."
-
"Manchester? But that's ages away!" Simon protested, after I had told him about my a RecordX deal.
"It's not that far - maybe four or five hours by car?" I guessed, then realised that it was in fact quite a long way away.
"And you're sure that you definitely want to go and do it?"
"More sure than I've been of nearly anything." I defended, standing my ground. This way my career, my life, and I was going to do whatever it took to ensure I would have access to opportunities.
"You better call me at least once a week," he smiled, bringing me in for a hug. "Look at you being all successful! I'm so happy for you, honestly. Sorry if I came across as doubtful, I just want you to be sure of what you're doing," he explained, pulling away and patting my shoulder. "But I know now that whatever you will go on to do, you'll be successful. Of course you will."
I looked down on the floor, not wanting him to see that I was actually close to tears. He would never let me hear the end of it. "Thanks, Simon." I said quietly.
But I couldn't let him be too smug for long. "So, how's Talia?" I asked, a mischievous grin playing on my mouth.
He looked at me, as little shocked. "Me and Talia - just friends - why are you even asking?!" He spluttered, scratching his chin as his face turned a deep shade of red.
"Yeah, friends," I raised an eyebrow, letting him know that I knew what was really going on. "You're cute together. That's all I'm going to say."
I winked at him before walking out of his room. I had a week before I left for Manchester, and I was going to spend it with Harry. It would be weird, not seeing him for four months, but I knew we would get through it.
Okay sooooo who's excited for Sophie's record deal yayyyyyy!
Hope you enjoyed the chapter!