💮third💮
Jealousy is always such a painful thing to feel. It eats away at your heart, squeezing you inside until you writhe in pain, watching the person you love with another. And it gets worse when you can't do anything. Not because you don't want to, but because you don't have the right to. Hikaru knew that, she always felt that for a whole week she spent together with her master and Koharu.
The two would always be laughing and smiling as they talk to each other, all the while Hikaru spent all of her time hurting, her heart clenching tightly as she watched. "...goshujin, are we picking up Koharu-san again..?" The ravenette asked as soon as classes ended, a hint of dismay flashing inside her eyes.
Kei, on the other hand, never noticed and instead had his lips curled up in a warm smile saying, "Of course, we always do busu" he replied, excitement to see the third year filling him up.
Retreating to her seat, Hikaru sighed as she pulled out her master's lunch box from her bag. "..I have something to do goshujin, you can go ahead and eat with Koharu-san today..."she stated and placed both of the bento she prepared on his table.
The blonde had his brows furrowed in confusion. Crossing his arms, he asked "Recording at the music room again?" Questioned the boy, earning a small nod from his servant. "We can eat later, want me to come with you, busu?" Kei offered standing up, grabbing the bento on his desk.
It has been a while since he offered to help her or come along with her, and asking so put a smile on the girl's face however it immediately fell down to a deadpan expression. "...there's no need goshujin..." she whispered and walked towards the back door. Before she exited completely, Hikaru took one last look on her master looking at her with a confused expression. "...I don't want to get in your way with Koharu-san..."
Kei watched her small figure disappear, her ebony hair swaying side by side as she walked away. He didn't understand why she said that, but the blonde quickly noticed how her smile fell down to such a plain and empty expression. What is her problem? he quickly shrugged the thought off and went on his way to meet with his beloved senpai.
The ravenette walked towards the music room, fists clenched and with a heavy heart. Hikaru wished that Kei didn't understand her mindless words earlier. It slipped out all because of her uncontrollable feelings, and now she's regretting it. As she walked inside the unused music room, she let her hand wander on the piano keys, single notes playing one by one until she finally settled down. Hikaru stared at the window where they first met, remembering the way his short blonde hair looked messy from the wind, and the smirk he had on his face.
Never imagined that she herself would feel this way for such a mean and indifferent person who did nothing but insult her every single day. However, even though he is like that, it doesn't change the fact that he's the only one there whenever she needed someone to depend on. He made her feel like she mattered and she didn't need to hold back her tears and feelings. She was sure that he was just a friend whom she considered important, but her own heart betrayed her. It started to beat for the boy and she knew she wouldn't be able to stop.
[Play the song while you read. All credits belong to the rightful of the multimedia.]
Hikaru's fingers started striding along the piano, making such a wonderful melody as she played different keys to a song fitted for her hopeless situation. "If I admit it, even if I get to admit it...I will never give up on you...Right now I'm still in love with you..." she sang as she closed her eyes shut, feeling the song.
How could she give up this early in the game? It was the first time she liked someone, and even if she's not competent at all, losing him is not a gamble for Hikaru.
"Even if I were to accept, just accept this situation....I still wouldn't be able to give up on you....Right now, I'm still in love with you..."
Even if his heart belonged to Koharu, even if the place left for her to take is just a mere friend, maybe that would be enough to cease this longing to be near him. All she could do is accept the fact that he likes another, and stay from sidelines pushing him from the back.
When did my life turn into such a melo drama? The ravenette asked, playing the instrumental of the song as it reached the end part of it. "Your feelings for her are growing day by day..."she softly followed, remembering how he smiled brightly whenever she's around.
Until her mind wandered, if ever she decided to confess, "..If I were to tell you, like, just tell you about how I feel...then there might develop a distance between us..."
If telling him how she felt will just lead him further away then Hikaru wouldn't mind keeping it all to herself. She couldn't bear being apart from him, she was too attached and too scared to shatter this illusion of friendship they have for something as trivial as her feelings.
"You'll always be in my heart though...." with a few more pressed keys, the song ended in a beautiful fading melody. The warm afternoon breeze blew her hair right off her face as she turned to the window, smiling bitterly.
Hikaru wanted to send the recording to her sister, knowing she would pester her again if she didn't and so she did. Afterwards, she decided go back to her room, Hikaru got up from her seat and walked back her head hung low. "Hikaru!"
Her head turned, facing the greenhaired boy smiling and waving as he took large steps towards her. Hikaru forced a small smile, "...konnichiwa, Yama-chan.." she greets.
Yamaguchi quickly noticed that something was wrong, and put a hand on the female's shoulder. "Is everything okay, Hikaru?" the boy questioned, worried for his friend.
Hikaru simply nodded, "...why wouldn't it be Yama-chan..."
The boy nodded in acknowledgement, knowing that she's uncomfortable. Yamaguchi figured that Hikaru probably needed a stress reliever and thought of a way to console her. "I'll buy you a drink so wipe off that depressed look on your face Hikka!" He grinned, taking her small hand in his, intertwining his fingers with hers.
Hikaru's eyes widened at his small yet considerate gesture, the corners of her lips curled up in a small smile, "...you're giving me a nickname too, Yama-chan..?" She asked playfully, as she followed.
"What? You don't like it?" Yamaguchi pouted, as he faced Hikaru briefly.
Rolling her eyes, the girl chuckled,"...I never said I didn't, Yama-chan" she replied, giving him a thumbs up.
The ravenette walked side by side with Yamaguchi until they reached the vending machine near the gym. True to his words, Yamaguchi bought her two cartons of chocolate milk. The pair sat om the bench from around the corner to finish up their drinks.
"Now that I noticed, why aren't you with Tsukki?" Yamaguchi asked, taking a sip from his orange juice box.
Hikaru pursed her lips, not wanting to answer the question. But eventually, she did, "...at the rooftop....with Koharu-san..."
Yamaguchi heard her heaved a sigh, as she finished one carton of her drink. He looked at her and smiled, noticing just now that she had her hair tied up to a ponytail, exposing her features clearly. "Hikka, that hairstyle suits you most."he commented.
Not expecting the ravenette to cry, as crystal beads fell down from her eyes. "A-A-Ah, I'm sorry did I say something to make you c-cry?" Yamaguchi stammered, panicked inside because he didn't know what to do. He offered his handkerchief as it's the most logical thing to do in this kind of situation.
Hikaru felt the warm liquid trickling down to her neck, realizing that she had been tearing up subconsciously. She smiled half heartedly and took the hanky from Yamaguchi, wiping her wet cheeks. "...I didn't mean to tear up Yama-chan haha, I just remembered that goshujin used to tell that to me..." she apologized.
"He says that to you everyday right?" asked the boy, worried.
The ravenette shook her head, locking her gaze on her palms above her thighs. "Maybe he does." She whispered. "With Koharu-san"
Yamaguchi noticed the sadness in her tone. Putting the puzzle together in his mind. Tsukki is with Koharu at the rooftop, eating lunch. Leaving Hikaru alone, feeling dejected and sad. There's one thing going on and he's sure of it.
The ravenette got up from her seat, dusting her skirt, "...I have to go now, Yama-chan... Thanks for the drink. I'll be sure to return the favor.." Hikaru turned her back and started walking away when Yamaguchi called out.
"Hikaru wait!"
Hikaru hummed awaiting what he has to say. The boy pursed his lips for a moment, contemplating whether to ask and confirm or not.
"Don't tell me you like Tsukki?"
The ravenette's lips parted in shock before answering, "...That's right... But it's hopeless though. It's obvious how he likes Koharu-san so much..." she answered, scratching the back of her head awkwardly.
Yamaguchi felt bad for asking, especially when Hikaru put a finger on her lips, forcing a small smile and said, "Keep it a secret okay?"
Somewhere deep inside him, Yamaguchi couldn't understand why there is an urge to tuck the girl in to his warm embrace, and why it pained him greatly seeing her saddened face.
e n d o f c h a p t e r
💮notes💮
Sorry for the long streak of sad chapters uwuuuuuu
It'll get better fufufufu
Stay tuned.
Enjoy.
💮N&N / yzzabella💮