It burned, and she gasped.
She didn't understand, she couldn't fathom- how? She had never been burnt before. Even when she was part of the Elíte, so often exposed to fire, she had never felt anything.
During training, being burned had simply felt unusually prickly; not an unpleasant sensation all together, but not necessarily enjoyable, either. She had shrugged it off, pretending to flinch, or cry out as the flame touched her, but was always gone by the time anyone thought to check on her wound.
She reasoned that there were different types of burns, that maybe different people felt it differently. There was the burn of anger, burning its way through your veins, demanding to be felt.
There was passion, seeming to burn your insides at a thought, and there was the ache, the pain of love. That burned, but more of a numbing sort of burn, licking lazily at your bones.
That type of burn does not need to rush. It does not need the intensity or fervour of the others you have certainly felt before to consume you from the inside out.
Even these feelings, in all their toil and anger had never matched the burning she now felt in the pit of her belly.
It seemed to scorch her, ripping and peeling out what was left of her savagely. She screamed at the agony, clawing at her person, trying to purge whatever was causing her pain from her body.
She was made vaguely aware of someone running through the door-
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But she refused let her vision fall completely to darkness. She slammed a fist against the concrete floor, and let the sharp ache bring her back.
It was a tactic she often used, as although it was not advisable (or healthy in any way) it usually served its purpose, and she had the climbing hold on the world she needed.
This time however, she regretted it as soon as the pain faded and was in turn replaced by the burning. She curled in on herself, barely feeling the hand on her shoulder or the sudden pain in her arm as tears leaked from the sides of her eyes and her vision faded. This time, however, she was powerless to stop it.
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"Maeve, be reasonable! This can't possibly continue as it is now!" She pleaded with the cold visage that met her eyes.
"And why, pray tell, can it not? I am the Queen, Akaeria. I may do as I please." Hissed the Queen, in a vicious tone of voice that Akaeria had seen her use before, but had never had directed at her.
Akaeria sighed. "Maeve, you know you're not doing this for the right reasons. If she were to find out why you wanted her here-" Akaeria was cut off by Maeve's hand over her mouth. Her eyes widened in anger.
She argued with Maeve for a little while longer before she left. She slammed the door, storming out into the passageway.
She needed to go somewhere she knew would calm her temper, or sparks would fly. Literally.
Afternoon found her sitting in the highest branches of the tallest oak in the royal gardens, crunching an apple and cursing to herself.
She did have... feelings for Maeve, yes, but those had since been overridden by the concern for this new consort.
Consorts to this crown in particular never lasted long. They typically ended when Maeve grew bored, or when her lover broke or burned out. So, usually about a couple decades, at most.
This one, however, had been different. Maeve had the tendency to act on her curiosity, or out of politics, usually never straying out of the two categories.
This girl was new. This girl was for power, raw and inexplicable. She could see the hunger in the Queen's eyes as she looked at her, and it made her uneasy.
And.. this girl. Akaeria did not understand it, did not understand how Maeve could love this weak little thing until that day. Sunlight glinting on her long brown hair, the girl was laughing as she spread a blanket on the grass of the royal gardens, petting the tatty mongrel that yipped happily at her heels.
Akaeria had watched in fascination from the oak above, and strangely, had found delight in this curious girl's pleasure. What had she to laugh about? She could not fight, could not defend her people with honour. But maybe that was not the way she was made to help.
Akaeria may have been inclined to fight her way out of most problems, but she was not completely rotten. This girl was innocent.
She still knew what was right (well, morally gray, at a stretch) and what was just plain evil, and this, she sensed with no small amount of concern, was pushing the borders a little more than she was comfortable with allowing.
Maeve's curiosity was a terrible thing. She could paint a butterfly with the most careful brushstrokes in order to study its wings, but she could just as easily tear the feather-thin canopy apart, bit by bit, to see how much the creature could take before it could no longer fly.
And then until it could no longer cling to its little life. She did so with a fascinated look that never failed to make Akaeria sick.
She did not understand the fundamental basics of right and wrong. It was as if she had no morality, no humanity at all, or maybe she did, and simply did not care. Akaeria was a soldier, not a Medic of the mind.
What made Maeve terrifying was not that she was cruel. It was that she was not. She did not have the capacity to be cruel, and she did not have the capacity to be humane. She simply was.
Akaeria shuddered, and almost fell out of the tree when Maeve stepped out from under it, a warm smile on her face.
"Akaeria, my love, why don't you come down, and we can discuss this rationally?" She did not bother raising her voice. The tree bent to her will, carrying her sound for her. "Or I could make you come down. It's your choice, really."
Akaeria closed her eyes momentarily before scaling quickly down the tree. She opened her mouth, but Maeve laid a graceful finger on her lips, and she immediately felt her voice die.
She tried to speak, but all that came out was a ragged gasp. Maeve smiled. "You don't need to think any longer. You feel sleepy, don't you?" Her voice was honey-sweet.
Akaeria felt her traitorous eyes start to droop, but she fought them open.
Maeve smiled wider, a delighted grin. "Oh, you will be interesting. I'll take care of you. You can sleep, I promise."
And then her vision darkened, and when she opened her eyes again, colours seemed soft and muted, as if her body was not hers to control anymore. And, as it turned out, it was not.
She watched events fold out where they would from the black-and-white depths of her mind. She felt a vague tugging sensation in her (was it hers?) gut every time something happened that she would prevent.
Sometimes she caught little snippets of her life. Her hands moving to lock an iron gate. Her fiery-red hair brushing against her back. Her- but it stopped, after a while, and all she had were the shadows in her mind, and her life playing out in front of her, like a badly-focused movie.
With every sensation she felt, there was a moment where she questioned what she was doing, a prisoner in her own mind. That she needed to escape, needed to find a way to get out.
But there was always a voice, calming and lovely, telling her that there was no reason to worry, that things were taken care of. So she retreated to the depths of her mind, content to watch.
If she concentrated, there was a faint hum of voices hovering in the shadows, but she was always to drowsy to listen.
Fragments of words, thoughts just like hers weaved in and out of her waking dream. She did not stir until she heard one in particular. 'LET ME OUT.'
It was louder than usual, and she recognized the voice of Ziary, one of the newest senior guards at the palace.
She jolted, and remembered what had happened. She looked around frantically, until the haze dragged her back down, fighting and cussing all the time.
And that was the last time she felt anything.
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She sat up, gasping and coughing. A dagger sat by her ankle, but she kicked it away in disgust. Somehow, she knew that this object had caused... whatever that was.
Even worse was Caspienne's slender figure, her hand resting on Akaeria's shoulder, sleeping with her head resting against the bars.
Akaeria went to punch her, rake he nails down the girl's face, claw her, anything really, but she stopped. Why did she hate Caspienne again?
Because she's a traitorous witch, came a voice inside her head. She started. When had she had a voice inside her head?
She got her breathing under control- the first thing they had learnt during their Elité training was to never let your panic take over, and so she inhaled deeply and considered her situation.
She knew who this girl was- and she knew which ship she was on. She understood what was happening, but she could not fathom why she hated everyone.
The feelings were certainly there- residual feelings of hate, burning through her like a lit match- but she did not know why.
What had they done to her? The voice was gone now, that was for sure. She was going to have to dredge up whatever answers she could, on her own. And it wasn't as if they would trust her. No, she had given them plenty reason not to.
She winced as she remembered throwing the cup at Thalia's jaw, and hesitated as she recalled the utter hostility behind it.
She decided that the only thing to do would be to wake her captor and see what she could learn.
She touched the girl on the shoulder lightly, and waited for her to awaken.
The girl did so quickly, her eyes shooting open immediately. "Akaeria?"
Akaeria bit her lip. "Yes- at least, I think so."
Caspienne nodded. "I'm surprised you even recognize me."
Akaeria smiled humorlessly. "So am I. It's all sort of... hazy, after a certain point. I understand what happened, I just don't know how to come to terms with it. If that makes sense. It's been," She stopped suddenly. "I don't know how long it's been, I just know that I shouted at her after she started with that new consort, and then everything just fades away."
Caspienne's features darkened. "What do you remember of the dungeons?"
"Just... opening a gate, and the key turning in the lock."
Caspienne exhaled shakily. "So... it wasn't you. It was never you."
Akaeria's brow furrowed. "What was never me?"
Caspienne looked away. "You don't need to know."
Akaeria nodded. "I think I'd like to keep it that way."
Caspienne laughed wryly. "I don't blame you. Some of the things she did with your body under her command were..." She broke off.
"If it's too horrible to recount, I don't want it. Those memories aren't mine, they aren't me." She said quietly.
Caspienne started, although she didn't let it show on her face. Akaeria, sorrowful? Akaeria, repentant? She didn't know what to do with this new person, this broken person sitting in front of her.
"Is it.. would it be okay if I just treated you like I didn't know you?" Caspienne asked hesitantly.
Akaeria smiled, although it was a tired one. "I would honour the chance to know you again."
Caspienne bit her lip. "Okay. But I can't promise anything from the others. You weren't exactly friendly."
Akaeria closed her eyes briefly. "I just remember throwing the coffee cup at her. Nothing else."
"Well tha-"
"I remember the hatred I felt." Akaeria's voice was hollow. "I remember thinking that I wanted to run my sword through her. It... comforted me, in an odd sort of way. Just knowing that I had a purpose, knowing that I needed to kill her, kill everyone on this ship, and then report to base."
Caspienne didn't know what to say. Here was this soldier, this enemy of hers, laying her head bare in front of her. She was having trouble reconciling the two Akaerias that she knew.
She laid her hand on Akaeria's arm lightly. "I understand."
Akaeria looked at her gratefully, and then resolve took over her features and she held out her hand. "I'm Akaeria. It's nice to meet you."
Caspienne smiled. "And I'm Caspienne. The pleasure is all mine." She allowed a little of her usual charm to seep through.
Akaeria looked at the dagger by her foot in confusion, and Caspienne smiled grimly. They had a lot to talk about.
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Akaeria sat on the couch, bundled in blankets, with some hot chocolate in her hands. She looked tired, like she had been through enough.
Everybody else was crowded into the kitchen.
"Well what are we going to do, toss her out of the ship?" Asked Nyx sarcastically. "It's not exactly like we need her or anything."
"It's not up to us to decide. Friend or foe, we need her. And I'm sure she could be a friend, in time," said Linh hopefully.
Thalia snorted. "Yeah, as if. You do realize we're talking about the woman who's tried to kill us all, multiple times, right? Somehow, I don't think she's particularly inclined to reason with anyone."
"But she's literally sitting on our couch, trying to lick up the little marshmallows in her hot chocolate!" Linh said angrily. "How you're planning to kill her, I have no idea."
Everyone stared through a crack in the door. True to Linh's word, the battle hardened soldier was trying to lick up little marshmallows from her steaming hot drink, not seeming to care about the scalding heat emanating from the clay mug.
Seeing that she couldn't just will them into her belly, she had molded her tongue into a cone and was now trying to suck up the marshmallows. When that didn't work, she just.. plunged her lower face into the mug and retrieved the sweets. She came up chocolate-soaked, but victorious.
The wielders looked on incredulously.
"Linh, come on, that's not what we're saying, we're just contemplating leaving her in the cell." Thalia tried to reason, breaking the almost comical silence.
"I saw into her head, I should be making the decision." Said Caspienne softly. Her voice left nothing to debate. "That was not Akaeria. That was Maeve, she's been controlling Akaeria for years, and by the looks of it, every other high-echelon guard, general, or captain in the palace."
Everyone stared, and she shrugged. "I used one of my Stars to put her out while she bonded with her weapon. She was out for three days anyway, and her weapon is fire. I'm not completely heartless."
Everyone bonded with their weapons differently. The light of her sword had taken over Thalia, Caspienne had gone into a coma for weeks, and Akaeria had literally been cooked from the inside out.
The price to pay for power was not a small one, however. Nyx's bonding had been even more problematic, given the fact that there had been no death for the weapon to utilise at the time, only love. So it took that, and Nyx paid the price for that with the life of Thalia.
"If I had left her to suffer, she may not even have made it. The weapon would have seen Maeve in her mind and rejected her."
"So... vote for whether she stays in the dungeons?"
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"Hey," Linh said softly.
Akaeria almost spilled her drink. At least she couldn't scald herself. "Hello," Akaeria said stoically, skirting around the fact that she had been acting like an unruly child just moments before.
"Well, I'm Linh. They're all voting on whether or not to leave you in the dungeons, but I don't care. I'll teleport you out if they put you down there, I promise."
Akaeria was taken aback by this girl's adamant defense of someone she'd just met- but strangely warmed. She smiled as widely as she could. That's probably what people did to show affection.
She kept the smile for two minutes precisely until she held out her hand. Linh took it and shook it kindly.
"We're friends now." Akaeria stated.
Linh smiled. "Okay, but I need to get to know you better before we can be best friends."
Akaeria frowned for a moment, then whipped out her new dagger. "Blood oath?" She asked.
Linh cringed. "No no, I don't think that's really necessary, but I promise I won't desert you."
Akaeria nodded, and paused for a moment. "So, Linh. What do you do for fun?"
Linh thought for a second. "Well, I enjoy art, and writing. Although, I haven't done either in a long while. I've barely had time to breathe. You?" She asked.
"I've had my mind ravaged by a power-hungry maniac for an uncertain amount of time," Akaeria deadpanned.
Linh was on the verge of tears. How could anyone have something that horrible done to them and not feel a thing? She comforted the girl in the only way she knew how, and threw herself into Akaeria's arms, squeezing the other girl tightly.
Akaeria gasped as the wind was knocked out of her. Who was this girl and how was she able to incapacitate Akaeria, of all soldiers?
Akaeria patted her awkwardly on the back, unsure of what was happening. "What... are you doing?"
Linh looked up at the General, appalled. "Um. Giving you a hug?"
Akaeria frowned in confusion. "A hug?"
Linh spluttered. "A hug! When people show other people they care, they give them a hug."
Akaeria nodded thoughtfully, and asked tentatively, "Then.. can I give you one?"
Linh beamed. "Absolutely!"
Akaeria pulled the other girl into a soft hug, as if she was afraid to break her. Linh snuggled into Akaeria's shoulder.
"Okay, so that's a hug. I need to go speak to everyone else, but I'll be back in two seconds."
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Linh burst into the kitchen, slamming the door shut behind her. The others started at the uncharacteristic behavior of the usually serene girl, staring in surprise.
"I don't understand how you could even think of leaving her to rot! All her actions, they weren't hers, they were Maeve's! It's entirely unethical to condemn one for another's actions. Do you know what just happened? Hm? I tried to be her friend. Her hobbies are, and I quote, by a 'having her mind ravaged by a power-hungry maniac for an uncertain amount of time'! She didn't even know what a hug was, for stars' sake!" Linh paused to take a breath and opened her mouth to speak again, but Caspienne laid a finger on her lips lightly.
"Linh, we know. We decided to give her a chance. But it's touching how much you care for those who would hurt you." Caspienne looked at her fondly, and drew back.
Linh deflated. "Oh."
Thalia grinned at her. "Don't worry about it," she said lightly. "We have more pressing matters to attend to, like, say.. getting a certain fire-inclined general to trust us?"
Linh looked at her gratefully, and everyone else nodded their assent.
"Okay, everyone; time to make a new friend," said Nyx hopefully.
And with that, they ventured through the doors to the living space.