Sam’s POV
They told me I could stay the night. I didn’t pass up that chance. They even brought a cot in for me, but I doubt I’ll be sleeping anytime soon.
I’m so relieved… I almost lost him… I’m so fucking stupid. He only wanted to get my attention with the whole Lucas thing, but I’m so fucking stubborn, I wanted to teach him a lesson. I should have known better. Why would I do that to him…? And then I bring a date to the Halloween party, knowing Alexander was there? I’m an asshole…
I look over at the sleeping Alexander. Too bad life isn’t like the fairy tales… I kissed his lips so many times, but he didn’t wake up. I grab his hand gently and let out a frustrated sigh.
“Why wasn’t I able to stop him…? I’m so sorry I was so stupid…” I hang my head.
“You’re…not…” I hear his tiny voice as I feel his grip on my hand. I perk my head up to see him staring at me.
“Baby! You’re finally awake! Are you okay? Do you hurt? I could ask them to give you something for the pain,” I grip his hand tighter. He chuckles softly and shakes his head.
“A-are you sure?”
“Y-yeah… I’m just really tired,” he takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out. He tries to sit up, but I stop him.
“D-don’t move, baby. Nurse! Hey, nurse!” I yell. The nurse comes walking in.
“Ah, you’re awake. How do you feel?” she asks Alexander.
“I hurt everywhere… but happy,” he smiles.
“On a scale, one to ten, ten being super painful, what would you say the pain is?”
“Eightish…but moving makes it a tenish…” he pouts.
“Okay, I’ll get you something for the pain,” she smiles and walks out of the room.
“Happy?” I ask him.
“Mhm, I have my Sammie, “he blushes a little.
“Alexander, I’m so sorry… I won’t ever leave you again, I promise,” I tell him as I lean in and kiss his lips. He kisses me back and then smiles.
“My Sammie, you’re so cute,” he giggles quietly.
“I am yours. I’ve always been yours, Alexander. I was so fucking stupid to leave you. I’m so sorry I did that…” I hang my head in shame.
“It’s okay,” he forces a smile at me.
“No, it’s not. I should have never stopped paying attention to you. I should have told people who you were. I should have been a better boyfriend… and a better lover…”
“My Sammie, it really is okay. I forgive you,” he tightens his grip on my hand.
“Why do you forgive so easily? You’re too kind of a person,” I mumble, “you shouldn’t forgive me so easily. I destroyed us.”
“We aren’t destroyed. We’re just stuck in a ditch.”
“Have been for months… due to my pathetic driving.”
“You confused me…”
I just laugh and place a hand on his cheek. He’s so adorable. How could anyone want to hurt him? And why is it that he’s always being hurt? First Taylor and now Carl… I grit my teeth.
“My Sammie? Are you thinking about those guys?”
“How could you tell?”
“You have a mean look on your face like you’re about to snap a gorilla in half.”
“A gorilla?” I blink, gaping at him.
“Yeah, you know, those giant monkey thingies that go rar!” he tries to make the rar sound in a deep voice, but fails. I chuckle and shake my head.
“I know what a gorilla is.”
“Not uh… why would you ask then?”
“I didn’t ask what a gorilla is,” I glance at him with an eyebrow raised.
“Oh…” Alexander looks at me, confused.
The nurse comes back into the room with a needle. She injects it into Alexander’s IV.
“What is that?” I ask her.
“A small dose of Morphine. It’ll help the pain,” she smiles at us. Once she’s done, she walks back out of the room. Alexander immediately starts feeling the effects.
“I-I feel so good right now,” he grins, looking a little silly. I chuckle softly.
“Close your eyes, you need rest,” I say to him.
“Naw… yeah?”
“Yes,” I chuckle as I grab his blanket and gently tuck him in. I kiss his forehead, then his nose, then his lips.
“Whoaaaa, that’s awesome! Do it again!” he exclaims. I kiss his lips again. He closes his eyes and falls asleep. I sit back in my chair, gazing at his adorable face.
Life has been so hard on him, yet he doesn’t stop smiling. How is he not bitter after everything that’s happened to him? I take out my cell phone and go into my music. I click on the song “I Swear This Time I Mean It” by Mayday Parade and it starts to play. I softly sing along with the lyrics. My voice isn’t all that great, so I’m glad he’s sleeping, heh… I smile at his sleeping face as I continue to sing to him. He wouldn’t care if my voice sucks, he’d love it. I’m never going to leave him ever again. Leaving him was the worst mistake I ever made.
Shane’s POV
“Wake up, sleepy head,” I hear Joshua coo while rubbing my cheek. I groan and swat his hand away. I don’t want to wake up. I’m not ready to wake up. My entire body aches.
“I’m not a fly, don’t swat at me,” Joshua pokes my nose.
“Shoo fly, don’t bother me,” I groggily sing to him.
“Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.”
“That’s the sound of a bee.”
“Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… STING!” He abruptly jabs two of his fingers into my side, causing me to spaz and flail, screaming.
“ALRIGHT! I’m awake now…” I drag myself off of him and out of bed, wobbling. My body feels like jello.
“Good morning, sunshine,” he flashes a smile.
“Why are you so chipper?” I stare at him, kind of glaring.
“Because I just had sex… and it felt so good!” Joshua sings.
“A woman didn’t let you put your penis inside of her,” I retort.
“Close enough,” he smirks at me.
“Are you implying that I’m girly?” I raise an eyebrow.
“No, I’m implying you’re a pussy.”
I don’t say anything as I walk out of the room, slamming the door closed behind me. I lean against the wall next to the bedroom door and sigh as I slide down and sit. So many things are running through my mind right now. I’m not exactly sure why I’m acting this way, nor do I like it, but how do you stop overflowing emotions after holding them back for so long? Don’t get me wrong, last night was amazing. I’m so happy Joshua and I are…well we slept together… but is that all? Are we back together or was it just a one night stand?
The door opens and Joshua pokes his head out and looks at me. He walks out and plops down next to me.
He clears his throat, “…I’m sorry if that upset you. I was just playing arou-”
“Joshua,” I interrupt him, “What’s gonna happen now? W-with us, I mean…”
He pauses a moment, then sighs and shrugs, “I guess that really depends on you.”
“How?”
He turns and looks at me with a serious expression and cups a hand on my cheek, “Shane, I need to say something.”
“W-what?” I ask, blushing a little. His hand is so warm.
“I have to apologize to you. I was the world’s biggest dick to you these last few months. I don’t expect you to forgive me right away. If you want me back, you have me. If you don’t, then just tell me what you want from me.”
……What? Is he serious? Of course he is, I can see it in his eyes.
“If you need time, then I won’t push it…”
“Th-that would probably help…” I mutter. I want to take him back so badly. I just want to embrace him and never let go. I could too, so… what’s holding me back…?
We finally arrive at the hospital. We all walk into the cafeteria where Sam told us to meet him. He’s sitting at one of the tables, munching on a sandwich.
“Hey,” I say as we walk up to him. Sam looks like crap; he must’ve not slept at all last night. There’s bags and dark circles under his eyes and his face is pale.
“This sandwich is just awful,” he grumbles as he tosses it on his tray, “I had to add a lot of mayo just to taste something.”
“Want me to take you to McDonalds or something?” Alex offers.
“Nah, I want to get back to Alexander.” He gets up and we walk through the hospital, making our way to Alexander’s room.
“Hey, guys,” Alexander says, cheerfully. He looks like shit. I can’t help myself; I go up to him and embrace him tightly. I almost lost my best friend…
“Shaney?” His voice sounds concerned.
“Sorry…” I don’t let him go. He wraps his arms around me, weakly. I let go and glance at him. He just smiles at me. I force a smile back at him.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Shaney,” he tries to reassure me, but I give him a look, so he tells me, “I get to see a psychiatrist today at one to help me get through my trauma. Apparently, she’s top of the line. So, don’t worry about me.”
I sigh and nod my head. If only I could have protected him better…
“Stop blaming yourself,” Joshua nudges me, “there’s nothing anyone could have done.”
“Why can you see right through me,” I grumble, sulking. I can’t even feel bad.
“I can too, Shaney, and I agree with Joshua. Stop it, right meow!”
“Did…did you just say meow?” I blink, glancing over at him. I heard that right… right? I swear I’m not just hearing things.
“No,” he smiles, not being able to lie.
“How are you feeling?” I ask him.
“I hurt everywhere, but I’m happy to see you guys,” he smiles at me and then looks at Sammie, “now will you take a nap? Please?”
“No way, Alexander,” Sam replies.
“Shaney… he won’t sleep and he needs to.”
I glance over at Sam. You could tell he’s fighting sleep. I look at Joshua, pleadingly. Joshua nods and walks over to Sam and does some kind of martial arts-looking move that messes with Sam and knocks him out. Joshua catches him before he falls to the floor and he and Alex lay Sam on the cot. Alexander and I gape at Joshua with wide eyes, our mouths hanging open.
“What?” he asks, confused, “He’s fine, relax.”
“What did you do to him?” I ask him, blinking in amazement.
“I just hit his pressure points lightly to knock him out,” he shrugs.
“Hey…” Alexander clears his throat, “c-can I have a moment to talk to Shane? Alone?”
No one bothers to question him and Sam, Alex, and Steven leave the room. I sit on the edge of Alexander’s bed and glance at him, confused.
“I love Sammie, Shane,” He sighs.
“I know, silly, so-”
He interrupts me, “but I have strong feelings for you.”
……………. Shit.
“I-I’m confused is all. It’s just, you’ve always been there for me, even when Sammie wasn’t…”
Suddenly confessing to me now?! His timing couldn’t be worse…
“H-he broke my heart, but you were able to get me smiling and laughing again. You’re always there for me when I needed you… You’re my best friend, but something in me wants more than just friendship…”
“A-Alexan-” I’m interrupted again when he gets flustered and says, “L-let me finish.”
He takes a deep breath and clears his throat and then continues, “You’re a lovable person. I-I know you probably don’t feel the same way about me, but I just… I just can’t see you as only a friend now.” His eyes begin tearing up.
“My heart beats so fast when you’re around. I-I dunno why, but I’ve developed really strong feelings for you…and then you took me on a date. You actually asked me out on a date. I-it made me feel so happy inside. Other than what happened…”
I just stare at him. I don’t know what to say. I mean, sure I’ve felt some feelings for him, but nothing that would make me want to take him away from Sam… then again, Sam kind of took himself away from Alexander… but I thought they were back together now.
“Joshua seems like his old self now. Did you two make up?” he doesn’t look at me. He stares intently at his lap.
“H-he apologized and told me if I want him back then he’s mine…”
“That’s great!” He looks up at me and smiles, “So you two are back together now!”
“No,” I reply quickly.
“W-what?”
I sigh, not really wanting to get into this right after his confession, but continue anyway, “I haven’t… taken him back. I need time to think things through. I don’t know if I forgive him or not…”
“You should. Love is a battlefield, Shane-y. It’s a bumpy rollercoaster; it has its ups and downs.”
I don’t want a pep talk from him.
“Shane-y, you love him with all your heart and even though it’s hard to tell, he loves with you all of his. For as long as Sammie and I have known Joshua, he’s never felt this way about anyone. There was never a time he would stay with someone and keep going back to them out of his own free will, just for love. He’s just… not used to it and it probably scares him.”
“So, I should forgive the fact that he slept with that slut on my birthday?” I mutter aloud, more to myself than to him. I stare at the floor.
“You can’t forgive him for it?”
“Are you serious?! How can I? Because it was the only time he slept with her? Is that supposed to make me feel better?!”
“Shane-y… he loves you.”
“If this is his way of showing it, fuck that. I’m not going to just forgive him and forget what he did to me.”
“Were you so loyal to him?”
What. The. Fuck.
“That’s not the same, Alexander.”
“No? Didn’t you sleep with me on his birthday? How is that not the same? Because he was unconscious? You’re acting like a baby. Suck it up, man up, and do the right thing, ya hypocrite.”
The fuck just come out of his mouth? I don’t say anything, I just gape at him. I’ve never heard him talk like this before. He just called me a baby and a hypocrite and told me to suck it up! What the fuck?! How dare he!
“Who do you think you are?!”
“No, Shane, who do you think you are? You’re acting like it’s the end of the fucking world! He didn’t cheat on you, he broke up with you. He didn’t break your loyalty like you did his. Maybe you broke his heart. Maybe you hurt him more than he’s hurt you.”
…………..
“W-what?”
“Get off your high horse and stop acting superior. You find it hard to forgive him and yet, he’s already forgiven you. You’re the one who cheated on him.”
“He was in a coma!”
“Stop trying to make it sound like it’s okay that you did that. You have no reason to be angry at him. You have no reason to not forgive him. Stop acting stuck up and get a reality check. You’re not the victim, he is. Yet, he found it in him to get passed the pain you caused him and he forgave you even before you confessed to him.”
“H-how do you know all this?”
“It’s written all over his face. Plus, I read his blog,” he lays back in the bed.
“Blog? Joshua has a blog?”
“Yep, online. I read it this morning since there was nothing better to do.”
Joshua has a blog? And he’s been pouring out his heart? I hurt him… I am the asshole. I never considered his feelings…
“Can we come back in now?” Alex opens the door.
“Yeah, you can. I’m done talking to Shane,” Alexander smiles at them.
I bite my bottom lip in deep thought, staring at the floor. Alexander’s right. I’ve been selfish and inconsiderate. I’ve only been thinking about my feelings and not Joshua’s. I just figured he didn’t care since he said he didn’t. I should have known it would hurt him… What the hell kind of person am I? To only think about myself… I glance up at Joshua, who is staring intently at me.
“I-I… gotta go,” I stammer out and rush out of the room. I can’t be here right now. I need to think about this.
“Shane, wait,” Joshua runs after me. Damnit, Joshua.
“D-don’t follow me! I’m a selfish prick!” I cry out. I run out of the hospital and into the parking lot. Joshua is hot on my tail and finally catches up to me. He tackles me into the grass and grips my arms tightly, not letting go.
“I said don’t follow me!”
“You’re not a selfish prick!”
“Shut up, yes I am! Why didn’t you tell me the truth?!”
This takes him back. He gapes at me, but then his expression turns into a confused look.
“Why didn’t you tell me how much it hurt you? That I slept with Alexander…”
“It doesn’t matter anymore. I forgave you.”
“Why?! I cheated on you, Joshua! I’m scum!”
“You’re not scum! A person can only handle so much stress and sadness before they turn to someone else. I understand that! Yes, it did hurt me inside, but it doesn’t anymore. I love you, Shane. I have to forgive you. My heart won’t let me hold it against you. I don’t want to hold it against you.”
Tears pour down my face as I stare at him, pleadingly, “I-I’m so sorry, Joshua… I was so lonely without you.”
He lets my arms go and sits up, pulling me against him, embracing me tightly. I cry hard into his shoulder, trembling and wrap my arms around his waist, gripping his shirt tightly. We stay like this for what seemed like an hour.
After I calm down, he pulls away from me and cups my face in his hands. I gaze into his eyes, longingly. He smiles and then pulls me into a deep kiss. I hold him tightly as I kiss him back. That’s it. He wins. I can’t be angry with him anymore. I give up. I will always love Joshua. There’s no way I can be without him.
He breaks the kiss and smiles at me. I smile back and stand up. I hold my hand out and he takes it. We walk back into the hospital, holding hands. He is mine as I am his. Nothing will change that. Our souls are tied together.
The end.
HEY! WHAT ABOUT LIL’ OL’ ALEXANDER?! HUH?! It’s not the end!
Sam’s POV
Alexander is finally released from the hospital. Everything seems like it’s back to the way it was before, only things are better. Alexander told me of his feelings for Shane, but told me that he is not going to pursue them and wants to forget they exist. I don’t question it; how could I?
“Can we have a party?!” he asks me, excitedly. We’re in my car, driving home from the hospital.
“A party? You just got out of the hospital. Maybe next week. Let’s just go home and relax tonight,” I reply. I can’t let him in on my little secret.
“Awe, fine,” he pouts.
“Alexander, can I ask you a serious question?”
“Yeah, of course, Sammie,” he looks at me, raising his eyebrows, “what is it?”
“Is there… anyway… you would possibly… want to be my boyfriend again…?”
This takes him by surprise. He looks away and stares out the window. I don’t actually expect him to say yes.
“Sammie?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you, but I need some time…”
“I understand,” is all I say to him.
The rest of the ride is silent. We pull in the driveway and walk up to the front door. I let him open it and he walks in to see everyone there with a banner that says ‘welcome back, Alexander.’
Alexander claps and smiles, seeing a cake and a bunch of food lied out on the table. He turns to me and gives me that ‘oh no you didn’t’ face.
“What?” I glance back, grinning.
“You told me we were just gonna relax tonight, you meanie face!” he gently punches my arm. I just laugh.
Shane’s POV
My friends. My family. My love. They’re all here with me; alive. I can’t ask for much more than that. Knowing that, makes me the happiest person in the world. I glance at each of their faces and the only one who notices is Joshua, who smiles at me. I smile back and go sit with him.
You may not be able to control what happens in your life or control who you fall for, but that’s just how life is. It throws as much as it can at you and all you can do is deal with it the best you can. Just be grateful for what and who you have, for they may not always be there.
I'm the luckiest person in the world.
End.