Chapter 9: Woeful Flowers.
{Lennon}
"Shut up!" I yelled at those fluttering wings as I thump the window with my fist.
My mood has changed it has gone to unhappy but could manage, to unhappy and severely out of control.
The troublesome thing going through my mind right now was that there was someone watching me. I couldn't help but pin point the stalker was the one who shot my father. The stalker the 'protector' as he so calls says.
My stomach and my heart just drops, I feel sick. Whenever great mood swings and the hitting feeling of depression. My body reacts to it entirely, not only affecting my psychological mind, my body as well. It makes me physically sick, to the point where I want to kill myself.
But that's another story because I know whatever happens, happened for a reason. So basically my parents time was up, they had to go. I kept an optimistic mind, due to my mourning it made me stronger in an evil and twisted way. I felt better and stronger than ever since the passing of my parents.
I loved them, but they never loved me. It was undesirably fake, our relationship with each other. It was specifically like they were showing off to the world as in their colleagues, their bosses, their friends. That we looked like a desirable family, a family that cared, a family that did all these good old family activities together.
All this was fake, the only family picture we had taken was when I was 11. As sad as that sounds. My mother actually looked presentable and sober as well as my father. But to tell you the truth. It was all lies, we lay on the grass on comforting, wrapped in each others embrace and smiling at the photographer taking our family picture but once the photograph was taken. They left in a blink of an eye, left to do their own thing. Not caring about their 11 year old daughter, who was merely a child.
But maybe they deserved this? Maybe God made this happen. But not only did God make this happen,God made it have a huge effect on me as well. Lucky I was 16 already if I wasn't, I would be in a foster home, stuck with mindless children running around not having a care in the world, siting there painfully waiting for a new family. Lucky I was old enough to fend for myself.
My parents funeral's date is today, the day of mourning the day where I'll never see them again. I couldn't see their faces, the last time I saw their pale, lifeless faces was back in this house. The house where they grasp and tighten the rope of death itself. .
Their coffin steadying itself and lays gently in the ground as dirt and rubble make its way to cover up. Leaving nothing but flowers to lurch as a reminder of pure happiness to celebrate their life of living and breathing.
The flowers lay right above them, rooting their ways to their soul. As it grows within them, they were woeful flowers. We know now that their time here is gone. That everything they lived for, vanished alongside of them in an oblivion smell of death.
Adrian stood right beside me as I watch the pair of wooden sleek boxes make its way into the ground. He embraces me in a hug, a tear escapes from my eye. I stopped it from reaching full capacity. Stopping it from reaching where my lungs breathe heavily asking and pleading for air as I cry an ugly cry.
His eyes were so giving and soothing as he stares into my eyes, giving me a look showing that 'everything was going to be okay'.
Nothing was okay and nothing will ever be okay, that's just what people say when they have nothing to say. It's an overused line, and so assuring yet it was, it was a cold hard lie.
"Let me move in with you" Adrian stated as he brushed the loose strands behind my ear.
What move in with me? His parents would hate me even more, let alone the kids at school would think I'm bribing him as my house was so grand. I'm not going to let him.
"I know it's going to be hard the next couple of days, months and years. But let me look after you, let me keep you company. Let me Lennon?" He continued in a pleading tone, it was more like a statement than a question. He's making me believe he actually wants to move in with me so he can help me.
But what if this was all out of sympathy? I don't need anybody's sympathy. I can take care of myself, I had arms and legs and a brain. I'm not weak.
"Just go away, I don't need your sympathy" I said wearily as I pushed him off and made way to my car wiping the tears of regret.
As I started the ignition, Adrian was standing there, his gaze to me. Looking so apologetic, and making me feel sorry. I felt guilty, he was just trying to make me feel better and help me with the mourning but I brushed him off.
I wasn't going to apologize to him, I still felt like he was just doing this out of sympathy, I felt like he was just sorry for me. Feeling sorry wasn't going to make me feel better, it wasn't going to rewind time.
The night was so quiet, the floorboards creaked as if someone was walking downstairs. I stayed locked up in my bedroom in this darkest hour. I will stay up here till morning rises. I close my eyes, waiting for sleep to take me in, waiting or dreaming that this was only a dream. That when I wake up, it never happened.
The window creaks and the door starts shaking as I hide underneath my blanket. I hear footsteps reaching my bed and hear soft breathing coming out. I shouldn't be scared, it was just the wind, most likely it was my mind playing tricks with me. So as I gained the courage to take off the blanket only to encounter a face staring right at me. Only for me to let out a high pitched scream, and the body to fall to the floor.
"Who the hell are you?" I shouted harshly as I grab a book on my bedside table and throw it at the unfamiliar figure laying on the floor looking inconveniently hurt as the voice groans in pain.
"Lennon calm down!" The unfamiliar voice said in an uneasy tone probably from the pain as I threw the book to the figure laying on the floor.
"How do you know my name?" I Shouted once again, this time grabbing my lamp on my bedside table and hitting the figure with every weakness might I had in my body.
"Gosh Lennon, you're so violent! It's Adrian. Now can you stop hitting me". He pleaded as the moonlight laid on his hands showing him in surrender mode as he blocks me from hitting him.
"Oh sorry" I said as I realized that it was him I was hitting but then, I threw the lamp at his leg. Letting a loud groan as he yelps from pain.
"Now, would you like to tell me why you're here? In my house, in my bedroom, scaring every ounce of me". I asked harshly as I make my way to my bed and sit cross legged.
"To see how you're doing, because I know you wouldn't have let me in".
It was true I wouldn't have let him in, I would've let him stay out in the rain. I was that cold and heartless.
"You made your point, but I swear if your parents find out, not only will I be hated even more but my dignity will be lost as well" I said as I stood up from my bed and cup his face in my hands.
"Well I'm not leaving, you're my best friend. You're stuck with me forever. My parents will either accept the fact that I like you, or they can lose me" Adrian said smoothly as he placed his hands over my hands.
He said he liked me. Is my mind just playing tricks on me. My hearing was 100% great but was I just hearing things? It can't be. He most likely said it in a best friend way. I might as well ask him and assure what he said was just misinterpreted.
"A-Adrian, did I hear you right? You said y-you like me?" As the words came out in a stuttering manor, I had the hope what he said was true and that he doesnt deny it.
"Well, uh uhm-I- I -uh-do" he trembled taking his hands off my hands and facing the other direction. Making my hands slip from his soft face.
"Really?" I asked more as a rhetorical question. I just couldn't believe it. He was more of the best friend material. I like him as well, but even now I wasn't going to tell him that. Because all this could just be a lie, a sympathy act, an act made out of feeling sorry.
"Yes, from the moment I met you" he spoke again.
Leaving me speechless, I stood there. Emotionless. No one has ever said that, my stomach was doing that whole flip and tumble act. This was butterflies alright. My palms getting sweaty but I quickly wiped them on my pajama pants.
"You going to say something?" He scratched his head all nervously.
"Uh-I-um I just can't believe it" I let out a sigh and took a seat on the edge of my bed.
"Well believe it, this is the truth. It's not the whole sympathy act I know you're thinking I'm doing. This is real." He said so courageously as he walked to where I was and sat beside me.
He really knew me well, all this best friend shenanigan was real. That was the only real part of my life. That his existence, his presence, his words were real and that was what scared me. That all of this could be a lie that none of this was real.
But I gave in to him, I couldn't speak but embrace him in my arms. Letting the space close up and our bodies to collide with each other. The feeling was so warm, it felt safe in his arms, being with him just felt too good to be true.
He ran his fingers through to the back of my hair, his emerald eyes stare deeply into mine as the embrace breaks apart and his midnight black hair falling to his eyes. As he shakes it off and letting his index finger slowly move it to the side.
Everything right now was so hard to believe. You know how people say, you lose one thing but yet you gain another. Well that's what I felt like right now.
"Now where do I sleep, the floor, the couch or your bed" he said playfully with a hint of lust in his voice.
I laughed and it resulted with him being knocked on the floor as he was definitely not sleeping on my bed since he just opened up his feelings about me.
"Well the floor, or... The couch, you choose" I said wittingly as I chuckle from my actions.
"Your bed looks like the place of comfort" he pouted while retrieving his balance as I knocked him over.
"I know" I patted my bed, watching him make his way back in my bed only to tuck himself into my blanket.
"You know when I patted my bed, that wasn't a welcoming gesture for you to climb into my bed" I muttered as I began smirking.
"Oh well, I'm quite comfortable. So quit that yapping and sleep on the other side. I'm not one of those sadistic, hormonal boys lurching to get their hands on a petite figure like you" his hand landing on the hem of my shirt as he starts to tickle me uncontrollably while I laugh loudly.
"Stop--it--Adrian--"
"I can't--br-eathe" as I let out another fit of laughter.
"The magic words?" He tutted at me, smirking that beautiful smile.
"P--please you... dork" I said as I gasp for air as he still continues to tickle me.
"Not what I was looking for, but I can handle that" he laughed and finally halted his mischievous action.
"Now quiet, let the beast sleep, and the beauty herself should rest too" he said showing me a cocky smile, laying his dead on my pillow but on his side of the bed, and making sure he kept to his side. I keep a pillow in between us. Separating his desire and my own away from each other so I don't end up cuddling up to him as much as I wanted to.
{Author's Note}
Haha I'm really sorry this chapter was a tad depressing, but it's Lennon's parents funeral okay. Give me a break. And not to mention how corny Adrian and Lennon's encounter at night when he sneaked into her bedroom through the window.
But seriously I'm a sucker for cute little corny events happening. I love it. And yes the whole concept of this story is revolved around Lennon's insecurity, she has trust issues. And she doesn't let people in too easily. So if you think the stories to emotional and she's depressed. Well good, because she's supposed to be.
Tell me what you think?