First Time for Everything
[the one where liam is there for all of his baby daughter's firsts — set between interlude three and part four]
zero
The first time Liam holds his daughter in his arms, everything feels right. He's terrified, indefinitely, because this tiny human is his, is part of him and she's just so fragile that he's afraid to even breathe too hard for fear of hurting her. Yet everything seems to fall into place the exact moment that he settles her against his chest, cradling her head in the crook of his elbow, shoulders hunched as he looks down at her through teary brown eyes.
She's perfect. Barely a few minutes into existence and yet he already knows that he would die for her in an instant. He'll, he'd kill for her if it came to it — and that terrifies him too. But he knows that's how it's meant to be.
She's a piece of him and a piece of the world and holding her in his arms just makes everything else cease to exist. It makes sense. Nothing matters outside of the people he loves and this inexplicably small person in his arms — he loves her more than he's sure he's ever loved anything or anyone.
He smiles, a few tears dribbling down his cheeks on their own accord, lifting his free arm (because she's so damn small that he can support her entire being with just one) and running the gentlest fingertip over the soft slopes of her already chubby cheeks, over the little jut of her chin, eyes skimming over the dark lashes and fine brown hair already layered over her scalp.
A wet laugh escapes him when those eyelashes move in relation to her eyelids, two dark eyes looking up and focusing on him.
"Hey Gracie," he breathes, sniffling and glancing up to the bed where Emily is leaning against the pillows, somehow a million times more radiant and beautiful than she's ever been after seven hours of labour, watching them both with tired eyes. He turns back to the baby, the life that they've created that he can hold with one arm.
The fear stays heavy in his chest, but it goes unrivalled by the love he feels alongside it.
one
When Gracie says her first word, it's unexpected to say the least. When the baby isn't screaming and crying and refusing to sleep, she's silent. Almost eerily so — Liam has once asked Emily not to go to class because the baby staring at him and making no noise kind of creeped him out. Emily has laughed and he hadn't had the heart to tell her that he was only half joking.
So she's a quiet baby most of the time. She never babbles, rarely giggles, and mostly cries. And Liam worries, because that's what he's always done best; the number of calls and messages sent to his parents asking them whether they think he should take her to a doctor because surely she shouldn't be so quiet are countless, and of course, everyone does what they've always done and they tell him not to worry and to just calm down.
He does neither of those things. He worries and he is the opposite of calm.
Which is why, when he and Emily are watching the TV whilst their infant daughter crawls around on the play mat in front of them, slapping her tiny hands against her stuffies and throwing those building blocks that she never actually uses to build anything, he really isn't expecting a sound to leave her mouth.
But it does. She crawls over to the foot of the couch, looks up at him with wide brown eyes and just stares for a few moments.
Liam glances down at her and smiles, leaning forwards to rest his elbows on his knees so he's towering over her slightly. "Hey baby. Are you missing the attention?" He says teasingly, reaching one hand down to tickle a finger against her stomach over the onesie that she's wearing.
She lets out a giggle and bounces on her knees a little before she opens her mouth and shrieks, "dada!"
He freezes. Emily sits upright beside him with a sharp intake of breath. Even Gracie stops bouncing and goes back to staring silently with those wide brown eyes of hers.
"Did — did she just —" Liam splutters over the words, heart soaring in his chest.
"I think she did."
Emily lets out a laugh beside him and he can't help but join in with it, leaning down to scoop their daughter up, hooking his hands beneath her tiny arms and lifting her with ease into his lap.
"Say it again," he says, holding her up on wobbly legs which are yet to take their first solo steps.
She giggles and bats out a drool covered hand to grapple onto his chin. He bounces her slightly on his lap, love and a million other warm emotions rushing to the surface.
"Go on, baby, say 'dada'," he repeats, though he doesn't really mind whether she repeats it or not because saying it once is enough to turn his entire body into mush.
Gracie gargles and smacks his face a few times in a way that makes him laugh before she opens her mouth again. "Dada! Dada, dada, dada!" She babbles, and this is it, Liam thinks, he's going to die of absolute overwhelm and cuteness overload right here on the couch with freaking Peppa-Pig playing on the TV in front of them.
Once Gracie starts talking, she doesn't seem to stop.
He wouldn't have it any other way.
two
Gracie takes her first steps on her first birthday, a two-in-one special if you will. She's come close several times, standing with the support of the coffee table or the couch or somebodies hands holding onto hers — but every time she's tried to venture away from the stabilisers, she's crumpled and given up.
They're at his Dad and Papa's house when it happens, all sitting around in the kitchen after dinner — adults are the table (at he still feels weird referring to himself as one of the adults, even now), Gracie out of her high chair playing on the floor with Harry and Niall. Liam watches his two younger brothers sitting in the linoleum with their legs stretched out, backs resting against the cupboards, holding out pots and pans and wooden spoons for the toddler to clang together loudly whilst she screeches along.
He watches with a smile, turning to face his parents as Dad rests a hand on his arm and gives it a squeeze. "How you feeling?" He asks softly.
Liam frowns in confusion at the question, giving a small shrug. "Fine. Why?"
Papa laughs. "The first birthday I spent with you, you were turning four. I still cried like a baby the night before because I didn't want you to grow up," he says, and Liam feels himself soften at the words, smiling at the men who raised him and trying to swallow down the lump in his throat.
"I mean...she's one and that's huge and everything but it's not like — she's not growing up yet. She can't even walk —"
"Um, Li," Niall calls out, sounding shocked.
Liam turns his head quickly with panic thrumming through him for second before his eyes widen and he sees Gracie standing on two wobbly legs, letting go of the cupboard and turning to face him.
"Oh my God," he breathes quietly, feeling his eyes grow blurry with tears in an instant before he leans forward on his chair and holds his arms out to his daughter. "C'mon sunshine, take a step," he encourages, and Gracie stares at him for a few seconds, legs threatening to give out beneath her before she shuffles one shaky foot forward and then moves her other one behind it, then repeats the action a few times until she's safely in his arms.
He lets out a breath, hearing everyone cheering but as if they're in another room a mile away, as he lifts her up and presses kisses all over her face — he suddenly knows what his parents meant.
He doesn't want Gracie to grow up. Just because she's taking her first steps, doesn't mean he's going to let her walk away any time soon.
three
She does have to walk away on her first day of pre-school two years later. Four years old, all kitted out in a navy polo and the purple jeans that she loves even though there are grass stains permanently embedded on both knees of the material, a backpack with a lunch box inside on her back making her look even smaller.
He watches with his heart in his throat as Emily crouches down in front of her in the playground where the other parents are dropping off their pre-schoolers for their first half-day just like they are with Gracie.
His girlfriend lifts her hands to gently tighten the two wavy piggy-tails on either side of their daughters head before tapping her on the end of her button nose with a smile. "Remember what we told you?" She asks.
Gracie nods quickly, chin coming all the way down to her chest with the force of the movement. "Uh-huh! Tell the growned-ups if anybody's bein' mean, eat all my lunch and — and even the carrots, and if anyone pushes me, I gotta punch 'em right back in the head when nobody's lookin'," she says, and Liam raises his hands in surrender when Emily turns to glare at him.
"What? I'm just saying, if somebody pushes our kid then she has every right to —"
Emily cuts him off. "No," she says sternly, then turns back to Gracie with a softer look. "No, honey. If somebody pushes you, then you tell a grown-up. No pushing back because then you'll get in trouble too," she explains.
Gracie pouts but nods. "'Kay, Mummy. Um — do I really gotta eat my carrots though? 'Cause they're yucky and I don't think they really make me see in the dark," she says with her brows furrowed together adorably.
Emily and Liam both laugh at that. "Just try your best, okay?" Em appeases, and Gracie nods, throwing her arms around her mother's neck before letting go and running to Liam, holding her arms up to him.
He grins and lifts her up in the air in a way that has her squealing before he settles her on his hip, letting her wrap her small arms tightly around his neck.
"Ugh, you're getting so grown up! Can't you stay at home with me forever?" He asks, and his tone is light but he isn't really joking at all. He wishes he could keep her with him at all times, that way she'd never get hurt. But he knows that's just his protectiveness talking and she needs this. Inevitably, she's going to grow up some day just like he did and just like his brothers currently are. He tries not to think about it as often as he should.
Gracie just giggles and shakes her head. "No, Daddy! I gotta get a job some day, I'm gonna go to the moon and eat cheese," she declares, causing a small laugh to burst from the man.
"Oh yeah? That sounds like a good job," he says with a fond smile. "And will you send me some moon cheese whilst you're there?" He asks.
She nods dramatically. "Uh, yes! Lots of cheese for you and for Mummy and for Grandads and for Uncle Ni and Uncle Haz, and for Nana and -"
"For everybody?" He asks, and she nods again. He smiles and presses a kiss to her cheek. "You're gonna be okay for half a day? Because if you're not then we can just go home right now and -"
"Daddy!" The four year old huffs, sounding exasperated. "You're being a worrier, that's what Mummy says," she tells him, and Emily lets out a laugh when Liam faux flares at her. "I'm gonna make lotsa friends and they can have moon cheese too."
He smiles at that, shaking his head. "You know what? I think you're right, you are gonna make lots of friends. And I'm gonna miss you sooo much," he tells her, pressing a bunch of kisses all over her face until she shrieks with laughter before she just squeezes her arms around his neck and presses her face close to his, mouth by his ear.
"M'gonna miss you too, Daddy. An' m'gonna beat up all the boys like you told me to," she whispers, and he laughs, nodding and ignoring the look that Emily is giving him.
"You do that, sunshine," he tells her, before letting out a sigh and setting her on the ground again. "Remember the rules?" He says.
She groans way too dramatically for a four year old and pouts up at him. "Can I just go now?"
He laughs at that, though the mmm on meant she starts to walk away, he lets out a breath and presses his lips together. Emily hooks her arm through his and gives it a squeeze, head coming down to rest on his shoulder. He leans so his cheek comes to rest atop of her head, trying his best to keep his tears at bay as he watches his baby walk away, greeting the teacher at the door with a beaming smile that he knows will win everyone over.
"She's gonna be okay," Emily says softly, and he lets out a breath and nods against the top of her head.
"I know. She's half you, after all," he adds with a smile.
Gracie disappears inside the building and Liam instantly starts counting down the hours until he can pick her up again.
But he knows it's unavoidable — his baby is going to grow up someday and there's nothing he can do but hold onto her while he still can.
He intends to make the most of every minute. After all, that's exactly what his Dad and Papa always did with him and his brothers.
AN:
heyy, thought we needed some more liam/grace/emily since they were really lacking in the last part, so here's that. i also don't know whether to write a short sort of proposal scene with liam and em or whether to leave them unmarried because you know, not every couple has to get married but then i think it would be cute at the same time. lemme know whether that's something you would want to see at some point!!
next chapter is a cute one with niall and luke, and then there's gonna be some more childhood fluff ;)