Ouch!
I felt a slight sting pierce through my skin that was instantly followed by a drop of bright crimson trickling down the cheek.
Fuck!
Throwing the razor I was clutching in my hand into the sink I sighed in frustration as the third cut of the morning marred my jaw.
I guess shaving my week old beard was still not going to happen. Letting the overgrown stubble hide the scarring wounds I simply walked away from the mirror. Not particularly excited to keep staring at my bloodshot eyes and sunken cheeks any longer. Giving a brief sideways glance at the freshly pressed suit hanging waiting for me to don it before I decided to ignore it once more. Perfectly content is spending another day in pajamas that have been my companion for nine days already I practically crawled into my bed once more, throwing the quilt right over my head, encasing my weak old stench within the covers to wallow in my misery once more. I guess Kite will have to deal with a missing CEO one more day. Not that it had stopped him from trying to call me over a hundred times a day.
What would I even say if I were to pick up?
That I haven't left my bed, have barely eaten, can't manage to sleep, hell have forgotten to basically live since my supposed break up with Arthit. Was it even a break up? Of course it wasn't. It was just a bloody contract. It didn't mean anything. He didn't mean anything. He was nothing more than a hooker I was fucking. A hooker that apparently could easily switch me out for another asshole without blinking an eye.
Then why the fuck was I stuck in my own head unable to move on like he had ripped out a part of my heart that left me empty and bereft.
I mean, I get it. I'm not that big an idiot. I like him. Ofcourse I did. Why else would I have ripped off that stupid blindfold in the first place. Why would I forgive him for lying to me repeatedly. Why would I offer to get into a bloody contract with him when I had never, ever repeated an escort before. Why the fuck would I go chasing and following him like a deranged madman all over the city when he had already tried to break it off once. But my frustratingly annoying 'like' still didn't warrant me giving up on normal human functions.
And as if my behavior wasn't certifiably manic already I had to go ahead and brand myself as a full blown masochist. Why else would I take one step out of that house that day and immediately call Terry to make sure he never left Arthit's tail from that day forth. And I guess that is where the root of my problem lies. Cause I will give you just one guess as to where was the very first place that idiot marched his cum laden ass off to.
And that is when my downward spiral began with literally no end in sight. Cause that seemed to be just the beginning.
While I spent every waking moment of my life, and turns out I can stay awake far, far too long, obsessing over the memory of his taste, the feel of his touch, hell even his musky strawberry scent, he seemed to be busy going about his life just perfect. Every update I got about him, every sneaky picture I saw of him he was doing...fine. No, more than fine. He seemed completely unaffected.
He went to his classes, he took up some part time job, he also walked the entire neighborhood dogs with a smile taped on his face like nothing at all had changed in his life. As if he hadn't spent even a millisecond thinking about me at all.
But honestly, none of it mattered. I wouldn't have cared about any of it if it wasn't the one thing that stabbed me deep in chest every single night. The two pictures that flashed on my phone a little past 11 everyday was all that was needed to have my fate of depression completely sealed. The mere fact that Arthit was visiting Zayn every single day had jealousy oozing out of my every pore. Desperate to snatch him away from that man and yet too stubborn to make a move.
And that is how time passed. Day after torturous day. Night after excruciating night. Keeping on staring at images that rendered me useless to do anything about this situation. Hating the hold he had over me so much that I was almost convinced it was him I was hating. Hating him for being just so nonchalant about us. Hating him from replacing me in a blink of an eye. Hating him for choosing someone else over me. Hating him for going to that Zayn guy for money instead of me. Hating him for rejecting me. And mostly, hating him for reducing me to a state that I don't know I will ever be able to get out from.
Despising myself every second while I stared at the blurry pictures Terry sent me nightly of Arthit leaving Zayn's residence. But after day upon day of the knife digging deeper into my chest, one day I had just about enough.
Bouncing up from my bed after what seemed like since forever I marched up to my closet, throwing on my black hoodie I found my feet walking out my house before my brain even found a way to function once again.
Perhaps standing in the shadows outside Zayn's house waiting for Arthit to emerge wasn't probably my brightest idea, but I was probably past the stage of caring anymore.
I think I may have fully lost any sense of propriety or self-preservation cause the moment I saw him step outside the house I found my feet automatically walking towards him. And before he was even fully aware of my presence I had grabbed his elbow and was dragging him towards the closest alleyway, away from any and all prying eyes.
A shocked gasp barely leaving his lips before I had his back slammed against the wall, not waiting for him to even figure out what the hell was I doing, not that I had any idea myself, as my body immediately followed towards his, smashing my mouth against him.
And somehow the instant his taste burst within me I felt the most conflicting emotions wreck through my body. I simultaneously felt peace spread across my chest, my racing heart slowing down after days of agitations. Arms gathering his body as close to my core as I possibly could just to make sure I was still able to hold him, touch him, kiss him just the way I wanted to do so desperately. But just as I felt content seeping through my bones at feeling his lips glide under mine without any form of resistance, I felt an odd frustration, an agitation of sort, taking over my mind.
And then it hit me.
The more I felt his supple lips relax under mine, respond to me like it was the most natural thing to do, his arms clutching at my hoodie as if I was his only ground to reality, the more his body reacted to mine, the more the scent laced within his own musky smell penetrated my nostrils.
A perfume that definitely didn't belong to Arthit.
And that tiny piece of realization was all it took to fuck me up even more than I already was. A low growl erupting from deep with my throat as my fingers slipped between the strands of his hair to roughly pull his head back. Staring down at his face covered with an intense blush. Wide eyes staring straight into mine. Red, plump, ravished lips quivering, inviting me to consume them again. Probably it was that exact moment that my strings to rationality finally completely snapped.
"Ko...Kon...g?"
My name dissolving against my lips as I crushed my mouth to his once again. Arms wrapped around him so tight that it felt like our bodies were about to merge. Grinding my hips against him so hard I feel at some point I may have crushed him. Grabbing his thighs tightly I hoisted him higher as he instantly wrapped his legs around my waist, allowing me to take any and all liberties with his mouth, his body. My palms clutching his buttocks like I couldn't get enough of those fleshy globes. His limbs wrapped around my body, clinging onto me with complete abandonment.
"What are you doing to me...?"
I whispered against his lips even as my teeth continued to rip into his soft skin. Chest pressed onto his, as I supported his weight, his back still rubbing against the wall.
"Come back, Arthit."
My lips finally letting go of his as they moved across his jaw. Scraping through the skin of his cheeks as I reached the lobe of his ear.
"Come back to me."
And just as my teeth closed over the skin of his nape I heard the moan that has haunted my dreams for far too long. His reactions to my mouth, my touches, getting even more intense. And I am pretty sure I would have taken him right there, in that dirty stinking alleyway, and he might have even let me if I had just kept my freaking mouth shut.
"I will pay you whatever you want. Just be mine again."
That was exactly the instant I felt his entire body stiffen against me. Fingers stilling against my hoodie. Lips suddenly stopping their response as my words sunk into him. Honestly, even I can admit my words didn't sound the pinnacle of temptation.
"St...stop..."
Barely even saying anything to my offer before he began pushing himself away from me. Fingers struggling to get away from me as if he wasn't just clinging on to me for dear life.
"Let. Me. Go."
Reluctantly, I let him slip down my body, forcing my lips to pry away from his as he pushed himself away.
Perhaps I hadn't handled our interaction in the best way, or perhaps seeing him after so long was messing with my brain, cause I wasn't even that surprised when he shoved me away while staring at me accusingly. His words spitting venom into my face as he kept stepping away from me.
"I don't want your money."
And once again, those seemed to be the last words he said to me as he pushed me aside while walking away from the alleyway.
"So, you want to just keep being his whore?"
Even as those words left my lips I knew it was a mistake. His whole body stopping momentarily , stiffening at my words before he broke out into a run. Sprinting away from me like he never wanted to see me again.
.