Zayn scrubs his hands down his face roughly as he sits on the edge of his and Louis' bed, eyes tired and mind whirring - he knows that sleep won't be an option for the remainder of the night, and judging by the expression on his husbands face as he moves to sit beside him, he feels the exact same.
The shorter man rests a hand atop of his own that rests in his knee over the material of his trousers, thumb grazing back and forth over his skin. He flips his hand around so that it's palm up, interlacing their fingers, neither of them looking up.
He blows out a soft breath. It's been a long day - perhaps one of the longest he's ever lived. First with Niall seemingly going missing; they'd searched the house and then the streets for the kid, called everyone they could think of from Liam and Emily to his school friends and even a few of the teachers that they knew of. When it had reached the evening hours with no reports of seeing the kid, they'd called the police, who had claimed that they wouldn't be able to set up a formal search for him for at least another few hours because of their guidelines.
Zayn had felt as if he was going out of his mind with worry within an hour of their youngest son being gone. Especially after he'd picked him up from school the previous week in such a state and he hadn't spoken about it since, keeping it all inside in a way that made him feel helpless. Both his and Louis' minds had automatically jumped to the worst kind of conclusion, which involved the kid never coming home for one reason or another.
Then there had been the call from Harry at almost midnight. Louis had put him on loud speaker at first and Zayn had instantly picked up on the pain in the eighteen year olds voice; at first there had been relief that Niall was with his brother, only for such relief to be short lived and replaced by further worry for both of their sons.
When Louis has returned home with both boys in the car, Zayn had already been waiting in the November cold by the front door for them; wasting no time in hurrying out. Niall had been fast asleep in the back, Harry looking close to falling to sleep himself in the passenger seat. The curly haired boy hadn't said much to him, just thrown his arms around him in a tight hug and mumbled against his shoulder that he just wants to sleep tonight.
Zayn hadn't seen the bruises, vicious and stark against his pale cheek and eye socket, and the sore split in his lip until they had broken the embrace, and the worry that instantly embedded itself in his gut only doubled when the kid had looked at him with teary eyes and told him he was too tired to talk tonight and that he simply wanted to go to bed.
Louis had trailed behind the boy, told Zayn to carry Niall up to bed, and he had. That worry had doubled yet again when he had seen the tear stains on their youngest's face, the furrow in his brow even in sleep. He'd settled the kid in his bed and slipped his shoes off of his feet, taking the time to tug the covers over him and tuck him in in a way he hadn't in so long.
Louis had left Harry's room quietly, face drawn with his own concern, and now here they are.
Eventually, he breaks the silence. "I called Liam," he murmurs.
Louis nods with a small grimace. Zayn knows he's wondering whether their eldest has been hiding something elsewhere, if there's more of the bad stuff that they've somehow missed. "He okay?"
"Yeah," he answers quietly, accompanied by a short nod. "Yeah, sounded tired but otherwise okay. Said he's going to come over the day after next to see his little brothers."
This time when his husband nods, he stays silent.
Zayn can't handle it. "Harry's asleep?" He asks, voice just above a whisper.
His husband gives a short nod. "Yeah. Out like a light before he'd even taken his shoes off. You know, he still looks like a baby when he sleeps? I don't - I don't understand how anyone could ever want to hurt him - or anyone at all - but Harry? He's the most loving, kind, selfless kid there is alongside his brothers. I just can't -" he breaks off with a shake of his head.
Zayn feels his stomach churn. He'd quickly pieced together that it had been Brad to do this, and he hates that they hadn't figured it out themselves much sooner. Brad always came across as a little cold, standoffish, never really a part of their family in the way Emily had always been. But Harry seemed so in love with him that he had never wanted to think badly of his boyfriend.
Now he knows for a fact that that love Harry has been giving was a result of manipulation. Their son has been being abused and he knows that the bruises they can see are only the surface. Inside, mentally, the verbal and emotional abuse? That would take far longer to heal than the physical wounds.
And God, if that doesn't make him want to hurt Brad in a way that he has never wanted to hurt anybody before.
He shakes his head, fingers squeezing his husbands hand gently. "Abusers don't care about that. It's - it's what draws them to their victims. You know that," he says quietly, heart clenching at the memories behind the words. Louis has never hidden from him the relationship he'd had before they met when he was just a kid. The manipulation he'd faced, the way that a person who had claimed to love him had stripped him of any confidence he'd had to begin with. It had taken years for him to overcome, and there have been times throughout their marriage and the growth of their family where remnants of his treatment have been clear. The constant self-blaming whenever something goes wrong, the uncertainty when he doesn't have control, the panic and the jumping to conclusions the moment Zayn doesn't return home one night (and Zayn isn't sure he'll ever forgive himself for his actions that one summer all that time ago).
The man lets out a shuddering breath at that, nodding. "Yeah," he whispers, chin dipping down towards his chest, eyes damp. "And it isn't something I ever wanted any of my kids to have to go through. I should've seen the signs."
Zayn shakes his head at that, reaching across with his other hand to cup his husband's jaw, turning his head gently and lifting his chin until their eyes meet, honey meshing into aqua. "Lou, no. You're not blaming yourself for this. I should've seen the signs too in that case, I'm his parent too," he states, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to his lips, pulling away but keeping their gazes together. "This is not your fault. It isn't mine either, and it certainly isn't Harry's. This, this is all down to that asshole Brad, and I swear if ever I lay eyes on that son of a bitch again, I'll tear him limb by limb," he says, anger slipping into the quiet words.
Louis gaze matches his emotion as he gives a single, firm nod. "You know I feel the same. God, I hate that monster. How could he lay a hand on our boy? Harry doesn't deserve that," he repeats, and Zayn sighs.
"Nobody ever does. You didn't either. I'm angry too, so angry - but we can't let that dictate what we do. You know Harry hates it when we get mad. And right now, it's all about doing what's best for him," he murmurs, because if they've failed him by not noticing sooner then blaming themselves won't fix it. Helping their son get through this will.
Lips are pressed to his again, the gentlest brush of warmth against his mouth before they pull away - and somehow, it means more than any touch ever does.
"We'll talk to him in the morning," he murmurs, glancing at the clock and wincing. It's gone one AM already. "Or in a few hours, I should say," he corrects.
Louis nods slightly in agreement. "Yeah. The police are supposed to be in touch. I'm hoping that'll be tomorrow too, get his statement written as soon as possible," he says. Then he pauses and slumps slightly. "I don't think he'll serve much time, if any. The justice system is a mess when it comes to things like this."
Zayn sighs. Louis knows that personally, and somehow, that system hasn't changed after all this time.
"As long as we focus on Haz for now, the rest will come in due time," he murmurs, the words mainly put out there to soothe himself as well as the other man.
Louis sniffs. "And Ni. I - I don't know what he said to Harry but I know it's bad. He was already asleep when I got there, so we'll have to talk to him tomorrow as well," he murmurs, and Zayn's heart clenches all over again.
With Harry, the threat had been external despite the internal scars it is not doubt going to leave behind. But with Niall, the issue has always been inside; the kid is a people pleaser, always trying to do and say what will make others happy and keeping everything else bottled up inside. It's a dangerous game to play, and that's something he knows himself just as Louis understands Harry's situation personally.
When Zayn had been a kid, he'd seemed like the opposite of Niall - he's been shy and withdrawn and he spent a lot of time stuck in his own head. Niall has always presented himself as loud and confident when in reality, Zayn knows that the kid spends just as much time in his mind as he did. He knows how it feels to be so lonely, to be trapped in a place that's so dark and terrifying when everything appears fine from the outside.
He knows that the boy has been slipping again recently, and whilst he doesn't seem prepared to talk to his parents about any of it, Zayn has been keeping a close eye on him. He's been in close contact with his school to ensure that Niall isn't falling back into old habits with drugs and whatnot, but that doesn't seem to be the case this time. There are no drugs involved, and what Harry has said over the phone last week has really resonated with him.
Niall has been trying for so long to search for ways to either numb himself or make himself feel - whether it's through getting high or drawing attention to himself, getting himself into trouble or shutting himself away with his music turned up loud through his headphones to block the rest of the world (and probably his own mind) out. Harry had mentioned depression, and he knows it's something they need to mention to Ash when they see him next, alongside booking the kid in for more frequent sessions with the man if they can.
They all want what's best for Niall, except for Niall apparently. It doesn't take much to see that the kid doesn't feel deserving of anything good. It's clear to see that the kid doesn't like himself very much at all, and that breaks his heart because, just like his brothers, he deserves the world.
He sighs and nods. "When we couldn't find him this morning, Lou," he breathes out long and hard, blinking away unwanted tears. "God, I thought he'd - I thought he'd done something awful. And that - that isn't okay. That isn't how it's meant to be. We should've gotten him more help weeks ago when we first noticed he was slipping again rather than just trying to keep a closer eye on him. That clearly hasn't been working," he murmurs.
Louis hand tightens around his and the pressure on his skin, the warmth that the touch elicits, grounds him and stops him from spiralling further.
"Hey," the man says, soft but stern. "If I'm not allowed to blame myself then neither are you. We - we've been doing this for a long time, this whole parenting business. We're never going to be perfect, but we always do everything we can for those boys. And that's exactly what we're going to do this time around," he tells him, in a complete reversal of the roles that had been in place just moments ago.
He nods, gulping. His eyelids feel heavier now than before, and he suddenly isn't quite so certain that sleep is off the cards for the night. "Maybe some sleep would do us some good," he murmurs, glancing across at his husband with tired eyes. "We won't be much help if we can't even hold our own heads up."
Louis huffs our a humourless laugh at that and nods too. "Yeah. You're probably right," he breathes, shifting on the bed so that he's facing him, kicking back the covers. He looks across at Zayn with his blue eyes wide. "Keep me warm tonight?" He asks softly.
That evokes a true smile from him, and he doesn't hesitate in nodding before he moves to the other side of the bed and climbs under the covers beside his husband just as the lamp is flicked off. Louis shifts until his back is pressed against Zayn's front, and Zayn folds himself around the smaller man, arms molded over the top of Louis' and clasping around his middle, their legs tangled up together.
He leans forward and presses a soft kiss to the space just behind his husband's ear. "I love you," he whispers.
Louis nuzzles back against his chest slightly. "I love you more."
The exchange leaves him feeling a little more confident. After everything they've already conquered, he has no alternative but to believe that this will be one more battle to add to their list of problems overcome.
.
Harry comes downstairs long before Niall does in the morning. Zayn smiles at the sight of the teen as he walks into the room wearing a pyjama top and a pair of flannel bottoms, rubbing at his eyes tiredly, curly hair a mess. It's a sight that he has missed, but any warmth he should be feeling is tainted by the bruising on his face.
The boy still manages a weak sort of smile as he sits opposite him at the breakfast table whilst Louis sets down a plate of toast in front of him.
"Thanks," he mumbles, voice still croaky with sleep as Louis sits down beside Zayn.
He can't help the nerves that settle in his stomach as their middle son picks at the toast for a moment before looking up at them, green eyes pained in a way that Zayn had never hoped to see.
"The, uh, the police emailed me. Asked for our address so they could come over later in the day to take a report, or statement or whatever," he says quietly, stumbling over the words with an anxiety that Zayn recognises well - he's heard it in Liam before, in Niall, in Louis. As if it's some sort of impossibly inherited trait of theirs. "So I should probably get dressed after breakfast, in case they come early."
He nods, glancing across at Louis. "Okay. Do you - do you want me and Dad there with you when they come?" He asks carefully, not wanting to pressure the boy into anything he doesn't want to do - because that's what he is. A boy. An eighteen year old kid with so much growing and learning and experiencing to do. It's up to them now, to make sure that all of this doesn't hold him back from continuing to do all of those things.
Harry looks up at him with an expression of relief which in turn, makes Zayn's own nerves deflate a little.
"Is that okay? I don't - I feel like I'll leave things out if I speak to them alone. Maybe not purposely, I'll just be nervous and -"
"Sweetheart, you don't have to explain yourself," Louis says softly, face nothing short of entirely understanding.
Harry stares at his father for a moment before he glances down at the plate in front of him and takes a deep breath. "Dad, last night - you - you said something and I don't know if it meant anything or not but you...you sounded like you knew. What - what it's like. All of...this," he stammers, peering up through the curls that brush against his eyebrows, seeming nervous to have brought it up.
Zayn feels his own nerves pick up again, knowing that Louis doesn't really like to speak about the things that happened so long ago, hence why the boys don't know a whole lot about how things were before they came about. Not to hide things from them. Just...sometimes it's difficult to talk about the things that hurt still even now.
But Louis doesn't even look apprehensive as he wraps his hands around the mug of coffee in front of him. "Before I met Liam's birth mother and then your Papa, and this was when I was really young and my knees didn't pop every time I moved," he begins, making Harry's lips twitch upwards slightly, "I had a girlfriend. Her name was Molly Stevenson and she was the first serious relationship I ever had, and I was just...well, I was head over tails for her. She was one of the cool kids and I wasn't, and she held that over me a lot even if I was oblivious to it at the time."
Zayn reaches a hand across beneath the countertop, resting it on his husbands knee and giving it a gentle squeeze, knowing the story well himself but after not having heard it in so long - over a decade at this point - it stings like a fresh wound all over again even for him. He knows he'll never fully understand what Louis went through, but he still hurts for him.
One of Louis' hands moves from his mug to rest on top of Zayn's gently.
Harry's toast has gone forgotten about as he watches his father with a childlike expression that only makes Zayn's heart ache more for what their son has been through.
"She'd always tell me how lucky I was that she even considered looking in my direction and I agreed with her. I was never popular, I knew she was out of my league. And she knew how to turn that against me. After a while, she started getting worse. Name-calling and things that seemed harmless but - but they took their toll. But by then, I was already pretty certain I was in love with her and so I let it slide because if I loved her then that had to mean she loved me back, right? Except I was fourteen and she was nearly sixteen, and on top of everything else, that gave her some sort of power complex over me. Whatever she told me to do, I would do it for her. And that's dangerous. That's not what love is, but you never see it until afterwards. Anyway, she - she pressured me into doing things I wasn't ready to do. And because I was a boy and she was a girl, it made it hard to speak out without being told that there was no chance I didn't want it," he says, lips pressing together as he releases a shuddering breath.
Harry's wince times perfectly with Zayn's, and the boys eyes are already tearing up.
"That's awful. I'm - I'm sorry, Dad," he says quietly, and Louis' head instantly snaps up, shaking his head.
"Sweetheart, I'm not telling you to make you feel bad. I just want you to know that you're not alone in this, okay?" The man lets out a sigh. "I know it was a long time ago and it never seems to get to me anymore, but I remember. Looking back, all the signs are so clear. The way she'd laugh and joke whenever I wanted a serious conversation, how she'd turn every opportunity that we were alone together into something sexual, the names she would call me every time I disagreed with her until eventually, I stopped disagreeing altogether just to protect myself. It's...it's so obvious when I look back but I know that when it's happening, it's easy to ignore it or just not notice it at all."
The room falls silent for a moment then, the only sound coming from Harry as he pushes his plate back slightly. He keeps his gaze planted on the countertop when he finally speaks, tone quiet.
"Brad was older and cooler too, when I first met him. And - and he did the same thing, laughing whenever I tried to talk to him about something serious," he admits in a small voice that makes Zayn's heart ache.
He wants nothing more than to move around the counter to bring the boy into his arms but he knows they have to let him speak first. So he stays where he is and waits, trying to pretend that he isn't filled with so much anger and pain and empathy that he's certain he could explode at any moment.
"At first I thought he was just like, one of those funny guys. Except he wasn't really that funny at all. Sometimes he would say things that were just cruel or ignorant, not - not necessarily about me, but about other things. And whenever I tried to correct him, he'd turn into into an argument and give me the silent treatment until I said sorry. And - and I really thought it was my fault and that it was right for me to apologise but...I don't think that it was," he says, glancing up with uncertainty gleaming in his teary eyes.
Louis beats Zayn to it in shaking his head. "It wasn't, baby. That's - that's not okay and it's not right," he says assertively, so Harry has no room to believe otherwise.
The kid stares at him for a moment before he gives a shaky nod, hands twisting together on the countertop.
His voice is barely a whisper when he speaks again, keeping his gaze planted down as if he's ashamed, or afraid to see their reactions in a way that makes Zayn more worried about what he's going to say.
"He called me names too, sometimes, and if I got offended he'd laugh like it was just a joke even if - even if it hurt me. But he wasn't - I mean, he didn't hurt me until we moved in together. Not like, physically or anything," he murmurs as if that makes it any better when it really doesn't. "Once he did it once, it just kept on happening. Like, we had a dumb fight over something that I said to a friend from one of my classes, and he was off with me all day. Then, when we got back to the dorm and the doors were closed, he made me feel like I'd committed a huge crime or something. And when I tried to defend myself, he hit me. Then after, he'd storm out or lock himself away somewhere for a few hours, and come back all - all sorry with flowers or food or something and - and I would forgive him. I'd even say sorry too," he says, brows tugging together as if he's angry at himself.
Zayn tries to ignore the anger towards Brad and focuses instead on reassuring his son. He reaches across the countertop and takes Harry's hand. Instantly, the boy patches onto it, even if he doesn't look up at him.
"He took my phone because he thought I was cheating on him - and I wasn't. I swear, I would never even look at somebody else like that while -"
"Harry, sweetheart, you don't need to defend yourself to us. We believe you, okay? We'll always believe you," he says softly.
Harry sniffles, and Zayn's breath catches in his throat when he sees the first tears fall. When he tries to squeeze the boys hand, though, the kid pulls it away and looks up with guilt in his eyes.
"I think - I think I was bad too though," he says quickly, the words tumbling out of him like he's been holding them in from the start.
He and Louis exchange worried glances before they look back to their son.
"What do you mean, honey? You're not the bad guy in all this -" Louis starts to say, but Harry cuts him off.
"No, Dad, you don't - I was thinking about it when I woke up earlier and - I think - I think I did something terrible too," he whispers, sounding more choked up by the second.
Zayn winces. "Baby, breathe," he says softly. "Whatever it is, you can tell us." He knows already that Harry isn't capable of being even slightly like Brad. Whatever he's about to admit isn't going to change that knowledge.
Harry lets out a heartbreaking hiccup. "I think - I think I took advantage of him," he stammers, and Zayn freezes because that's not what he'd been expecting, not at all. Before he can object, Harry goes on. "When we would fight, sometimes, he would say I didn't love him. And - and I know, I guess, that that was him manipulating me, but - but I would - I would sleep with him to - to show him that I loved him. Because I did, and - and I feel like part of me still does and I know that's messed up -" he breaks off into sobs again and Zayn feels as if his heart is hammering so hard that his ribs are splintering away.
He crosses around the counter at record speeds, pulling the boy into his chest as he cries, trying to comfort him as best as he can. Louis does the same on his other side, both of them just holding their son.
"Haz," Louis starts gently, after the sobs quieten down slightly. "Baby, that - that was him manipulating you, you said it yourself. He was taking advantage of you. Not the other way around, darling. That's - god, if I ever get my hands on that monster," he breathes, and Harry cries a little harder in a way that makes the man instantly apologetic. "I'm sorry sweetheart, now's not the time for that, I know. But - but you have to understand that you did nothing wrong."
Zayn nods in agreement with that statement, wishing that Harry had never had to go through something like this. Because somebody's taken advantage of his son, and that's something that could stick with him forever. Lord knows it's something that still sticks with Louis, the way he's tried to have sex in the past when things have been bad to make Zayn feel better despite not wanting to do it himself. Zayn, of course, has never let anything happen other than cuddles on those occasions.
Harry shakes his head between them. "But - but I'm the one who, who would suggest it -" he starts, and Zayn shakes his head right back.
"No, Haz. He manipulated you," he says, tone soft but stern. "Did you want to sleep with him?" He asks.
It breaks his heart when the boy shakes his head. "N-no. No. I - I hated it," he chokes out, and Zayn feels his own eyes burn with tears as he wraps his arms around the boy tightly, swallowing down the lump in his throat.
Louis doesn't try to hide his own tears. He pulls away from the embrace and sits on the stool next to their son so that they're at eye level.
"Harry," he says softly, making the teenager look up at him properly. He reaches out to take his hand with both of his own, holding it gently. "Sweetheart. Did - did Brad ever -" he stops to take a shaking breath and Zayn feels his heart constricting in his chest because he already knows the question that's about to come. "Did Brad ever force himself on you?"
Harry takes a shuddering breath, looking across at his Dad with his eyes filled with so much hurt. Then he shakes his head. Zayn feels ready to pass out.
"He - he liked to - to - you know," he mumbles, cheeks reddening beneath his tears. "Try things. And I didn't really like a lot of them. But I consented to having sex with him in the first place, so - so if I tried to say no half way through, then that doesn't - that doesn't count, does it? And sometimes his hand would be around my throat, and that would make it hard to say anything at all," he murmurs.
Any relief that Zayn had felt, once again, vanishes. He locks eyes with his husband over Harry's head and feels as if he can't breathe for a moment. He tightens his hold on their son and Louis looks back at the boy with wide, serious eyes that are still flooded with tears.
"Sweetheart. If you say no, no matter how far into sex you are with somebody, that isn't - that's not consent anymore. And if that person carries on or does something to take away your ability to say no, that's not okay. That's assault," he says slowly.
Harry's tears come to a slow halt, and his eyes widen as he glances up at Zayn, whose own tears have begun to fall by now. Then he turns back to Louis and shakes his head.
"I wouldn't say no, though. That's not - Brad had no way of knowing that I wanted to stop. And when he was - when his hand was -" he lifts one shaking hand to hold to the base of his throat, and for the first time, Zayn notices the yellowing bruises that are there - not lovebites but finger-marks. His stomach churns and he decides that he never wants to let the kid go ever again. "When it was there, he - he wasn't doing it to keep me quiet. It was just - it was a thing that he said he wanted to try. And - and I told him I would, and yeah, it - it was to make him happy but I still basically said yes. Just because I didn't enjoy it doesn't mean it was - it was rape," he whispers, looking afraid, as if he's questioning it himself now that it's been mentioned - as if he's truly been unaware of the amount of manipulation that he's been put through.
Zayn winces, already knowing the depth of the situation, the difficulty that will come with handling it and telling the police.
Louis chews his lip and keeps Harry's free hand in his. "Okay. Okay, I understand that, sweetheart. But, you need to know that just because you didn't say no, it doesn't mean that you consented. Did he ever ask before he tried to sleep with you, or stop and make sure you were okay, or give you any opportunity to say yes or no or anything at all?" He asks softly.
Harry squirms a little, looking uncomfortable. He isn't crying so hard now but his breath still hitches on each inhale and exhale.
He shakes his head after a moment. "No. Not - not even our first time," he whispers, shoulders slumping. "I didn't think he needed to - he - he was my boyfriend. And he'd done stuff with people before so I just thought - I thought that was how it was meant to be."
He sounds terrified, as if he's only just finding this out at the same time as his parents, and that only makes Zayn feel worse for the boy. It only proves how innocent he is and how much Brad took advantage of that.
"It isn't," Zayn assures him in the strongest voice he can muster. "That isn't how it's meant to be. And you did nothing wrong - those times when you said you'd sleep with him as an apology? That was what he wanted. It was his way of taking control and getting you into bed without you seeing that it wasn't actually your idea at all. Did he never speak to you about consent, even once?" Zayn presses, not wanting to scare the boy further but knowing he has to make certain that he understands how severe the situation is and that they know exactly what they're dealing with before the police show up.
Harry swallows audibly and shakes his head. "No. No, he - I told him once that - that it -" he flushed again, ducking his head. "That it hurt. Like, while he was - you know, doing it. And he said it was normal and he never stopped. And after he tried the - the strangling thing, I said to him that I didn't like it but he - he still did it again next time," he admits, then he pales considerably as if he's piecing it all together in his mind. "Oh God."
Zayn feels sick knowing that they've all come to the same conclusion. He feels sick knowing that somebody has taken something from the kid that is meant to be loving and gentle and not at all painful and turned it into a weapon. He feels sick knowing that Louis understands far too well and that this is something so common when it shouldn't be.
"Haz," he whispers, pulling the boy against his front again. Harry leans into him but he doesn't cry this time. He looks as if he's still trying to work it all out in his head, lip caught between his cheeks and eyes flitting back and forth. "You know, we - we have to tell the police about this. Alongside the physical and verbal abuse - this is - it's sexual abuse too," he murmurs.
Harry shudders against him.
Zayn feels the worst that he's felt in as long as he can remember. He would die to protect his boys...and yet that isn't enough, because there are people like Brad out there in the world that will find a way to slip between the cracks and poison the most sacred of things.
"I don't - but it's not like - it's not conventional, right?" Harry whispers, voice shaking as he grips Louis' fingers tightly. "It's not, and even if it was, most of the time people get away with it. Even if I told the police and it went further, to - to court or something, there wouldn't be enough evidence, and - and I don't think Brad even knew he was doing it so -" Zayn wants to cut in an say that of course Brad knew what he was doing - but he knows his kid is right.
As tragic and hateful as it is, even when sexual assault is 'conventional' - which isn't even a word that should describe such a thing - the perpetrators often get away with it.
"I've seen things on TV before, I've read about it. People get dragged in court and it makes no difference. I don't want that. I don't even know if - if it was like that. Maybe I'm just thinking about it too much," he whispers.
Zayn sucks in a breath and locks eyes with his husband again, both of them wincing. Because Harry's a smart kid and everything he's saying is true and understandable. But they both know that they can't just keep it quiet. They can't.
"You're right," Louis breathes eventually. "Maybe nothing will come of it and Brad won't get more than a slap on the wrist. But we need to tell the police still, Harry. Then it'll be up to you whether you want to take it to court or not. Either way, I'm calling the lawyers and making sure we get a restraining order on Brad ASAP. Whatever you chose to do, we're by your side. I'm just sorry we weren't there sooner," he whispers, and Zayn nods immediately in agreement, leaning down to press a kiss into their son's curls.
Harry takes a shallow breath. "It's just - a lot. I thought - I didn't know it wasn't right. And if I don't even know, then how's anyone else going to believe me? And - and I don't want to go to court against him. I just want to write the statement and get the restraining order, and stay here. I wanna take a gap year, and not go back to school until I'm ready, and I really don't want to even think about the fact that he was - he was hurting me in that way too because I don't even know for sure if he was. I feel sick," he rushes, looking paler again.
Zayn winces. "Alright, buddy. Okay, it's okay," he says, even though nothing about any of this is even slightly okay. "One thing at a time, okay? All that matters right now is you and what you want to do. And whatever that is, me and Dad are here with you every step of the way. You wanna take a year out? We'll help you arrange that. You wanna write the statement and never see Brad again, we can sort that too. If you decide you want to take this to court, we'll make that happen. This is about you, okay? Not what anyone else thinks you should do. Just you," he murmurs, because as much as he'd like to see Brad sentenced and locked away - he knows that that's unlikely to happen given the lack of evidence, as much as that disgusts him to even say.
But the words seem to relieve Harry all the same because he takes a few deep breaths that bring colour back to his cheeks, then lifts a shaking hand to wipe at his eyes. "Right now - I - I want to watch rubbish TV and forget about everything. And I want you guys to speak to Niall, because - because you can't forget about him in all of this," he says, with a level of maturity that makes Zayn's chest burn with pride amidst all the pain and anger. Harry looks up at them both with his eyes bloodshot and bleary. "I just want you there when - when the police get here."
They both nod instantly at that. "Of course, baby," Zayn breathes, keeping his arms around the kid for as long as he's able to.
This isn't something that's going to be fixed right away. Maybe it won't ever be fully fixed and maybe Brad will walk free for the rest of his life. But he means his words with all of his heart.
Whatever happens on the path to conquering this - they'll be with him every step of the way.
AN:
so this came out way longer than expected. i felt it was an important situation to address given that brad was manipulating harry into sex from the beginning and it isn't just something that should be dismissed - however, i want to keep the storyline as realistic as possible and tell you now that brad won't be facing jail time for the sexual abuse of harry. in the real world, it's highly unlikely that a court would pass any sentence involving a case like this one, where there's a very blurry line between consent and non-consent — though it is very obvious from the eyes of the people involved, from the eyes of a judge, it is something that would need evidence based upon more than words. it's sickening, but there are always two sides to things - unfortunately there are also a lot of people who would lie about sexual assault and the evidence-based approach stops innocent people from going to jail for crimes they didn't commit. it's a really difficult situation to broach which is why i've literally spent hours just researching so as not to make a mess of things. i tend to go down the path of making things happy for the sake of a good chapter with positive comments. in this case, i feel unable to do so.
if you have been through anything similar to what harry has in this part, then please do not think that i am dismissing what has happened to him or undermining it. what brad did is sexual assault and it is not okay and he should be punished for it by law. your story is and always will be valid. you deserve justice and recovery.
unfortunately, law doesn't always give us justice, and that is what i hope you can understand is being shown in this chapter - a more realistic view of how things would likely go in real life.
that being said, the next chapter is going to involve the next steps that harry chooses to take as well as details of niall's mental health - there will be details of depression, suicidal ideation and unconventional self-harm as i don't think that the latter is something that is spoken about enough either. please take caution whilst reading, i try to be as undescriptive as i can when it comes to injuries but i know personally how easy it can be to fall into bad habits - so please don't read the next chapter if you think it will trigger you (it will only be speaking about sh and suicide, not the actual events).
sorry for the ramble.
stay safe all.