Nandini's POV.....
We are now sitting in the balcony swing with Neel in my lap and the baby in Manik's lap.
We were silent as we don't know what to say. We can't ask her anything about her also. The silence was broken by Neel.
Neel: Didi apka name tya(kya) hain??
We were literally shocked as we can't tell about her to Neel also in front of her. We looked at each other for help but we both were helpless at that time. We were thinking something suddenly she climbed down from Manik's lap and ran towards the bedroom. She must be hurt.
Manik: Lagta hain bura laga ise.
Neel: Mumma Papa tya(kya) mujhe nahi puchna tha?? Ish(is) she angly(angry)??
My boy said with tensed face looking towards us.
Nandini: Nahi baby.....aisa kuch nahi hain. Asalme didi na baat nahi kar sakti.
I didn't wanted to tell him but have to say. His eyes became glassy listening to me. He is very sensitive
Neel: Choly(sorry) mumma. Main kabhi aisa nahi kahunga. Pakka plomish(promise).
Saying this he hugged me. I could feel his tears.
Nandini: It's okay baby. Aapne jaan bujhke thorehi kiya hain!! It's okay. Now stop crying.
I said him rubbing his tears. Then we saw her coming near us with a paper in her hand. She gave me the paper. Something was written there. I took it and what I saw there was enough for me to freeze. She had written her name on that. I looked at her with glassy eyes where she smiled at me.
Nandini: Baby....aap....ka....name....Ma..Mai..ra....hain!!!!
My voice was choking. I was badly stammering while saying. She nodded her head positively
I looked at Manik who was also looking at her with teary eyes. I rubbed my tears which were ready to flow down from my eyes. I composed myself and looked towards Neel.
Nandini: Accha Neel didi ko apne room dikhane leke jao okay??
Neel: Otay(okay) mumma. Chalo didi.
They left the room. I was hardly controlling my tears. I looked at Manik. Tears were flowing from his eyes also. I just crushed into his arms and started crying. I can't hold it more. He tightened his grip around me. I can feel wet on my shoulder and his grip was becoming tighter with each passing minute. We both were crying with the support of each other.
He consoled himself then tried to break the hug. But I not let him do that. I hold him more tightly.
Manik: Nandini look at me. Meri taraf dekho.....
I nodded negatively as I don't want to. What I want was him. But he is The Manik Malhotra. Obviously he is stronger than me. He forcefully broke the hug and cupped my face.
Manik: Nandini please don't cry. We have to be strong right?? Hume rona nahi hain.
Nandini: Aisa hamesha hamare sath hi kyun hota hain Manik??
Pata hain....maine jab us..se pehli ba..ar dekha tha na tub....se pata nahi kyun ek alag sa bonding mehsus kar rahi hu main. Aur....aur jab aaj use senese lagaya tha na tab mujhe hamari Maira ki yaad aa gayi thi.
Ma....nik ye bhi to ho sakta hain na ki yehi hamari.....
Manik: Aisa kaise ho sakta hain Nandini?? Hamari bacchi to....
Agar yeh hamari bacchi hui na to mujhse jyada khush koi nahi hoga. Pata hain....tumne jo kuch bhi kaha na I also felt the same.
Accha choro yeh sab. Rona band karo. I'm damn hungry yaar.
I smiled at him weakly as I know he is trying to lift my mood. He is also broken like me. I don't want him to be sad. He kissed my eyes to soak the tears.
Nandini: Accha chalo. Mujhe bhi bhook lagi hain.
We lifted our moods as we have to be strong. We had some light snacks and coffee.
Nandini: Manik....ab hume kya karna chahiye?? I mean Ma....ira....
I said literally sobbing. He held my hand.
Manik: Don't worry. Maine kuch investigators ko heir kiya hain. Wo log uske bare me research kar rahe hain.
I just nodded my head.
................................................................................................................................
It was dinner time. I fed both the kids and made them sleep in their respective rooms. I came to my room only to see Manik standing near the glass window watching the night view.
I went near him and hugged him from his back. He held my hands. There was complete silence between us but it was not awkward. Tears started rolling from my eyes. He turned towards me and cupped my face.
Manik: Are Nandini....ab kya hua?? Why are you crying now??
Nandini: I'm sorry Manik....I'm sorry....
I can't control more and crushed on his arms. I really don't deserve him. He has many wishes with babies but I can't fulfill it. I'm really very bad.
Manik: Nandini why are you saying sorry now?? Kuch hua hain kya??
Nandini: Manik main bohot buri hu. Tum mere liye kitna kuch karte ho. Par main....main to tumhare liye kuch nahi kar pati hu. I'm really very sorry.
He broke the hug and hold me from my shoulders.
Manik: Kisne kaha ki tum mere liye kuch nahi karte?? Tum bataao name main mu tor dunga uska. Tum sirf mujhe uska name bataao.
I rubbed my tears roughly.
Nandini: Kisine nahi kaha. Main khud keh rahi hu.
He crossed his arms around his chest.
Manik: Aur wo kyun??
Nandini: Manik mujhe pata hain ki tumhe bohot kuch plans tha hamare baccho ko lekar. Par main tumhari ye plans kabhi bhi puri nahi kar sakti. I'm really sorry Manik.....I'm sorry.....
Manik: Hey hey hey.....what are you saying Nandini?? How can you even think that?? Mujhe koi problem nahi hain.....
Nandini: Pata hain mujhe ki tum mujhe bhulane ke liye yeh sab keh rahe ho. Sab meri galati hain. Agar main us din zid nahi karti to tum hame waha lekar bhi nahi jate. Aur aaj hamari bacchi hamare sath hoti. Aur upar se mujhe yeh problem bhi nahi hoti.
I literally crying badly. I can never forgive myself. I can never. I hate myself.
Manik: Nandini calm down please. Dekho isme tumhari koi galati nahi hain.
Nandini: Meri hi galti hain Manik. Main ab kabhi bhi tumhare sapne pure nahi kar sakti. Main ab dobara kabhi bhi Maa nahi ban sakti. I hate myself for this Manik. I hate myself. I don't even deserve you. You deserve someone better than me jo tumhare sapne pure kar sakti hain.
Thud.....
I can't even understand for a while what happened just now. Then I realized he slapped me. And it was too hard. I held my right cheek with my right hand. He suddenly jerked me towards himself. I landed on his chest.
Manik: Problem kya hain tumhari ha?? Pagal ho tum?? Ha mere bohot sapne the hamare baccho ko lekar. Iska matlab yeh nahi ki tum mere liye important nahi ho. I love you dammit I fucking love you. Aur tumse zyada important mere liye aur kuch bhi nahi hain. Samjhi??
He literally shouted on me then immediately he hugged me tightly.
Manik: I love you Nandini. I love you. Sirf tum mere liye matter karti ho. Aur kuch bhi nahi.
He broke the hug and kissed my teary eyes. I pecked his lips. He smiled at me.
Nandini: Manik I need you.
Manik: I'm all yours.
Saying this he took my lips for a soul stirring kiss. He broke the kiss feeling me breathless and kept his forehead on mine.
Manik: Nandini are you sure??
Nandini: Very much.
He took me in bridal style and walked towards the bed. Gently throwing me on the bed he came over me. Once again he made me completed. His love is always reflected in his acts. He is just a monster on bed but I love that monster very much.
We were devastated. He collected my shivering body on his arms and rubbed my shoulders to calm me down.
Manik: Nandini....I was too harsh na?? Is it paining much?? I again hurt you na?? Pata nahi mujhe kya ho jata hain jab tumhare sath hota hu to. I can't control myself.
Nandini: Manik you don't have to control yourself. And you can never hurt me. Aur yeh pain....i just love this pain.
He smiled at me and pecked my forehead.
Manik: Okay now sleep. You must be tired. Good night.
Nandini: Good night.
Then we drifted into deep sleep on each other's arms.
To be continued.........