Chapter 56
Genesis was still awake as the sun started to shine through the sheer curtains. He was lost in thoughts of how to accomplish his newest goal. He was drawn from those bloody images when Kris stirred in his lap. He looked down to see her mesmerizing eyes look around with fear before they settled on his own, and he felt her relax against him.
She pushed back a little and sat up. When she looked down to see she was still nude, her head shot back up, and her cheeks were heated. Her voice was surprisingly even. "Did you sleep with me in your lap all night?"
He tried not to grimace at the question. He was only partially successful as he reached out and smoothed a few stray strands of hair from her face. "Did you sleep well?"
Kris narrowed her eyes at him and leaned forward slightly. "You didn't sleep, did you?"
He sighed but wasn't surprised at her insistence. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer. "I had too much on my mind."
Kris stiffened as she realized some of the things he might be talking about. The reminder of getting her past all out made her stomach churn, but she was surprisingly able to push it down enough that she just frowned at him. Her words were hesitant, but she managed to speak without crying again. "I am not sure if you mean about you or about what we talked about, but if it is the latter, I will ask that you let it go. I can barely deal with it as it is. For now, I think it would be best if I focus on convincing myself it is in the past."
He clenched his jaw and didn't speak right away. Finally, he sighed and tucked her under his chin. "I cannot promise to not think about it, but I will promise to not bring it up around you again. You are safe now, and I want to make sure you have no reason to doubt it."
Kris still felt the past trying to crawl out of the dark corners she had pushed it to, so she focused on Genesis' promise to keep her safe and the warm feel of his arms to ground her to the present.
It was several minutes later that she was reminded once again that she was snuggled in his lap with nothing between them but the pants he had slept in. Or rather, not slept in. Not that it mattered to her embarrassment. She sat back but didn't go far. She wasn't sure which would be worse, jumping up and making a beeline for the bathroom and ensuring he also remembered her lack of clothes and noticed her embarrassment, or just staying there until he decided to move. She finally decided on the latter.
She reminded herself that she couldn't live in the past, or she wouldn't be able to live at all. To try and distract herself, she shifted slightly, so she was straddling his hips instead of snuggling against him. The slight change made all the difference in the world. Her cheeks heated a little when she looked up and noticed his eyes had dilated somewhat, and his lips were parted.
His voice was concerned. "Kristobel, I know you are still dealing with everything that has come to light. I cannot take advantage of that."
Kris sighed. It was too easy for him to see through her. Still, even though her decision had been based on trying to distract herself, once she could feel his heat, it brought back memories of a much sweeter variety. She didn't need to convince herself that she wanted him. She leaned a little closer before she responded.
"I will not lie and say that I am alright. I won't even try to tell you that I'm not still hurt by what you did, but that doesn't mean I can't want you. I still love you. I wouldn't have chased you halfway around the world otherwise. I'm not going anywhere."
Genesis sighed and leaned his head back against the headboard. Kris could feel his muscles tighten, but he didn't pull her closer. It was several tense moments later that he sat back up with a frown. "I have no plans to let you go. I did promise to never leave your side again. That doesn't mean I am willing to take advantage of you when you are emotionally vulnerable."
Kris was torn. Part of her wondered if he still saw her as the woman he made love to in Midgar or only something to protect. She shook her head to rid herself of the thought, but it wasn't going anywhere. She swallowed and tried to get her feelings out.
"Genesis, if the only reason you are keeping me here is because you think the goddess would want you to, then I can't allow that. I... I love you, and I had hoped there was more between us than that."
That was one of the hardest sentences Kris had ever forced herself to say. She wasn't given long to worry about it. Genesis instantly crushed her to his chest and whispered in her ear. "Love, you are a gift and a blessing, but that is not why I want you. I want you by my side because I am selfish and cannot think of living without you. I was a fool to leave you in Midgar."
She felt tears on her face again, but she was smiling when she sat back. "That is more like it. You should know by now that we are both too stubborn to just walk away."
He shook his head with a wry smile. "Indeed."
Kris squealed a little as he pulled her closer and got to his knees. She wrapped her legs around him as she didn't know where he was going. He didn't go far. All he did was lean her back and lay her down. His eyes softened. "My love, your desire is the bringer of life, the gift of the Goddess." Those were the last words said for a long while as they got lost in each other once again.
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Kris had almost fallen asleep against Genesis again before he stirred. She groaned when he kissed her forehead and got out of bed. She hadn't wanted to admit that there was more they had to face still. For just a little bit, she wanted to pretend it was only the two of them.
She sat up and stretched. She was still a little sore. A fact that wasn't helped by their recent activities, but she only grinned at the thought. She wasn't about to complain about it.
Before she could stand to get dressed, Genesis padded back to her with something in his hand. She almost missed it since she was mesmerized by the way his muscles moved smoothly under his skin. Her mouth went dry at the memory of what those arms and legs were capable of. It wasn't until he knelt in front of her and took her hand that she realized there was more to his actions than getting ready.
She frowned when he didn't speak right away. His hesitation was out of character, and it had alarm bells going off in her mind. She covered his hand with her other one before he finally spoke. "Love, I know it was wrong of me to let Angeal give this to you. If you would allow it, I would like to rectify that mistake."
Kris froze. She didn't need to ask what he was talking about. She also wasn't prepared for this conversation. Time wasn't going to wait for her, though. Genesis opened his hand to reveal the ring that she had been wearing around her neck. She felt her heart rate spike as he looked into her eyes.
"I understand if you are unwilling to accept this now, but I would still like to ask you to be my wife. The proper way. Kristobel, will you marry me?"
Kris had no idea how to respond. She wanted to say yes. She had even told him less than an hour ago that she was planning to never let him out of her sight again, but marriage was something else. She had so much to work through in her own head that she couldn't bring herself to burden another with it too.
She wrapped her hand around his. Not to negate him, but to cover the sight of the ring while she tried to make a coherent response. "Genesis, I do want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I think I need time right now. It has nothing to do with you, but I'm so messed up that I don't want to start something and have it fall apart because I'm not ready."
He gently squeezed her hand but didn't respond right away. It seemed this was important enough for them both to take their time and think before speaking. Finally, he nodded and kissed her forehead. "I have faith that we will work through both our problems together, so there is no rush. If you do not object, I would ask that you keep this. You can wear it on the chain for now and place it on your finger when you want the world to know that you are mine and only mine. I am content to wait."
Kris' breath was coming faster. Part of her wanted to put it on right that minute, but she couldn't move her hand. The moment passed, and Genesis stood. He only took a few steps and was back with a new chain. She took it from him wordlessly. Before he could walk away again, she grabbed his hand.
"You do know that I am yours and always will be even without this, right?"
He gave her a sad smile and nodded. Given what he had learned of her past, it wasn't surprising that she needed time to learn to trust again. His departure had most likely made it worse, even if she did claim to forgive him. It was something he would have to learn to deal with. In time, he was sure he would be able to prove his commitment. Until then, he would focus on the problems keeping them from that future.