◤ hi I updated twice today
make sure to check
iftm XXX before this.
I noticed that whenever
I do 2 updates some of you
my loves accidentally
skip the first update so i made
this note. I hope everyone
is safe i love you and
stay healthy and happy!
◢
I heard Finn mumbled, 'oh shit.' I remained quiet, my body refuses to move. Chesca is shocked as well. While Jed...
Well he is still Jed. I don't want to look at him, I feel like if I make an attempt, my eyes will burn, so does my heart. However, my eyes have a separate life, in the end I can't help but observe him. I felt my face heated, for how long did I not saw his face? To think I'm head over heels for him before, BEFORE.
He seems taller... His hair is also longer. And he looked mature. I remembered how he's slim buff back then, right now, his biceps and thighs look like they can crush me in a heartbeat. My eyes widened, what the fuck am I thinking? No. Why am I even looking at him? Gosh.
But maybe it's alright since he's not even looking at me. He's staring at... Finn? No maybe Chesca? I don't know. I shouldn't care!
I faked a cough. Jed's eyes lazily directed towards me, again, I felt my face heated. Don't look at me! Pretend I'm invisible and non existent!
"I uhh, I should rest, Chesca, my head is throbbing."
Chesca looked at me with concern etched on her face. She was about to ask something but I rapidly went upstairs towards the room I am currently staying in.
I jumped on the bed, grabbed a pillow and screamed with my everything. Why is he here? After all this time, why did he come back? He should've stayed away. Away from me. I'm no good for him after all.
After punching my bed and rolling on it like crazy, I stood up. Gosh, I promised the band to make them cookies. I was about to step out when I stumbled across a luggage on my way. I don't remember having a luggage here.
I sat quietly thinking where it came from when it dawned on me. Is this Jed's? Why is it here?
Oh yeah, I remembered, Jed's room became a stock room temporarily. I face palmed. He doesn't know about me staying in here anyways. Just then I realized how I'm holding my breath since earlier. This is sickening. I hate this.
My eyes suddenly warmed up. I felt my nose became itchy and my breathing hitched. Am I really about to cry right now? I can't cry, I shouldn't... but the liquid residing the side of my eye is about to fall down.
Just when tears was about to roll down my cheeks, someone entered the room.
"My luggage— are you crying?"
Jed's voice, although showing concern through his question, gave me chills. It sounds so cold. So distant. Unfamiliar. Opposite of what he promised me back then.
"I want to pursue music. The band will be big, we will travel around the world... In different cities, tourist spots. And you will be there with me."
Jed's hand felt cold because of the night breeze, but to me, these hands are cupping my heart and warming my soul.
"When you're big and famous, you will gain a lot of fangirls."
His smile widened, he brushed my cheek with his thumb.
"It's not yet happening, but you're already jealous?"
I swatted his hands away from me.
"As if you're not a girl magnet right now. I have to deal with those glares and sneers everytime we're together."
He pouted his lips, a mannerism I have observed that he does whenever he's stifling a smile or attempting to tease me.
I felt his other hand pat my head.
"But does it matter when I only look at you?"
My cheeks were tainted shades of red. What's up with musicians and their dangerous love language?
"Look who's blushing."
He continued teasing me.
"I am not!"
He grinned, scrunching his nose.
"I couldn't ask for more that you're here, I guess."
He sighed then leaned towards me, resting his head on my shoulder. I felt his soft breathing fanning my hands that he is playing.
Minutes passed, he stayed silent. It's a comfortable silence.
"Lucia."
He stopped fiddling with my hand, rather, he clasped his hand with mine locking it together.
"Hmm?"
His small gesture made me smile sheepishly.
He sat straight, staring at me. I could've sworn I saw different emotions swirling on his eyes.
"If I leave... and let's say I come back... would your eyes look at me the same way you do now?"
His voice sounded so sincere. The way he said those words, it seemed like it wasn't a question but a request... an unspoken promise.
I held his cheek, trying my best to show him how I feel. How my intense heartbeat is deafening me.
"As long as your presence seeks the familiarity in me, as long as you're you. Jed, I will."
He gave me a smile. I returned it with my most vulnerable one.
"No... I just yawned."
He hesitated for a second but then decided to not ask any further. He proceeded to open his luggage, pulling out a pair of gray sweatpants and a white shirt. In the process, I can't help but notice the tattoo inked on his hand. It says lux, my mediocre Latin understood it as 'light' if translated. It must hold a strong meaning to Jed. Of course I am curious but I can't bring myself to ask about it.
"Lucy?"
Chesca entered the room, witnessing my uneasiness and tensed flinches.
"You can stay in my room until Jed's room is safe for use."
I nodded eagerly, wanting to escape from the suffocating atmosphere inside.
Chesca pulled me by the wrist gently, she looked left and right making sure no one will hear us.
"Are you okay? I'm sorry I didn't know he's going home today."
"Silly, don't worry about me. This is his house, he can go home whenever he wants. As if I care, duh."
Chesca stayed silent for a while, but then she pulled me in a hug. I only sighed a breathless sigh.
"It's alright to care... It's okay to not be fine, Luc."
I smiled in contentment. I'm still lucky to have her by my side.
"Maybe I will get better after I make some cookie?"
•••
"I thought you guys are abandoning me!"
Finn dramatically made a face.
"Shut up Hemmington."
"Now, now, why is my girlfriend so moody— broOOOOOO!"
Finn stopped talking when Jed entered the kitchen. He threw himself to him, and as weird as it may seem, Jed just let Finn cling on him like a koala.
I cleared my throat then proceeded to plate the cookies. I should refrain myself from having any kind of interactions with him. No. Nope.
"Jed, you're awake. Coffee?"
Chesca offered him a mug. I saw Jed shook his head slightly.
"Is this... latte?"
"When did you become so choosy you brat?"
Chesca scolded him while Jed quietly sat beside Finn.
"I'm fine with water then."
I sighed. So this is what abroad does to you. Secretly, I rolled my eyes, well. Maybe not so secretly because Finn had to react.
"Ms. Lucy, your eyes might go white forever if you continue rolling it."
My cookies were done well. After putting the plate on the table, Finn was the first to grab three pieces. It's a good thing I saved more for the other guys and kept it in a box.
Chesca praised me for doing a good job, while Finn cannot talk because he's not letting his mouth vacant.. not even for air.
Jed sat quietly. His eyes are looking everywhere except the cookies. He likes those, especially with extra chocolate chips so I faked a cough to get his attention. He attentively turned his head on me.
"You can have one."
So much for not interacting, Lucy.