POV:YOU
Cold
It was cold.
I shivered as I walked down the sidewalk, a pair of jeans, along with a Tshirt and boots. I hadn't thought it through, I didn't think before I took action.
And I hated myself for it.
But I couldn't bring myself to turn around.
As soon as Yoongi had said those words. I was shocked and I was scared. I felt confused and I felt like there was hardly any air. I couldn't breathe properly.
By the time Yoongi had figured out what was happening, I had already left his side and headed to the door in panic. He shouted for me but it was if I was deaf, I just couldn't hear it, I had one objective at that moment, and it was to breathe. I needed fresh air, I needed to think.
The others heard his calls for me and all quickly followed him as he walked after me. I was so close to the door,before Namjoon gripped my wrist,
"Y/N, look at me please."
I didn't.
I forced my wrist out of his grip and continued to walk.
"Y/N!"
Jimins voice cut through the air. At his outburst, I stopped, my hand hovering over the door handle.
"You said you loved me, us, why are you leaving?"
I did love them.
"I'm sorry."
I didn't want to leave.
But I did.
I left them there, they screamed for me and chased after me until I finally managed to lose them on the streets.
I hated myself.
Why was I being selfish?
Cold air coddled me as I continued to walk, not knowing where I was going.
I couldn't stand the thought of the boys being out here in the cold just trying to find me.
But I couldn't turn around.
A warm light casting onto the snow caught my eye as I looked up to see a twenty four hour café open. Needing to escape the cold, I quickly made my way to the entrance and opened the door, a bell ringing as I did.
As I walked in, a old woman immediately popped up from behind the counter.
"Welcome-oh my gosh deary you look freezing!"
She quickly made her way over to me and guided me to a booth.
"Thank you, but I'm afraid I can't buy anything."
"Oh sweetheart do you think I'm a monster? You're getting something on the house."
"You really don't have t-"
"Nonsense, plus, you look like you could use something to make you feel better."
I only nodded and with that she left to get me something.
I looked out the window and watched as the snow continued to fall. I hope they were okay, I hope they went back home.
I hope I'm not going to lose them.
"Here you are deary, now, I may be old, but my eyes still work and it looks to me like you're very troubled at the moment young lady."
I looked to her and then to the hot chocolate she brought, I smiled, thinking of Taehyung and the amount we drank together.
We actually went on a sugar high because of it, which Jin wasn't very happy about.
I looked back to the old woman,
"I feel so lost."
She smiled gently at me and sat opposite me.
"Come, sometimes it's nice to vent to a stranger."
I picked up my mug and took a sip before putting it down.
"How do you know when someone loves you, truly and it's not just..their personality?"
"Well, for starters, they would treat you a lot better than others. They'd be conserned about everything when it comes to you, just wanting to make sure your safe. They would enjoy being in your company and wouldn't want to leave your side. They would just want to love you."
I nodded looking down at my mug once again.
"How do you know when you love someone?"
"Well for starters, if you have to ask yourself if you love them, chances are you do."
I looked up to her,
"I just-I'm scared."
"Of what sweetheart?"
"That's its not real, that it's, just fake love."
Instinct.
"It's okay to be scared, it's okay to have fear. But you can't stop fear, it's part of being human. Everyone feels scared more than once in their life.
But the amazing thing about fear, is that you can face it. You can overcome it and see what lays on the other side. Whether it's bad or good, you'd forever feel that sense of regret of you never dived straight into the challenge, straight into your fear. An the amazing thing about facing your fear, is that, once you have, you get to see that beauty on the other side. At first it might not seem like it's so beautiful, but everything happens for a reason child, and sometimes, you just need to let life guide you and tell you those reasons at its own pace."
She's right.
I'm being a coward.
I know the boys love me.
And I love them.
It's not just instinct.
It's a connection.
A bond.
It's
My Euphoria.
I jumped up from the seat and got out starting to head for the door before I stopped and turned around to the woman.
"Thank you."
"It's a pleasure sweetheart. Now go get them!"
I smiled, determined.
I nodded and quickly left the café running back the direction I came.
Back to them.
Back to my happiness.
The snow bit my skin but I didn't stop.
I crossed a road, a car having to hit its breaks so they didn't hit me.
They driver hooted at me, screaming profanity, but I didn't stop to apologize, I kept running.
Finally I reached my apartment building.
But I stopped in my tracks as I saw seven figures standing screaming my name. One of them holding back another.
I knew who they were.
Fear froze me.
No.
I won't let fear stop me.
"Y/N PLEASE COME BACK!"
Jungkook screamed.
I could hear the tears falling down his face.
"Hyung, we have to find her!"
"Taehyung don't make me knock you out."
Jin spoke.
"This is all my fault if I didn't-"
"No its not Hyung, we're all at fault, we should of been more honest with her."
Namjoon spoke sternly to Yoongi.
"She's okay right, she's not going to pass out or-"
"Hoseok you're going to make Taehyung worry even more!"
Jin replied as he continued to hold Taehyung.
Jimin said nothing.
He just stood there.
I wanted to call out to him.
But tears fell down my face.
I couldn't call him,
Because he already heard my sob.
He turned around to see me standing with my head down, shaking from crying and the cold.
"Guys.."
He spoke to the others.
They all immediately turned to him them saw my figure.
None of them moved.
Whether it be fear like I had
Or because they felt betrayed.
"Y/N.."
Jimin spoke softly but enough for everyone to hear.
He slowly walked forward, leaving the others behind.
"Y/N."
He spoke again.
He was now at hand reach.
So close but he felt so far.
I felt alone.
And I didn't want to be.
"I'm sorry-"
None of them spoke.
"-I'm so sorry that I left you like that."
I kept my head down, gripping the bottom of my shirt with my hands. Tears falling and joining the snow.
"I shouldn't have left you. I shouldn't have of made you worry. I was scared and I was confused. I didn't know how to deal with that, with that fear. So I ran away. I ran away because I was too scared to face it. I was too much of a coward and thought that it wasn't real. Deep down I knew it was, but I let fear get the best of me and frighten me to the point where I would hurt others with my actions."
I took a breathe and looked up to meet Jimins eyes.
"But I won't run away, I won't leave you in the dust because I can't face my fear."
Tears were evidently falling down Jimins face. The others soon walked up next to him, staring at me.
"When my parents died,I thought it would just be me. And I thought that was how I would live for the rest of my life. But you guys changed that. You guys cared for me so much and showed me what love was again. You showed me that I wasn't alone and you taught me to love myself for who I am. I could never ever repay you back with anything more valuable. You guys are my happiness and my euphoria. You're my safe space and who I can trust with my life. And the moment I walked out that door, I left that all behind. I left you guys behind."
My hand made its way to my face were I started to try and wipe them away, but failing as the tears still fell.
"But I don't want to leave that all behind. I don't want you guys to stop loving me and I don't want to stop loving you. I want to be with you and I want to grow with you. I want to live everyday surrounded by the people that make me the happiest, the ones that bring a smile to my face no matter what. The ones that will cuddle me to death because it keeps me warm. I want to be with the ones that I love.
I want to be with you."
I opened my eyes to see them all staring at me, their own tears take over their face.
The silence was too loud.
No one spoke.
Jimin arm reached out to me and pulled me to his chest.
He held me tightly, almost afraid if he let go, I would be gone.
His head was on top of mine, facing down, taking in my scent.
"I love you."
He whispered.
The others slowly started to form a group hug, everyone making sure they had a hold on me.
"We love you Y/N."
We stood their, the snow falling slowly as we held each other.
Jin eventually let go of the hug,
"Come, let's go inside, it's getting colder and I don't want anyone getting sick."
Despite that, Jimin didn't let me go.
He picked me up, carry me so that I faced the back. We walked into the lobby then into the elevator where we eventually made it back home.
There was no talking.
Just a comfortable silence.
They made me shower and put on warm clothes, making me tuck up in bed, with at least five blankets.
They all made sure they were around me, even all somehow fitting in my bed for one big needed cuddle session.
Hoseok laid on my right while Yoongi on my left. Behind Yoongi was Jin them Namjoon. Behind Hoseok was Taehyung who had Jimin between him and Jungkook. All holding each other close. Everyone had fallen asleep besides Yoongi and I.
"Hey kitten?"
"Yes Yoongi?"
"I love you."
"I love you more."
Nothing mattered more to me now.
Nothing held a higher standard.
Because I was with my family.
My best friends.
My support.
My happiness.
My Euphoria.
:}
How you doing?
You must of noticed that I used Euphoria alot and that's because that's my message with this book.
To me, Bts is my escape and my happiness. Of course other things make me happy. But Bts had a huge impact on my life and I want that to be known.
Another thing you may have noticed I mentioned alot is fear. And let me tell you right now, fear is normal. Being scared of something is human.
There's a quote I'd like you to think over,
"Never trust your fears, they don't know your strengths."
-Athena Singh
You're stronger than you give yourself credit for.
I love you guys and thank you for your endless support💜
(also no this isn't the end of the book just in case you think that)
Xoxo
Randomgirl300