Louis stands in the doorway of the living room for a moment before he leaves, lips pursed as he chews on the inside of his cheek worriedly.
Harry is meant to be here today, only he'd texted last minute to say he couldn't make it - something about a forgotten assignment. And he knows for a fact that the kid wouldn't bail when he had made a promise to Niall just because of schoolwork. Obviously he knows how important his education is to him; but more important than his family? It just isn't like the eighteen year old. They haven't seen him in weeks, which is a red flag in itself since the kid has never lasted more than a couple weeks without coming home before now.
Niall's upset, he can tell too. The kid had tried to cover it up with an understanding nod and a forced smile, but Louis knows his boys well enough to be able to tell what they're really feeling (well, most of the time, at least) - and Niall's been down for a while now as it is. Since Zayn had picked him up from school early at the end of last week, he hadn't really spoken to them. Every waking moment he's either going out for a run or he's staying in bed and barely making an appearance other than to get food or say hi when Liam, Emily and Gracie come over. He's worried about the fifteen year old as well; but he knows that the kid will always speak to Harry before he speaks to them, meaning that he has to try and fix the whole Harry situation before he can move onto helping their youngest.
"You gonna be okay down here by yourself, kiddo?" He calls out softly from the doorway, brows tugged together as he watches the small blond pull the blanket up over himself a little further from his space lay on the couch, head on the arm rest, eyes focused on some show on the TV.
The teen gives a noncommittal hum and nods, not look away.
Louis sighs. "Papa's upstairs anyway but he's got a bunch of video calls for work, so make sure you knock if you really need anything, okay?" He says, as if the kid doesn't already know all of this. "You could still call Luke if you want him over. The two of you need to catch up anyway -"
"Dad, it's fine," Niall says softly from the couch, turning to look at him now, eyes tired. "I'm fine. I just don't get why you won't let me come with you," he huffs.
Louis winces at that. He hadn't intended to upset the kid further by telling him to stay home whilst he drives over to the uni. It's just that, if there is something bad going on with Harry (and he really hopes there isn't but he's an anxious mess himself and his brain has been conjuring up the absolute worst scenarios for what could be making him stay away), then he doesn't think it would be beneficial for Niall to be there. Especially not when he isn't on top form himself.
"Ni, you know why -"
"Which is exactly why I should come," he argues, sitting up now, frowning over the back of the couch at the man. "If Harry's going through something, then - then I should be there for him. He's my big brother -"
"And I know that, sweetheart. You two love each other more than anything, but let me be the grown up here, okay? Besides, he's probably fine, so don't worry yourself, okay?" And he knows that that statement is more than just a tad hypocritical given the thoughts rushing through his own mind.
He takes the time to move over to the couch, sitting beside the youngest as the kid scratches subconsciously at the inside of his left wrist. Louis catches his hand and gives it a squeeze, making him look up with concerned eyes.
"He wouldn't just - he wouldn't just break a promise because of schoolwork, Dad. I know he wouldn't, not unless he - unless I've done something wrong. I don't - I should come so I can fix it," he starts, eyes tearing up slightly.
Hating to see any of his boys upset, he doesn't hesitate in lifting his free hand to cup the side of the fifteen year olds face, leaning in to press a kiss to his forehead atop of the blond hair flattened against it from lying down.
"You know it's nothing you've done, honey. There's not a thing you could do to push Haz away, he'd follow you to the ends of the earth and you wouldn't even have to ask," he soothes, because it's the truth. All three boys are close but Harry and Ni are connected in a way that he isn't sure he'll ever be able to comprehend. He smiles in an attempt to offer further reassurance, though it feels forced when he sees the sadness in those blue eyes. "Hey. You know you don't have to wait for Harry to come home to talk to us, Ni. Whatever's going on, you can just say it, to me or Papa or Ash - you have a session with him on Monday anyway. Just, don't feel like you have to keep it all in because of what's going on with your brother."
Niall eyes him for a moment before he looks down and nods. "Can you just - tell him I miss him? I know I said it when we spoke last week but can you just tell him again?"
His shoulders slump a little at that, pressing his lips together as he lets out a deflated breath. Sticking to the original plan, he knows he has to fix whatever is going on with Haz before he moves on to Niall - it's been some time since they've had to deal with anything for either of the boys; since Gracie was born, everything has been pretty smooth sailing.
There's a selfish part of him that feels glad that the boys still need him, that they're not too grown up to still need their Dad. Not that he would ever wish for any of them to hurt, of course not.
He nods. "Of course I will, sweetheart. I'm sure he's okay, alright? Just - just watch your show and relax. And no going out for a run, okay? Take a day off before you burn yourself out," he reprimands gently; though he means the words because the kid had gone out for almost three hours the previous day (and then proceeded to eat the entire contents of the cupboards and fridge) and he isn't sure whether it should be such a concern. He'd called the kids therapist about it, and Ash had simply said that with Niall's past of addiction, it might just be another thing that he's latching onto and to keep an eye on it. He supposed it's better than drugs but still.
Thankfully, Niall doesn't make any complaint. He nods and uses the corner of the blanket to rub at his face tiredly. "Uh-huh," he mumbles, moving to lay back down.
Louis watches the kid with gentle eyes for a further few seconds before he stands and leans down to kiss his head again. "I shouldn't be too long. Help yourself to food if you get hungry," he says, the same line he always uses before he leaves the house.
Niall just nods again and Louis slips out the house quickly afterwards to avoid any further complain from the kid about going to see his brother.
Saturday traffic isn't too bad thankfully, and it doesn't take very long for him to get to Harry's campus on the other side of the city. He can't help but prepare himself for the worst as he gets out of the car and shoves his hands into his pockets, making his way over to the apartment block where Harry had moved in with Brad months ago.
He pictures the kid deadly hungover from a week of drinking (because he's been at uni, he knows how easy it is to fall into the habit of going out and getting wasted every single night);if not that, then unwell in other ways - really sick and trying to hide it to avoid causing worry, or stressed to the level of being ill, or dealing with some other mental illness brought on by the workload of his course. He isn't sure, he just knows that whatever reason the kid has for staying away, it isn't good.
The elevator is still broken in the lobby of the building, and so he makes his way up the flights of stairs, knees reminding him of his age woefully before he reaches the right floor, wasting no time in knocking on the door to Harry's apartment with his boyfriend.
He thinks he hears movement inside, but then it falls silent. So he knocks again, knuckles rapping a little heavier against the wood. The sound echoes through the hall and he falls back on his heels with a frown, unsure of where else the kid might be on a Saturday other than here or the library.
He decides to call out instead, because it is only eleven and there's a chance he could be sleeping - waking him up doesn't seem like the kindest option but he just wants to see him in person so that he knows he's okay.
"Haz? It's Dad - can I just come in?" He says, softly but with enough volume that he knows the kid will be able to hear from inside.
When it stays silent, his worry doubles and he rests his hand on the door handle, hesitating for barely a second before he turns it and decides to just walk in. However, the handle sticks about halfway, locked.
Maybe he is just out. He doesn't know what to think.
His stomach churns and his mind whirs.
Even when Gracie has just been born and Liam and Emily were in the process of settling in with their newborn, Liam had called multiple times each day and come over at least once a week. None of the boys have ever spent so long away from home, and without so much as a frequent phone call?
He jumps a little when footsteps sound on the stairwell below, and he leaves the door to follow the noise, catching up with another student; a girl with long blonde hair tugged back into a ponytail that ends with strips of pastel blue and pink, her jacket zipped halfway up, books held to her front.
"Excuse me," he calls out, and the girl jumps a little, shooting him a frown and halting halfway down the next flight of stairs. He catches up to her with a sympathetic smile. "Sorry - not a creep, I swear," he says quickly, able to make out the unease on her face pretty quickly. "I'm Harry's father, one of them. Do you - do you know him?"
The girl eyes him for a moment, looking distrustful. "You're his Dad?" She asks, and he nods quickly. "You don't look like him."
He winces a little at that, but at least he knows that the girl is aware of who he's talking about. "Yeah, he's adopted, him and his brother but - well, that doesn't matter. Listen, we haven't heard from him properly in a while, he was meant to come over today and he cancelled again. We're just — worried. You haven't, I don't know, noticed anything off?"
The girl hesitates before her shoulders untense a little and her lips purse and move to the side for a moment. "Honestly? He hasn't been in class much lately," she begins, and instantly, alarm bells are going off in his head because he knows for a fact that Harry would never just skip class, not when he's always worked so hard to get here. "We don't speak as much anymore, think he's mad at me or something. I dunno. You know Brad, don't you?" She asks.
Apparently she knows Harry pretty well. He nods quickly. "Yeah, of course. Two of them have been dating for almost two years now. Why?"
She hesitates again, gaze dropping. "No reason. They're just - I mean, they've been arguing quite a lot. None of my business, apparently, but Brad shouts pretty loud and I'm in the apartment below so - you know, I can't really help what I hear," she explains, and Louis feels his heart skip a beat, because it would make sense.
If Harry and his boyfriend are going through a rough patch in their relationship, it would explain why he's been staying here and not coming home so much. Clearly they're trying to work through something, and Harry's practically an adult; legally he is one. He knows he shouldn't be trying to intrude on his son's relationship without him knowing.
He sighs, nodding. "You think they're splitting up, or..." he trails off, and the girl raises her eyebrows.
"Well, Harry's pretty convinced that the sun shines out of Brad's ass so - doubt it," she says, in a tone that Louis can't quite read.
He nods with a frown of his own, knowing that it's something he's going to have to speak to Harry about at some point because he can't skip class and bail on Niall because of an argument with Brad. Then again, the kid's sensitive. He knows that Harry doesn't deal with confrontation well, he hates arguments. Fighting with his boyfriend probably leaves him not wanting to go out and do anything.
Sympathy courses through him and he digs his hands further into his pockets.
"Right," he says softly. "Listen, I don't think he's in right now, and you'll likely see him before I do. Tell him Dad dropped by and that his brother's worried sick about him. We all are," he adds.
The girl nods quickly. "Yeah, yeah, of course. Nice to know he has people there for him," she says softly, and Louis wants to question the words but the girl looks ready to head off again.
"Thank you," he says quickly, before she can flee. He realises he doesn't know her name, and she turns to provide an answer.
"Leila," she tells him, then presses her lips together in a tight sort of smile. "And it's whatever. I'll tell him what you said if I see him in class on Monday."
She leaves then, and he frowns to himself, glancing back up the stairs and deciding against going back and knocking again. As much as he's worried and wants to be there for Harry, he doesn't want to butt his nose in where it clearly isn't wanted and risk upsetting the kid.
So he leaves, and knows that he'll do whatever he can to be there for him when he speaks to him again - and hell, he hopes it's soon because he isn't sure he can handle another night of overthinking every scenario.
AN:
rubbish ending but wanted to post again so here you go! next chapter will be up tomorrow since I've been on a bit of a writing kick these past few days alongside studying (who needs to know four hours worth of carbohydrates, mono/di/polysaccharides @a-level biology?? me apparently ahaha) but still going.
hope this was okay! tell me what you think about the entire situation with harry as well as niall in the comments!
sending love to you all xo