"So?" Charlie asks impatiently. "What did he say? It was just for the pics, right? They're not really together, are they?"
Castiel lets out a long sigh. "No, Charlie, it wasn't just for the pictures. They did sleep together."
Charlie scoffs. "I swear to god, Cas, I will kill him. Say the word and I will kill him."
"It's not that serious, Charlie," Castiel assures her. "It's just... it's annoying."
"Uh, yeah, you think?"
"I mean, I get it," Castiel continues, mostly talking to himself. "He only took her out on a date to get rumors started. He wanted pictures of them on a date, and he got them. I get that."
"But...?" Charlie prompts.
"It's just..." Castiel shifts uncomfortably. "Their only connection is through me, you know? And that's the whole point, obviously, but come on. Am I just supposed to think that they weren't talking about me behind my back?"
"That's what's bothering you?" Charlie asks skeptically. "Just that you might have come up in conversation?"
"That's exactly what's bothering me!" Castiel says. "I mean, come on! I don't know what they were saying. Maybe they were talking shit about me. I have no idea."
"Aren't they both your friends?" Charlie asks.
"I mean, technically, yeah, but..." Castiel trails off uncomfortably.
"Then they probably weren't talking shit about you," Charlie says. "They seem like pretty nice people. I wouldn't expect them to talk shit about you behind your back."
"But..."
"Okay, let me try this again." Charlie clears her throat, then says a firm, "Cas. They were not talking shit about you. End of story."
"I guess," Castiel says doubtfully. Sure, they're all friends, but he doesn't have a friendship in the celebrity world that's anywhere near as strong as his friendship with Charlie. That's what she doesn't seem to understand. Just because she wouldn't talk shit about him doesn't mean no one else would.
"Is that really all that's bothering you about this?" Charlie asks. "Because I really feel like that's not what should be bothering you about this."
"Then what should be bothering me about this?"
"That Dean slept with your ex, maybe?" Charlie suggests. "I mean, you just don't do that, you know?"
"It was a fake relationship, remember?" Castiel says. "I don't know if I've ever told you, but I'm kinda super gay."
"Gee, thanks for the reminder," Charlie deadpans. "But that's half my point. I mean, you like Dean."
"I wouldn't say I --"
"Okay, you would like to fuck Dean," Charlie corrects herself. "Is that better?"
"Marginally so," Castiel mutters. He honestly regrets ever telling her that. He's never going to hear the end of it.
"Okay, so you want to fuck Dean, right?" Charlie says. "And so he decided to fuck your ex instead."
"It's not his fault that he's hot and I'm gay," Castiel says. "I can't hold that against him, especially when he doesn't know anything about it."
Charlie groans. "Cas, you know you can be upset about something someone did without being upset at them for doing it, right?"
"Then what's the point?" Castiel asks, exasperated.
"What's the point of any of this?" Charlie counters. "What's the point of even thinking about Dean if you're never going to hit him up? "
Castiel purses his lips.
"Exactly," Charlie says. "You're allowed to obsess over Dean, even when you refuse to make a move. That's half the fun of having a crush."
'"Half the torture, more like," Castiel mutters.
"Is there a difference?"