"But if you carry on abusing, you'll be robbed from us
I refuse to lose another friend to drugs
Just come home, don't let go."
Song: Leave A Light On ~ Tom Walker
***
11. A Royal Fuck Up
Khalan's POV
Shayley was acting weird.
I wasn't crazy, I wasn't paranoid, I wasn't just worrying, I was right.
Ever since we got here she had used every single opportunity to get away from Jess and I, because she knew if she stuck with us for too long we'd ask all the questions she didn't want to answer.
"She'll come around," I told Jess, who just sighed and rested her head against the wall.
"What if she's doing it again," Jessica asked. "Using."
"Well," I chuckled sourly. "Shayley is only going to let us know what Shayley wants us to know that's for sure."
"I just wish there was more we could do to help her you know," Jessica remarked.
"I know," I said softly.
"At least she's opening up to people," she said. "Sad that it's not her best friends though."
I sat up. "I'll be right back."
"Where are you going?"
I hoisted myself up from the carpet. "To talk to Shawn."
I ran up the stairs and then to the room we shared.
I barged in. "I need to talk to you."
He looked up from his phone and chuckled. "Well hello to you too Michaels."
"How's Shayley?" I immediately asked.
"Uh...fine I assume?" he answered.
I sighed and sat down beside him. "Shawn, I'm serious. I know she talks to you."
He shook his head. "Not as much as I'd like her to. Look, maybe you're wo-"
"We both know my worrying is justified," I interrupted.
He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. "Princess, whether or not Shayley will talk to you is not up to me."
"You know something," I remarked. "You know what's going on with her, don't you?"
He sighed and got off the bed, pacing slowly in front of me. "If I know anything Princess, it's not my place to tell."
"So you think keeping secrets is better for her?" I challenged, folding my arms across my chest.
"It's complicated," he sighed.
I felt the tears brimming at the bottom of my eyes. "She's my best friend."
"I kno-"
"She's my best friend and I am completely useless when it comes to helping her," I continued firmly.
"I get that Michaels, but I can't tell you anything," he said.
I shook my head, hurt. "You don't know what she's been through, what she's capable of doing to herself once she reaches rock bottom."
"Mic-"
"I found her," I stated. "I found her when she tried to commit suicide Shawn. You don't know what that felt like..."
He looked away, resting his palms on the dresser.
I walked over to him. "Shawn, look at me."
He ran his palm over his face in frustration and sighed. "I...I don't know what to tell you Michaels."
I scoffed and sat down on the bed again, shaking my head.
"Don't do that," he said.
"Do what?" I snapped.
"Don't end the conversation by shutting me out," he explained.
I rolled my eyes. "That's rich coming from you."
"You want to know what's going on with Shayley, talk to Shayley," he said in exasperation. "Whatever you think I know, I don't."
"Unbelievable," I muttered, before storming out.
I shut the door behind me and wiped my face. I waited for a couple of seconds, but it didn't look like he was coming after me.
You want to know what's going on with Shayley, talk to Shayley.
I wiped the tears off my face and shook off the argument I just had with my boyfriend. I made my way to the room where Shayley was sleeping. She'd been napping the whole day and I'll admit, that made me nervous.
I opened the door and walked in, forcing a smile.
"Hello?" she chuckled.
"Oh good, you're awake. That was a long ass nap you took," I joked. "I was beginning to think you were dead."
That was the stupidest joke I could ever think of making.
"I was tired," she shrugged.
Sure, let's go with that.
I was about to ask if she was okay, but she beat me to it.
"Okay, what's wrong with you?" she frowned.
I played it cool. "What?"
She rolled her eyes. "Khalan, I may have been M.I.A. for a long time but I'm still your best friend. I still know you like that."
I smiled. At least she still had her sass.
I shook my head. "Nothing, I promise. Let's go downstairs."
I would have liked to steer the conversation in the direction I intended to at first, but I didn't want to make her feel like she was causing problems for Shawn and I. She was probably already dealing with other things.
She didn't object to my surprise and followed me downstairs. I noticed the way Jacob looked at her and fought to keep the oncoming smirk off my face.
My brother was absolutely broken by the way she broke things off, I hadn't forgotten. But he had moved on, and if she wanted to she could too. If only she wasn't so stubborn and saw that Jacob was such a nice guy.
My eyes met Shawn's briefly and just like that I was sad again. I hated arguing with him, but I couldn't just sit there and watch someone I cared about throw their life away, with him keeping it a secret because of whatever guilty conscience he may have.
Jessica read my expression and opened her arms to receive me. I walked into her embrace and sighed.
"Guessing your little chat with Shawn didn't go well?" she chuckled.
"Not one bit," I muttered.
I watched as Shayley yanked him by the arm to talk to him.
I felt an arm around my shoulder and saw it was Austin.
He planted a kiss on the side of Jessica's head. "Okay, what will it take to erase the frownie faces on both your faces?"
"You can get us our friend back for starters," Jess muttered in reply.
"We've talked about this," he sighed. "Just give her space."
I shrugged his hand off me. "What? No. Why does everyone think she needs space? We gave her space, and she didn't talk to us for months. She's had enough space."
"Let's go guys, I'm hungry," Liam said.
"You're always hungry," Renée rolled her eyes and said.
"And you're always thirsty," he smirked. "But I can help with that."
Cue another bickering session between the two.
I shook my head and walked off, following them.
******
We were playing darts like we usually did whenever we were here, which was most nights. Someone with cooking skills needed to step up or else we were going to be broke by the end of the summer.
I looked over at the counter where Shayley sat talking to Cameron.
At least she's talking to someone.
I had become observant of her. For starters, I noticed she barely ate anything off her plate most nights. She'd just play around with the food and drink something or sometimes nothing at all. And then once we were all busy and not paying attention, for instance now, she would slip away. I never followed her though, she looked anxious when she was in a large group and I didn't want to force her back into a situation she wasn't comfortable with.
Then oddly she got up angrily and then stormed out of the place. Just like that.
I got up.
"Where are you going?" Shawn asked.
"I'm going after Shayley," I stated.
"Princ-"
"Don't Princess me Shawn," I said, frustrated. "You said if I wanted answers, I should talk to her. I don't know about any of you, but I'm done giving her space."
I walked off and ran outside.
"Shayley!" I yelled, causing her to stop and turn around.
She was crying.
"What do you want?" she snapped.
"Shay, are you o-"
"Oh for fucks sake I'm fine," she groaned. "Just go back inside and leave me alone."
"No," I refused.
She sighed. "Khalan-"
"No," I repeated. "Shayley I have left you alone more times than I can count and God knows I'm a terrible friend for it. I have given you space, I have accepted the lies that you're okay every time I've asked, and I am done. I am done giving you space."
"So am I," another voice came.
I looked behind me and saw Jessica walking towards us.
Shayley shook her head. "Well, too bad for you, I don't exactly feel like holding hands and singing songs around the campfire."
"Did you relapse?" Jessica asked bluntly. "And don't even think about lying."
"No!" she yelled in defense.
"Shayley it's okay if you did," I said. "Just let us help you."
She let out a sour laugh. "Help me? Oh I get it, your boyfriend opened his big mouth didn't he? Whatever he said is a lie."
"Shawn didn't tell me anything Shayley," I informed her. "But he doesn't even have to now, I see it."
"I don't need your saving," she said.
"You need help," Jessica stated.
"Why is it so important to everyone that I be such a royal fuck up?" Shayley snapped. "Tell me, why do you so badly want me to admit that I'm a mess?"
"We don't think you're a mess or a fuck up," I sighed.
"Really?" she said angrily. "Because lately it feels like that's how everyone treats me."
"Girls," a different voice came.
I sighed when I saw Austin approaching us.
"What the fuck is this, an intervention?" Shayley spat. "Go back inside Austin."
"Shayley just come back ins-"
She turned and stormed off before he could finish his sentence. I started to go after her but he held my arm.
"No," he said. "That's enough confrontation for one night. Let her cool off, you all need to."
"Let's go inside," Jess said softly, squeezing my shoulder.
I obliged and trudged back into the diner. As soon as we got in Jessica marched to the counter.
"Jess," Austin called after her.
"Everything okay?" Renée asked, the others coming over.
"What the fuck did you say to her?" Jessica demanded.
I looked over and sighed, walking over there.
Cameron remained calm, cleaning the glass he was holding. "I just told her what she needed to hear, not what she wanted to."
"Yeah well you pissed her off," Jess told him, folding her arms across her chest.
"I didn't piss her off," he shrugged. "Whatever you said did. Sure she was a little annoyed at what I told her but she was going to come around sooner or later once it sunk in."
"Why don't we just go back to our seats," Jacob said, trying to calm the situation.
"Yeah," Liam added softly. Even he didn't have a smile on his face.
We followed Jacob, but none of us were clearly into whatever game or topic of conversation that came up.
After a few minutes we just decided to head back into the ranch. My one on one confrontation had turned into a mini intervention that didn't end well at all.
"Hey," Jacob said, gently talking my arm before I went up the stairs. "Don't beat yourself up. She'll be fine."
I offered him a small smile. "I wish I could believe that."
He only chuckled.
"Oh," I said before going. "I'm happy that she has you to talk to at least."
He smiled and gave me a wink before I continued my walk up the stairs.
When I got to Shawn's and my room I hesitated, and then I slowly opened the door. I saw him pacing up and down the room. He stopped when he saw me, and then he sighed, walking over to embrace me in a tight hug.
"I'm sorry Princess," he whispered.
I hugged him back, having no energy to engage in another argument with anyone.
"I messed up big time with her didn't I?" I asked him, leaning my head on his chest. "She's never going to open up now."
He kissed my forehead. "You were right about everything. Maybe it didn't go as planned, but you were right."
I sighed. "Doesn't feel like it."
He gently pulled away and sat on the bed, pulling me onto his lap. "Shayley might not open up, but I will."
"What?" I asked.
"I'm going to tell you everything," he sighed, stroking my cheek with his thumb. "I'm going to tell you everything I know. And then when I'm done, you, me, and everyone in this ranch is going to be the help that our friend deserves.
A/N
Well that was a little intense wasn't it? We'll see how Shayley took it in the next chapter.
Do you guys think Khalan was right about putting her foot down and saying enough is enough and she'd had enough space? What about the confrontation turned intervention ? When I was writing that part I thought Khalan and Jessica might have come on a bit too strong. Should they have backed off once they saw Shayley was already in a bad mood?
Keep voting and commenting. Once again, I love you guys!
- amani