22. Amour
Love
"My parents are going to kill me," Alice groaned, leaning against the windshield of the car.
"They can't. It's your birthday." Finn chuckled beside her. He still wore his suit, dark and tight around his body, though his blazer was now draped over Alice's shivering arms. While the air had been hot and sticky throughout the day, now that midnight was approaching, a chilling breeze had taken over and Alice's dress did not seem to agree with it.
They sat on the hood of the car, leaning against each other in a tangled mess of limbs and tousled hair. Alice melted further into his side, frowning.
"Won't stop them from trying," she muttered.
Her eyes were trained on the sight in front of them. Finn had taken her to their secret spot—where the world felt quiet, and all pressures and responsibilities vanished. Where it was just Alice and Finn—not Alice Travers and Finley Cauley, the two socialites set to inherit their parents' businesses, but instead Alice and Finn, the childhood friends who had been in love since Year Eight.
Maybe longer.
The city was quiet today. There weren't nearly as many cars and people bustling about. Most people were home with their families, celebrating Christmas.
She wondered if her mother had brought out the Christmas cake and crackers since she'd left. If she'd already made a toast with bubbling glasses of champagne and carols playing in the background. It was the same routine every year. She'd probably realised by now that Alice was gone.
Her birthday was coming to an end, and she imagined spending it with her family like she usually did, her stiff Travers smile plastered on her face as she mingled with total strangers. She scoffed at the thought.
She was much happier here, beside Finn, watching the world continue as if they didn't exist. As if there were no consequences for her rebelling against her parents' rules—as if she wouldn't be subjected to a lengthy lecture in the morning.
That didn't matter, though. Not here, at the top of the hill.
Here, the future didn't exist.
There was only the now.
Alice sighed, tugging Finn's blazer tighter around her arms and turned to him.
He was watching her, his brow furrowed in his usual glum stare. His hair had been ruffled from his fight with Theo, and the bruise on his cheekbone was coming along nicely.
"What?" Alice asked, noticing the careful way he watched her.
"What happened between you and Emily?"
She blinked, smirking at him. Of course, he knew she'd gone to speak to Emily. He was always very observant.
"It's none of your—"
"Are we really going to do this again?" Finn interrupted, narrowing his eyes at her. She laughed, shaking her head.
"Just teasing." She paused, gauging his slightly annoyed reaction. Someone was being impatient tonight. She sent him a nonchalant shrug. "We spoke in my room."
"Spoke?" he arched a brow at her, surprised.
"Well," she paused, thinking. "I suppose shouted would be a better word."
"Oh, Alice Travers shouting?" Finn said smugly, his annoyed grimace morphing into a haughty smirk. "How unladylike."
"Shut up, Cauley."
"Going against all the conversation etiquette we wasted our childhood studying."
"Well, I wouldn't be the first," she said, pointedly gesturing to him. His smirk only grew wider. He drew her closer.
"What did you shout about?"
She sucked in a breath, meeting his eyes. "I confronted her."
"About McKay?"
She nodded slowly. "And about you."
"Me?"
"You were right. She's the one who started the rumour about me," she said, pursing her lips. "All those years, I stopped talking to the wrong person."
Finn furrowed his brow in confusion. "But why?"
Alice glowered. "She liked you, apparently."
"Well, she might be a total bitch, but at least she's got taste." Finn shrugged with a smirk, earning a whack to his chest. He caught her hand, gripping it in his. Her fingers were cold, and he rubbed at her skin. "But now we know."
She nodded. "Now we know."
There was a long pause as Finn watched her carefully, her eyes swimming with relief and sadness all at once. He squeezed her fingers, in an attempt at comforting her.
"It's just," she began, deep in thought. "Everything I've always known is suddenly wrong."
He paused, waiting for her to continue. She turned back to face the view, watching the city lights flicker in the night.
"All the people I thought were my friends." She looked back to him. "The people I thought weren't." She released a loud sigh. "Everything's changed. I've lost everyone."
Finn blinked, letting her hand drop and sitting upright.
"You lost people who completely betrayed you."
"They were still my friends," Alice defended herself, sitting upright to match him.
He shook his head, rolling his eyes. "When will you realise that they weren't your friends, Travers?"
"They were," she fought back. "We did everything together. They were by my side through everything, Cauley! You don't understand—"
"No, YOU don't understand, Travers! People who sleep with your boyfriend are not your friend!"
"Yes, Cauley, thank you for the news flash. The past four years, however," she began, her voice condescending and pointed. "They were all I had. They were—"
"They were complete bitches! They were using you, Travers!"
"You weren't there, Finn!" she shouted, her face growing got. "You weren't there! They were all I had!"
He paused, growing quiet, and she continued.
"They were the ones I went to when my fingers were blistered from my etiquette lessons! They were the ones who comforted me when my father tore up my reports for not being good enough! They were the ones who listened to me cry when you disappeared from my life!"
"I didn't want to disappear!" Finn shouted back, settling her with a sharp look. "You just—You believed her!"
His expression softened as soon as the words left his mouth and Alice frowned, turning away.
"I know," Alice sighed finally, her voice softening. "I know that. I just—" She rubbed at her face wearily. "Can we please not fight for once?"
Finn pursed his lips but relented. He slid closer to her, pushing a strand of her out of her face. She gazed up at him at the motion, meeting his eyes, and released a breath, her shoulders slumping.
"What else was I supposed to believe?" she asked, quietly. "You stopped talking to me. It all added up."
"You wouldn't let me speak to you," he replied. "Your house staff turned me away from your door every time I tried."
"What?" Alice looked at him. "I never told them to do that."
"You..." he paused, then released a huff of a breath, running his hands over his face. "Fucking Emily."
"It just hurts," she said. "Emily was always there for me and now..."
"And now you have new friends," Finn filled in for her, his voice gentle. "You have all these new friends who sit with you at lunch and listen to you without wanting anything in return."
He paused leaning to press his forehead against hers.
"And you have me."
She watched him, her heart fluttering at his words. His hand reached up, brushing over her cheek. He dipped his head, resting his brow against hers and she breathed his breath in a cacophony of mint and champagne and vanilla.
His skin was warm against hers and she found herself moving closer, drawn to his warmth and his scent. Her gaze flickered to his lips and she leaned in, brushing his mouth with hers.
And then the space between them was gone and Finn was hungrily capturing her lips with his own, like he'd been waiting for this moment.
He smiled into the kiss, pushing his lips against hers and running his teeth along her bottom lip. Before she could hesitate, his tongue slipped into her mouth and he was pushing her against the hood of the car, crushing her against his body so that he could feel every part of her.
She reached her hand up, first brushing it over the dark bruise forming on his cheek, then lacing her fingers in his silvery hair. He pulled back at her gentle touch, his eyes fluttering open to meet hers—his eyes so full of adoration and love.
"I think I always had you," Alice muttered, her voice raspy in a way that made Finn's heart lurch.
He nodded, his eyes turning dark. "Always."
"Since Year Eight?" She laughed, remembering her awkward first kiss with him.
She craned her neck to brush her lips against his. She could feel where his lip had been cut, the swell of flesh beneath hers. She flicked her tongue over it. It still tasted of blood.
"Since before that," he replied lowly, pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth. He moved down, pecking her jaw before sucking on the sweet spot beneath her ear. His jaw was rough over her neck. She sighed.
"Really?" Alice asked, her fingers tightening around his hair.
He hummed against her skin, sending a shiver down her spine. He pulled back, hovering over her face to meet her eyes – his expression deadly serious.
"Travers," he paused. "Alice."
She shuddered at the sound of her name on his lips.
"Alice," he repeated, liking how it tasted in his mouth. "I think I've always loved you."
"Always?" Alice blinked. "Present tense?"
He barked out a laugh, his cheeks turning an uncharacteristic pink, but nodded, nonetheless. "I think I never stopped."
Her heart fluttered. She would've killed to hear those words when she was twelve, before she'd even kissed him. She remembered writing her name beside his, filling notebooks in her tween-crazed first love.
She remembered Year Eight. They'd had a moment alone in the Travers manor. Emily had left hours earlier. She remembered how her heart flipped at the way he smiled at her, the way he seemingly understood all her worries without her uttering a word.
She remembered leaning forward and brazenly pressing a kiss to his mouth.
They'd been thirteen-years old then, inexperienced, and sloppy. It was only a peck, less than a second long. She remembered his stunned expression before their parents were calling them downstairs.
She thought of how she'd excitedly confided to Emily before crying for weeks when she had convinced her that Finn spread that rumour. She thought of how, even now, she could always spot his silvery head in a crowd of people.
***
Finn stiffened at her pause, his heart hammering in his chest. Two months ago, he'd have scoffed at himself for even thinking about kissing Alice Travers, much less admitting his love for her.
But now, watching her blink up at him in the midnight city lights on Christmas day, everything was different.
Vanilla followed him everywhere, and he found himself craving the taste of her tongue on his. He couldn't stand the thought of her being with McKay anymore. Perhaps he never could. Maybe that was the trigger that had him attending parties and eating lunch in the cafeteria again.
Maybe that's why he started watching her friends, watching Emily and Heather. Noticing how Alice's smile wavered around them.
His tie choked him at his neck, and he was reminded of the great lengths he'd gone to just to see her. He'd started attending those stuffy parties he'd always hated, wearing stiff suits and ties and faking politesse just for the opportunity to catch a glance of her.
For the slight possibility of whisking her away and having her to himself.
He always wanted to be around her, even when she was only getting under his nerves—especially when she was getting under his nerves. He was addicted to the fire in her eyes and passion in her voice. The passion that had been smothered out by years under her parents' strict rules.
The passion he'd fallen in love with years ago.
He'd missed her.
He swallowed thickly, pulling back, his brows drawn together. She still hadn't spoken. A sort of eruption of butterflies was released in his stomach and he wondered for a moment if he'd just screwed everything up.
"Alice—"
She interrupted him with a broad smile, leaning forward and pecking his lips, a short kiss, alike the first one they'd shared years ago, before everything had fallen apart.
"I think I never stopped, too," she murmured, finally.
The corner of Finn's lips twitched in a sort of lop-sided smile of relief. He released a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding, and Alice swallowed it with another kiss, sensing his relief. He smiled, pulling back briefly.
"Merry Christmas Alice," he muttered.
"Merry Christmas, Finn," she replied, a wide smile stretched across her lips.
And he kissed her.