| April 15th | Monday Afternoon |
~ Megan's POV ~
Ava sits quietly next to me and works on her homework I had assigned today while I sit next to her and work on grading. The routine we had recently developed was nice, and I could tell it gave Ava comfort knowing she had a steady schedule after school now.
"Do you have any questions about the homework today, Ava?" I ask.
"No ma'am," she answers. "This one is easy."
I smile to myself and know that she was beginning to comprehend a lot more information faster now that her reading level was skyrocketing. Of course, she still struggled with math a lot, but that was something a lot of children couldn't grasp right away. Remaining patient and constantly reinforcing the rules of mathematics was key to helping her develop that area of skill.
"Miss Adams?"
"Yes?"
"Are you married?"
The question came out of nowhere. I stop jotting notes down in my gradebook and look at Ava, who's big brown eyes are now fully fixated on me. It seems as if she has finished all her homework and was searching for something else to entertain her.
"Um, no, not yet," I say.
"Why not?"
"Well, because me and my, uh..." I hesitate. "We just haven't set a date yet."
"Oh."
I try not to let her see the surprise on my face and hope she hadn't noticed me stumble on my words. Personally, I didn't think it was a bad thing to be honest with kids about same-sex relationships considering I didn't believe there was anything wrong with it. Unfortunately, if I did get too personal with Ava and she ends up telling the wrong person, this too could also come back and haunt me. Unfortunately, a lot of people still didn't feel comfortable with the idea of homosexual teachers teaching their young, impressionable children.
I can't help but roll my eyes at the thought, aware that way of thinking was completely ludicrous.
Refusing to continue that conversation, I check my watch and realize Lisa would be here in about thirty minutes. I rummage through my bag and realize I've forgotten some resources I had planned on giving her today when she picked up Ava, at home. I panic.
Shit, I think as I retrieve my phone to text Sam.
"Can you please grab those papers on the dining room table and bring them to me?" I text.
It doesn't take her long to reply with a picture and a question.
"These?"
"Yes, please hurry if you can. They're resources for Ava's guardian."
"Be there in a few."
Aware that Sam would walk into my classroom and see Ava managed to make me nervous. I wonder if she feels the same about it. Of course, there was nothing to be nervous about. I didn't understand the feeling myself. There was just something about knowing she still believed I was too fond of Ava and was going a bit too above-and-beyond for her.
Not to mention the last time she had met Ava it had sent her into a spiral.
I take a deep breath and try not to think too much on the matter. Sam was in a better mental space now. She was openly talking to me about all the things that gave her anxiety, including raising children. Seeing Ava might even make her realize she's no longer in the place she used to be. This could actually have a great outcome...
Or so I hope.
There is a knock on my door, and I look up to see Sam smiling as she enters the room.
"Ava, you remember Sam, don't you?" I ask my student.
"Yes, she came with us to the aquarium!"
I watched Sam's surprised expression at Ava's impeccable memory. They hadn't actually interacted that day, but I knew Ava was observant and could remember a lot of details about situations that most looked over.
"I did," Sam confirms. She sets the papers I had asked for next to me and leans on a desk. "Do you still have those cool rainbow shoes?"
Ava eagerly flashes her shoes by throwing one foot atop her desk, a huge smile beaming on her face.
"I do!"
I never understood why Sam was so insecure in her abilities as a possible parent. Maybe it was her belief that her parenting style would be considered unconventional, but it didn't matter if you did things a little different, because all children are different. Raising them how you see fit is just one of the main challenges.
That's when there's another knock on the door. Lisa stands there with a smile on her face. It was a pleasant sight.
"Sam, could you sit with Ava for a minute while I talk to Lisa?" I ask.
This makes her a bit uneasy, but she obliges anyway.
"Sure."
I grab the resource papers I had put together for her and join Lisa at the door before closing us outside the classroom.
"Is everything alright, Miss Adams?" she wonders.
"Yes, I just wanted to give you these." I hand her the packet of papers. "They're websites to help parents understand the ways we're teaching their kids because how we learned and how they learn now is different."
I can tell she appreciates the gesture a lot. I only hope she starts using these to help her and Ava for the years to come. It seemed like a good idea at the time of curation.
"Thank you," she says. "And thank you, again, for the tutoring. The job thing was rough at first, but I seem to be settling in just fine now."
"That's great."
There were more things I wanted to ask but was unsure if it would be overstepping. It could certainly be considered just that, but there was information I wanted because I didn't want to be taken advantage of either.
"Lisa, can I ask you something?"
She just looks at me.
"Ava told me about someone named Jason?" I wonder aloud. "She said that him leaving was something that made you sad?"
Lisa's happy expression fades at the thought of whoever Jason was. Suddenly, I start to regret asking.
"Jason is my husband," she reveales. "He left me about a two months ago and I have no idea where he is." The struggle in her voice let me know this was in fact a touchy subject. "I guess Ava told you this during the time where I was late picking her up, but he left me alone to raise two teenage boys who are now acting out now that their father is gone. That, on top of complete loss of income, makes things very sad."
"I'm so sorry," I apologize.
"I'm trying my best, Miss Adams, but keeping up with Ava on top of it all..." She shakes her head sadly. "It's getting difficult and I'm not sure what's gonna happen if the system is notified about our situation."
"Are you saying that they might rehome her of they find out your husband left?" I ask.
She just solemnly nods her head in response. Then, without any hesitation, I feel the need to be honest with Lisa. Maybe she can help me now that I was helping her...
"Can I tell you something?"
"Sure."
"Me and my fiancée are getting certified to foster," I reveal.
I didn't have to say much more for her to catch on to what I was saying. She wants to be happy, but also doesn't want to assume. Of course, I was hoping me being honest with her didn't prompt her to become protective over Ava. I also didn't want her to think I wanted to take Ava from her, because that wasn't the case.
"Are you saying...?" she starts.
"I'm saying, if things become too overwhelming..." I pause. "I'd love to foster Ava."
Thoughts seem to swarm Lisa's mind as I momentarily wonder what Ava and Sam were possibly talking about inside my room. My heart beat hard against my chest while I wait for Lisa to say something – anything – to what I had just said.
"When Ava was placed with us, she had a lot of issues," Lisa discloses. "Her last foster home... it was very toxic, to say the least. She's a strong little girl, and I helped her as much as I could..."
I just stand there and listened to Lisa. Rumors were all that I had gathered from other teachers about Ava's past living situation, but none of them were even remotely good. Talk of physical abuse seemed to be the common thread between every single thing I heard. It was upsetting to know, but I was aware it happened more often than we believed.
"Ava has become my daughter, despite what you may think..." Lisa sighs heavily. "But our situation isn't good, and I'm afraid if she's rehomed with another bad family, it might traumatize her beyond repair."
I just nod in agreement, thankful she hasn't taken my comment the wrong way.
"I can tell that you care about her, Miss Adams," Lisa finishs. "And maybe I can keep you updated, on uh, Ava's situation."
A smile involuntarily spreads on my face at the promise. It seems to be a quiet declaration that Lisa would let me know if anything about Ava's status changed.
"That would be great."
* * *
~ Sam's POV ~
"Sam, could you sit with Ava for a minute while I talk to Lisa?" Megan asks.
My stomach clenches with nerves, but I ignore it, knowing it's irrational to feel nervous keeping an eight-year-old company.
"Sure."
Megan and Lisa disappear as she closes the door behind her and I look at Ava, who was already looking at me. I smile uneasily, unsure if I should say anything or let her continue to stare at me in silence. Luckily, she starts a conversation.
"Are you Miss Adam's sister?"
"No, I certainly am not," I answer.
"Oh. Okay."
A few minutes of silence pass as I play on my phone, unaware of what Megan and Lisa could possibly be talking about. I mean, I understood that those papers were resources for Lisa to possibly understand and help Ava in the future, but I doubted if the woman would use them. She looked a bit strung out, like she was just too busy to bother with that.
"Is that a scar?"
My head snaps up and I look at Ava in confusion, only to realize her eyes are fixated on an exposed scar on the back of my arm. Uncertainty on what to say surrounds me. The fact that she had asked if it were a scar made it obvious that she already knew it was.
"Uh, yeah, it is."
"I have scars, too."
Okay, what the hell am I supposed to say to that?
"Yeah?" is all I manage.
"My old foster mom burned me with a cigarette." She reveals a circle of scarred tissue on her arm. "She told me it was an accident after I started crying though."
I am dumbfounded and completely unaware of what to do in this situation. It seems almost surreal that this conversation is even happening. I feel compelled to be honest with her but don't want to make her upset.
"My mom accidentally hurt me too," I confess. "I think it makes her sad now."
Ava just nods.
"My old foster mom was sad when they took me away from her and gave me to Lisa." Ava sighs. "I think her accidentally hurting me too much made her too sad to take care of me."
As I study Ava, I can't help but see a lot of myself in her. It was unfortunate, what both of us had to endure. Right now, I believe she probably had it a bit worse than I did considering her situation, but we could understand each other despite the obvious age gap.
Then my eyes fix on her class binder that sat on the other side of her. I notice the front is covered in paint. It's impressive. I point to it to distract her from continuing to look at my scars.
"Did you paint that?" I ask.
"Yes!" Suddenly, she's excited. "I did it during Spring break because Lisa bought me some paint and paint brushes!"
I can't help but smile.
"It's really good," I compliment. "You should paint as much as you read."
"How do you know I read a lot?"
I give her a guilty grin. "Miss Adams tells me a lot about you."
"Oh." She nods. "I think I will paint more because I like it just as much as I like reading."
"What do you wanna be when you get old like me?" I find myself asking her.
"I don't know."
"You really have no idea?"
She just shrugs. I find it strange because most eight-year-olds would come up with a bizarre answer, like an astronaut or the president. The look on Ava's face makes me wonder if she's deprived herself of thinking about the her future.
"You don't wanna be a writer? Or an artist?"
"I can do that?"
"Of course," I answer confidently. "You can do whatever you want."
Ava seems to like that answer as a beaming smile spreads across her face. That's when the door to the classroom opens and Megan and Lisa step inside. Lisa calls out to Ava to leave.
"Come on Ava," Lisa calls. "Time to go home."
Ava packs up and I can tell Megan is dying to know what we had talked about while she was out. I couldn't wait to hold it over her head and make her beg for it. Teasing her was still a favorite past-time of mine.
"Bye Miss Adams!" Ava shouts from the doorway. "Bye Sam!"
I wave her off as Megan closes the door behind her and faces me.
"So..." She starts while leaning against her desk. "Did you and Ava talk about anything interesting?"
"We did," I tease. "She's a great conversationalist."
"Well?"
"Well what?"
She narrows her eyes as she starts to approach me, attempting to intimidate me into revealing more information. I feel my body respond immediately but refuse to let her get what she wants, at least for now.
"Are you really not going to tell me?"
I take a deep breath and act like I was contemplating an answer.
"I don't know," I continue. "It felt a bit personal, you know? Something that should stay between me and Ava."
"Hmm," was all Megan says.
She turns away from me and begins packing up for the day. The annoyed look on her face was comical, but I knew I would tell her what Ava and I had talked about. Besides, I also wanted to know the same about her and Lisa's conversation.
"How about I tell you over dinner?" I suggest. "We can go to that restaurant you like with the huge wine selection?"
Megan smiles at the idea.
"Sure," she accepts. "Besides, I need to tell you about what Lisa just told me."
I accompany her out of Palm Vista, and we agree to meet at the restaurant that wasn't too far from our home. There is a part of me that's unsure how to lay the information out considering what Ava told me was heavy. I understand Ava's pain, but Megan didn't. I also didn't want to possibly hurt her further. It was clear she was extra sensitive when it came to the girl.
We made it to the restaurant and had no trouble getting a table. Megan orders some wine while I stick with water. Then, we both look at each other, waiting for the other to start recounting our time during the meeting.
"Lisa's husband left," Megan admits. "She's worried that when the state finds out, they're gonna relocate Ava."
I take a deep breath. The distressed look on Megan's face makes me worry. Hell, even I was a bit worried after the conversation I had with the girl. She seems better off where she is now, with someone like Megan on her side.
"So, I told her we were getting certified to foster," Megan finishes.
I just look at her. As much as Megan was honest with me, I could tell she was finding it hard to be honest with herself, especially on the fostering Ava matter.
"Megan, we talked about this..."
"I know," she defends. "And I'm not saying we'll be able to, I just..."
I instinctively reach out and grabbed her hand.
"I just want to help her," she confesses sadly.
Megan's blue eyes refuse to look at me while I contemplate on what to tell her. After today, there were feelings I hadn't had before concerning Ava. Our conversation had certainly changed my perspective. I blame it on the fact that we have similar childhood experiences.
"I want to help her too," I include. "But there's only so much we can do right now, and I don't want you getting your hopes up."
"I know."
"Because if she does get rehomed..." My sentence trails off at the thought of how that may affect Megan. "I just need you to be okay if that happens."
We don't talk about Ava anymore after that, fearful that we would ruin dinner with somber thoughts. It's hard knowing we were capable of helping her, but we had quite a few barriers we needed to take down before we even became eligible. The only thing we had going for us was the fact that we had a direct contact to Ava and Ava's status.
And hopefully that would be enough when it came down to it.
***A/N***
Whoop! Another chappy! Hope you all liked it, and if you did, please vote! Also, PRIDE MONTH IS COMING! I did a cool little interview with the (FreeTheLGBT), so be on the lookout for that as well.
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Lauryn