After returning from Rosemont, I had spent most of my time at the company, staying overtime and burying myself in work. Though I burned to come closer, I still kept my distance from my wife because first I needed to figure out what to do next. Isabelle was very fragile and the realization that she had been through a lot more than I could have imagined filled me with a sense of dread. I didn't want to ask for too much too soon. I didn't want to fuck up again.
The only thing I knew for certain was that I had to take all the necessary actions to get rid of that contract and lift the burden off of Isabelle's chest. Regardless of the direction our relationship would take, I wanted to make sure Isabelle would obtain her freedom so she could make the choice to stay or go by herself. I knew it was selfish to keep her in the dark about these steps that were set into motion, but I needed to buy time to show her how I wanted it to be between us. Before I could begin to hope she'd want anything to do with me, I had to give her a reason to consider staying.
Resolved in my intention to draw divorce papers despite the dire consequences I would have to face, I sent an e-mail to Jared, asking for his legal advice and assistance in the matter. Moments after, my phone rang and I half -expected to already be reprimanded by my concerned friend, but it was only my assistant.
"Sir, your sister is here," Emily informed me. "May I let her in?"
"Which sister?" I asked in a somber tone, praying that it wasn't Dianne.
The last thing I needed was to deal with one of her outbursts and crazy demands to keep a better eye on her husband whom I chose to avoid like pest. While she was busy accusing him of having an affair with our sister, the entire company knew the spineless bastard was banging his secretary but there was no way in hell I would get involved or call him out on what he was doing.
"It's Helen," Emily revealed and I breathed a sigh of relief as I heard my little sister's voice in the background. "She says she can come another time if you are too busy."
"No. Send her in," I instructed without hesitation.
In a matter of moments, Helen was standing in my office, looking a lot better than the last time I had seen her at our parent's house.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything important," she said in an apologetic manner. "I was in the city and I thought I'd stop by to say hi."
I smiled, sensing it was an excuse and she was here for a reason but I chose to let it go.
"Don't worry," I reassured her, motioning towards one of the empty chairs. "I can always squeeze you in."
"That's very nice coming from a workaholic like you," Helen teased as she came closer.
The second she sat down, her eyes froze on my desk and I realized she was staring at the picture of Isabelle I had gotten from Ashley. When she looked at me again, I could see the clear surprise in her expression.
"Nice picture," she muttered with a shadow of a smile.
"Thanks," I replied simply, glancing at my laptop.
Helen continued staring at me, clearing her throat to get my attention. "So...how are things at home?"
"What things?" I asked, lifting my gaze from the screen.
She shook her head and her lips twisted into an excited devilish grin. "Oh come on...don't play around, Romeo. Just tell me what I want to know."
I arched my eyebrows. "Romeo?"
"Yes...Romeo," she repeated. "You have Isabelle's picture on your desk. That means you are officially too far gone. Now tell me what's been going on between the two of you because I'm dying to talk to her."
"Helen, no! You can't talk to her." I bit out in warning and then forced myself to calm down. "I've already told you that I'm taking it slow with her...like really really slow."
Helen turned serious. "So you messed up that badly?"
"Yes, Helen," I admitted, starting to feel uncomfortable. "I have. Now can we please change the subject?"
She smiled sadly, ignoring my request. "I've seen it for myself but I can't help wondering...Was hitting her the worst thing you've done?"
I swallowed and I could feel my expression sink in. "No. It got worse than that...way worse...but I don't want to talk about it, okay?"
"Are you sure?" she probed with gentle persistence. "You look like you could use a good conversation."
"I'm sure," I said with absolute certainty. "Please, just drop it."
"Okay," she agreed, "but if you ever feel the need to get something off of your chest, I'm here for you, Sebastian."
"That's very kind of you, Helen," I said softly, burning to talk about anything else than the status of my marriage. "Now tell me, why are you really here?"
The question seemed to serve as a much needed distraction and a flicker of excitement flashed in Helen's eyes. "You're not gonna believe this, but...I've found an apartment."
It had been a long time since I had seen my little sister so happy and carefree. Her light mood was so contagious that she had almost managed to rub some of it on me.
"That's great news," I said with honest relief because I knew Dianne and Caleb were making her life a living hell. "Just wire all the paperwork and I'll have my accountant make the payment."
"Thank you, but that won't be necessary," she said hesitantly and then confessed. "I've talked to Father and he was quite enthusiastic about getting rid of me...So much so that he has offered to cover all the expenses."
Helen said it like she didn't mind but I could tell she was hit by my parent's lack of tact. They never made her feel welcome and accepted into the family with opened arms like they should have. She was always made to feel like an intruder and the knowledge of the way Father had handled the situation made me furious. Instead of dealing with Dianne's spoiled tantrums and getting her the help that she needed, he had jumped at the idea of Helen moving out. Once again, he had demonstrated what a bastard he was.
"Helen, you didn't need to do that," I said, feeling sorry she ended up getting hurt by one of my parents yet again. "I would be more than happy to pay for everything you need."
A warm smile twisted her lips. "I know, but somehow I feel just a little less guilty when it's his money."
"I can see how that makes sense," I muttered, shaking my head. "I won't interfere but I want you to know my offer is still on the table. I'm here for you if you need me."
"Same here, big brother. I can tell you're going through a rough time," she revealed. "Call me if you need anything...anything at all."
I nodded and was about to thank her when Emily appeared on the door.
"Sir, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but your two o'clock appointment is here," she muttered quietly.
"I guess that's cue for me to leave." Helen stood up and smiled at me as Emily closed the door behind her.
"Sorry...very important meeting. Can't afford another pissed off client breathing down my neck."
"No worries," she said in a happy voice. "I'll let you know when I get the keys so you can check out my new crib."
"That would be great. I can't wait to see it. I'm really happy for you Helen."
"Thanks. See you around, Sebastian," she said, pausing by the door. "Say hi to Isabelle for me."
"I will," I promised, watching as she almost collided with the client who was walking in.
That afternoon, I had decided to work normal hours and I headed home together with the rest of the employees. The house was empty and quiet when I walked in. As I was carrying my laptop bag into my office, I was almost hoping that I would bump into Isabelle, but I knew that chances of finding her inside on a beautiful summer day like this were scarce. It had been so long and I was itching to see her...even from a distance. Telling myself that catching a glimpse of my wife could do no harm, I left my things on my desk and then walked towards her favorite spot in the garden.
But when I came closer, I saw the swing chair was empty. Nevertheless, I could have sworn that Isabelle's flowery scent still lurked there like I had missed her by a mere few minutes. I looked around but I couldn't see her anywhere. There was nobody there. The idea of walking back inside and barricading myself in my office seemed appalling so I decided to stay here for just a while longer.
I sat down on the swing chair and closed my eyes, inhaling the recognizable scent of Isabelle mixed with the smell of wild roses which surrounded me like a cocoon. As the light summer breeze rushed along my skin, I felt like I could see the world through Isabelle's eyes for a span of a second. Taking another look at my surroundings, I could understand why my little wife liked this secluded corner. It was peaceful and there were no other sounds than the occasional chirp of the birds. The flowers and the greenery were soothing and pleasant to the eye. No annoying phone calls, urgent e-mails, never-ending issues or unpostponable appointments here. This place was surrounded with absolute peace and serenity. It was eye opening to discover the calming effect these simple things could have...even on a controlling workaholic like me. I don't know for how long I had just sat there—enjoying the peace and quiet—but it was a while before I decided to head back into the house and return to my chaotic everydayness.
As the reminders of my upcoming obligations began finding their way back into my mind, I stood up to leave and caught something strange from the corner of my eye. Looking down beneath the rose bush, I noticed a little notebook and a pen that were just lying there, covered in dirt. I bend over to pick them up, remembering how I'd seen Isabelle carry this notebook with her a few days ago. She must have forgotten it. Telling myself that I'd return it to her later, I took it to my office and left it in the drawer.
After two large cups of black coffee and a bunch of back and forth bickering with the team that was in charge of the constructions that would have to take place in Paris, I was ready to shut down my laptop and call it a night. There was only one problem. Sleeping alone in that small guest room without Isabelle was terrible and my insomnia returned to torture me with a vengeance.
Though my eyes burned from exhaustion, sleep just wouldn't come and I tossed and turned in my bed until I couldn't take it any longer. The silent misery made me resort to my old tradition of playing the piano and drinking wine. While I pressed the piano keys that blurred in front of my eyes, a part of me wondered if there was a chance that Isabelle experienced the same problem as me. I gulped, remembering Isabelle's reaction in the plane and realizing she probably slept without me just fine. But then, another dark thought entered my mind. What if she had a nightmare? Who was going to soothe her and make sure she was alright?
Suddenly, I began feeling worried and restless. Even the wine couldn't make it better and make me forget about this gnawing instinct that kept warning me that Isabelle might not be okay. The thought that she might wake up from her night terrors in that huge dark room, frightened and all alone, made me want to run over there and check on her. But I knew I couldn't do it. Barging into her room in the middle of the night was not only a terrible idea; it was sheer madness and it would only add to her fears.
Nevertheless, this anxiety which might have been caused by sleep deprivation wouldn't leave my system and I headed towards my office with the intention to continue working. But the moment I entered the room, I didn't even glance towards my laptop. Instead, I found myself opening the drawer and reaching for that notebook. The moment my fingers touched the cover, I paused, telling myself that I had no right to snoop into Isabelle's private thoughts. But the curiosity was stronger than reason and my eyes fell on the first page almost against my own will. I had expected to read an entry to a journal, but the first thing I read left me by surprise.
Chapter One
The new student was the most beautiful boy Julia had ever seen...Even more captivating than that handsome actor she had been crushing on ever since she was a little girl.
During every break, she saw the other girls do all kinds of things to get his attention. One of those things was calling his name and saying hi. That was how she learned it...by hearing those phrases over and over again...Hi, Christian.
He was gorgeous and everybody liked him. And she saw him look at them...always them...never her. Then, one day he appeared on the art class she was taking and noticed her existence. Julia didn't have to call his name to get his attention. He was the one who looked her way. He was the one who smiled at her. He asked her questions about her painting and acted like he was really interested in what she had to say. Julia couldn't deny that whenever he was close her knees went weak, her breathing became shallow and his presence accelerated her heartbeat. She fell desperately in love with him.
Christian was smart. He was kind. He was sweet. When he asked her out and gave Julia her first kiss, he held her hand and whispered into her ears that she was now only his. And she never questioned it. Being close to him was sheer blessing...
I closed the notebook and set it back on the desk like holding it for a moment longer would burn my fingers. Exhaling, I let the words I read sink in. This wasn't a diary. It was a book—a love story written with such innocent reasoning that left me breathless with guilt.
I told myself that I would give it to Anne and instruct her to return it to Isabelle first thing in the morning because reading another word of it would kill me. But—even as I thought that—the gnawing curiosity returned to torture me and I couldn't deny that I yearned to dwell into Isabelle's mind and see where this story of Christian and Julia would go.
Leaning back onto the chair, I reached for it and continued where I had left off. Christian was a popular high school kid and Julia was an introverted nerd, but somehow their story worked. Nevertheless, it wasn't hard to see that—beneath this simple plot—there were underlining similarities Isabelle had taken from her own life when creating these characters.
For example, Julia was very shy and her family situation held an unmistakable resemblance to my wife's former home in Rosemont. To escape the harsh reality of her everydayness, she searched for an imaginary shelter in the world of books and literature where she could pretend to be someone else.
Christian, on the other hand, was a true hero who protected Julia and cared for her in any way he could. When I checked the date on the first page, I saw Isabelle had begun writing this months before we met. The feeling of pressure settled on my chest when I realized this was a young innocent girl's way of coping with the anxiety brought about by her sheltered upbringing. It was a sort of a silent prayer for a way out; a fantasy of a kind man who would appear out of nowhere and make everything better. Only that wasn't what happened in real life. Not for Isabelle...And not for Julia.
Suddenly, the story took a darker unexpected turn and Christian began to change. Baffled by this strange turn of events, I watched him evolve into a cold scrutinizing bastard for no apparent reason. Julia's pain at this shift in his behavior felt so palpable and real that it was impossible not to see it was the description of Isabelle's own anguish she was experiencing with me. At first, I thought I was imagining it, but the more I read, the more it was obvious that the story of these characters' relationship somehow ended up translating into our own fucked up situation.
Reading about what I sensed were Isabelle's inner most sacred feelings and fears she kept bottled up inside herself for months on end while I continued making her miserable felt like I was being stabbed by a sharp blade over and over again. This wasn't just something she did to pass the time but quite the contrary. Writing was Isabelle's therapy. It was all she could do to find any sort of release and escape the pain she was experiencing on a daily basis. This little notebook was the only friend she could confide in.
The initial light tone of writing turned heavier and more painful to read with every single page I turned but I couldn't stop myself from going further. I had to find out more. I had to know. I read until my eyes hurt and it was almost dawn. At last, I got to the last page that contained Christian's honest apology and a promise that he would make it up to her. Julia didn't dare to trust it. She was already broken but the words she never expected to hear from Christian's lips gave her hope because she still loved him. The last sentence made me catch my breath. He was asking for a second chance. Julia wanted to give it to him but she was afraid to let him in. What if he ended up hurting her all over again? She knew she wouldn't survive the repetition of such pain.
Taking in a deep breath, I closed the notebook and put it back into the drawer. The exhaustion in my system began mixing with the undeniable feeling of guilt and yearning to see Isabelle. I needed a few moments to compose myself. It took me a while, but somehow I managed to defeat this instinctive urge that demanded me to go find my wife and pull her into my arms.
Giving up on that idea, I walked to my room and took a cold shower, opting to spend the rest of the day at home because no grooming in this world could erase the traces of a sleepless night from my face. As I was descending the stairs, I could hear Anne's voice echoing down the hallway and it sounded like she was giving someone a tour around the house. The closer I got to my office, the louder the voices became.
"Please keep in mind that he is a very busy man and he doesn't appreciate unexpected interruptions," Anne warned in a serious tone. "Don't go in there unless you are instructed to do so."
Before the other person got a chance to reply, I emerged around the corner and saw Anne and a young blond haired girl standing in front of my office door. Both of them got alerted to the sounds of my approaching steps and the girl turned around, her blue eyes leveling with mine for a split second.
"Good morning, Anne," I greeted in a voice that demanded an explanation for what I had encountered.
"Good morning, Sebastian," Anne replied, motioning towards the girl. "This is Antoinette Mayer—Teresa's replacement. She doesn't have a lot of experience but the agency assured me she met all of your requirements."
Arching my eyebrows, I looked at her with the intention to ask her a few questions but she glanced towards Anne, appearing confused and taken aback.
"Oh, excuse me, dear," Anne said softly. "It slipped my mind that you don't know anybody here. This is Mr. Everett, your new employer."
At last, the girl's eyes met mine. Though I could read the discomfort in her expression, I had no intention to say or do anything that would make her think she could relax around me. It was nothing personal. I just never let my guard down around strangers and I wasn't in the habit of making friends with the members of the staff.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Sir," she said, extending her hand towards me.
"Likewise, Ms. Mayer," I offered in a cold tone, shaking her hand without breaking eye-contact.
"Please, call me Annette," she demanded with a soft smile, a crude blush spreading along her face when I let go of her sweaty palm and pulled my hand back.
Offering no reply to the new maid's ridiculous request, I found myself observing her appearance and suddenly, I regretted not taking the responsibility of contacting the agency myself. If it was up to me, I would have chosen an experienced woman of Anne's age. This girl couldn't have been a lot older than Isabelle and I didn't want to see her surrounded with someone who made her feel threatened. Isabelle's kind trusting nature made her an easy target and the last thing I needed in this fucked up situation was a repetition of what happened with Teresa. I was itching to talk to Anne and tell her the reasons why this girl had to go, but I couldn't bring myself to undermine her decision. After all, I had given her the freedom to choose whomever she wanted. Nevertheless, I was determined to lay down the rules about how she was expected to conduct herself in Isabelle's presence.
"That won't be necessary, Ms. Mayer," I bit out in a cold tone and I could see her eyes widen in clear surprise at my blunt refusal to call her by her nickname. "Tell me, have you met my wife?"
"No, Sir," she said in a small voice. "I'm afraid I haven't had the chance but Anne said she would introduce us later."
I nodded and asked, "Did Anne explain the rules?"
"Sebastian, please bear in mind that it's her first day—" Anne interfered but I raised my hand, letting her know I wanted to handle the issue of behavior that was required around Isabelle myself.
"Well?" I asked, giving Antoinette my undivided attention.
"I am not sure what rules you are referring to, Sir," she admitted.
I exhaled and contemplated on my next words. "There has been a...situation with the girl who was working here before you."
"Yes, Anne has told me about that," she uncovered.
"As you can imagine, I wish to avoid the repetition of such incidents at all costs. I will not have anyone jeopardize my wife's wellbeing and comfort in her own home."
The silent glare in Anne's eyes warned me I was too harsh and borderline rude to our new employee but the propriety was the last fucking thing on my mind at that moment. I needed to make it clear that Isabelle was to be treated like a queen or else she would have to answer to me.
"Of course, Sir," Antoinette agreed. "I understand. To be honest, I'm looking forward to meet your wife. Anne told me Isabelle was very kind. I'm sure we'll get along."
"She is Mrs. Everett to you," I corrected in a calm tone. "And you don't have to get along. The only thing you are required to do is cater to her every need and make sure you don't mend into our private business. Is that clear?"
Anne shook her head at me but I raised my eyebrows, warning her to stay out of this. I didn't give a damn if this Antoinette was so intimidated by me that she would opt to resign on her very first day here. As far as I was concerned, that would have been the best solution for everybody. But the girl seemed to have had a very thick skin and she took my harsh reprimand with a glistening smile on her face.
"That won't be a problem, Sir," she assured me. "Don't worry. I will treat Mrs. Everett with respect."
"Make sure that you do," I warned in an unforgiving tone. "Anne will explain the rest of it later. Now, ladies, if you'll excuse me...I have to get back to business."
Antoinette seemed confused but Anne rested her hand on her shoulder and motioned for her to move away from the door to my office that they were blocking. Before I disappeared from their sight, I looked towards Anne and gave her a reassuring smile, offering a silent apology in case I had made her feel uncomfortable. Demonstrating she knew me better than most people, she exhaled and smiled back, once again shaking her head.
The moment I opened my laptop, I saw an e-mail from Jared that was marked as urgent. As expected, he told me he would do whatever I wanted but he had certain doubts before he began setting up a legal team. Once again, he was wondering if I was aware of all the consequences and if I was sure I would be able to pull this off.
I couldn't lie and say that I didn't share Jared's concerns. His question made me start thinking about my next steps. Opening up a new company would be a piece of cake, but business was made out of clients and people. Some of the most experienced employees were old school and loyal to Father so there was no way they would betray him by leaving. In my mind, I started making a mental list of people who might consider transferring to a new position. It was of small comfort that I didn't need a lot of staff because I had to start small and grow back into where I was now. The thought that it might take me years to do that filled me with anger but I knew I had no fucking choice. I had to do it for Isabelle. It wouldn't be easy but she was fucking worth it.
As much as I wanted to continue pondering on my plans and options for the future, I had a scheduled videocall meeting with the client from Paris. This was one of the last projects I would have to do for The Goliath and I was obsessing over every little detail. Regardless of the fact that I was preparing to leave it all behind, my reputation meant the world to me and I wanted to make sure I left a decent legacy behind me.
I was reading the summary file and writing down the key points of the upcoming discussion when the loud music began infiltrating my ears. At first, it was coming from the hallway but then it began playing in my office as well. And it was Wicked Games by Chris Isaac out of all fucking things. I hated that song because it reminded me of this club I used to frequent during college years and they'd use it whenever the lights went on, signalizing the night was over and we had to go home. I looked up towards the speaker in the ceiling, wondering if I was hallucinating. Nope. The fucking thing was definitely playing. I reached for the phone on my desk and called the fixed line. It rang about a dozen times before Anne decided to pick up.
"Anne, what the hell is going on?" I demanded in a somewhat harsh tone. "Are we having some kind of a reception that I'm not aware of?"
"No, Sebastian," she assured me. "There is no reception."
"Then why is this annoying music blasting all over the house?"
"I'm sorry. I was just trying to explain to Antoinette how this thing works," she said in an apologetic tone. "I promise it will only take a few minutes."
"I'm afraid it will have to wait. I have a very important videocall scheduled in fifteen minutes and I need absolute silence."
"Of course," Anne said and there was commotion and voices in the background but the music still kept going. "Oh dear, I can't figure out how to turn it off."
"Just use the remote control," I suggested, cursing inside of myself because this was the last fucking thing I needed to be dealing with at this moment.
"I am trying...it's not working." Anne sounded like she was in over her head. "The thing is broken."
I exhaled, trying to keep my irritation at bay. Even though Anne and technology never mixed well, I knew she had done this with the best of intentions.
"Don't move," I instructed, already getting up from my chair. "I'm coming over to fix it."
Adamant to make sure I was back on time for the meeting, I stormed out of my office and rushed down the hallway. As I was passing by the library, I caught a glimpse of Isabelle and stopped dead in my tracks. Drawn to the unexpected sight of her, I forgot all about Anne, the annoying music and the videocall I was supposed to have in mere minutes. The only thing I could focus on was the sight of my beautiful wife who was so lost in her imaginary world of books that she was completely oblivious to my presence. Running her fingers along the bookshelf, she was humming the words of the song in a such a mesmerizing voice that somehow made it sound like the most captivating melody in the world. The last remains of my reason trickled away and I could feel the temperature rising. The sudden heat was crawling up on my skin until it reached my neck and I had to loosen up my tie to be able to breathe. Unable to take another second of the torture, I surrendered to this magnetic force that pulled me towards Isabelle and took a step closer...
***
Hi loves, sorry for the long boring chapter. Promise next one will be better. :*