A/N: Hey everyone. I hope you're all doing well despite the completely insane situation we're in because of the coronavirus outbreak. I know I haven't updated in ten months (crazy, I know), but I would like to say that I have no desire to give up on this story.
Without getting into too many details, I ended up in a bad and very stressful situation in May of last year, which took up a huge amount of my time and energy. I felt practically no motivation to write and that followed me for a long time. Also, that stress impacted my mental health significantly, so writing on a schedule or anything like that was basically off the table. I felt really guilty that I wasn't posting, because I'm sure a lot of you thought I'd given up, but I haven't. I just took a really long break. Now that's I'm out of that situation, I think I'm in a way better position to keep writing.
Sorry to keep all of you waiting, and I really hope that you continue to read and enjoy this book. I don't know what updates will be like going forward but I have a lot of time on my hands with the pandemic forcing me inside all the time, so I should be posting a lot more than once every ten months. Again, sorry about that.
I should also say that I renamed what Lillian is to a "Schäferin" because I like that better. Everything else, like all the animal telepathy, is the same.
Finally, the attached photo is exactly how I envision Ophelia, to help you all imagine her.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! Please give this chapter a vote or comment when you're done!
- TAAF_
Lillian's POV
I walked out into Ophelia and Gingko's paddock with a sense of calm over me. I finally had an answer to all the unsettling things that had happened to me in the last few weeks. I knew why I could feel Derek's pain. I knew why I'd always been able to stop an animal from freaking out. I had to believe my powers hadn't just forced all the relationships I had with Ophelia, and Hudson and all the rest of them. I had to believe there was more to it than that.
As if she knew, Ophelia met me in the middle of the green field, raising her head when she stopped in front of me.
"Hey, you," I murmured, scratching her forehead, looking deep into her dark eyes. I felt this warmth looking at her, the feeling I usually got when I was near her. "Wanna help me figure out what's going on with me?"
Ophelia let out a well-timed snort and I laughed. Maybe she really could understand me. I mean, she must because that was what my powers were all about. A jolt of nervous energy passed through me as I considered investigating that further. Would we be able to communicate if I could hone my powers properly? I moved my hand over to her muscled neck, running my fingers over her smooth coat. What's going on in your brain, huh? I thought, watching her as she watched me, reaching deep into myself to find whatever powers I had.
A deeper sense of calm washed over me as I ran my thumb over Ophelia's cheek. She nickered and lowered her head, pushing her nose into me. Was she the one feeling calm, or was it me? Or was it both of us? I had basically nothing to go on in terms of exploring these powers. Maybe I was just making stuff up for reassurance.
I glanced over my shoulder at Derek, who was leaning against the fence from the outside of the paddock.
"This is weird," I said. "I don't even know what I should be doing right now."
Derek crossed his arms and smirked a bit. "I mean, you're the horse-whisperer, not me."
"Oh, shut up," I snapped lightly, turning back to Ophelia, who was quietly watching Derek. "Should I, like, just try telling her what to do? Do horses even speak English?" I considered that for a moment while looking at Ophelia hopelessly. "Y'know what, actually? I bet it's the command I ask for that controls them, not the actual words. Animals probably don't speak languages in their minds like humans can. They probably just have thoughts that don't translate to actual words in their minds." Hm.
"You're probably right about that," Derek agreed.
Randomly telling Ophelia what to do was going to make me feel stupid, I just knew it. This discovery of what I was had the potential to completely alter my relationship with this animal, and maybe a lot of other relationships of mine. I didn't even want to get into how my powers interacted with my relationship with Derek. I'd already seen that my powers were for sure active in it, with the fact that I could feel his pain and tell him what to do like I did outside the police station. Part of me didn't want to know what else had been impacted.
Alright, I thought. I needed to get this show on the road, even if it made me feel like an idiot. Maybe just talking to her normally would work? Ugh. This was weird. Okay.
"Let's go," I said suddenly, ripping off the bandaid as I started walking deeper into the paddock, waiting for Ophelia to follow me.
"Hey!" Derek called. "That's not testing your powers, you already have her trained to do that!"
I rolled my eyes as I stopped moving, turning back around to glare at him. I opened my mouth to talk back but he was right, to really test what I could do I was going to have to do something different that I'd never done with her before. Or at least could try getting her to do things without saying them out loud, to see if she really could understand me. So instead of saying anything, I just thought "Come with me," and started walking again. I heard nothing other than the breeze for a few moments. Come with me, I thought again, focusing only on Ophelia. A moment later, the sound of my footsteps was joined by hoofbeats and I stopped, whipping back around. She was indeed following me with purpose, her ears forward and eyes focused. Whoa. That was pretty cool.
When she got to me she stopped and hung her head over my shoulder, nickering softly and I smirked. Wow. I didn't know why I was surprised that these supposed powers of mine were working, but it still seemed crazy that I could possess them. What else could I do? I wondered how far I could push this. Would I be able to somehow telepathically communicate with animals if I honed my skills well enough? Maybe I would find out someday. I glanced over my shoulder at Derek, his elbows resting on the edge of the fence, eyes fixed on Ophelia. I had an idea.
I could absolutely not contain my laughter when Ophelia suddenly left me and cantered over to him, tossing her head as she approached. She slid to a stop in front of him and nudged him with her face, snorting. Derek's eyes were wide but he laughed, patting her forehead.
"You're hilarious," he called, eyeing me from behind the grey horse.
"Oh, I know," I said. "But isn't that sick? I told her to do that in my mind and it freaking worked! Honestly I kinda thought this whole Schäferin thing was bullshit, but I think I'm on board now!"
"It's definitely legit, Lillian," he said back. "Maybe you still need to wrap your mind around the fact that there are more than just humans around."
I shrugged. "Could be." I summoned Ophelia back to me as I moved closer to the fence where Derek was. I felt a twinge of excitement at this newfound skill. If I was really able to ask anything of Ophelia... the sky was the limit. Would I be able to train her to protect me in dire situations? Horses could be extremely dangerous animals, but they usually had no interest in hurting people, most horse-related injuries were accidents. But... if Ophelia wanted to hurt someone, to protect me or Derek... Jeez. She could do some serious damage.
My gaze fell to those massive hooves and tried not to wince. I had a scar on my side from when Ophelia bit me back when we first got her and she thought all people were going to hurt her. Part of me didn't want to know what she was capable of at full strength and with a clear intention of hurting someone. Ice skittered down my spine as I touched Ophelia's muscular neck, and I knew in my bones I never wanted to find out what she was capable of unless I absolutely had to. Suddenly, there was a weight to the abilities I had that pressed in on my shoulders and chest. Responsibility. The understanding settled over me that I would never unleash Ophelia or any other animal unless my life depended on it. I couldn't in any kind of good conscience do anything different. I shuddered to think of what situations I'd have to be in for that to be a choice I had to make.
"What's wrong?"
I blinked and turned to Derek. "What?"
"What's wrong? You started looking kind of dazed for a minute there."
"Oh," I said, stepping away from Ophelia and releasing any mental tether I had holding her. I blinked again. That release happened so quickly, like, I'd just used my abilities without even thinking? I didn't think learning to use them would be easy, but letting her go felt as natural as breathing in that moment. "These powers... they're kinda weird."
"Mm," Derek hummed. "I bet."
"I think I'm done for today," I added, resting my elbows on the fence next to where he was standing. "This is a lot to take in."
"Is it?" Derek asked. "You've had these powers your whole life, and judging by how well you work with animals already, you've been using your powers your whole life."
"So you said," I agreed. "But it's still weird to try to intentionally make them do things. And just now I got thinking about how much damage a horse could do if I told them to hurt a person. Like, honestly, I'm not sure I even want to know what would happen. The fact that I could cause that is really freaky." I paused, that icy feeling settling in my gut. "I don't like all that power."
Derek smirked. "You might get used to it."
I rolled my eyes. "Like you're used to all that great power that comes with being a werewolf?"
His smile grew. "Exactly. But in all seriousness, you will get used to it. And it's not like anyone can make you use those powers. You can abstain if you want, probably."
"What do you mean, 'probably'?"
Derek shrugged. "Like, I don't know if you can stop all the unconscious stuff you do, but the intentional stuff that probably freaks you out, you don't have to do any of that if you don't want to. No one's telling you that you have to make Ophelia hurt anyone."
"I know," I said. "But if it was either you or I get killed by Kate Argent or Ophelia hurts her, you know which I have to pick."
"Oh, yeah, I know," Derek agreed. "But hopefully it never comes to that."
"No kidding," I huffed. It was all fun and games to joke about kicking Kate Argent's ass but knowing the amount of pain I could possibly cause another person wasn't fun to think about. If we could all avoid harm to each other, that would be great. I wondered for a moment if that was possible, as the image of what the Alpha did to Derek flooded back into my mind. I could still feel that sticky, black blood against his deathly pale skin, and the stiffness of my jeans after the pool of blood I was kneeling in dried to me. Nothing would ever rid me of those feelings. I shook my head. Enough of that.
"I need a change of scenery," I said, climbing over the fence. "Want to do something else?"
"Sure," Derek said. "What about doing some Kali or something? We haven't trained in so long. First, it was the Ophelia incident, then we broke up..."
I felt my mood brighten and I grinned. "Oh my God, yes, we should do that. When we weren't seeing each other, I got really into training in jiu-jitsu at the Foundry with this girl Thea. Who knows, maybe I'll finally be better than you at something and you'll know how it feels to be one of us mortals."
Derek let out a quick laugh that was about as dry as a pile of sand and eyed me. "Yeah, no."
"I guess we'll just have to see, now won't we?" I said back smoothly. "I've had a while to get an edge on you, I know you haven't trained with anyone but me."
"And what makes you so sure of that?" Derek crossed his arms and pressed his back against the fence post behind him. I honestly hated how good he looked doing something as simple as leaning on a piece of wood. I really did.
I laughed. "Because no one else would come within ten feet of you if they thought you would try to fight them." I stepped closer to him as I rested my hand on his chest and tried not to let my heart flutter. "You're kind of scary, Derek."
Derek's eyes darkened with an expression I could only describe as 'mischief.' Good Lord. "Not too scary for you, though."
"No," I murmured, letting my hand slide up his body until it settled around the back of his neck. "It's really fortunate for you that--"
"Mhm?" he purred, leaning into me and he raised his eyebrows.
I held back my shuddering breath. "It's really fortunate that I find all that 'Look at me I'm a big tough werewolf' thing really sexy."
"Mm, that is lucky for you," he said onto my neck, and my hand travelled into his dark hair. I didn't let him say anything more before I kissed him, and I felt him smile against my lips. His presence was honestly intoxicating; he took up all the space around me when he acted like this, and I loved it. He slid his hand under my chin, tilting my face so he could have better access, and I just about melted into him.
"Okay, wait--" I murmured as the remnants of my sense came back to me. "Where is my sister? We should try not to traumatize her twice by making out in broad daylight."
"Lillian," Derek said. "It's a school day. Chill out."
"Right," I muttered, shaking my head. "We should go train, though. Didn't you say we have something to do tonight?"
"Yeah," Derek sighed. "It's completely possible that I'm going to need to keep Scott from being a complete maniac tonight, I really have no idea how he's been doing on full moons. Stiles is too busy thinking I'm an ass to let me help Scott. It's not like I actually know what I'm talking about or anything."
I chuckled. "You know who you sound like? Stiles."
That comment earned me a massive eye roll.
"Honestly, Derek. You guys could actually be friends."
Derek raised his eyebrows incredulously. "Is that what you want?"
"Yes," I said. "Trust me, he's not that bad."
"Lillian, trust me, he hates me. He thinks I'm ruining his and Scott's lives."
"But you're not. We just need to get him on board with that. I'll help."
"Alright," Derek chuckled. "I'll take your word for it."